Stuff Tiny Humans Say @tinyhumanssay

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Stuff Tiny Humans Say @tinyhumanssay

4 years ago

On today’s episode of, “Reasons My Kid Hates Me”: my 3 year old farted and I couldn’t stop the smell from following her.

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Stuff Tiny Humans Say @tinyhumanssay

6 years ago

The only professions that come with appreciation days are the ones that don’t come with a deserved salary.

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Stuff Tiny Humans Say @tinyhumanssay

6 years ago

Y’all preaching that we need to be more sensitive about the POTUS current health are the same y’all who not even 24 hours ago were disgustingly trolling a celebrity after the tragic loss of her baby. Go away.

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Stuff Tiny Humans Say @tinyhumanssay

6 years ago

A random stranger stopped to tell me that they thought my daughter was very beautiful and that, “boys will line up for her.” But when I said, “Or girls will!” they gave me a gross look and didn’t want to talk about my toddler’s sexuality anymore. Weird.

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Stuff Tiny Humans Say @tinyhumanssay

6 years ago

My coworkers and I write each other notes now because we’re not allowed to interact and mix our classroom cohorts. It’s been fun but I really hope the kids don’t catch us and make us read them in front of everyone.

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Stuff Tiny Humans Say @tinyhumanssay

6 years ago

My 2 year old says, “Thank you, train!” every time the subway doors open for us to get on/off and it is exactly the smile my heart needs to keep going everyday. This pandemic has brought out the worst in people, but kids are so pure, man. We really should listen to them more.

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Stuff Tiny Humans Say @tinyhumanssay

6 years ago

Taking off your mask is the 2020 version of taking off your bra.

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Stuff Tiny Humans Say @tinyhumanssay

6 years ago

First week of in-person teaching done and all I can tell you is that I’m exhausted and kids are resilient af.

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Stuff Tiny Humans Say @tinyhumanssay

6 years ago

“School is better on Zoom because you can fart whenever you want and no one can smell it”. -A Glass-Half-Full 5 Year Old

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Stuff Tiny Humans Say @tinyhumanssay

6 years ago

Can we all agree that this “new normal” also includes pj’s in public, unwashed hair and afternoon cocktails? Really looking to avoid any awkwardness going into work next week.

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Stuff Tiny Humans Say @tinyhumanssay

6 years ago

A good way to ruin a toddler’s morning is to give them everything they ask for.

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Stuff Tiny Humans Say @tinyhumanssay

6 years ago

“wHaT diD hE dO tHo?” “iF hE jUsT LiStEnEd..” HE👏WAS👏UNARMED. COPS👏ARE👏NOT👏EXECUTIONERS. This isn’t even a discussion. #BlackLivesMatter

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Stuff Tiny Humans Say @tinyhumanssay

6 years ago

Remember, the teachers you are insulting for having concerns about returning to the classroom are the same teachers who would take a bullet for your child in the event of an active shooter. We would do anything for your kids. That’s literally the foundation of our concerns.

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Stuff Tiny Humans Say @tinyhumanssay

6 years ago

Y’all need to mask up so we can get back to work before conspiracy theories become the next pandemic.

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Stuff Tiny Humans Say @tinyhumanssay

6 years ago

I don’t know who needs to see this but, wearing a mask is not related to child trafficking.

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Stuff Tiny Humans Say @tinyhumanssay

6 years ago

A downside to intermittent fasting is that every night at 7:55 I chug a bottle of wine bc I can’t eat past 8 but feel that I deserve to be compensated fairly for my stressful day of COVID parenting. Does this defeat the purpose? Probs don’t care, but still. #fitmom

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Stuff Tiny Humans Say @tinyhumanssay

6 years ago

Today, a bee stung my finger infront of my toddler. It’s been 6hrs & she’s still taking play-breaks to kiss it better. Motherhood can often make you feel like such a failure. But sometimes you get a moment & you realise you’re actually doing pretty great. I got a moment.

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Stuff Tiny Humans Say @tinyhumanssay

6 years ago

Today at the park, a kid ripped a branch off of a tree and began to eat the leaves. The woman sitting beside me casually looked up from her book and said, “My kid is so fucking weird”. We’re friends now.

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Stuff Tiny Humans Say @tinyhumanssay

6 years ago

Last night putting my toddler to bed, she cupped a feel and sang, “Dance! Dance! Dance!” as she shook my breast. Does this mean we watch too much @RuPaulsDragRace or just the right amount?

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Stuff Tiny Humans Say @tinyhumanssay

6 years ago

Toddlers will have you questioning all of your life choices during bedtime routine to suddenly melting you with an all-consuming love the second they fall asleep. Little shits.