Matt Drufke @IHateMattDrufke
Father, husband, comedian, producer, writer, Ham Daddy fancyboysclub.com Illinois, USA Joined November 2011-
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Can confirm
My birthday is in, like, four weeks
My birthday is in, like, four weeks
Had a Kit Kat today and trying not to be angry at myself. This is what middle-aged fat feels like.
Matt Drufke retweeted
AD: if I sit here long enough then it’s like I won too
New working theory: In the movie “Moana”, while she is on her adventure and the people on the island have no fish or coconuts, they resort to light cannibalism.
Matt Drufke retweeted
🥵🥵🥵
Matt Drufke retweeted
A woman just said “COVID’s over” to me on the street and instead of something clever I said, “fuck you bitch, I hope you get it.”
What is it like being my kid? When they ask for Daniel Tiger singing “Close Your Eyes And Think Of Something Good”, my algorithm forces me to skip the first result, Run The Jewels’ “Close Your Eyes (And Count To F*ck)”
If the #Bulls are gonna get waxed in the first round (if they get there), at least they’re showing some fun tonight. #NBAPlayoffs #NBAPlayIn
Quick thoughts: 1. Everyone could probably use some therapy 2. Not all therapists are right for all people 3. Therapy can be life-saving when things are bad, but also go when things are good 4. Never feel bad talking about needing someone to talk to
Great box office weekend: boxofficega.me June 26, 1987 ✅ 155 ✅ 80 ✅ 120 ✅ 120 ✅ 155 ➕ 180 🏆 810
Things I learned about myself: if I am in @jewelosco and I am listening to the Hold Steady, I will spend $60 on snacks
Debating whether I should just give up and do preschool dropoff in pajama pants.
Every day, there is a sign in my brain that reads: “Days without an (emotional) breakdown: 0”. And the foreman walks by and says, “We’ll get there.”
Man, @elonmusk boofed his depo. Way to go, @BankstonAtLaw! Also, I’m doing comedy in South Beloit tonight.
What happens to a werewolf or a vampire right now? #Eclipse
Knowledge Fight @knowledge_fight
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Megan Gailey @megangailey
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Steven Castillo @STEEEZUSCHRIST
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Tommy McNamara @TommyMcNam
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Michael Meyers @MeMichaelMeyers
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Josh Ballew @FernBallew
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Reena Calm @ReenaCalm
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Becca O'Neal 🍒 @becca_oneal
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Joe Kilgallon @joekilgallon
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Bi Fieri 🔥 @sam_ash
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TASmith @wherestrist
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𝘁𝗶𝗺 𝗯𝗮.. @TimBarnes451
10K Followers 3K Following TV writer: @nickelodeon, @fallontonight - Creator of #MauriceOnMars (https://t.co/1cQVqJpIBU) - Host of @YouAreTheGenre - Co-host of: @YubNubPod
Natalie Grace Alford @NatalieGABand
2K Followers 1K Following they/them meh I have bisexual long Covid |Free Palestine| Free Vax&Free Masks| also post art sometimes
Shirts That Go Hard R.. @MayorOfFartTown
3K Followers 1K Following I show my penis on Instagram. @hot_comic69 professional wroter
Jon Torres @jontorrestweets
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𝚋𝚘𝚋𝚋𝚢 .. @Mocha_Jesus
1K Followers 1K Following Never watched the cartoon Pod: @NewOGsPod Purpose: @StateMadison All Black Lives Matter ✊🏿✊🏾✊🏽 𝘾𝙤𝙢𝙞𝙘-𝙈𝙪𝙡𝙖𝙩𝙩𝙤-𝙋𝙤𝙡𝙮𝙇𝙖𝙢𝙖-𝘿𝙄𝙇𝙁 He/Him
Greg Bach @iamgregbach
2K Followers 1K Following I tell jokes on stages. I co-run a comedy club. I produce & talk on radio. I've made Bon Iver laugh. I'm a trash icon who's worth a million in prizes
A LIST OF WET CELEBRI.. @MrZachPeterson
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Rob Gals 🇺🇸🇺.. @robgals1968
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397 Followers 5K Following See the world on the road, and get to know yourself on the way!
Resanaez @resanaez31275
29 Followers 1K Following I live alone now and enjoy business, traveling, shopping, food and music. I have a calm personality and I hope we can be friends.
