Fairweather FWB @FairWeatherFWB
Be a friend. Be very very a friend. youtube.com/channel/UCxP7B… United States Joined July 2020-
Tweets312
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Followers26
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Following93
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Likes1K
If we can capture New Car Smell on an air freshener, maybe we can isolate New Baby Smell into a candle, so I can get my mother in law off my fucking back.
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You guys remember that time in 1998, Superman threw Mankind off Hell In A Cell, and plummeted 16 ft through an announcer's table?
Fairweather FWB retweeted
I talk a lot of shit for someone who can swing their feet when sitting on a toilet.
Patchouli-scented DILFs are looking for the goddamn precooked rotisserie chickens in this stupid grocery store near you!
Fairweather FWB retweeted
Can’t believe He-Man’s full name was Herman Mandelbaum.
Can you imagine getting Wile E Coyote’s DoorDash order?
Ever catch yourself absentmindedly doin old lady shit while you’re standing in line at 9:54am waiting for Kohl’s to open? Shoutout to Brenda & Juanita!!
Buttfeed Quiz: Which overlooked Sega CD or 32x game are you?
Fairweather FWB retweeted
Mosquitos never pick me 😔
Fairweather FWB retweeted
Will this be the year I finally learn how to put eye drops in?
Fairweather FWB retweeted
You've heard of Elf on a Shelf. Well get ready for
Fairweather FWB retweeted
My daughter asked me what it's like to be a parent, so I waited for her to go to the bathroom then knocked on the door and asked for a snack.
Fairweather FWB retweeted
me to my dog: no you already had enough food today you'll get fat. also me: [eats 43,000 calories a day]
Fairweather FWB retweeted
Seasons greetings from a home just outside of my hometown in Illinois
Fairweather FWB retweeted
Protip: Change your zoom background to screenshots of other people in the same meeting.
Fairweather FWB retweeted
Fact: Tremors and Dune are the same movie.
Fairweather FWB retweeted
Emperor Nero had a distant cousin named Emperor Faro
Thestar @ThestarOUZ
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Kayla Chow Show @KaylaChowShow
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MeC @mecreature
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Steve 🅰️ Ren🅾... @isthisrashfatal
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🪴ɱąཞı~℘ơʂ... @Bklynboriqua718
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𝕾𝖈𝖔𝖙𝖙 @bgdadyspnkbtm
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GovtTookMaBaby @just_evolved
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Bö Jänke: Hönkÿ @Bob_Janke
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He Called Me Greenhor... @WhatsAGreenhorn
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wicked bitch of the M... @AmandaRNH
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Adam @adamgreattweet
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Terrible Planet Comic... @TerriblePlanet
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The Willo @TheWillOShow
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3K Followers 2K Following at least one new joke a day, and at least one new rock 'n' roll record every four years https://t.co/wmGhPwmaT0
Real Life Mommy @reallifemommy3
31K Followers 3K Following Twitter is cheaper than therapy. Tweets are mine 👀@huffpost @TODAY_Parents @buzzfeed @babycenter @chicagotribune @boredpanda @thepoke @thechive ...
Tales of a Waffle Hou... @AutisticDad23
6K Followers 6K Following My Nanna's Tupperware dishes are insured. https://t.co/vQlU6tmbqj
Kayla Chow Show @KaylaChowShow
47K Followers 15K Following 💙 Survived my mid-mid-life crisis. //SUPER MARRIED//BOY MOM//CATS//TACOS//SUNSCREEN//BEER//MURDERINO//LACTOSE INTOLERANT// 💙
Jurassic Park Updates @JurassicPark2go
356K Followers 11 Following @pjayevans @NotJosephGarcia @rajat_suresh @Colinoscopy @totallymorgan @julieabridged @astonoha @quakerraina @carmchristopher @jayweingarten @dlicj @sarahsquirm
Dammit Erin @DammitErin
8K Followers 3K Following dumps like a truck truck truck thighs like what what what
Little Stevie On The ... @StevieOakley
8K Followers 7K Following I am 40 proof % sure I'm more funny when one of us has been drinking.. Just an old broad living in the Wit Fields of Nebraska 🌊🌊 ☘
Lord Rat Squirt @lordratsquirt
10K Followers 413 Following Screenwriter/co-creator/showrunner for the upcoming TLC series What the F*** is this S***? and Lifetime Network's Pet Waste Makeover. 🇺🇦
Captain Floof @amyenterprise
587 Followers 813 Following possessed cosmic muffin. nightmare reply girl. awkward. vaxed, dork supreme. #BLM, no magats. lamprey is driving this peanut: send help
MeC @mecreature
2K Followers 4K Following I may cry a lot but I'm still a fucking warrior. She/Her 🌊
Steve 🅰️ Ren🅾... @isthisrashfatal
119 Followers 338 Following Aside from the tyranny, poverty, and oppression I don't know why anyone would leave China. The food is fantastic
Persephone Dynamite �... @DreamExplosive
3K Followers 3K Following Space nerd pirate. She/ her. 🏳️🌈 Can't walk and drink at the same time. Loves beer, sleep, and graveyards. Live deliciously.
FRONT TOWARD ENEMY @armyVet1972
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Her Tall Boots @fuzzlime
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Mr Sarcastic @raymondh3h3
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The Notorious B.E.V. ... @blade_funner
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