Fergus Craig @FergusCraig
Actor writer comedy person. Rep: Curtis Brown. New book now... https://t.co/Hep21eic32 geni.us/MurdererRetire… The people's hearts Joined March 2009-
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Just finished a first draft of another one of my silly little books. Can’t tell you what this one is yet. Bags of work to do, but tonight I will celebrate the same way Jane Austen did on nights like these: with a pint of beer and Mike Atherton’s 2002 autobiography ‘Opening Up’
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ATTENTION! For the month of June, I'm Not the Only Murderer in My Retirement Home is available on kindle for the low, low price of 99p. And by the looks of it, with the new paperback cover too!
Fergus Craig retweeted
One of the best books of the year, for less than a quid!
In court the foreman of the jury should be able to announce the verdict as 'We find the defendant not guilty but we've seen them given.'
Penalty shootouts haven't been the same since they started using the straight on camera angle.
Not sure I can imagine anything more stressful than Arteta shouting at me before I have to take an important penalty.
@FBAwayDays Why not credit @HLTCO ? Or better still, just retweet him?
@AJg87652993 Nothing on the red button. Wow.
If I've understood it correctly, I can't watch the Newcastle game on Sky plus because I don't have a smart tv. Only pay about £100 a month. Livid. Thanks Keir Starmer.
I say from now on they should do a guard of honour every single time a player is subbed.
@LOSC_Kampioen Chuck a few more flags in your profile and I’ll reply.
@Taity813112 But I'm not a pilgrim! See, I can miss jokes too.
Seriously lovely review for I’m Not The Only Murderer In My Retirement Home in The Australian. I may have to walk there to say thank you.
@saintlymark It’s not. That bit was a joke.
Problem’s been solved now which sadly means I have to go through the absolutely horrific experience of watching Newcastle United play football.
Feels like none of you are as furious about this as I am. At first I didn't stand up for the Sky HD digi box users who support a team not featured on the main channels...
@ChrisFergy Because sorting out my personal issues with Sky Sports plus should have been his number one priority in government from day one.
@Mr_DanJackson Now I get to watch this wonderfully entertaining team!
Blocked me which means I’m unable to ask if he’s standing up for Sky or genuinely thought I was blaming Starmer. Good to see I’m still making friends!
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