Aran “Abilock” Clemmons @aran_ac
you‘ve seen me all over the city linktr.ee/aran_ac Brooklyn, NY Joined May 2013-
Tweets3K
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Followers747
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Following1K
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Likes44K
In two weeks, I’m hosting a holiday comedy show in Brooklyn with @IraqWarLiker , that’s also scary and vaguely British for some reason! Featuring a delightful lineup of Christmas spirits including @dietz_meredith @aran_ac @RyanCiecwisz And more! partiful.com/e/drGJGcOPhITl…
Bringing something NEW to this comedy show/smash tournament tomorrow at the brick aux hosted by Bryant Denton featuring @aran_ac, @brians_profile, @noshjasser, and @realDANYANG
i don’t know about you, but if somebody changes their story about bombing a hospital multiple times, edits their social media posts, brags about doing it on other accounts in different languages, after saying they’ll do it over and over again, i think that they actually did it.
Remember: No phones at Pride.
Tfw you shatter your hourglass of time and experience every age at once 😩
Being buried alive is one of my greatest fears, right next to catdog
everybody chill out i’ll get this cleaned up lickety split
I’ve been doing my part by downvoting comments on YouTube that I disagree with.
If the muppets pose no real threat then why did I once have a dream that they kidnapped my family
The only comedy show that is also a smash bros tournament (to my knowledge) is back tomorrow! feat. @DylanAdler6, @jordandeadsoon, @MrIanLockwood, @seeriej, Danielle Clarke Fisher, Anne Lim, James Wendt, and cohost @numberonetim! eventbrite.com/e/635103781507
Getting fucked doggy style: “And he’s right behind me isn’t he? 😬”
My money is on whichever one gets ahold of the sword
Top 3 texts I received recently, ordered by preference
Forgot to take my hat off at my haircut again 😳
This is the thinking man’s The Thinker
🍄tomorrow🍄 Comedians will compete in teams in a super smash bros tournament and tell jokes 🎮😌💕 Hosted by me and @sheriadidthat feat: @theglennisshow & @realDANYANG @K_A_N_D_E_L & @CharlieSosnick @kevbot_etc & @swampmonarchy @glo_inthecity & Aurea Young ❗️link in bio❗️
Desperately trying to convince my children, to no avail, that I love them both the same
Shaving my beard today. I want you all to remember what I looked like before
Max Gross ☻ @maxgotjokes
18K Followers 2K Following Headlines @Reductress, features @TheOnion. Words @Slate @Autostraddle and more. The nation’s foremost scholar on “And Just Like That.” He/him
sarah jae @sarahjaeleiber
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limp brittzkit @Brittymigs
19K Followers 2K Following she/her. just a little snail girl trying to get by. @meatcats @reductress @cracked mgmt: [email protected]
Cameron Bradford @camerobradford
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Dylan Adler @DylanAdler6
40K Followers 2K Following If Yzma was Asian. Writer on @latelateshow @Dylanadler_ on insta He/Him
meredith @dietz_meredith
18K Followers 2K Following too tired to pee, too full of piss to sleep. staff writer @lifehacker. headline contributor @TheOnion @reductress.
nick reit @TheNickAttack
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glennis ❤️🔥 @theglennisshow
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Zach Schiffman @schlife
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Kevin Burke @Ke7inBurke
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zach silberberg @zachsilberberg
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chase @_chase_____
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Powerful @Lake56151981319
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Hillary ❤️ @tshilarry82900
38 Followers 2K Following Pre-Op Trans girl 🏳️⚧️ princess with a twist follow my main account @hillary_ts
Ilana Suby @IlanaSuby61342
45 Followers 5K Following
Lara 😈 @laramcx_ts155
0 Followers 3K Following trans girl 🏳️⚧️ i’m not active on this acc, follow @LaraMCXTS
Barbi 🌼 @callmeadea9047
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Missy 🌸 @Missy_trans930
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grown adult joshua na.. @noshjasser
2K Followers 950 Following listen to my song simpin (josh's version): https://t.co/FvjlP9JaLB
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🎥#1 movies and bas.. @RyanCiecwisz
663 Followers 382 Following proudly the #1 enthusiast for all things movies and baseball. stuff in @mcsweeneys, @slackjawhumor, @pointsincase (he/him)
Missy 💅 @Missy_jrv21056
51 Followers 3K Following trans girl 🏳️⚧️ private account 🤗 follow my main @transmissy
Derek @Slede194710
9 Followers 2K Following You must love something, just like the love of vegetation for time. Life without hobbies is too boring.
Berto1 @Berto104058245
33 Followers 916 Following
Blake Andrews? @snakesandrews
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193 Followers 1K Following
Elon Musk @musk89180
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16 Followers 168 Following
Max Gross ☻ @maxgotjokes
18K Followers 2K Following Headlines @Reductress, features @TheOnion. Words @Slate @Autostraddle and more. The nation’s foremost scholar on “And Just Like That.” He/him
sarah jae @sarahjaeleiber
3K Followers 1K Following playwright, critic, jew & jess mariano scholar ✨ culture writer @jwaonline ✍🏻 @polygon @bitchmedia @bwdr & more 💌 🇵🇸
limp brittzkit @Brittymigs
19K Followers 2K Following she/her. just a little snail girl trying to get by. @meatcats @reductress @cracked mgmt: [email protected]
Cameron Bradford @camerobradford
25K Followers 979 Following Take my hand, we'll weather this storm together.
