God Creating Animals @GodAnimalBooks
God Creating Animals Children’s Book Series. Written by: @NewDadNotes Illustrated by: @TheUnderfold. Watch God Creating Animal videos, click the link below : ) youtube.com/@GodCreatingAn… United States Joined November 2018-
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God: you’re a clam. Clam: yippee skippee! God: you have a hard outer shell. Clam: but I’m a big softie on the inside! God: you live in the ocean. Clam: [puts Salt Life sticker on shell] yay! God: lol you’re in a good mood. Clam: I’m as happy as a me : )
God: you’re a black cat. Black Cat: ok! God: you’re bad luck to everyone but Halloween Witches. Black Cat: why do they like me? God: you bring them seance candles. [later] Black Cat: I’ve got ocean mist, clean cotton or christmas cookie. Witch: ar-are those yankee candles?
God: you’re a mantis. Mantis: actually I’m a praying mantis. God: oh I like that very pious. Mantis: thanks : ) God: you know what just for that I’m gonna give you your pick of where you want to live AND what you eat. Mantis: yay! Dung Beetle: ok hold up.
God: you’re a spider. Spider: I don’t like that name. God: um ok what do you wanna be called. Spider: well I have long legs. God: so spider lo- Spider: daddy long legs : ) God: w-what? Spider: God: Spider: [whispers] call me daddy. God: I’m very uncomfortable right now.
God: you’re a kori bustard. Kori: ok. God: you’re the worlds heaviest flying bird. Kori: how much can I weigh? God: 42 lbs or 19 kgs. Kori: is that max flying weight? God: yep! Ostrich: [wearing Lululemon yoga pants and sweatband standing on a scale] only 278 lbs to go : )
God: you’re a wolf. Wolf: cool quick question. God: sure. Wolf: who’s that? Dog: [tail wag] hi! God: he’s your distant relative. Wolf: we’re related? God: on your Mom’s side. Wolf: ugh could this day get more embarrassing? God: Pug: [buggy eyes and heavy breathing].
God: you’re a fish. Fish: nice. God: a group of you is called a school. Fish: oh no! God: what’s wrong? Fish: I’m probably a terrible student : ( God: why? Fish: my grades are all below sea level : ) God: Fish: God: my cod.
My all-time favorite joke I’ve written : ) Bon Appetit 🐸
God Creates Buffalo equals Wholesome Fun.
God: you’re a goose. Goose: actually I’m a silly goose. God: what? Goose: everyone thinks I’m mean but I’m actually quite silly. God: I don’t know what to say. Goose: say I’m a silly goose. God: no. Goose: say it. God: I’m not saying it. Goose: [pinches God’s nose] HONK!
God: you’re a capybara. Capybara: yay! God: you’re the largest rodent. Capybara: double yay! God: also you live in South America. Capybara: so cool! God: wow you’re in a great mood! Capybara: just living my personal motto! God: which is? Capybara: don’t worry be Capy : )
God: you’re a dog. Dog: [stretches back]. God: looks nice. Dog: I call it downward facing dog or downdog for short. God: let me try [stretches back] so nice. Dog: now try updog. God: what’s updog? Dog: nothing what’s up with you : ) God: Dog: God: you’re a good boy lol.
God: you’re a marsupial. Kangaroo: what does that mean? God: you’re a mammal with a pouch. Kangaroo: so I can carry my precious cargo? God: yes exactly! Kangaroo: like these French fries : ) God: or-or your children. Kangaroo: God: Kangaroo: [whispers] pouch potatoes.
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😂
God: you’re a black cat. Black Cat: ok! God: you’re bad luck to everyone but Halloween Witches. Black Cat: why do they like me? God: you bring them seance candles. [later] Black Cat: I’ve got ocean mist, clean cotton or christmas cookie. Witch: ar-are those yankee candles?
@diekatzlei Notar, what did you say about it?
God: you’re a black cat. Black Cat: ok! God: you’re bad luck to everyone but Halloween Witches. Black Cat: why do they like me? God: you bring them seance candles. [later] Black Cat: I’ve got ocean mist, clean cotton or christmas cookie. Witch: ar-are those yankee candles?
God: you’re a black cat. Black Cat: ok! God: you’re bad luck to everyone but Halloween Witches. Black Cat: why do they like me? God: you bring them seance candles. [later] Black Cat: I’ve got ocean mist, clean cotton or christmas cookie. Witch: ar-are those yankee candles?
@GodAnimalBooks They are also very warm on a chilly evening.
@GodAnimalBooks Midsummer Night would be appropriate
@GodAnimalBooks Christmas cookie might be ok but those other too got to go back.
@GodAnimalBooks God might want to rethink that offer:
😂😂
God: you’re a spider. Spider: I don’t like that name. God: um ok what do you wanna be called. Spider: well I have long legs. God: so spider lo- Spider: daddy long legs : ) God: w-what? Spider: God: Spider: [whispers] call me daddy. God: I’m very uncomfortable right now.
🤣🤣🤣🤣
God: you’re a spider. Spider: I don’t like that name. God: um ok what do you wanna be called. Spider: well I have long legs. God: so spider lo- Spider: daddy long legs : ) God: w-what? Spider: God: Spider: [whispers] call me daddy. God: I’m very uncomfortable right now.
@GodAnimalBooks Welcome back! Missed you and all your little creatures ❤️
I believe I have found a new favourite page. 😍
God: you’re a spider. Spider: I don’t like that name. God: um ok what do you wanna be called. Spider: well I have long legs. God: so spider lo- Spider: daddy long legs : ) God: w-what? Spider: God: Spider: [whispers] call me daddy. God: I’m very uncomfortable right now.
@CjHajer They were always called that around our schoolyard and stuff. I didn’t know that was weird.
I cannot be the only one who was taught they were called "dandy long legs", am I?
God: you’re a spider. Spider: I don’t like that name. God: um ok what do you wanna be called. Spider: well I have long legs. God: so spider lo- Spider: daddy long legs : ) God: w-what? Spider: God: Spider: [whispers] call me daddy. God: I’m very uncomfortable right now.
God: you’re a spider. Spider: I don’t like that name. God: um ok what do you wanna be called. Spider: well I have long legs. God: so spider lo- Spider: daddy long legs : ) God: w-what? Spider: God: Spider: [whispers] call me daddy. God: I’m very uncomfortable right now.
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