Mark Hayes @trickaduu
Comedian. Choirboy. Beautiful hair. https://t.co/RCTkPDpHqO markhayes.tv www.instagram.com/themarkhayes Joined October 2008-
Tweets53K
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Followers6K
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Following922
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Likes27K
Shout out to ugly boyfriends and their cheating girlfriends.
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Getting back into stealing, expensive water, plastic bags, your wife.
Guy in the stall next to me just started watching porn, forgot his AirPods weren’t in, scrambled, and one fell into my stall. I’ll miss SF.
Woman wearing a Life Coach University t-shirt is having a meltdown going through TSA.
Everyone downtown in SF walks like they’re hanging over a wall.
San Fran should train their dogs to pick up all the human shit.
More appropriate wedding vows would be if the guy says “I do” and the girl says “You’ll do.
A feminist who isn’t a lesbian is the most tortured soul of them all.
Life is just a scam of always thinking the grass is greener and then we die.
Love how main streets in SF now feel like I’m walking down an alley.
Are people having the sex with hotel power outlets, why are they so loose?
Pretending to love each of Taylor’s 31 new songs just to get some sex 😔
“Can you tell him the story of when you smoked crack in the freezer?” I love SF.
Opening for Gunna at a 4/20 festival in Modesto tomorrow daytime. Swoop along. Finna gunna bomb.
Imagine going to weekend 2 of Coachella, the true sloppy seconds.
Girl said she got an abortion because she’s not in her Mom era. LA is the best.
Regret giving my number to 95% of the people who have it.
Sam Morril @sammorril
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ANDREW SANTINO @CheetoSantino
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Collie Tyrrell @columtyrrell
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Matt Rife @mattrife
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Steve Byrne @stevebyrnelive
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Hollywood Improv @HollywoodImprov
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Erica Rhodes @ericarhodes
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gianmarco @GianmarcoSoresi
64K Followers 7K Following “you miss 100% of the shots you take” -my high school basketball coach
Jessica Kirson @JessicaKirson
71K Followers 3K Following Comedian 🎤 Traveling Clown 🤡 Producer ⭐️ NYC 🗽Follow me on Tik Tok @jessicakirson Follow me on Instagram @jessykirson #alwaysbesilly
Erik Griffin @ErikGriffin
65K Followers 2K Following Host of your favorite podcasts, #TheGoldenHour #Gen2Gen #RiffinWIthGriffin catch me on Twitch #ErikGriffinGaming
Dave Weasel @DaveWeasel
502K Followers 18K Following 5x Billboard comedy chart topper. IG: daveweasel @valleyboyspod "verified since September 2016" don't come at me
Bridget Phetasy @BridgetPhetasy
365K Followers 8K Following Verified nobody. My tribe is tribeless. Find another hero.
duck @Duckroberts2023
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Elon musk @ElonMusk_yl
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oem1oa6f8yb6ah8 @b3bwlx4yfg
12 Followers 889 Following We first transfer USDT to you TRC20, you return 90% to BEP20, you get 10% , 2K per day Our co hv a large amt of USDT need to from TRC20 convert to BEP20 network
Eloc @ElocJokes
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Howdy high @Howdyhigh177481
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James heffren @Heffrenja
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kourtney @kourtneyinhell
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Sean Pennce @PennceSean
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David Hertlein @45cpz4zzgq
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1 @wsxYATCAYT97306
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Kevin McNamara @KevinMcNam15903
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MFF FUND @Agent11_6
201 Followers 3K Following MFF 🌎 are the best when it comes to signals, we do account management we do copy trading and also set up an investment plans for our investors. Join us today.
Nathan Michael GMan @Double_Dubbed
321 Followers 5K Following 208 https://t.co/fiWJDIFqr4? Optimism X Token - Liquidity https://t.co/8pBoZsqaP1
Unspirational Thought.. @Unspirational_X
51 Followers 164 Following Existential dread but in a fun and cool way. Follow for daily UNspiration and other garbage
Jessa Goody @GoodyJessa12993
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Elizabeth Asselin @ElizabethA54771
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Veronica Bravo @Veronica_Brav0
78 Followers 118 Following Aurelio’s Mom * Adrian’s Mom * Alberto’s Wife * Baseball Mom * Football Mom * I 💙 my Boys * I ❤️ Everything Black, Bling & Leopard * Lake Park Librarian *
Charanpreet Singh @CharanSaini0900
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Musiceb @Musiceb214698
822 Followers 5K Following Melody is the thought, movement and soul of music 🎵
Audrey VerMeer @AudreyTwo
190 Followers 1K Following Alpha Squirrel. I'm writing an unauthorized autobiography, so I'm trying to find myself, but to make it interesting, I'm wearing camouflage
Eoin Gleeson @EoinGleeson10
27 Followers 218 Following
Jerry’s Humor @jerryshumor
117 Followers 1K Following Tickling myself while I chew gum & stumble thru my befuddlement, all on the head of a very unstable pin of buffoonery! #jerryshumor #humor #humorinmylife #jokes
Jessica Williams @JessicaWil77728
4 Followers 209 Following
DBriggsJHU @DBriggsJHU
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Don Smith @Donjsmith27
481 Followers 3K Following "Curious Explorer | AI Enthusiast | Navigating the cosmos of knowledge with a touch of humor and a dash of rebellion 🌌🤖💫
Justin @jhook50
979 Followers 4K Following Datacenter Infrastructure Ninja. Reverse Engineer. Problem Solver. $TSLA investor since 2017. VMware VCP-DCV Certified. I LOVE startup cultures!
