Science Mom 🔬 @EmSlyce
Discovering that toddlers and logic don't mix. Seen on @Huffpost @buzzfeed @TODAY_Parents @cheezburger and many more. My tweets are here ⬇️ twitter.com/search/from:em… Joined February 2012-
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Good morning Parental Units! It’s that time of the week where we ask for parenting tweets and you send them to us! Do you best to keep it clean and have fun! Ends at 6pm est or when the kids have taken over!
Must be some rule that kids have to touch every cookie before picking the one they want
There’s no better time than now (until 6pm EST) for our weekly parenting tweet call! Reply with some PG parenting tweets for likes, laughs, and RTs.
I told my 5yo that he could have some popcorn if he promised to listen to me more and his response was “what did you say” so we’re off to a great start
Happy Sunday! It’s time for everyone’s favorite Tweet Call of the week (or so we tell ourselves). Drop us a few PG parenting tweets for likes, RTs, and our condolences. Ends at 6pm EST.
[6 AM] Child [coming out of bedroom]: Do you think Lightning McQueen has car insurance or life insurance? Me [rubbing temples]: it is way too early for this
Come one, come all- it’s time to share some laughs and groans with all PG parenting tweets all day, or until 6pm EST. Drop a few for likes, RTs, and commiseration.
I don’t know much about parenting, but I know there’s a goldfish cracker under your couch right now.
It’s January 1 and my kid keeps making jokes like “I haven’t farted all year”. The dad genes are strong with this one.
Ladies and gentlemen, moms and dads, it’s a new year with the same old parenting nonsense! Share with us your PG parenting tweets for love and head shakes. Ends at 6pm.
A classmate told my 7yo that his mom and dad are Santa, and now my kid wants to know how Jackson’s parents are getting into our house tonight
I like to feed my kid balanced meals from the 4 toddler food groups. 1. Things he ate yesterday that he refused today. 2. Things he doesn’t want but I’m hoping to get him to eat anyway. 3. Things he thinks he wants but will spit out after one bite. 4. Goldfish crackers.
We kissed in front of our 5 year old and she’s been laughing for six minutes straight, in case anyone’s wondering what married life is like after kids
@specpro_s @itssherifield they ate more than they decorated
My 3yo made this gingerbread house and I think someone better do a welfare check on Santa
@SuperBesuper @notmythirdrodeo Nope, red frosting
@BrickMahoney It’s red frosting actually, so you’re good!
👏FIX👏ALL👏THE👏BROKEN👏SELF-CHECKOUTS👏
80% of marriage is showing your spouse the item they couldn't find is in the exact place you told them to look.
I’m 1.7% Italian so ordering pizza for Christmas dinner is just the right thing to do
[eating sugar, dairy, processed food] My body: perfect things are going well [drinking 1.5 gallons of water] My body: sick for 4 days due to water poisoning
Just wrapped my gifts without patching a single short side so, obviously, I'm buying a lottery ticket.
After 36 Christmases, I'm starting to understand Ebenezer.
Sure the tv show Survivor looks challenging but have you ever gone grocery shopping with your in-laws?
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