Micheal Maybe @MichealElliott
Ordained Beach Bum with stage 4 pancreatic cancer, living the dream with my wife, our revolutionary 7 yr old daughter + a clingy Dalmatian. Twitter.com/search?q=:from… Joined May 2009-
Tweets30K
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Followers1K
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Following985
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Likes48K
(buzz) let’s go recreational cannibalism for 1000, Alex (burp)
They said I could be anything so I became a intolerable
Not bragging but even with this much cancer, people tell me how good I look.
It's everything I never wished for.
stuck in traffic so long, i started a new life in my car. we're now a small village with an economy based on honking
Can't. Having an argument in my head
The upside of doing cocaine, I found out my neighbors garden gnome is a good listener.
CURRENT SITUATION: I'm high as the net worth of the Catholic Church at the Blessing of the Fleet, getting drunk on free mimosas. In other words, life is fucking good.
You can’t find happiness in another person but you can find it in potatoes
We are counting on you, don’t mess it up
"Dad, do they grow beer in a beer garden?" Che's (7) asks and I love being a Dad.
Omg, you guys, the Jehovah's Witnesses just showed up at my door, and I guess I've been living alone for too long because I talked so much they finally had to excuse themselves.
Well, I just ate me another “two three dollar fund raising money for school” crap chocolate bars……
It's a bullish market. Go for the veal.
unintelligent people think my sense of humor is passive aggressive.
To quote me ... [DRAMATIC PAUSE] ... would be a mistake.
At McDonalds looking at the menu through opera binoculars.
I hope the person that just unfollowed me stubs a toe
"Daddy, come snuggle with me!" she calls. So I am. How'd your day start?
Wendy @WJGCapeCod
1K Followers 2K Following Former International Ops Director/ VOTE!/ 🌴 🌞 🏊 🌅 💪🎶 ✈📷 ☕🍺 🍬💝🍸 🏠 🏈 🏀 ⚾🏒 😎 he's going to lose AGAIN We're living the dream on Cape Cod𝙏𝙬𝙚𝙚𝙩�.. @blaesilla
566 Followers 372 Following 𝕎𝕖𝕝𝕔𝕠𝕞𝕖!🎻I'm LEILA. interests: metaphysics. LAW.epistemology,existentialism,astrology,astronomy,psychology,art,spirituality,...etc. Something else.Kimber Depp™© @truegemini13
7K Followers 6K Following uniquE, esoteric, eclectic; and a decent vocabulary...tho' redundant. #teamgemini #teamlight 21+ NO DM's!!!! Profile picture is 10 yrs old!Eric in the 21.24th C.. @ejt___
8K Followers 4K Following Retweets are endorsements that the joke was funny. https://t.co/HmMfC14tzIPeter Stubbs @PeterSt69301444
581 Followers 2K Following Not a lot to report. Sophomoric humor. Unwarranted self-importance. Single father of a now-teenager. Occasional photography and/or art. He/him/“Hey! Moron!” PNWFunny Snarky Humor @FUNNYsnarkyJOKE
9K Followers 2K Following I like 2 make light of things 2 brighten up a dark world. #funny #humor #satire #snarky #memes #humour #hilariousJen Russon @JenniferRusson
5K Followers 5K Following I publish books by talented indie authors at Swallow Publishing, LLC. I'm also a high school English teacher.Matty @bestestname
13K Followers 6K Following Twitter is easy. You just have to be funny all the time or no one will love you.Laura Smith @lrs_smith
331 Followers 2K Following Interior Designer, Phoenix Suns Fan, Recovering English Major, etc.Jacque @Jacque19021
2K Followers 2K Following Red blooded 🩸Proud American 🇺🇸 woman 🙎🏻♀️ American Sign Language 🤟🏻 Musical 🎶 Midwest 🌽 Christian ✝️𝕬𝖚𝖗𝖊𝖑�.. @toebr0gan
874 Followers 845 Following He thrusts his fists against the posts and still insists he sees the ghostslivingStone @dramasoe9
