Erika @TrolleyCat
I'm like a drunk gazelle. Washington, DC Joined July 2010-
Tweets937
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Followers9K
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Following264
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Likes6K
Dog Masseuses Without Borders takes me away from my family a lot but we are doing God's work.
I made the difficult choice between Twitter and pursuing my dream to be a dog masseuse.
@BDGarp Ok fine but if you refer to your bedroom as "where the magic happens" we're done here.
I will never want a tour of your new apartment.
It's just the right kinda night to strap on my bread dough bodysuit and lie in a tanning bed so that it rises around me like love.
I would sell you and your family into slavery for a ranch dressing.
Feels like 2014 is a weird guy eyeing me at a bar & making me uncomfortable but if he offers to buy me curly fries I'll probably say yes.
Cats don't wear makeup because they're naturally beautiful.
All guys named Brad are secretly insecure about having the word "bra" in their name. We pretend we don't notice but we do, Brads.
The best decision I made in 2013 was the $120k master's degree in finger puppetry I got online from Finger Puppet College USA.
@senderblock23 no they left but then they came back again but then they left again but they'll be back soon they're just running an errand.
So what are the people twooting about today in this chat room?
I need a list of people I can force to give me back massages. This bus driver sucks at it. Yes I'm talking about you Lyman. Eyes on the road
Chase your dreams! Seriously. Stalk them online. Follow them when they move to LA with some girl named Denise who isn't even as cute as me
Sometimes you just gotta lie on the floor of a Target eating mini donuts and pondering butts.
You can tell Batman swishes his little fanny when he walks so that his cape billows more.
Ask not how you can party in the USA, ask how the USA can party in you.
A stranger's baby looked me in the eye today and raised one eyebrow, like that's even an ok thing to do.
It was 2 years before I knew that my roommate Marcelle was a raccoon. He sure did love trashes and rabies, but you can't just assume.
A fun activity is taking the harness off someone's seeing eye dog and putting it on yourself then seeing how many years until they notice.
Carey O'Donnell @ecareyo
69K Followers 3K Following Writer. Co-host of @sexyuniquepod. You didn’t go up there to fish.
Easy Chameleon @EZChameleon
110 Followers 148 Following Seasoned software developer in Africa. Interested in everything. Still learning.
siegward of catarina @bruh45775833
22 Followers 233 Following
Candice Parker @ParkerCand49575
1 Followers 61 Following
claw @seekeshvz
2 Followers 91 Following
Yeti Lee @xx_stanhash_xx
60 Followers 509 Following "Kill everyone now! Condone first degree murder!Advocate cannibalism! Eat shit! Filth is my politics! Filth is my life!"~Devine Banner by @Fdipper2
ChunkyPox @ChunkyPox
72 Followers 415 Following
Isabell @Isabell2601
3 Followers 29 Following Manufacturing and Supplying Caster Wheel around the world
miserrhoea @miserrhoea
72 Followers 186 Following I can almost guarantee that we won’t get along. Revelling in misery. 🇪🇺🏳️🌈🇬🇧🇫🇷
Cherry Turlington @ChArY_114
9 Followers 396 Following
Ecstasy @CoffeeTat2
8 Followers 61 Following Some people like what I tweet. Some don’t. Statistically, you probably won’t.
Muddgang @Muddgang2
82 Followers 2K Following
Makadamon Baker @MakadamonB
6 Followers 87 Following
Betty @DynamicBadger
0 Followers 49 Following
Alexander Tower @AlexanderTower6
21 Followers 393 Following
Funny Tweeter @thefunnytweeter
11K Followers 4K Following If we retweet you, that means your tweet was published in https://t.co/Sjvvd3oshD. To submit a tweet, mention @thefunnytweeter
Joe Moviegoer @JoeMoviegoer
5 Followers 382 Following
everynickistaken @everynickstaken
9 Followers 37 Following Keto and carnivore confused RN. Depends on the day. The lower the carb, the better.
Zone Dr. @📻NJ YAY @grasshoppa134
247 Followers 4K Following Nothing & nobody is a failure from GAD's perspective.Therefore what & whoever I'm is fine in this short trial version! Amazing🌏@⏱️tinkling education!
