Derek Heckman @herekdeckman
Fiction writer/schoolmarm. Not coming back for thirty percent. (he/him) Maryland, USA Joined March 2016-
Tweets20K
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Followers2K
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Following2K
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Likes53K
Teacher appreciation week a tough time for people like me who would rather jump off a bridge than have somebody say something nice about me
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Guys don’t roll craps for their buddies’ souls like they used to
I’m hereby formally announcing my beef with @TonyHoWasHere. He knows what he did (being too good a friend)
“Raising a lot of questions already answered by my diss track”
Derek Heckman retweeted
Imagine being a loser in high school and you console yourself thinking that that popular cheerleader who was homecoming queen will never actually make something of herself and then that girl is Meryl Streep
Derek Heckman retweeted
This is peak advertising. You could pay ad guys a million dollars and they wouldn’t come up with something this good.
This is peak advertising. You could pay ad guys a million dollars and they wouldn’t come up with something this good.
Really amazing that the first time someone stood up and said “Hey I’m in charge now! God wants me to be in charge!” they didn’t just kill that guy
Derek Heckman retweeted
Man Who Thinks Drag Queens Are Groomers Asking 7-Year-Old Niece if She Has a Boyfriend: ow.ly/GgNN50LOj50
Playing this for the kids at circle time this morning
Playing this for the kids at circle time this morning
Derek Heckman retweeted
mel brooks signing on to produce elephant man:
Aaron Burch @Aaron__Burch
14K Followers 2K Following Author: A KIND OF IN-BETWEEN; YEAR OF THE BUFFALO; STEPHEN KING'S THE BODY; BACKSWING Editor: HAD; WAS (Words & Sports); Short Story, Long (on Substack)
Hannah Grieco @writesloud
26K Followers 7K Following writer, editor, prof. non-zionist Jew. your twitter mom. i love you, okay? 🌈 she/her #FreePalestine mentor @awpwriter editor @alansquirepub
Barlow Adams @BarlowAdams
20K Followers 10K Following Pie poet. Award-winning whiner. Writing in Best Small Fictions, Best of the Net, Wigleaf Top 50. Rejected by Tiger Beat
Tara Stillions Whiteh.. @MrsWhitehouse74
8K Followers 5K Following Writer + Filmmaker + Professor | THE YEAR OF THE MONSTER (@UnsolicitedP 2022) | THEY MORE THAN BURNED (ELJ 2023) | notable BAE 2022 | she/her
shome dasgupta @laughingyeti
8K Followers 5K Following Seagull & The Urn (@HarperCollinsIN) Tentacles Numbing (@thirtywestph) Pre-order: Atchafalaya Darling (@BellePointPress) Series Editor @Wigleaf Top 50 he/him
Will Musgrove @Will_Musgrove
3K Followers 2K Following Journalist, jazz enthusiast, plant dad, cartoon aficionado, and bibliophile. Larry David is my spirit animal. Website: https://t.co/hmmTTZThGh
Mac Crane they/them @mcrane_12
11K Followers 6K Following Queer, nonbinary mess. jock to writer pipeline. author of I KEEP MY EXOSKELETONS TO MYSELF (Catapult 2023) & A SHARP ENDLESS NEED (Dial, 2025)
Amy Barnes @amygcb
18K Followers 20K Following soon: @newterritorymag @gooseberrypie99 @loftbooks @stanchionzine @Little__Engines @hypertextmag @inkinthirds @raintaxireview | CHILD CRAFT @BellePointPress |
Melissa Llanes Brownl.. @lumchanmfa
6K Followers 5K Following @ilanot_review @TheArgyleLitMag @GooseberryPie99 AWP $ https://t.co/ystBY7NENq Hard Skin https://t.co/rwoOEn73DI Kahi&Lua https://t.co/zPtOzutAb4
Kathy Fish @kathyfish
26K Followers 11K Following Ploughshares @pshares | Best American Nonreq'd | @Coppernickel Editors' Prize | The Norton Reader | @Swamp_Pink | Flash Fiction America | @ElectricLit
Tommy Dean @TommyDeanWriter
14K Followers 10K Following Editor @fracturedlit @uncharted_mag_ Teach @DallasWriters @wordwestpress @PocketMFA Flash @MoonCityPress @monkeybicycle Editing services available!