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Disko Comedy @DiskoComedy
313 Followers 664 Following Search Engine spotlighting #Comedians and #Comedy content | Part of @WatchDisko
R G V @HughMann55
0 Followers 937 Following
Erica Lafferty @EricaAsh199213
237 Followers 301 Following lead plaintiff: lafferty v jones, sandy hook principal’s kid, cancer fighter, chronic victim to america’s policy failures
Dayana Koch @KochDayana62398
114 Followers 3K Following
Tom_Joad @PoTater_Baiter
270 Followers 744 Following Now I have become Masher, the destroyer of Potatoes 🥔🧈🥛🧂🍴
Ziaullah Arain @ZiaullahArain9
347 Followers 979 Following My name is ziaullah S/O Abdul Rasheed Javed My cast Arain I'm from Sanghar Sindh Pakistan and I'm spotter of PMLN Jey Nawaz Sharif Zindabad
Teythea @teythea2753
60 Followers 2K Following
Aiyana Crump @aiyana26707
26 Followers 488 Following Amateur life goer. Learning to love life&myself again!! 31/💍/❤️🔥HotMoma❤️🔥/18+only🔞/solo artist🎨/🚫collabs click link below 🌧️}📣
Hugh Munculus @UnderaNoverit
104 Followers 985 Following
Loretta Anthony @funds52484
358 Followers 3K Following Get rewards for your passion on fixed matches 🏉⚽🎾🏈🏉🏆 #Prizepicks#Parley#Mlb#Nfl join our regular group 👉https://t.co/ZBh0ulwXan
Knowledge Fight @knowledge_fight
38K Followers 135 Following A podcast where Dan tells his friend Jordan about what happened that day on the Alex Jones Show, and they struggle to make sense of it all.
Megan Gailey @megangailey
44K Followers 3K Following
Steven Castillo @STEEEZUSCHRIST
20K Followers 3K Following cartoon network’s “comics to watch,” @nbcsnl, just for laughs
Tommy McNamara @TommyMcNam
7K Followers 2K Following watch my special SMOLDERING here for free: https://t.co/zWfmFpuqlc
Michael Meyers @MeMichaelMeyers
1K Followers 816 Following Stand up comedian in Chicago. I have a special linked below called, Michael Meyers Performs Comedy for Real People
Josh Ballew @FernBallew
2K Followers 3K Following Currently: Contributor at @theonion | Formerly: @WhiskeyJournal, @pitchjokes | Rejected by: @REALpunknews, @Reductress, @StephenAtHome, @verge, TK
Reena Calm @ReenaCalm
4K Followers 1K Following ✨CALMEDY✨album out now!! Comedy has always been my dream, I don't care where it takes me. BELIEVE IN YOUR DREAMS, and please dream about me being successful 💚
Becca O'Neal 🍒 @becca_oneal
26K Followers 8K Following comedian. writer. she/her 💞 becca.v.oneal@gmail
Joe Kilgallon @joekilgallon
5K Followers 2K Following Comedian,Actor,& Podcast Host of @joekilgallonpod. Hours of Stand Up Comedy on Youtube! Tiktok = joekilgalloncomedy #MCFC #Cubs Tour dates click link below!
Bi Fieri 🔥 @sam_ash
3K Followers 4K Following
Laurie Kilmartin @anylaurie16
106K Followers 6K Following Comedian / Emmy-Nominated & WGA Award-Winning Writer / Seen on After Midnight, Conan, Corden / NYT Best Selling Author / "Cis Woke Grief Sl*t" out now.
TASmith @wherestrist
1K Followers 991 Following My name is Tristan A. Smith. I'm a stand-up comedian, writer, producer, and actor. If you're following me you probably know this.
