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Tweets5K
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Followers99
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Following1K
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Likes31K
Yes, you live in a simulation. But you’re also a real guy. And the simulation is only running so we can examine your depressing and shameful inner life. Everyone here in the real world is laughing at you
Single guys live comfy spending under 30k/yr in basically any city barring LA SF NYC etc, but the instant they get a girlfriend 100k feels impoverished. Add in kids and you're clipping coupons at 250k EVEN AFTER your girl agrees to quit her weekly accupuncture and hot yoga…
Single guys live comfy spending under 30k/yr in basically any city barring LA SF NYC etc, but the instant they get a girlfriend 100k feels impoverished. Add in kids and you're clipping coupons at 250k EVEN AFTER your girl agrees to quit her weekly accupuncture and hot yoga…
Go ahead. Post another asylum I wouldn’t last an hour in. Tell me to look between two fuckin letters on my keyboard. Come up with a woke way to call me antisemitic for being against police violence. Call me gay for having straight sex.
floating flaming skulls are always flying towards people. honestly, if i saw a burning skull flying in front of me and it didn't zoom towards my vision, i'd freak the fuck out
went to buy cigarettes and the guy behind the counter looked at my ID and said “oh youre from the 1900’s, u good” HUH??? 💀💀💀
Periodic reminder to check to see if your acquaintances have been possessed by using Kitsune no Mado 狐の窓 "Fox Window" Bend your fingers as shown and look through the hole. This will eliminate any magic and you will see a person's true form (human or fox-disguised-as-human)
People always ask me what accounts for my serenity. They say, Abby, your spirit is like a still pond topped with scum that hasn't been disturbed in yonks. To what do you owe your sense of inner peace? The answer is simple. I pretend that I am the rat off the Ninja Turtles.
[as I drop a 2000 pound bomb on a hospital] protesters of this have gone too far
Arguing with strangers on the internet is like yelling at a parking meter. I mean, I still do it sometimes, but nobody wins.
George Santos
hot gamer tip! all fountain drinks at fast food restaurants are free. just dig through their trash when no one's looking and fish out an empty cup with your filthy fucking hands. they can't get mad at you if you're using one of their cups, probably.
it sucks to suck and know that your parents suck and that you didn't even grow up as poor as you thought you did and not have any sort of defense mechanism against being mediocre but i think we shouldn't steal away autism when narcissism is right there on a silver platter.
where is this like tutorial press X to jump part of life these guys keep talking about. Starter jobs starter homes starter apartment. Average cost of a home in US is about half a million. Median for an existing home is about 400k after closing fees etc. press B to kiss my balls.
where is this like tutorial press X to jump part of life these guys keep talking about. Starter jobs starter homes starter apartment. Average cost of a home in US is about half a million. Median for an existing home is about 400k after closing fees etc. press B to kiss my balls.
🍻🍻🍻🍻🍻🍻
🍻🍻🍻🍻🍻🍻 https://t.co/FzrvCQ0VyQ
Biden suggests uncle eaten by ‘cannibals’ in New Guinea — but military says his WWII plane lost at sea trib.al/yn9MiHH
Grown up sized white baby I’m friends with: The way I be drinking this damn apple juice…ooh chile😂 Me: You can’t be talking like that White Baby.
Cant wait to have kids & show them the games I played as a youth. Like “assassins vs warlocks” which consisted of all the other kids beating me ‘til I was unconscious. I was the warlock, you see, and tho my powers were meager I was still responsible for all the woes in my village
🔥 tip for unforgettable 1st impression: Always carry a measuring tape. When first meeting a pretty lady, immediately whip it out and begin taking her measurements- height, shoulder+hip width, etc-be thorough- when inevitably asked wtf you’re doing, mumble “ordering a dog crate”.