Steve Edwards @The_Big_Quiet
13K Followers 9K Following essays @TheSunMagazine @Orion_Magazine @yalereview @lithub || BREAKING INTO THE BACKCOUNTRY, a memoir of solitude & wilderness. https://t.co/pbcXXUdk2w
Eric Scot Tryon @EricScotTryon
3K Followers 2K Following Rep’d by @clgslr at @ArtHouseLit / EIC: @flashfroglitmag / Work in: Wigleaf Top 50, Best Small Fictions, Best Microfiction / Soon: @MidAm_Review
The Science of Malark.. @MalarkeyBooks
4K Followers 2K Following get our books from us or asterism https://t.co/TMacUax0eh or bookshop! https://t.co/ZQzm3W3Tle
Brecht De Poortere @brecht_dp
7K Followers 4K Following 🧑🦱 "Some guy who ranks all the lit journals you’ve ever heard of" ✍️ @GrainLitMag @xraylitmag @BaltimoreEditor @BarrenMagazine @ConsequenceF & more
Francesca Leader @mooninabucket
11K Followers 11K Following '23 World's Best Short-Short Story Winner (@SoutheastReview), ‘22 Pushcart Nom, ‘23 BOTN & BSF Nom. @jjournalnyc/@havehadhavehad/@moonrabbitcandy/@fivesouthlit.
Carrie Beth Esposito @CarrieBEsposito
3K Followers 2K Following 📝in @GeorgiaReview @RuminateMag @LitroMagazine @LiteraryMama @monkeybicycle @msalignedbooks @malarkeybooks ✍️Fiction Ed @theweightj✨2023 Bread Loaf Scholar
Richard Mirabella🦌 @RPMirabella
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Laurie Marshall @LaurieMMarshall
4K Followers 2K Following Writer, artist, improv actor, grad student. I’m so tired. | Buy my book! Proof of Life https://t.co/Qo3FctJDWi
The Daily Drunk Mag @dailydrunkmag
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Meadow Prebish @MeadoPrebi
75 Followers 5K Following
Anna @Anna1518862
3 Followers 178 Following
Esmee Pritt @esmee_prit
2 Followers 167 Following
Fatimah Manka @FatimahMan70439
0 Followers 150 Following
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77 Followers 5K Following
Hannah Kludy @KludyHannah
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Yi Jun Phung (潘羿�.. @j4prez_
132 Followers 236 Following 🇲🇾 | Writer by day, still a writer by night. In that weird space between writing for startups @IterativeVC and fiction. | soon: @gonelawn @nationalflashfd
Angie Müller @sexybit__
123 Followers 583 Following
Solomon Forse @SolomonForse
2K Followers 2K Following editor/founder @HOWL_Society | horror writer | English teacher | 🤘🎸 in Crafteon | ✍️📖 in #IntoTheCryptsofRays #AnteriorSkies #HowlsFromTheWreckage
Nate Wolff @proffwolff
8K Followers 5K Following Highly respected Moby-Dickfluencer | Associate Director, The Frank Norris Center for the Dental Humanities
Amanda Austins HUB @ka58177
1K Followers 8K Following Professional Book Promoter | Connecting readers with top-tier stories & esteemed authors | Dedicated to championing literary excellence | Let's explore
T.K. Jürgens🖋️�.. @ToomasJurgens
5K Followers 5K Following An ordinary guy from somewhere in Northern #Europe, who likes to play with #words and writes mostly #scifi, but also a bit of #magical #realism and #fantasy.
