alistair green @mralistairgreen
Too stressed to be blessed 💕 instagram.com/mralistairgreen London Joined August 2012-
Tweets9K
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Followers158K
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Following2K
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Likes13K
man in cafe who wants everyone to know he’s a singer-songwriter
I’ve never enjoyed any restaurant meal as much as a basic curry house.
Ran the London marathon this morning. 22 minutes and 3 seconds. Not my best time and certainly would have liked to do better but not going to beat myself over it. Still a huge achievement and I can hold my head high. Cheers. 👍🏆
The moon will only play silly buggers and block out the sun if it knows it has an audience. And you daft so and so’s are playing right in to its hands. Starve it of the attention it craves and it will soon get bored and go back to its rightful place.
I was actually offered the role of ‘conor mcgregor’ in the new road house film but I turned it down. I’ll always have love for action films and it is after all how I made my name but I feel its time for me to move on and spread my wings now. Just wanted to clear that up 👍
Think about what day it is 😂😉👍😜😜
Think about what day it is 😂😉👍😜😜
Yeh I’m turning the clocks back- TO 400,000BC WHEN THIS COUNTRY HAD SOME BOLLOCKS 🇬🇧* *before we became woke homo sapiens
Always wondered when I’d turn up in one of my own videos
Always wondered when I’d turn up in one of my own videos https://t.co/SofG14QIM6
Josh Pugh @JoshPughComic
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5K Followers 3K Following Comedy actory musicy person • WINNER @2Northdown & @musicalcomedyuk “An explosion of joyful lunacy"(ShortList) • DiscoBall • Idiot • she/her • Rep’d by @cmmgt@mralistairgreen If you're ever in Aldershot give Johnny Ghurkas a try👍
@mralistairgreen ‘You’re busy tonight. Well done you’
@mralistairgreen I once had a roast dinner for lunch in a pub and a curry for dinner that evening in a curry house. Best day of my life.
@mralistairgreen Great curry house in Cardiff called Standard Balti
@NeilMackay It’s an @mralistairgreen world, we’re all just living in it
Another huge victory for Alistair. Typically, the MSM are remaining deafingly quiet on this.
Ran the London marathon this morning. 22 minutes and 3 seconds. Not my best time and certainly would have liked to do better but not going to beat myself over it. Still a huge achievement and I can hold my head high. Cheers. 👍🏆
@mralistairgreen guess what the Delhi- Heathrow flight was showing ? Couldn't believe my luck..
POV: you're on your deathbed and catch a faint whiff of marmalade sandwiches...
At the end of the day, everyone in showbiz is a cunt.
The extracts from Ten Years to Save The West are next level. This, from the night of the catastrophic fracking vote, is something else.
@mralistairgreen Yes I should hope so, Paddington and even Mr Simpson would be turning in their graves at the very thought of it
@mralistairgreen 99 flake for ma’am. She’s worth it