𝐖𝐈𝐂𝐊𝐄�.. @STIHILIST
303 Followers 0 Following ＪＱＤ m.v.d. 💙 https://t.co/FipSWPoTQN "Haunting beauty." — Time Out Los Angeles "The voice of now." — Ronald J. Christ
MicaJennie @JennieMica49148
61 Followers 2K Following
Scarlet Martina @ScarletMar23876
2 Followers 434 Following I OFFER QUALITY SEX MEETUP AND MASSAGE SERVICES WITH GREAT HYGIENE 🍑💦AT AFFORDABLE PRICES 👅🍆
Shelby @shelby_mccann48
139 Followers 3K Following
Romie Romak @RomieRomak
1K Followers 3K Following niche pop chanteuse, draglesque comic, retro game antiquarian, meteor hammer femme fatale, 🧛🏼♀️ - she/her 🏳️⚧️ PRESAVE nu single RESPECTABLE THINGS 4/25
Barbi 🌼 @tsadea66042329
29 Followers 2K Following Post-Op Trans girl 🏳️⚧️ princess with a twist follow my main @pradabarbix
Hillary ❤️ @tshila80875914
17 Followers 2K Following trans girl 🏳️⚧️ not active here, follow @hillary_ts
Shannon @dear_shannon84
974 Followers 3K Following
Laurie Lowry @laurie_low88891
123 Followers 3K Following
America Romero @AmericaRom37435
98 Followers 3K Following
Felicia @nash87felicia
176 Followers 3K Following
J @mokeymokes
217 Followers 572 Following
Jennifer Morgan @morgan_jen9304
132 Followers 3K Following
Christina @graczyk_christi
166 Followers 3K Following
Reverend Doctor Bob S.. @RevDocBobSac
5K Followers 3K Following hooting and hollering about nothing- expert in bird law; never forget (unless you do, that’s chill too)
Missy 🌸 @Missytrans3208
58 Followers 3K Following trans girl 🏳️⚧️ private account 🤗 follow my main @transmissy
Carissa Pierre @carissa_pi67572
121 Followers 3K Following
Chapo Trap Mode Aesth.. @thetuxredux
306 Followers 1K Following Furry Community Affiliate 摆烂模式 I get in arguments with strangers online
Barbra @barbrapeter19
147 Followers 3K Following
Mavis McAlpine @MavisMcalpine
2K Followers 3K Following
Reina @Luna83222145443
32 Followers 188 Following Seeking respect, not attention, because it lasts longer.
Bukin @Bukin88599
15 Followers 111 Following
Kiaira 🌙 @Kiki1411219853
95 Followers 1K Following I like cuddles Backup account, follow main @Kiki_morand
Kiki 💥 @cuddlek46952414
205 Followers 4K Following Natural blondie Backup account, follow main @Kiki_morand
SHITTER ASS @SHlTTERASS
2K Followers 2K Following RIP PlSSERDlCK 2022 FOUNDER OF A NATION 1,000,000,000 POSTERS
DH @FaitAccompli92
63 Followers 5K Following
mickdonal cheeseboing.. @johnwickbooth
16 Followers 380 Following
critical urbanism @criticalurban
2K Followers 1K Following I'm a city dweller critically addressing the myths and fallacies of the urbansist movement. Feel free to disagree with me. That's what free expression is about.
PlantBasedBot @PlantBasedBot
989 Followers 4K Following
Flying Chicken Fella�.. @loutrebrule
5K Followers 5K Following #NAFO Special Janitorial Forces. Bonk a fascist today. IT. OSINT curious. Bassist. Stands with Ukraine and Europe. Coffee addict. Je parle aussi français.
shanley @shanley
8K Followers 636 Following Rightful queen of Silicon Valley. Material analysis of technology and venture capital.
tammye72 @tammye721
1 Followers 10 Following
J.T. Maximus (He/Him/.. @stuntman760
515 Followers 1K Following -No Political Affiliation -Transportation Specialist -Residential Planner -Hate Yimbys -Hate Nimbys
Lena @wilson_lena15
1K Followers 4K Following
ALAIA @alaia3159z
1K Followers 4K Following 👇👇 I am looking new friends, please private chat with me ⬇⬇
Caroline @Carolin77056751
149 Followers 1K Following I like a man who can make business with me together and who can together walk in a successful way .
ellexander supertramp @ElleHa
3K Followers 753 Following Sun Sign: Leticia Bufoni ✨ Moon Sign: Monster Energy 🌶️ Rising Sign: Bob Burnquist 🤙
who, me? @le_post_enjoyer
2K Followers 2K Following | Johar | Bionicle Nationalist™ | do not interact if you like Galidor or Hero Factory | he/him |
Hector Resendez @FiveBurritos
560 Followers 738 Following Aspiring failed actor/comedian, eventual 9-5er, hopelessly optimistic, extroverted AF. follow me in IG @fiveburritos cuz I’m on there more
Saikou jarju @badjie233
305 Followers 4K Following Be humble and positive and kindness and be honest 🤩🤩
🔎Al🔍 @SweatieAngle
29K Followers 5K Following Expert consultant for crowdsourced online mental illness diagnoses. Not consistent about checking DMs, don’t take it personal. Same user name on bluesky.