1K Followers 7K Following Darkness cannot drive out darkness: only light can do that. Hate cannot drive out hate: only love can do that.Indigo ☾*✲⋆. @indigosu73
6K Followers 3K Following When you grow up, your heart dies 🥂🎶☀️💚 🌙⭐️🦇⭐️ #nuralledrei 🦄 🌈https://t.co/fvvdHsuQDZcfMC FEROX @cfmceroz1
1K Followers 4K Following The Font In The Forever Channel @FontForever Palimpsest LoverJudith Vee @doctor_veee
348 Followers 808 Following Sometimes it takes only an act of kindness and care to change someone's life #maga #fuckBiden #studentloan #employeeengagement #recuiterMixtyMotions 🥃🎶.. @iamnotchjohnson
4K Followers 3K Following 'Have you been an asshole your whole life?' Not yet.fancy nancy @dontstartmeup
12 Followers 48 Following writing crap on an app ♡ https://t.co/p19ifzzB6r 🗝️Mark In SoCal @mlzema
21K Followers 19K Following An X Account About Nothing|Social Media UNfluencer|Your Daily Dose Of Nonsense|#TwitterSupperClub|#Photography|#Martini|#Cigar|#Magic|🇮🇹|♊️Shay Jacobs @shaylynnae_
2K Followers 5K Following 💘 https://t.co/eJTA889Tv7💘 https://t.co/RxzzNHxHSOheileyRose @Heiley40
87 Followers 753 Following content creator🥰🍌DMS 4 BUYERS ONLY‼️ meetup! custom videos! girlfriend package! facetime! lotsbear poubeau 🍁 @bearpoubeau
11K Followers 12K Following #WomeninSTEM •Democracy is not a spectator sport • We must cultivate our own garden • #NoPlanetB🌎 • GenX • #GreatLakes • #Greenbelt #Ally🌈 #BLM 🍁 👠Michelle says "Dance .. @RageMichelle
41K Followers 41K Following I am the short, female, old, Samuel L Jackson of Twitter. Only not rich or famous. Also, I can't act. I'm just good at saying motherfucker.SARA ADAMS: BS Psycho.. @AdamsSara8000
122 Followers 691 Following -I am the ADHD/CRPS -MeganFox's #2 Supergay -owner of 2 words in Urban Dictionary -90's music savant -Jones Soda kind of famous: on 36 bottlesKristi McConnell ツ�.. @krispykremie5
3K Followers 3K Following Accountant | Music Lover | #UsherSyndrome👩🦯| #MitoWarrior | Jalen Ramsey #5 ♡ | #ForeverNE | Always BELIEVE!! Proverbs 16:9 ✝✝ 🙏 #GiiC♡ Eve ♡ @evecullen610
29K Followers 9K Following gently, touch me with your words (my tweets...my words)© •she/her• #oneforeverMichael Trieger @DaddyMtrieger
1K Followers 2K Following Clinical Psychologist, devoted husband and father of four amazing kids. Democrat for life. Motorcycling is my other happy place.XRPLion1 -(BACKUP ACC.. @LionDavid21634
3K Followers 3K Following son of the Most High Living God,cousin w/WD GANN: Sacred Math RSR 37 yrs,Philomath,14th Gen Am. Chairman &founder,Humanitarian Trust Compliance Services™Owen Porter @Owesortxer81
1K Followers 4K Following To love and be loved is to feel the sun from both sides.Race The Favorite �.. @AwesomeRacex
800 Followers 2K Following Higher and Better. This is a creating world not a created one. Eternal Flame . ( She/ Her ) https://t.co/B5HKWYpf6wJoy @bluepacifica
2K Followers 3K Following Retired teacher. Democrat, liberal wing! Married and living on Kauai. Originally from Massapequa, L.I.,, NY. Will block trumpers. Resist!🌊🏝️🤙☮️Jim @baleguy
1K Followers 5K Following Just watching the good, the bad and the ugly from my little corner of the planet. No DM'S Married.Divyesh Thacker @divyeshmthaker
454 Followers 4K FollowingDarlene Smith @DSmith9130
2K Followers 3K Following Do not go gentle into that good night. Rage, rage against the dying of the light. - Dylan ThomasSarah Everett @goddammitsarah
11K Followers 1K Following digital sorceress ⚡ does anyone know how to curse a real swordAnne MGR @odilianemonteus