John McPartlan @johnmcpartlan
2 Followers 129 Following
Cassie Dowdy @Punkkungfoo
7 Followers 155 Following
momonymous @momonymous1
385 Followers 251 Following Mom 💖 wife 💋 daughter 🙌🏻 sea monster 💦 rusty coke can 🐿 hot dog ❄️ hand-drawn coffee cup 🧵 poorly-edited resume 🦷 gogurt 🎐
Scarlet | Family Focu... @familyfocusblog
81K Followers 45K Following Nashville mom blogger with family lifestyle resources: parenting, recipes, crafts, family travel, & eco-tips. Tulane alumna. Author of 4 books.
Daniel John @danieljohn3310
32 Followers 328 Following
Vincent VanRiesen Cha... @QualiaControl
340 Followers 1K Following 𝗔𝗱𝗺𝗶𝗻 ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀҉ Inventor of Robot Reiki https://t.co/R6AX64U7I0 @placebomessiah.bsky.social
Gerfton @Good_as_Gould
143 Followers 850 Following Small forehead, big personality. A centurion headhunter of the #TaskmasterTreasureHunt #YNWA
Aunt Tisha @aunttisha
212 Followers 283 Following
Robert Shepherd @twitwitbobert
4 Followers 142 Following
Grim Haven Clothing @LicensedProduct
755 Followers 2K Following Gothic Clothing and Accessories with FREE Shipping We have a huge selection of unique Gothic Clothing And Accessories to show off your unique style
Daniel Zick @zickd32
32 Followers 480 Following
Public House Dvpt @PublicHouseDvpt
368 Followers 184 Following 20 taps,specialty cocktails & wide selection of bottles/cans.Comfortable & rustic ambiance w/ patio.Twelve 4K TVS. One 84 TV!Go Public& watch the games w/ us
Jane Hind @quintjulip
6 Followers 30 Following Started from the bottom, now we here...at the bottom.
Luigi Van Peebles @ShawnHatesyou
133 Followers 2K Following 99.9% retweets and not a smidge of temperature!
rob delaney @robdelaney
1.3M Followers 2 Following You can get my book, A Heart That Works, at the link below.
Megan Amram @meganamram
884K Followers 4K Following it's this weird, sexual, anti-comedy comedy that's 'in' right now. - my mom
Michael Ian Black @michaelianblack
1.6M Followers 755 Following 9 years in the NFL. 2 rings. #9years2rings
lauren ashley bishop @sbellelauren
47K Followers 1K Following comedy writer. comedy performer. mother of all dogs. AR native. @sbellelauren on threads, IG, and tiktok. also https://t.co/oZPcpNvYbG
Chase Mitchell @ChaseMit
82K Followers 3K Following I write for TV and pick up my dog’s shit with a little bag.
Brian Gaar @briangaar
73K Followers 2K Following https://t.co/z1EDZmqdBo Bluesky: https://t.co/XkLVhTtCfv Read my stuff at: https://t.co/e9CGIwhVgN
Danny Zuker @DannyZuker
250K Followers 2K Following Exec Producer on ABC's Modern Family. So many flops. Check out my podcast https://t.co/zp3qqRUeDS
Dan Duvall @DanDuvallComedy
30K Followers 2K Following Standup Comic and former guy who uses Twitter
Carey O'Donnell @ecareyo
69K Followers 3K Following Writer. Co-host of @sexyuniquepod. You didn’t go up there to fish.
mike ginn @shutupmikeginn
187K Followers 1K Following writer/producer/poster DM for a photo of my most recent meal
Louis Peitzman @LouisPeitzman
75K Followers 3K Following Mary Testa once said I was great. Bylines: NY Times, Vulture, Time, BuzzFeed. [email protected]
Travon Free @Travon
120K Followers 4K Following Writer/Director/Comedian. Oscar and Emmy(s) winner. Black bi popular demand. 🏳️🌈🏁 Two Distant Strangers. BS High. 38 At The Garden. Daily Show(formerly).
drewtoothpaste.bsky.s... @drewtoothpaste
57K Followers 234 Following Bsky: https://t.co/rFLTeBr0NS My podcast: https://t.co/RSmNGdSUKc My comics/memes: https://t.co/4ZTFzENCJ6 & @dasharez0ne
Jason Mustian (deroga... @jasonmustian
15K Followers 829 Following OG internet dirtbag. i’ve run a few startups (poorly). it's weird that your stalking my twitter but also flattering, thank you.