POOPSCRUFFIN4U (alpha.. @POOPSCRUFFIN4U
12K Followers 3K Following i can't read or count. triple threat, baybeeeeee
JIB Workers United @UnitedJIB
525 Followers 3K Following The workers at the Joint Industry Board have gone to twitter to voice their fight for a fair contract with their employer: IBEW local # 3.
the maia @awawawhoami
31K Followers 722 Following cute kitten (it/its), famous hacktivist (the one), mediocre journalist, questionable musician, okay dj, pretty good wife of @nichtjadeoderso | pfp @slimgiltsoul
freak of nature @calmbeast59
2K Followers 375 Following
Hunter📈🌈 @StatisticUrban
15K Followers 4K Following Data scientist │ MS in CS, stats, biochemistry │ Current Econ MS student │ 🇺🇸🇩🇪🇬🇧 Policy-centered tweets about tech, bio, urbanism, economics, & politics
City of Riverside,CA @riversidecagov
38K Followers 691 Following The Official X page for the City of Riverside, CA. Visit us at https://t.co/u7AomWzNgE #ILoveRiverside
Dan Hentschel @danghentschel
175K Followers 1K Following A permanent solution to a temporary problem.
Pendejo Time @PendejoTime
4K Followers 21 Following big green wormhole open up in the sky suck ya shit down like a oyster. blood for the blood god. end of world. welcome to hell. hosts @jakebrodes n @len0killer
Drunk Uncle @DrunkUncleATX
1K Followers 245 Following the pains of being pure of hog. O, Brittle Weather! out May 24th on @cylsrecords. booking [email protected]
🐿️✨America Is .. @DragonflyJonez
230K Followers 3K Following You gonna just decide that I'm drunk? Who are you to decide that I'm drunk? I make that decision. That decision is between me and God.
Hell Gate *subscribe .. @HellGateNY
22K Followers 423 Following A news outlet owned & run by journalists covering NYC. Subscribe: https://t.co/IKkLd43zP7
The New York War Crim.. @nywarcrimes
7K Followers 49 Following All the consent that’s fit to manufacture! @wawog_now
a little peanut 🥜 @youwouldntpost
9K Followers 4K Following award-winning “journalist.” smokes, let’s go
शिल्पिन.. @THEJILLOFFICIAL
1K Followers 798 Following ☸️☯️☮️ Image Folder 📁 Circle Enthusiast ⚪️ Apple Visualizer Source Tourist 140 IQ | UW ALUMNAE | VISUAL MERCENARY | ᴛʜᴇʀᴇ ɪs ᴅᴀɴɢᴇʀ ɪɴ ᴛʜᴇ sᴜᴍᴍᴇʀ ᴍᴏᴏɴ ᴀʙᴏᴠᴇ
killers of the flower.. @baileymoon96
12K Followers 588 Following they hated jesus because she told the truth
Natalie Wynn @ContraPoints
606K Followers 2K Following Ex-philosopher, good YouTuber, bad Tweeter. Email: [email protected]
Lex 🇹🇼 🇲🇲.. @LexPetrol
726 Followers 378 Following Social Libertarian 🐍🔰| Rhine Capitalist 🏭 | Social Progressive🪩| @UKLabour Member | 🇵🇱 🇪🇺 🇺🇳 | ↙ ↙ ↙ ✝️ ILMGF: @strwbrrysharkie Fuck the CCP
amber rollo @ambercrollo
31K Followers 3K Following
Anosognosiogenesis @pookleblinky
24K Followers 1K Following You are now consciously aware of your blinking. Eating paypigs https://t.co/VXSmKo81u1 - https://t.co/EnqmApMFii - https://t.co/EgUbWrWAT8 : pookleblinky
barbara @getinthedevice
3K Followers 1K Following the gucciest coochie this side of the chattahoochee. the Codeine Jolene
County of Orange @OCGovCA
48K Followers 480 Following Official page of the County Executive Office. List of followers may be subject to CA's Public Records Act. Social Media Disclaimer: http://t.co/U1Xzbpreuu
cal50 @cal50
3K Followers 3K Following situationally funny & smart when nobody's looking. alt is @calshitty i'm a dude
DeWitt B. Fartin @DeWittBFartin
5K Followers 322 Following
Freddy @CannyExecutive
5K Followers 605 Following
Django Gold @django
19K Followers 1K Following comedic entity // formerly for Colbert, the Onion // watch BAG OF TRICKS, link below
FIA World Endurance C.. @FIAWEC
416K Followers 320 Following The official Twitter account for the FIA World Endurance Championship, Le Mans Hypercar and LMGT3 endurance racing around the world. #WEC
Clug @Clug_chan
2K Followers 471 Following teach me how to clougie #clugnation ♡ professional feet pic provider for @shubar6969
Dopey The Dumbfuck @pete_irons87206
8K Followers 1K Following
springfieldians @springfieldians
27K Followers 128 Following all the background weirdos, one-offs, and perfectly cromulent townsfolk from america's s̶c̶r̶o̶d̶ ̶b̶a̶s̶k̶e̶t̶ crud bucket. former home of sex cauldron (rip)
tyler @tyler02020202
121K Followers 1K Following
Stretch @StretchMyPuss
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Smellan Badley @pankocrust
814 Followers 669 Following War correspondent @VICENEWS embedded with the Blackstone Valley Republican Army
Cohen is a ghost @skullmandible
50K Followers 876 Following Cohen Edenfield. writes games. DM on @skulltenders they/them
Fake History Hunter @fakehistoryhunt
273K Followers 4K Following I hunt fake history and correct it, but also post amazing real history stuff. Rude, obscene, vulgar, racist people who can't act like grown-ups get blocked.