jen @authenticme84
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MakeMoreMemerys Ⓜ�.. @MakeMorMemorys
505 Followers 5K Following Rock Paper Scissors. Life=Present FOOD, Music, Sports/Competition, Outdoors, Wood, Architecture, Engineering, Business, Crypto, Politics 🌏
Sesackeau @sesackeau39473
172 Followers 2K Following I'm new to Twitter accounts so I tried the messaging feature and it's great to meet you.
CAMERA TTS @cryytopicoin
485 Followers 909 Following Save all the wonderful, cute, sad, happy moments in life in the world
Arslan @stfuarslan
2K Followers 2K Following He/him. Egalitarian, Landay Ka Liberal, Sports Enthusiast, Manchester United fan, INFJ, Cat and a dog Dad. Engaged to Taylor Swift.
Eye2929 @Eye29297000
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MindAstronaut | Amand.. @mindastronaut
417 Followers 2K Following Slow down, the Universe is speaking. #InspiredMind #MindAstronaut
𝕾𝖙𝖊𝖕𝖍�.. @kepsis85
3K Followers 5K Following hello ! I’m a single mother and I have two kids and I work full time. Loves Rock music and loves horror movies and loves to work out ! plus I do love adventure!
Fionnuala Duffin Art @FDuffinart
19 Followers 53 Following Fionnuala is an Irish artist specialising in painting and arts facilitation
Allison silver @silver56326
9 Followers 113 Following Am a good and responsible lady searching for a true love and not fake relationship, though if you are poor or rich am searching for a true love and relationship
Endel Ots @OtsEndel
261 Followers 210 Following
mark normand @marknorm
464K Followers 425 Following New York Comedienne. New hour special "Out To Lunch" on the Youtubes now!! My pod: "Tuesdays with Stories” or “We Might be Drunk” Link 👇👇 Praise Allah!
Tom Segura AKA Mr. La.. @tomsegura
944K Followers 1K Following I have 4 specials on Netflix. podcast here: https://t.co/4uUwz2QOkf You can Merch up here: https://t.co/KaSVm44S8A
bert kreischer @bertkreischer
1.1M Followers 5K Following I am the Machine #RazzleDazzle and #TheMACHINEmovie on Netflix NOW. @drinkporosos #MakeFriends. #TOPSOFFWORLDTOUR and #FULLYLOADEDFESTIVAL are on sale NOW
Sam Morril @sammorril
214K Followers 930 Following Stand-up Comic. Knicks fan. See me in your city: https://t.co/NGdY2cYtXP
ANDREW SANTINO @CheetoSantino
221K Followers 715 Following I’M A COMEDIAN PEEP MY PODCASTS “WHISKEY GINGER” & “BAD FRIENDS”
Shane Gillis @Shanemgillis
449K Followers 831 Following Matt and Shane’s secret podcast : Gilly & Keeves
Brendan Schaub @BrendanSchaub
782K Followers 427 Following Podcast, Whiskey, Big Gulps, and TRX trucks 💨 💨 💨 Tune Town https://t.co/ePorCUeix8
Joe List @JoeListComedy
112K Followers 1K Following I'm a comedian and I have a 3 one hour comedy specials available for free on YouTube. “I Hate Myself” & “This Years Material” & “Enough For Everybody”
Chris Distefano @chrisdcomedy
278K Followers 2K Following My pronouns are Bud/Light https://t.co/DktrqBCBJz
marc maron @marcmaron
880K Followers 507 Following I am a comic, actor, feral cat wrangler, writer & host of WTF the podcast.
Roy Wood Jr- Ex Jedi @roywoodjr
437K Followers 6K Following I tell the truth like white draws. FORMER: @TheDailyShow CURRENT: Social Recluse. FAMU grad reppin 205. Took me 5 yrs to get a 4yr degree, don't take me serious
Tim Dillon @TimJDillon
789K Followers 656 Following Stand up comic. CEO of Fake Business. Podcast: The Tim Dillon Show. LIVE/MERCH LINK ⬇️
Fahim Anwar @fahimanwar
26K Followers 346 Following Standup comedian who sometimes does other stuff.
Doug Stanhope @DougStanhope
378K Followers 599 Following Leader of My Own Free World. Facebook: https://t.co/N5Cq8FQXmv… Instagram: https://t.co/2ORtBo54ww TikTok: https://t.co/N3HawFcKkp
The Blindboy Podcast @bbboatclub
272K Followers 5K Following Run by admin, while Blindboyboatclub is writing his next book and creates his weekly podcast. Tweets by BB #ActuallyAutistic
Curb Your Enthusiasm .. @curb_david
50K Followers 56 Following View the latest news and information about Curb Your Enthusiasm, Larry David's exploits, and upcoming shows. Converse with other loyal fans across the world.
kourtney @kourtneyinhell
11K Followers 471 Following tight personality. perky little wits. mom of the year.