Lena Gressmire @gressmire7140
46 Followers 5K Following
Ann Sterzinger @VraieSterzinger
421 Followers 823 Following Bestselling author for a few days, in a very specific category, like everyone who makes this ruined claim. https://t.co/nxfCuohkJb
Chloe N. Clark @PintsNCupcakes
5K Followers 4K Following Multimodal af. Collective Gravities, Escaping the Body, Every Song a Vengeance & more. Patterns of Orbit out now Co-EIC of @cottonxenomorph She/her
Paul Matteo @paul_matteo4
15 Followers 700 Following Unlock the mysteries. Illuminate your path with us ⭐️
dewey beach fc @shulsolari
539 Followers 938 Following like a hand carved from a shell | I run @newmundopress | order "en un auto arteriado" at https://t.co/rN6grrmzzK | NYC - BsAs
Andy Adams 📸 @FlakPhoto
130K Followers 71K Following Hi! I’m a curator + writer in Madison, Wisconsin, USA. I run FlakPhoto Projects, a community hub focused on conversations about photography and visual culture.
Breakingformpod @breakingformpod
265 Followers 201 Following A podcast of poetry & culture. Instagram @breakingformpod. Listen online at https://t.co/wrfzzLt6jg or wherever you get your podcasts.
Laura Leigh Morris @lauraleighwrite
1K Followers 1K Following Appalachian. Fiction writer. Author of JAWS OF LIFE (@WVUPress) and THE STONE CATCHERS (@KentuckyPress). Teacher. Prison advocate.
Laura Cooney @lozzawriting
4K Followers 5K Following Writer, MA (Eng Lang) Work in: @_voidspace_zine @press_roi @havehadhavehad @blackboughpoems, plus more. 2nd chap: No Trauma/No Drama: Aug 2024 @backroompoetry
ivy walter @iam_ivywalter
159 Followers 930 Following I’m here when I’m bored of being on Instagram #Queen
Kristin Merrilees @kristnmerrilees
2K Followers 2K Following writing about internet culture, media, and life online; @barnardcollege, arts & culture @columbiaspec tiktok/ig: kristinmerrilees she/her
eliza rose @elizarose159630
508 Followers 5K Following I am a Digital Marketing Expert with expertise in Shopify store design, GMC and GMB creation, book promotions, and publishing, music promotion, #BookPromotion
Lenticular Lit @LenticularLit
935 Followers 2K Following New online lit journal open to all vital forms of writing and art. Death Before Dead Language. [email protected]
After Dinner Conversa.. @AfterDinnerCon
34K Followers 33K Following Philosophy | Ethics Short Story Literary Fiction Publisher. Top 10 (Chill Subs) LitMag 2023, books, & podcasts. $ subscriptions (& Patreon) pay writers.
tienkei @tienkeiw
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Renante Abdon @AbdonRenan96553
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Chrissy Stegman @pimpledrose
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cranking super hard a.. @gaping__void
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Grace Bello @grace_land
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Amy DeBellis @lapis_lazuli11
2K Followers 675 Following ALL OUR TOMORROWS @CLASHBooks 2025 🖤 Words in @fracturedlit @ghostparachute @flashfroglitmag @monkeybicycle @pinchjournal One of #millionsmissing ♿️
Kaley Cuoco @KaleyC30203
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🔥Sarachi 🔥 @MsPunchy206
595 Followers 2K Following ~ professional procrastinator ~ chronic over thinker ~ not-so-dirty blonde ~ a silly little miscreant who mainly retweets shit ~ she/her ~ ♎️
Aaron Burch @Aaron__Burch