211 Followers 360 Following Where is my hero ? I living in Boston, Fluent in kindness and sassiness. I’m not bossy; i’m the bossJuan Kenneth @Kennet59164Juan
523 Followers 6K FollowingElon Musk @Elonmusk8313
15 Followers 486 Following Elon Musk 🍁🇨🇦🇺🇸🍁 🚀 Space x 👉Founder (Reached to Mars 🔴) 💲PayPal https://t.co/QJ12Wkoj43 👉 Founder 🚗Tesla 👉 CEO 🛰Starlink 👉 Founder 🧠Neuralink 👉 FoundeSloppy Joe Biden 🏳.. @SenileOldJoe
3K Followers 5K Following 46th and oldest President of the United States Of America 🇺🇦 Parody* Now where did I put my Joementia pills… 💊 #SloppyTakes #DementiaWave #MAGAWendy @WJGCapeCod
1K Followers 2K Following Former International Ops Director/ VOTE!/ 🌴 🌞 🏊 🌅 💪🎶 ✈📷 ☕🍺 🍬💝🍸 🏠 🏈 🏀 ⚾🏒 😎 he's going to lose AGAIN We're living the dream on Cape CodCanary @GratefulDead74
121 Followers 354 Following The most remarkable discovery in all of astronomy is that the stars are made of atoms of the same kind as those on the earth.𝙏𝙬𝙚𝙚𝙩�.. @blaesilla
566 Followers 372 Following 𝕎𝕖𝕝𝕔𝕠𝕞𝕖!🎻I'm LEILA. interests: metaphysics. LAW.epistemology,existentialism,astrology,astronomy,psychology,art,spirituality,...etc. Something else.Kimber Depp™© @truegemini13
7K Followers 6K Following uniquE, esoteric, eclectic; and a decent vocabulary...tho' redundant. #teamgemini #teamlight 21+ NO DM's!!!! Profile picture is 10 yrs old!Funny Snarky Humor @FUNNYsnarkyJOKE
9K Followers 2K Following I like 2 make light of things 2 brighten up a dark world. #funny #humor #satire #snarky #memes #humour #hilariousPeter Stubbs @PeterSt69301444
581 Followers 2K Following Not a lot to report. Sophomoric humor. Unwarranted self-importance. Single father of a now-teenager. Occasional photography and/or art. He/him/“Hey! Moron!” PNWEric in the 21.24th C.. @ejt___
8K Followers 4K Following Retweets are endorsements that the joke was funny. https://t.co/HmMfC14tzIbananafanafofisa @lisaxy424
23K Followers 2K Following My mind is the live studio audience forced to think I'm hilarious...forever. I’m mediocre at ukulele but very good at crying. Birds are my new thing. she/herJen Russon @JenniferRusson
5K Followers 5K Following I publish books by talented indie authors at Swallow Publishing, LLC. I'm also a high school English teacher.Paul @Grommit56
12K Followers 7K Following My dogs, golf, work, general stupidity. Same @ everywhere https://t.co/AJUSJolsUNLaura Smith @lrs_smith
331 Followers 2K Following Interior Designer, Phoenix Suns Fan, Recovering English Major, etc.Jacque @Jacque19021
2K Followers 2K Following Red blooded 🩸Proud American 🇺🇸 woman 🙎🏻♀️ American Sign Language 🤟🏻 Musical 🎶 Midwest 🌽 Christian ✝️𝕬𝖚𝖗𝖊𝖑�.. @toebr0gan
874 Followers 845 Following He thrusts his fists against the posts and still insists he sees the ghostscfMC FEROX @cfmceroz1
1K Followers 4K Following The Font In The Forever Channel @FontForever Palimpsest LoverJediMasster7 @aster7_m
14K Followers 4K Following Sarcastic Bostonian -Wanna be Jedi Knight - self deprecating, awkward, a tad broken, poetic, beach lover. Recovering from myself ✨tenaciousB @justB_happyOK
2K Followers 1K Following Here to offer friendly banter and mediocre tweets... Don’t be a douchebag, and we’ll get along finefancy nancy @dontstartmeup
12 Followers 48 Following writing crap on an app ♡ https://t.co/p19ifzzB6r 🗝️𝓋𝒶𝓁𝑒𝓇�.. @_ardent_love_
487 Followers 478 Following lovergirl • survivor • gypsy mystic • wildfire + sunlight birthed in my veins • bird-hearted lioness • kitteny • ☉♌︎ ☽♋︎ ↑♍︎ ♡♋︎ • formerly @ardentreflexionMixtyMotions 🥃🎶.. @iamnotchjohnson
4K Followers 3K Following 'Have you been an asshole your whole life?' Not yet.LaLaLyds @LaLa_Lyds
19K Followers 4K Following nostalgic for last week's tuna sandwich. knock it off.Mark In SoCal @mlzema