0 days without yankin.. @glutenfreeperc
15K Followers 1K Following As you can see, I’m choppin hella nuts.
♡Lia♡ @actually_lia
20K Followers 723 Following
Erling Haaland @ErlingHaaland
6.3M Followers 10 Following Player for @ManCity and @nff_landslag 🇳🇴 IG: erling.haaland FB: Erling Haaland
Hayden @haydenhighheels
69K Followers 216 Following thanks for bein here ily 🦋 ig: haydenhighheels **MY OF IS NO PPV, full vids posted :)**
Stevo Timothy @SirStevoTimothy
71K Followers 5K Following 🎤 The infamous Farmer Michael 🇮🇪 💪 Over a billion video views! 👑 Enquiries: [email protected] ⬇️⬇️ UK tour 2024 ⬇️⬇️
annie @soychotic
32K Followers 940 Following views are NOT my own . I don’t know who they belong to but they are defjntely NOT MINE!!!
Hanna Dickinson @hansdickie
51K Followers 918 Following Hilarious comedian with daddy issues seeking same.
Lacan sans contexte @Lacan_nocontext
14K Followers 836 Following Remarks whose recreational character must not lead us astray.
rosie @jasminericegirl
301K Followers 1K Following forbes 30 under 30, soup lover, @womenpostingws :) advice, calls, extra content, & soup merch: https://t.co/WgEkV27ehI
michael @bisping
1.0M Followers 1K Following
evil roni @volcelmoment
88K Followers 305 Following not nice but very pretty ˗ˏˋ ★ ˎˊ˗ ig: girlbigfoot
delia @delia_cai
37K Followers 3K Following writer @vanityfair (but they wanna lay me and dozens of colleagues off, but @condeunion is fighting for us 💪) / author of CENTRAL PLACES / deez links 4 life
mae @_maecol
225K Followers 177 Following
Cartoons Hate Her! @CartoonsHateHer
23K Followers 935 Following working on myself (figuring out all the ways I’m better than everyone who has wronged me.) she/her, follows/RTs =/= agreement. please publish my book.
Ken @KenFlores300
1K Followers 419 Following
Eleanor @pimentotoast
4K Followers 370 Following So many people make a name nowadays, that it is more distinguished to remain in obscurity. in natura. English DPhil-ing.
killers of the flower.. @baileymoon96
12K Followers 588 Following they hated jesus because she told the truth
Aesthetic Distance @aesthdistance1
4K Followers 2K Following 🇵🇭 @planamag | I watch a lot of movies.
Sorcha Ní Nia @Luiseach
23K Followers 898 Following sí/í, she/her, it was probably a joke calm down. no LGB without the T 🇮🇪 🏳️🌈 🏳️⚧️ @luiseach.bsky.social @[email protected]
jimmy @jimmyoutsold
66K Followers 2K Following jill roberts apologist • dm for promo • [email protected]
sarah lugor! @sarahlugor
500K Followers 2K Following 23 • musician • content creator • model 🇸🇸 • she/her • press and more in link!
Tadhg @TadhgHickey
138K Followers 4K Following 'Shit at satire' - Graham Linehan. Support my work: Patreon (https://t.co/qApLwzz0yH); Paypal (https://t.co/GvZVdLSR0r) 💚 Contact: [email protected]
Peter McGann @peterjmcgann
26K Followers 1K Following
alexandra @brian_eno_69
11K Followers 264 Followingmy husband is fucking ROASTING me right now for my blue check. he said, and I quote, "you pay that man a cent, you deserve public, town square humiliation" this is worse than 9/11
Hardest I’ve laughed in weeks.
Ate 5 pieces of cheese for breakfast like a cute little rat person
Only the real snackers are up snacking rn
having a crush on someone states away that you’ve never met is actually really healthy, you really get to put your mind to work with that imagination & fake scenarios like yes stimulate those cognitive functions baby!
When people say don’t protest it’s like whoa who is paying you to say that
People tend to think of classics as being “boring,” but we wouldn’t keep reading them for hundreds of years if we didn’t love them. Let me introduce you to some FUN classics:
Yesterday, Rome turned 2,777 years old. You know the Colosseum already — so these are its lesser-known wonders... 🧵 1. Andrea Pozzo's "3D" ceiling:
My husband ruins everything I’ll be like “my p**** is wet” in broad daylight just to try and distract him and he’ll say some stupid shit back like “mine too” 😐
I’m sorry I can’t go out later, I have too many Instagram stories to watch
going on a run to a soundtrack of canceled musicians
i love san francisco real estate. tonight i am touring a $3,000/month loft with a wine cooler instead of a refrigerator
Once Upon A Time At The Hollywood Bowl 🎬
Only through the embrace of one’s inner cringe will one reach basedlightenment
nvr ask a woman her age a man his salary or a major global brand ab its origination in 1941 germany
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