14K Followers 2K Following Author: A KIND OF IN-BETWEEN; YEAR OF THE BUFFALO; STEPHEN KING'S THE BODY; BACKSWING Editor: HAD; WAS (Words & Sports); Short Story, Long (on Substack)
Hannah Grieco @writesloud
26K Followers 7K Following writer, editor, prof. non-zionist Jew. your twitter mom. i love you, okay? 🌈 she/her #FreePalestine mentor @awpwriter editor @alansquirepub
Barlow Adams @BarlowAdams
20K Followers 10K Following Pie poet. Award-winning whiner. Writing in Best Small Fictions, Best of the Net, Wigleaf Top 50. Rejected by Tiger Beat
Tara Stillions Whiteh.. @MrsWhitehouse74
8K Followers 5K Following Writer + Filmmaker + Professor | THE YEAR OF THE MONSTER (@UnsolicitedP 2022) | THEY MORE THAN BURNED (ELJ 2023) | notable BAE 2022 | she/her
shome dasgupta @laughingyeti
8K Followers 5K Following Seagull & The Urn (@HarperCollinsIN) Tentacles Numbing (@thirtywestph) Pre-order: Atchafalaya Darling (@BellePointPress) Series Editor @Wigleaf Top 50 he/him
Will Musgrove @Will_Musgrove
3K Followers 2K Following Journalist, jazz enthusiast, plant dad, cartoon aficionado, and bibliophile. Larry David is my spirit animal. Website: https://t.co/hmmTTZThGh
Mac Crane they/them @mcrane_12
11K Followers 6K Following Queer, nonbinary mess. jock to writer pipeline. author of I KEEP MY EXOSKELETONS TO MYSELF (Catapult 2023) & A SHARP ENDLESS NEED (Dial, 2025)
Amy Barnes @amygcb
18K Followers 20K Following soon: @newterritorymag @gooseberrypie99 @loftbooks @stanchionzine @Little__Engines @hypertextmag @inkinthirds @raintaxireview | CHILD CRAFT @BellePointPress |
Melissa Llanes Brownl.. @lumchanmfa
6K Followers 5K Following @ilanot_review @TheArgyleLitMag @GooseberryPie99 AWP $ https://t.co/ystBY7NENq Hard Skin https://t.co/rwoOEn73DI Kahi&Lua https://t.co/zPtOzutAb4
Kathy Fish @kathyfish
26K Followers 11K Following Ploughshares @pshares | Best American Nonreq'd | @Coppernickel Editors' Prize | The Norton Reader | @Swamp_Pink | Flash Fiction America | @ElectricLit
Tommy Dean @TommyDeanWriter
14K Followers 10K Following Editor @fracturedlit @uncharted_mag_ Teach @DallasWriters @wordwestpress @PocketMFA Flash @MoonCityPress @monkeybicycle Editing services available!
K.C. Mead-Brewer is o.. @meadwriter
5K Followers 3K Following writer. heart's delight: Bmore, bats, & tattoos; @ClarionUCSD & @Tin_House '18; she/her 🌈🦇 rep @emshowers 🦇 mostly over in the sky now: @/kcmeadbrewer
Steve Edwards @The_Big_Quiet
13K Followers 9K Following essays @TheSunMagazine @Orion_Magazine @yalereview @lithub || BREAKING INTO THE BACKCOUNTRY, a memoir of solitude & wilderness. https://t.co/pbcXXUdk2w
Eric Scot Tryon @EricScotTryon
3K Followers 2K Following Rep’d by @clgslr at @ArtHouseLit / EIC: @flashfroglitmag / Work in: Wigleaf Top 50, Best Small Fictions, Best Microfiction / Soon: @MidAm_Review
The Science of Malark.. @MalarkeyBooks
4K Followers 2K Following get our books from us or asterism https://t.co/TMacUax0eh or bookshop! https://t.co/ZQzm3W3Tle
Brecht De Poortere @brecht_dp
7K Followers 4K Following 🧑🦱 "Some guy who ranks all the lit journals you’ve ever heard of" ✍️ @GrainLitMag @xraylitmag @BaltimoreEditor @BarrenMagazine @ConsequenceF & more
Francesca Leader @mooninabucket
11K Followers 11K Following '23 World's Best Short-Short Story Winner (@SoutheastReview), ‘22 Pushcart Nom, ‘23 BOTN & BSF Nom. @jjournalnyc/@havehadhavehad/@moonrabbitcandy/@fivesouthlit.
