🤔 @antikirsten
future dead person Joined June 2020-
Tweets8K
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Followers2K
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Following630
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Likes43K
didn’t feel the earthquake AND didn’t see the eclipse guess i’ll go die
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🤔 retweeted
The pen is mightier than the sword. #QuoteOfTheDay
we need authoritative voiceovers back in previews please just fucking tell me what its about
but that’s my emotional support unopened letter from my healthcare provider that’s been sitting on my desk for 6 months
🤔 retweeted
AMC will release 3 new Nicole Kidman ads in theaters, starting from March 1.
once 3 years ago i changed my phone language to dutch and autocorrect has never been the same
🤔 retweeted
Doctors Without Borders says children as young as 5 in Gaza have told them they want to die
in a place rn where i can tell i would be so susceptible to a cult
this is how it feels to leave ur therapists office in the middle of manhattan
putting your phone on do not disturb and then getting zero texts or calls is so embarrassing
🤔 retweeted
Tripping out on Roger Ebert’s last words
🤔 retweeted
you know the google search is good when they recommend hotlines to call
🤔 retweeted
i would eat this so hard my vassals would keep record of it for centuries via vernacular oral tradition
i would eat this so hard my vassals would keep record of it for centuries via vernacular oral tradition
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vanderpump rules
Useful terminology for your every day life:
No i like him
@len0killer They hate when a player drive diagonally across the parking lot
zendaya in challengers
Thanks to the $17 bowl-based lunch I just had I can survive another 18 months without physical intimacy
One of the best tweets of all time full stop
The new Hidden Words feature on Hinge is the best thing they’ve ever done
*snorts line in a pitch meeting* it's a movie about a bunch of girls who all share the same pair of pants. one of them is curvy but that is not a problem for the pants
It brings me no pleasure to say that unfortunately this is very funny
[after a 10-second lull in conversation at after-work drinks]
You wouldn’t last an hour in the coconut tree I fell out of
Gonna get my eye looked at today.. usually it's the other way around
To be completely honestly man only 2 out of 10 dentists recommended this toothpaste but they both have quite esoteric taste and are always early on things that later become cult classics
Pickleball and austin Texas are the same thing. I won’t be explaining what I mean by that but it’s deeply true
My New York City concert has been cancelled.
“Bro send me the photo from last night!” The photo:
dude at the bar is trying to close his tab repeating his name really loud to the bartender and his name is literaly Ryan Croissant
dentist said i can eat candy and stuff because he no longer cares about me or my teeth
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