𝘁𝗶𝗺 𝗯𝗮.. @TimBarnes451
10K Followers 3K Following TV writer: @nickelodeon, @fallontonight - Creator of #MauriceOnMars (https://t.co/1cQVqJpIBU) - Host of @YouAreTheGenre - Co-host of: @YubNubPod
Natalie Grace Alford @NatalieGABand
2K Followers 1K Following they/them meh I have bisexual long Covid |Free Palestine| Free Vax&Free Masks| also post art sometimes
Shirts That Go Hard R.. @MayorOfFartTown
3K Followers 1K Following I show my penis on Instagram. @hot_comic69 professional wroter
Jon Torres @jontorrestweets
336 Followers 357 Following
𝚋𝚘𝚋𝚋𝚢 .. @Mocha_Jesus
1K Followers 1K Following Never watched the cartoon Pod: @NewOGsPod Purpose: @StateMadison All Black Lives Matter ✊🏿✊🏾✊🏽 𝘾𝙤𝙢𝙞𝙘-𝙈𝙪𝙡𝙖𝙩𝙩𝙤-𝙋𝙤𝙡𝙮𝙇𝙖𝙢𝙖-𝘿𝙄𝙇𝙁 He/Him
Adam Bauer @BauerPauerHauer
7K Followers 777 Following Writer, gambler, famous travel influencer. H̶y̶a̶t̶t̶ ̶G̶l̶o̶b̶a̶l̶i̶s̶t̶ ̶n̶b̶d̶ I only tweet to get likes. Travel Fanboy Cheapskate Vegas
Chris Mattei @ChrisMatteiCT
2K Followers 433 Following Dad to three boys, Joy's husband, Citizen, Lawyer, Former corruption prosecutor, and Whaler fan for life.
Susan Ingram 🤦🏻.. @slickhorrible
293 Followers 708 Following Professional idiot, haijin, amateur photographer, and maker of stuff. Vaxxed as hell ! Map nerd, book nerd, drinker of drinks.
John Markham @johntmarkham
40 Followers 138 Following
Erica Lafferty @EricaAsh199213
237 Followers 301 Following lead plaintiff: lafferty v jones, sandy hook principal’s kid, cancer fighter, chronic victim to america’s policy failures
Cat 😻🛹 @kannolikitten
124 Followers 309 Following "Don't ever tell anybody anything. If you do, you start missing everybody" -J.D. Salinger, Catcher in the Rye (she/her)
Mark Bankston @BankstonAtLaw
18K Followers 219 Following Partner, Farrar & Ball. Bomb-throwing do-gooder. Half Robin Hood, half Blackbeard. Caught Alex Jones lying on the stand.
Mike Rothschild (no r.. @rothschildmd
74K Followers 3K Following Conspiracy theory expert, author of THE STORM IS UPON US and JEWISH SPACE LASERS. Contact: [email protected]. 'Little chicken-neck guy' -Alex Jones
Three Year Letterman @3YearLetterman
461K Followers 1K Following Youth Football Coaching Legend, Die-hard Georgia Fan, Three-Year High School Football Letterman, Showstopping Little League Umpire, Region Champion (3-way tie)
Northern IL Insurrect.. @ILseditionwatch
99 Followers 47 Following I collect posts from radical right wing insurrectionists from the Mchenry County, IL area. DM me your seditionist screencaps!
Dr. Joe Rogan @RealDrJoeRogan
175 Followers 352 Following Expert in virologies; immunologist with various PhDs and podcasts in the subject. #Ivermectin works. Get your dose today.
Prof Peter Hotez MD P.. @PeterHotez
452K Followers 8K Following Vaccine Scientist-Author-Combat Antiscience @bcmhouston Professor Pediatrics Molecular Virology, @bcm_tropmed Dean, @TexasChildrens Chair in Tropical Pediatrics
Devon Kay & the Solut.. @DevonKSolutions
809 Followers 210 Following Official Twitter Home of the World's Greatest Band Chicago's Greatest Export, Always Playing Shows Booking: [email protected]
Oliver Jetts Sr. @OliverJettsSr
23 Followers 246 Following I may be rich but I'm just like you. Podcast about my humble adventures coming soon.
Bitrue @BitrueOfficial
455K Followers 2K Following Leading crypto exchange. Trade $XRP $BTR $ADA $LUNA $DOGE & $BTC on #Bitrue. Telegram community: https://t.co/iFO0LGTFMD. Support @BitrueOfficialT
the thicc husband & f.. @lukeisamazing
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1K Followers 2K Following Tracking right-wing misinformation & extremism in Will County IL. Not affiliated/endorsed by any political party/org. Threatened w/ legal action by @NaperCoyne.
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860 Followers 1K Following
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289 Followers 1K Following Person interested in most things. Done a lot & seen a fair bit
Simon Smith MD ANT @smithsimonMEN
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The Great American Po.. @USAQuizShow
729 Followers 104 Following The weekly pop culture quiz show where the listeners are the players!
death angel @angel_0f_deathx
109K Followers 1K Following pied piper of ass | gym enjoyer | switch ⛓️ MDNI🔞
Gary Peterson 🇺�.. @GaryPetersonUSA
57K Followers 333 Following Patriot. Bible Reader. Mall Santa. I like WOMEN! Bass player for our church band Shifty Nelson & The Dixieland Scooters, who puts America First.
