motti @motticomedy
(they/he) Brooklyn, NY Joined February 2021-
Tweets4K
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Followers9K
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Following491
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Likes14K
HEY NYC!! THIS IS ON TUESDAY!!
Me trying not to mention how many threesomes I had in college whenever people talk about Challengers (2024)
my sharps box hasn’t arrive yet so I’ve been using a box of Barilla pasta for my discarded T needles
Three hundred bodies exhumed from a mass grave *in a fucking hospital* including the bodies of medics *still in scrubs and wearing handcuffs* and the loudmouths are sucking up all the energy arguing over whether students and other people are protesting the correct way
I got really down on myself after realizing it’s biologically impossible for me to have a cock like GirthMaster. Then I remembered that I buy my dicks, and got to shopping. Now I’m down on myself bc I realized it’s financially impossible for me to have a dick like GirthMaster.
TUE 4/30: Caroline, @motticomedy, and @ClaraOlshansky Host A Gay-Ass Storytelling Show! The best queer comedians in town come together for a gay-ass storytelling show, feat. @nicocarney_ @embrace_mess @aminahimani @ArjunBanerjee7 + @juliashiplett! 🎟️: tinyurl.com/ynwf28kv
why listen to that new album when you can listen to Good Luck, Babe! for your millionth time?
TUE 4/30: Caroline, @motticomedy, and @ClaraOlshansky Host A Gay-Ass Storytelling Show! The best queer comedians in town come together for a gay-ass storytelling show, feat. @nicocarney_ @embrace_mess @aminahimani @ArjunBanerjee7, and @juliashiplett! 🎟️: tinyurl.com/ynwf28kv
chappell roan is going to take over the world and i will bend my knee to thee
chappell roan is going to take over the world and i will bend my knee to thee
“sex and the city is cringey” - the generation with 90% of their bed covered in stuffed animals
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whoa haha this is just like Challengers
Wait
wait is it called jergens cause guys jerg off with it
Drew Barrymore interviews everybody like they have coke and she doesn’t have any money.
Probably.
Jerry Seinfeld says he wouldn’t be able to do many jokes from ‘SEINFELD’ in today’s world. “[One would be] Kramer decides to start a business of having homeless people pull rickshaws because, as he says, ‘They’re outside anyway.’ Do you think I could get that episode on the air…
Gollum she/ her
Peter Jackson’s Lord of the Rings trilogy is coming back again — but it’s a bit different this time. hollywoodreporter.com/movies/movie-n…
yea i love colin jost. colin jost to say hello
frank called mac a f*ggot on air like 3 years ago
Jerry Seinfeld says he wouldn’t be able to do many jokes from ‘SEINFELD’ in today’s world. “[One would be] Kramer decides to start a business of having homeless people pull rickshaws because, as he says, ‘They’re outside anyway.’ Do you think I could get that episode on the air…
just landed in New Mexico :,)
Sundance Institute Announces Fellows For The 2024 Directors, Screenwriters, And Native Labs deadline.com/2024/04/sundan…
The diet coke
The oysters. The diet coke. The way he drinks so it don't spill. That me right there
@motticomedy sharps disposal in NYC is very easy! u just need something hard plastic that seals shut
Lena Dunham watched Gilmore girls and was like Hey Fuck Gilmore
I don’t want to be that guy but are you all just posting the entire movie on the TL first day it’s out
logan in the succession intro
The baba has started to walk about like an auld fella
they literally didn’t and that’s your fault
Ian Fidance is living my dream (having countless trans women yell at him)
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