Matt the Buff Joker @undefeatedmatt
5K Followers 1K Following He/Him; Husband, Father, Comrade. Mean online/Sweetie IRL. Terfs and Nazis are bffs
florida woman 🐊 @stephanicci
6K Followers 649 Following voted the peoples mid - art account @stephanicci_art
I said it before and I will say it again - it is a weird feeling to be so embarrassed of having graduated from my Alma mater Columbia University. My kids and my money will never go near any of it. It’s just a mothership for hate. Shame on the entire god damn university.
the rent here is cheap in a manner of speaking and the people are all chomping at the bit to do another holocaust but honestly if you're up for the vibes of an incestuous small polish town ran entirely by the italian mafia then it's basically paradise,
here's something i learned from my mom when she was 34 and had to placate a 6 year old that i'm now going to use as the backbone for an ethics,
Single guys live comfy spending under 30k/yr in basically any city barring LA SF NYC etc, but the instant they get a girlfriend 100k feels impoverished. Add in kids and you're clipping coupons at 250k EVEN AFTER your girl agrees to quit her weekly accupuncture and hot yoga…
A $100,000 SALARY NO LONGER BUYS YOU A MIDDLE-CLASS LIFESTYLE. HERE’S WHY IT COSTS SO MUCH MORE NOW. (Market Watch) David Sweede and his wife pay $2,900 a month to rent a house near his parents in his hometown of Chesapeake, Va. The house is, in his words, “not that nice.” Child…
y'all better come see us tonight in nyc!!! cus it fucking suuuuucks to get to nyc on tour LOL but y'all can make up for that by coming to our show - i know it'll prob suck for you to get there too bc it's in chelsea but bear with me... bear with me.. hear me out.. it's gonna rock
Messages of support and strength from Rafah to the student movement ❤️ this is who we fight for
it’s so fucked up how the gas station has a second nozzle of gasoline your car isn’t allowed to drink just to tempt you. let me give him the forbidden beverahe you cowards
This is like the Amazon doorbell thing. You have like 50% of people who are furious amazon doesn't ring their doorbell when they deliver a package, and another 50% that have dogs/babies who are furious when amazon does ring their doorbell, there's literally no winning here.
and i just want to say fuck my uber driver, i bawled my eyes from the beginning of the trip to the end and this guy wore his headphones as soon as i started crying.
If you don't think there's a decent group of people who would lose their minds if they were breaking down and a driver tried to talk to them about it, you have a very very limited set of experiences in life lol
Justin Bieber and Joe Biden have the same initials….. coincidence????
Im leaving the computer and im never coming back
I’ve had a couple people who have seen me tell me I look like Aella (I do) and it’s fairly flattering but also funny because I’m kind of the bizarro Aella on here, like I have the exact opposite lifestyle but the same basic, like, vibe about stuff?
Lots of posts about Civil War have been like “it’s so politically incoherent” and I was like “okay there’s no way it’s *that* bad I’m sure I can ignore it” but it really is that bad. It’s worse actually. It’s like if Crash (2004) was a war movie lmao
wtf kinda jobs do yall have where you can pick fruit & make bread from scratch at 10 am & do pilates & spend $20 on a smoothie bowl on a daily basis?? i work a 9-5 & all i can do is maybe workout, have an hour to myself, then sleep.
Kids imagine everyone who outcompetes them in America’s academic treadmill broke their own soul grinding from 4-18. In reality they had school romances, rank 45 in Halo’s MLG playlist, 2100+ rating in arenas, debates in online forums, & whatever else captured your attention.
You can blame schools for being stifling and boring and failing these gifted students if you like but the kids who succeed at the stifling and boring schoolwork have an advantage over the kids who don't in real life.
funny how the most reliable way to build wealth in this country is what this guy did (college -> white collar job -> spouse with job -> buy house -> 401k/IRA) but theres an industry of idiots on here trying to convince you it’s the worst option in favor of crypto and bs courses
One of the most disturbing videos I've ever watched
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