Ryan Burkett @blackbeltjonz
1K Followers 2K Following Chicago comedy, writer, co-host of The Music Video Podcast, he/him https://t.co/aLhcGjl0Xa
AlexanderTruly @AlexanderTruly
2 Followers 38 Following Professional hiker, brilliant wordsmith, leader of the Truly True Foundation, and tantric elitist.
shirts that go hard @shirtsthtgohard
1.4M Followers 610 Following 20% off your first purchase, use code 'FIRST'! DM for credit! I tag original creators whenever possible. Designs I sell are my own. We’re @/goodshirts on IG!
New York Times Pitchb.. @DougJBalloon
263K Followers 4K Following Parody. The really well-trained dog is the one that turns his somersault when there is no whip. merch: https://t.co/3bxNPhdkPL
Functional Mediocrity @maxdad1112
178 Followers 529 Following
Tim Thompson @TPTBeyond
199 Followers 133 Following
Stone Cutters Branch .. @scbranch69
635 Followers 265 Following Who controls the Media? Who keeps the metric system down? We do, we do! Who keeps Basco off the maps? Who keeps the Martians under wraps? We do, we do!
big honkin caboose @itsmegangraves
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Sam Van Hallgren @samvanhallgren
5K Followers 2K Following Dad, Filmspotting, NH native, Kenyon grad, wants your music/book recommendations. “Sticky spring leaves, the blue sky—I love them, that’s all!”
🏳️🌈 Ms. Ma.. @oldfilmsflicker
23K Followers 6K Following ✍️ @ebertvoices @IndieWire Emmy Mag, etc. | 📧 [email protected] | CFCA | creator #Noirvember #AYearWithWomen | writing a book about female directors @ Rizzoli
Amy Schneider @Jeopardamy
138K Followers 85 Following Jeopardy ToC Champion 2022, writer, public speaker “She’s an icon, she’s a legend, and she IS the moment.” -Padma Press: [email protected] Rep: CAA
Matt Binder @MattBinder
159K Followers 689 Following host: https://t.co/MuuVDPKViz & https://t.co/8tcAihCMq5 // video: https://t.co/TH6pyUtFb7 // newsletter: https://t.co/rDJSuSdyBI // reporter: @mashable // @majorityfm thursdays
Bit Theater @BitImprov
57 Followers 194 Following A long-form improv performance and teaching theater in the western suburbs of Chicago. Commit to The Bit.
Mike Fountain @FollowFountain
106 Followers 261 Following *Comedian*Actor*Improviser*Friend* IG/TikTok: @followfountain@IHateMattDrufke Thanks, Matt. It has been my greatest JOY cheerleading for you all these years.
Once I let you into my life, you have the greatest cheerleader for the rest of your days.
Wow Wow! Thank you so much to all my friends and family around the country and here in Green Bay that made this happen. See you tonight at Middle Ground Comedy Festival to celebrate!!!
Wearing masks at protests is a good thing. Downplaying Covid, a disease that has ruined my life and many others future, was a bad idea. I’ve been bedbound for 4 years, and tbh the past 4 months I’ve been declining. It makes me so happy to see medical grade masks at protests.
Marketing is designing, executing, and personally thanking attendees of events you aren't invited to.
I don’t just want Russell Westbrook to get a ring. I want him to get an EGOT.
My grandma casually dropped that she was asked out by both Duke Ellington and Frank Sinatra. She acquiesced to a dance with Frank. Me: omfg what was it like??! Meems: Your Papa is a much better dancer.
My dad once flew on Concorde. "The flight was delayed so that fellow you like played some songs on his guitar. Paul someone. It was awful." Yes my dad attended an impromptu live acoustic session by Paul McCartney in an airport lounge. And he hated it.
Drank my first energy drink in a year or so and now I can feel my heartbeat in my ears I love my thirties
AD: if I sit here long enough then it’s like I won too
Never forget this perfect night of television began with Shaq grabbing Chuck’s head trying to force kale down his throat.
I just farted in a way that I can only describe as surround sound. Wow.
@IHateMattDrufke You look great for having a child that old bud
🥵🥵🥵
‘FURIOSA’ includes a 15-minute action sequence that took 78 days to shoot with almost 200 stunt people working on it everyday. “It’s the longest sequence any of us have ever shot” (Source: tinyurl.com/bdd9fdf6)
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