Bob Vulfov @bobvulfov
59K Followers 685 Following i was gonna be a great athlete but then mcdonald's came out with the dollar menu
Ali Spagnola @alispagnola
2.1M Followers 1.3M Following Music. Comedy. Fitness. Outrageous!.... I explain in the video here→https://t.co/ieA94HDzQu
sadvil 😎 (sadvil.b... @sadvil
23K Followers 718 Following making jokes, shuffling deckchairs. find me at https://t.co/MobqCcHoDi
David Hughes @david8hughes
107K Followers 780 Following Writer. I wrote this bio. Mock the Week | Trailer Park Boys | The Project
Kristin Donohue @kristinmarie716
147 Followers 412 Following “Qué bien sé yo la fonte que mana y corre, aunque es de noche.” -San Juan de la Cruz
chuuch @ch000ch
176K Followers 425 Following
Michael Raphone, Sr. @michael_raphone
7K Followers 706 Following sexually handsome and good at dancing
john v. variety ❤�... @johnvvariety
12K Followers 996 Following CUBAN-RUSSIAN MISSILE CRISIS / DISCO EX MACHINA / RED WIDOWER / JOHN V. VARIETY NEW LP (debuted on tour w/ John Maus!) OUT NOW @ STREAM/TAPE/Etc.// SINGLE SOON
Shawn Pearlman @shawnpearlman
4K Followers 740 Following TV writer for @rickandmorty, @swordsonhulu, and more upcoming stuff. I won't waste a potential tweet here
lawblob @lawblob
33K Followers 2K Following
Amanda @Manda_like_wine
39K Followers 905 Following I do a lot of laundry. contact:mancinowilliams at gmail
jonny sun @jonnysun
453K Followers 2K Following tv writer (bojack horseman; mrs. davis; a new netflix series) & nyt best selling author (goodbye, again; gmorning gnight; everyones a aliebn). (he/him)
ashley barnhill @ashley_barnhill
10K Followers 1K Following 📕 Tech-thriller DAЯKSTOЯK ⬇️June 5 Eco🌎& IPv6💻 Day! 🎤dark comic 🎬director ⚖️JD UT Law 🇬🇧UK HPI Visa #TBIsurvivor #hemianopsia #EndAlz
Rumpus Bumpus @RumpusAndBumpus
2K Followers 820 Following 'RumpusBumpus' then a dot then 'bsky' then another dot then 'social'
the other sarah @thetexass
163 Followers 162 Following
ringworm @prawn_meat
23K Followers 864 Following kick damn ass and rock on. check out my shit https://t.co/Y8OnQi9wnc
Jake Fogelnest @jakefogelnest
69K Followers 1K Following Professional. Husband to nice lady. Dad to Tallulah. 3x Emmy loser (so far). In Stereo (Where Available). For business stuff contact: The Gersh Agency.
Jason Berlin @JasonBerlin
12K Followers 9K Following Executive Director, Field Team 6 - Register Democrats. Save the world. #BLM #Resist #Voterizer #FieldTeam6 🌊🌊
Andrew Law @thatandrewlaw
4K Followers 493 Following dangerously high cholesterol for someone my age
Shelby @smelbz
4K Followers 761 Following I write words for money and I love it (the money). All teeth.
Jay Such @JaySuch
18K Followers 996 Following Used to be a pretty big deal. Award winning host of The SomeGuyShow Podcast.
Alice White @alicewhitey
17K Followers 716 Following
Brendan O'Hare @brendohare
52K Followers 324 Following normal man. listen and subscribe to @BranchburgPod
TORMABLAS PARODYIACKL... @Tormny_Pickeals
17K Followers 697 Following what if tommy pickles was alive & well & an assistant manager of Antifa Inc instead of in a shallow grave in the desert? this parody acct explores this concept










