Carrie Beth Esposito @CarrieBEsposito
3K Followers 2K Following 📝in @GeorgiaReview @RuminateMag @LitroMagazine @LiteraryMama @monkeybicycle @msalignedbooks @malarkeybooks ✍️Fiction Ed @theweightj✨2023 Bread Loaf Scholar
Richard Mirabella🦌 @RPMirabella
6K Followers 5K Following Writer, reader, office potato. Author of BROTHER & SISTER ENTER THE FOREST - out now! Paperback out Aug '24. I'm queer. he/him. rep: @CRSRipley
Laurie Marshall @LaurieMMarshall
4K Followers 2K Following Writer, artist, improv actor, grad student. I’m so tired. | Buy my book! Proof of Life https://t.co/Qo3FctJDWi
Robert P. Ottone is u.. @RobertOttone
3K Followers 2K Following Represented by Rena Rossner at @dhliterary. I won a haunted house statue for my YA novel. I don’t check DMs. Active on Instagram: @robertottone
Jane Schoenbrun @sapphicspielbrg
27K Followers 415 Following i wrote + directed ‘we’re all going to the world’s fair,’ ‘i saw the tv glow” coming soon via A24 they/them
Shelby @ClassicShelb
5K Followers 426 Following I’m very well behaved and have never done anything wrong in my entire life
Brooks Otterlake @i_zzzzzz
80K Followers 935 Following Send me your address so I can visit you and explain my passions
Taylor Kay Phillips @TayKayPhillips
6K Followers 3K Following Writer at @lastweektonight Author of A GUIDE TO MIDWESTERN CONVERSATION https://t.co/h8TPYhCpsy Also!: https://t.co/ZweIDLzuZs
Hannah Williams @hkatewilliams
10K Followers 3K Following Writing in New Yorker, New Statesman, Guardian, Granta, Atlantic etc etc etc Commissions: [email protected]
Kath Barbadoro @kathbarbadoro
37K Followers 0 Following stand up comedy/podcasting/writing/posting on this website @whatatimepod @LCSpodcast @masterpancake. Next Paid Protest show February 2!
Jan Lee @Jennychu2
364 Followers 1K Following Musician, science fiction author, environmentalist, Hong Kong resident. EIC The Apostrophe @HKWCMagazine, author of Fairhaven - A Novel of Climate Optimism
The Apostrophe (NEXT .. @HKWCMagazine
481 Followers 935 Following Quarterly magazine of the Hong Kong Writers Circle. Submissions open for the first month of each quarter. EIC @Jennychu2
Yi Jun Phung (潘羿�.. @j4prez_
132 Followers 236 Following 🇲🇾 | Writer by day, still a writer by night. In that weird space between writing for startups @IterativeVC and fiction. | soon: @gonelawn @nationalflashfd
jo blair cipriano @joblaircipriano
2K Followers 1K Following I STAND WITH PALESTINE 🇵🇸 | winner @poetsorg prize. writer. survivor. bitch. stop trying to get me fired i don’t have a job.
Nate Wolff @proffwolff
8K Followers 5K Following Highly respected Moby-Dickfluencer | Associate Director, The Frank Norris Center for the Dental Humanities
Jason Christian @JasonAChristian
3K Followers 883 Following writer & teacher | co-host: Cold War Cinema podcast: https://t.co/zHzCet6cGY | words: @BitterSouth, @BWDR, @LAReviewofBooks, etc.
JP Relph @RelphJp
662 Followers 458 Following Cumbrian writer. Loves cats, zombies, microbes, forensics, tea. #WHQCommunity & @RetreatWest EIC of @trashcatlit, an online magazine for flash & short stories
TrashCatLit @TrashCatLit
194 Followers 78 Following The unexpected place for treasured words. Open for submissions on 1st June 2024. EIC: @RelphJp Listed on @chillsubs
Jade Wong-Baxter @jwongbaxter
2K Followers 927 Following literary agent at @GoldinAgency, formerly of Massie & McQuilkin. she/her.