21K Followers 19K Following An X Account About Nothing|Social Media UNfluencer|Your Daily Dose Of Nonsense|#TwitterSupperClub|#Photography|#Martini|#Cigar|#Magic|🇮🇹|♊️bear poubeau 🍁 @bearpoubeau
11K Followers 12K Following #WomeninSTEM •Democracy is not a spectator sport • We must cultivate our own garden • #NoPlanetB🌎 • GenX • #GreatLakes • #Greenbelt #Ally🌈 #BLM 🍁 👠SARA ADAMS: BS Psycho.. @AdamsSara8000
122 Followers 691 Following -I am the ADHD/CRPS -MeganFox's #2 Supergay -owner of 2 words in Urban Dictionary -90's music savant -Jones Soda kind of famous: on 36 bottlesKristi McConnell ツ�.. @krispykremie5
3K Followers 3K Following Accountant | Music Lover | #UsherSyndrome👩🦯| #MitoWarrior | Jalen Ramsey #5 ♡ | #ForeverNE | Always BELIEVE!! Proverbs 16:9 ✝✝ 🙏 #GiiCMargot Maddison-MacFa.. @M_M_MacFadyen
1K Followers 2K Following ❤️ Nature, and great engineering. Oldling. Done with winter. Mudscutcheon. 🐝🌳🌲🌷Jennifer Parker @Mrs_JParker
929 Followers 653 Following Making two tiny humans laugh one fart joke at a time.Joy @bluepacifica
2K Followers 3K Following Retired teacher. Democrat, liberal wing! Married and living on Kauai. Originally from Massapequa, L.I.,, NY. Will block trumpers. Resist!🌊🏝️🤙☮️Jim @baleguy
1K Followers 5K Following Just watching the good, the bad and the ugly from my little corner of the planet. No DM'S Married.Divyesh Thacker @divyeshmthaker
454 Followers 4K Followingtheweirdone @sthrnnightmare2
610 Followers 100 Following Formerly @sthrnnightmare. I'm still an idiot.Darlene Smith @DSmith9130
2K Followers 3K Following Do not go gentle into that good night. Rage, rage against the dying of the light. - Dylan ThomasSarah Everett @goddammitsarah
11K Followers 1K Following digital sorceress ⚡ does anyone know how to curse a real swordAnne MGR @odilianemonteus
211 Followers 360 Following Where is my hero ? I living in Boston, Fluent in kindness and sassiness. I’m not bossy; i’m the bossStinky Think Tank @stinkythinktank
4K Followers 5K FollowingShrek but Irish @IamPhartacus
2K Followers 1K Following am I Phartacus or am I bravely pretending to be Phartacus? you get the idea. we have fun hereDeeny (they/them) @councilofDeen
2K Followers 697 Following ⚜ J'emmerde la loi 96 ⚜| hot and autistic |SwEr and artist | OF https://t.co/LQc51nxJ0OSloppy Joe Biden 🏳.. @SenileOldJoe
3K Followers 5K Following 46th and oldest President of the United States Of America 🇺🇦 Parody* Now where did I put my Joementia pills… 💊 #SloppyTakes #DementiaWave #MAGABella DuBois @gusandbella
2K Followers 2K Following Atrophy Wife. Non Influencer. Cranky Day Drinker. Sarcastic Asshole and Bullshit Artist. Rescue Animals 🐈🐕🦺.@MichealElliott Probably @ChefCurmudgeony
(buzz) let’s go recreational cannibalism for 1000, Alex (burp)
My 15 mins of fame is actually 8 mins & 34 seconds.
@MichealElliott you're pretty tolerable yourself 🤣
They said I could be anything so I became a intolerable
@MichealElliott Looking great Micheal, like a king of beach bum you are x love this ❤️
You say Beer:30 like it's a good thing; Wouldn't Beer:15, or just Beer:00, be better?
@MichealElliott @AmysGotBirds Did we have the same grandfather? He tried so hard to convert them to Baptists that they started crossing the street the block before and wouldn't even walk in front of his house.
@MichealElliott You are just a natural beauty.
My son & his band Jodal Bravo covering Khruangbin today at the Thai Lao Food Fair in Murfreesboro
When I got to America in a couple weeks, the first thing I’ll probably do is hit up a T.J. Maxx
Some of you could do with a good bit of solid Lutheran discipline.