Joanna Borns @robotics
Writer / Producer. [email protected] linktr.ee/jborns New York City Joined June 2008-
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Came back to this godforsaken place just to say earthquake
Is the dress rehearsal for my adult ballet recital the right place to start eating a chicken enchilada burrito from Taco Bell
Spotify just informed me that at this time of day, I typically listen to music "from the 1900s."
Don't get me wrong, I'm laughing at the memes but did gen Z JUST discover George W Bush?
The biggest red flag on my mental health is I'm cooking bagel bites in the oven instead of the microwave because I want it to feel special??????
This is a very important guide to nyc that I wrote with @ErinChack for @PointsinCase pointsincase.com/articles/a-rea…
Listening to Celine Dion's "It's All Coming Back to Me Now" did infinitely more for my depression than an hour at the gym. (To be fair it's about the same length of time)
Ever since 2005, the year numbers have seemed too high. 2024? No. I don't think so.
"Why did you look at that? Don't you people have families?" - me having zero respect for anyone who views my instagram stories
Someone in the grocery store just screamed "Mike, don't ruin my Christmas!"
Is there anything a straight man loves more than a thumbs up emoji?
Going to the hair salon makes me feel like I finally know what it feels like to be a rich person's dog.
I thought my mental health had improved this year but my spotify wrapped begs to differ
I guess things have changed. When I was in highschool, "aesthetic" was a word only a nerd would use.
I love when a stranger says "bless you" but in an angry tone
Slipping the DJ at the roller rink a $20 to stop playing Justin Timberlake.
Sometimes you just need to eat a salad in a Midwestern way.
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danielle weisberg for.. @danielleweisber
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ellie schnitt! @holy_schnitt
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West Lafayette, IN @WestLafayetteIN
7K Followers 281 Following Home of Purdue! Come for a Big Ten event, a degree, or a delicious meal. Stay for the community. #WestLafayetteInd #WestLafayette
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25K Followers 2K Following backup for @thewapplehouse•𝓐lways 𝓒arry 𝓐 𝓑ible•America’s stepdad•listen to @jortscenterpod•head of Trust and Safety at @twitter
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man it’s a hot zone.. @Mobute
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I think you should le.. @ITYSL
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Hell Gate *subscribe .. @HellGateNY
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conntent mcnett @conner_mcnutt
3K Followers 648 Following wake up, hit the toilet & I'm Farter McButt. I log in & I'm Conntent McNett. I'm on stage & im Bomber McRutt. I get in bed & im Cummin MyNut
Madison Malone Kirche.. @4evrmalone
22K Followers 2K Following Reporter @nytimes. Formerly: @ICYMI_Pod @Slate @nymag. Tweets delete monthly. (she/her)
jami attenberg @jamiattenberg
44K Followers 988 Following 7 books of fiction + 1 memoir + 1 creativity book. A REASON TO SEE YOU AGAIN out 9/24. 1000 WORDS OF SUMMER June 1-14! https://t.co/kImB15YqT0
I don’t know who needs to hear this, but do not get a dog if you don’t like talking to white people.
We all briefly assumed our apartment buildings were collapsing right.
i’m built different (didn’t notice the earthquake was happening)
NYC gatekeepers don't want you to know any of this
This is a very important guide to nyc that I wrote with @ErinChack for @PointsinCase pointsincase.com/articles/a-rea…
so apparently it’s still a dui even if youre the birthday boy
Every visit with in-laws is like, here let's eat four meals a day then take full body length photos in bad lighting after a final huge expensive meal
@robotics That song lasts 🎶 "Foooooooooor eeeeeeeeeever......." 🎶
[on a date] GUY: so…how are you? ME: *remembering how hot girls online are always saying “my tummy hurts”* i have diarrhea
when you all talk about having rizz, this is what i picture
can’t think of anything more boring than heaping praise on the most image-obsessed, oversaturated celebrity whose artistic output has been consistently devolving for years and letting her position herself as the victim of a cultural narrative that has long since been disproven
Backstreet Boys don’t care who I am? Or what I’ve done??? Have some self respect
What’s the word for being able to do a really good Marge Simpson impression but only when singing the Farmer’s Insurance commercial
One of the worst feelings has to be looking up and realizing that you’re in an establishing shot of a folk horror movie
*pulling my teeth out one by one* he loves me… he loves me not… he loves me… he loves me not… he loves me…
Man, YouTube shorts suck so bad. I understand you gotta make em now, but they're like my whole feed and I don't wanna watch that shit
idk what kiss & ride means (especially in a train station) but I’m about to find out what these horny Italians are up to
He is so sex and the city for this
swifties r just juggaloes who grew up in a two parent home
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