A Crime a Day @CrimeADay
In 1982, DOJ attempted to count the total number of federal crimes. The WSJ said 'Since then, no one has tried anything nearly as extensive.' Until @CrimeADay. crimehandbook.com Joined July 2014-
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21 USC §§601(n)(7), 610, 676 & 9 CFR §319.762 make it a federal crime for a tongue spread seller to try to improve the spreadability of their tongue spread by adding non-tongue meat fat in such a way that it detracts from the tongue character of the tongue spread.
16 USC §1338(a)(6) & 43 CFR §9264.7(a)(8) make it a federal crime to take a wild free-roaming horse off federal land and use it in a rodeo.
7 USC §§8313, 8306, 9 CFR §§93.310 & 93.300 make it a federal crime to try to sell your quarantined zebra while it’s still in quarantine.
21 USC §676 & 9 CFR §317.8(b)(5)(ii) make it a federal crime to sell a 1-pound or smaller package of sliced bacon if the transparent bacon preview window is located more than five-eighths of an inch from the top or bottom edge of the package.
46 USC §11501(4) makes it a federal crime for a seaman to willfully disobey a master’s command while at sea.
21 USC §§1037(b)(4), 1033(a)(2)(D) & 1041 make it a federal crime for the operator of an egg plant to let someone leave their egg plant with eggs that were colored with an unsafe color additive.
21 USC §§331, 333, 343 & 21 CFR §155.120(a)(4)(iii)(a) make it a federal crime to sell canned green beans that you say are “stringless” unless your beans are, in fact, stringless.
16 USC §§703, 707 & 50 CFR §20.91(a) make it a federal crime to offer to buy swan feathers so you can make a woman's hat with them.
46 USC §10908 makes it a federal crime to knowingly send a ship to sea in unseaworthy condition.
18 USC §1073 makes it a federal crime to flee the United States to avoid being taken into custody for a federal crime.
wow. exciting package delivery from @simonschuster today. the paperback of How to Become a Federal Criminal comes out in paperback tomorrow, making it 60% easier to smuggle into prison. order here: amazon.com/How-Become-Fed…
18 USC §793(e) makes it a federal crime to have unauthorized access to national defense documents and willfully keep them.
18 USC §922(g)(3) and 924(a)(2) make it a federal crime to have a gun if you know you’re an unlawful user of, or addicted to, any controlled substance.
42 USC §271(a), 42 CFR §§70.1 & 70.11(a) make it a federal crime for an airline pilot to not report to the CDC that a passenger on board has had persistent diarrhea.
42 USC §271(a), 42 CFR §§70.1 & 70.11(a) make it a federal crime for an airline pilot to not report to the CDC that a passenger on board has had persistent diarrhea.
21 USC §§331, 333 & 21 CFR §189.301 make it a federal crime to produce wine with a tin-coated lead foil cap after February 8, 1996.
18 USC §1382 & 32 CFR §552.18(n) make it a federal crime to pick up a hitchhiker on an Army installation.
7 USC §§8305, 8313 & Federal Order DA-2021-0003 make it a federal crime to fly from Puerto Rico to any U.S. state with raw pork in your luggage.
In light of recent events, I need to clarify that when I sent copies of “How to Become a Federal Criminal,” to members of Congress, the goal was to educate them, not to encourage them.
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@Andrewnsnyder How to Become a Federal Criminal by @CrimeADay
This is a really fun book. I recommend it.
wow. exciting package delivery from @simonschuster today. the paperback of How to Become a Federal Criminal comes out in paperback tomorrow, making it 60% easier to smuggle into prison. order here: amazon.com/How-Become-Fed…
@arabatman_ This handy book (now available in paperback!) is full of crimes for beginners as well as advanced criminals! Highly recommend it. I’ve bought it for multiple friends. x.com/CrimeADay/stat…
wow. exciting package delivery from @simonschuster today. the paperback of How to Become a Federal Criminal comes out in paperback tomorrow, making it 60% easier to smuggle into prison. order here: amazon.com/How-Become-Fed…
@agill99 @CrimeADay Sometimes you need some emergency plane bacon for that third leg
In light of recent events, I need to clarify that when I sent copies of “How to Become a Federal Criminal,” to members of Congress, the goal was to educate them, not to encourage them.
Hey @tedcruz can we maybe require the repeal of every federal law that @CrimeADay has ever mentioned as a requirement for raising the debt ceiling?
21 USC §352, 21 CFR §§350.50(c)(4)(ii) & 369.21 make it a federal crime to sell spray deodorant without telling people to avoid spraying it in their eyes.
Gna mail a box that says “Live Scorpions” and in that box is a box that says “Live, Scorpions!” and that inner box is untaped and also empty
18 USC §1716(c) & USPS Publication 52 §§526.5 make it a federal crime to mail live scorpions unless they're in a box that's clearly marked "Live Scorpions" and that box is inside yet another box that also says "Live Scorpions."
@CrimeADay Just @ them next time.
@CrimeADay The sentence is tripled if it is sold alongside Brooklyn Barbecue
@CrimeADay Ha ! New York Bourbon still tastes like shit ..
@CrimeADay What the law should read…
@CrimeADay @elonmusk The USC has probably doubled since you wrote it. When can we expect another edition?
@CrimeADay If there is a second book let me know as I will pre-order.
@CrimeADay I have lived long enough to see Balloon law become relevant. This is honestly probably better that that string of cheese law and ketchup law you did a while back.
Today's class is about to be introduced to the concept of boar taint via @CrimeADay's book. One of the best educational resources I've purchased.
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