Dylan Adler @DylanAdler6
40K Followers 2K Following If Yzma was Asian. Writer on @latelateshow @Dylanadler_ on insta He/Him
meredith @dietz_meredith
18K Followers 2K Following too tired to pee, too full of piss to sleep. staff writer @lifehacker. headline contributor @TheOnion @reductress.
nick reit @TheNickAttack
722 Followers 1K Following performance and pop culture fanboy, creator, community member, etc • he/him
charlie @chunkbardey
101K Followers 911 Following here for a good time and a long time. ultimately a comedian. is this helping??? i have a podcast called @ExplorationLive
glennis ❤️🔥 @theglennisshow
11K Followers 1K Following @theglennisshow wherever there are glennis shows | extremely relatable & pretty traumatized comedian
Clara Olshansky @ClaraOlshansky
2K Followers 564 Following Writer and comic. they/them. Link to mailing list for updates on live shows, etc
Zach Schiffman @schlife
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Alex Murdoch @alexgmurd
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Kevin Burke @Ke7inBurke
5K Followers 1K Following hey! | headline contributor @theonion @reductress @bwaybeatnews | he/him
zach silberberg @zachsilberberg
53K Followers 4K Following tv in new york. no views my own. my birthday is this year
Jewish Voice for Peac.. @jvplive
324K Followers 2K Following Jews organizing toward Palestinian liberation and Judaism beyond Zionism
grown adult joshua na.. @noshjasser
2K Followers 950 Following listen to my song simpin (josh's version): https://t.co/FvjlP9JaLB
Blake Andrews? @snakesandrews
6K Followers 2K Following Motor Away Trip w/ @lovedeathsorrow Scrapeboard w/ @diskmem the frog game that's @wondervillenyc @Clickteam user @marikeDrawinge icon @harrisonwyrick & I cover
Queer Window @QueerWindow
36 Followers 38 Following Sketch Comedy meets Queer Collective. The true gay agenda🔥
Spencer Meade @spennyislennie
566 Followers 455 Following Comedian @QueerWindow @TheOnion @McSweeneys | he/they
Glo Butler @glo_inthecity
993 Followers 418 Following Comedian|writer|actor| Reiki Practitioner| Director|Glo in the City webseries 🏳️🌈 Glo in the City Live Comedy(last Sat. in Bk), & monthly (thurs)Variety Show
Sebastián Hernández @sebastianforgov
166 Followers 252 Following an old person in an old person’s body | they/them
Justin Avery Smith @JustAVerySmith
2K Followers 5K Following “A professional comedian” - MIT. Writer & Performer. Seen in @mcsweeneys @TheOnion @TMZLive #PreWGA #Teamster #RecoveringGleek (He/Him)
Live Forever @LiveForeverYo
121 Followers 103 Following Immortal comedy show run by @feldfrog and @camerobradford. Now at Union Hall! Rude tweets by Benny
pierce @cringe_genius
10K Followers 693 Following elvis meme. yarb sale sign. caleb’s birthday poem. 2020 truthpoint election special
Sunny Laprade QUEER E.. @sunnylcomedy
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Evan Lazarus @elazie_
320 Followers 346 Following this is a great place for you to find out I am serverly dyselxic (he/they)
matt @IraqWarLiker
661 Followers 586 Following i’m sorry about the username, i made this account in 2002. A major player down at the sewing store
Belton @BeltonDelToro
577 Followers 871 Following #Screenwriter #Filmmaker I tell jokes to a crowd, sometimes. @Screencraft Quarter-Finalist Let's have a movie fight
CHR ✡️🇵🇸�.. @chargooond
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Donald Trump @donnaldjjttrump
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Ty Galiz-Rowe @owoathkeeper
4K Followers 2K Following Covering games against my better judgement | Founder/EIC @uppercutcrit| Trans guy 🏳️⚧️| Freelance✏️: @TeamLiquid @GameSpot @GameInformer tygalizrowe @ gmail
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dave @Dove_Anderson1
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Good Girls Gone Sad P.. @goodgrlsgonesad
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$14 and $17 are so different... $14 is basically $10. And $17 is basically everything I own
Bring your kid to work day going poorly for me
i hate when people read on the subway…
The Renaissance Men are coming to town. Smiling Friends S2 double premiere May 12 @ midnight - next day on @StreamOnMax #smilingfriends #adultswim
Sharing this special from everyone’s sweet beautiful friend, Jay Agbon. I don’t know how you honor a life so fucking full of humor and joy and beauty. But I know we are all so lucky to have known you Jay. Art is long, life is short. Hug your friends 💛 youtu.be/C1o4L264bqk?si…
laughing my ass off at these feminine animations posted to the unreal engine subreddit
a year ago I totally freaked out cuz I thought I lost hat #1 so I bought hat #2 on eBay for $17. today I found hat #1 . I am richer than ever
Me & @IraqWarLiker are back and this time we’re EVIL. Only one thing will satiate our lust for world domination: good standup comedy Featuring a funny and dastardly bunch @alexgmurd @camerobradford @seemycowski @AshDiggs_ @chardypf @akshaypsa RSVP partiful.com/e/6uwc290f5Vni…
This joke made someone at the end say “damn!” and that’s beautiful
she still has the best best picture oscar announcement by the way #Oscars
noooo way
just saw anatomy of a fall we need to put more bi women on trial!!!!
Police in riot gear dragging me away from the red carpet as I scream “hey handsome!” at Ramy Youssef over and over again
Europe was designed by From Software
The skull of Saint Thomas Aquinas!
I made my own, more accurate map
This data is absolutely insane, if true. Basically every category of meeting one's romantic partner is diving toward zero and getting eaten by online.
Georgia O'Keeffe rolling in her grave
Watching The Ring video on this so when the girl comes out she breaks her neck
JFL has filed for bankruptcy, but the industry still has a very strong talent pipeline: The Coney Island Comedy Festival
Devoting all of my time and energy into acquiring this job
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