🧃you or someone yo.. @hannahmsays
7K Followers 4K Following YOU OR SOMEONE YOU LOVE @atriabooks 2023 // abortion lover @partnersclinic // t1d // ✍️@ELLEmagazine @esquire @TIME @mcsweeneys @teenvogue + // rep @jwongbaxter
Abby Manzella @AbbyManzella
3K Followers 3K Following Writer, book critic, prof. MIGRATING FICTIONS @OhioStatePress. Words @3pennyreview, @LitHub, @StarTribune, @trampset, @havehadhavehad https://t.co/YabKKh4Dkh
Emily Daluga @emilydaluga
2K Followers 2K Following Writer. Editor at Chronicle Books. Aspiring crossroads demon. That annoying kid who never left her emo phase. Opinions are my own. she/her. 💖💜💙
Gianna Lakenauth @GLakenauth
2K Followers 674 Following Associate Editor at Knopf BFYR. Cat mom! Tea, books, wine. She/her. Opinions are my own.
T.K. Jürgens🖋️�.. @ToomasJurgens
5K Followers 5K Following An ordinary guy from somewhere in Northern #Europe, who likes to play with #words and writes mostly #scifi, but also a bit of #magical #realism and #fantasy.
sarah rose etter @sarahroseetter
9K Followers 2K Following you can see my heart burning in the distance✨ bylines in: @time @bombmagazine @thecut novels: the book of x, RIPE (@scribnerbooks) rep’d by @kentdwolf
People Selling Mirror.. @SellingAMirror
186K Followers 901 Following Sometimes when people sell mirrors online, they can't figure out how to get out of the way.
LJ Pemberton 📚 @ljabouttown
1K Followers 945 Following Resting friendly face. Curmudgeon. Book: STILL ALIVE (2024) she/they/bro https://t.co/lzIxnGo4F7
Ann Sterzinger @VraieSterzinger
421 Followers 823 Following Bestselling author for a few days, in a very specific category, like everyone who makes this ruined claim. https://t.co/nxfCuohkJb
Jess Harriton @JessHarriton
956 Followers 873 Following Into great storytelling, running, and all the food. Editor at Alloy Entertainment/@wbd, formerly @rebelgirlsbook and @PenguinTeen
P.L. McMillan 👁�.. @AuthorPLM
2K Followers 2K Following 🦇 Author, Artist, Blogger. 🦇 Debut collection: WHAT REMAINS WHEN THE STARS BURN OUT | Debut novella: SISTERS OF THE CRIMSON VINE
Solomon Forse @SolomonForse
2K Followers 2K Following editor/founder @HOWL_Society | horror writer | English teacher | 🤘🎸 in Crafteon | ✍️📖 in #IntoTheCryptsofRays #AnteriorSkies #HowlsFromTheWreckage
Julie Sevens @JulieSevens
535 Followers 573 Following Julie Sevens is a horror writer and an everything reader. She/her
Alyson Hasson @HassonAlyson
1K Followers 1K Following Canadian horror addict & writer • managing supply chain by day | scaring my friends & family by night • (she/her)
Chloe N. Clark @PintsNCupcakes
5K Followers 4K Following Multimodal af. Collective Gravities, Escaping the Body, Every Song a Vengeance & more. Patterns of Orbit out now Co-EIC of @cottonxenomorph She/her
Dr. Teo Shannon @TeoShannonPoet
1K Followers 643 Following He/Him. Queer HIV+ Latinx Poet and Linguist. Co-EIC at @cottonxenomorph. Currently @michiganstateu MA. @unlincoln @pacificuMFA @northwesternu alum. 🦂☀🐟🌙🦀⬆
Dr Gail Crowther @gail_crowther
2K Followers 952 Following Writer. Vegan. Feminist. Socialist. IG: https://t.co/l1Jwbp6En8 Agent: Carrie Kania, C&W Agency. New book: DOROTHY PARKER IN HOLLYWOOD (15 OCT)
Bill @20gaShotgun
975 Followers 652 Following Readin Ritin Rithmetic| I run @FarthestHeaven | BOOKS EDITOR OF @APCON_MAG | Eagle Scout
Tess Clark @tesslaceyclark
73 Followers 174 Following Baker and horror writer. Social media & design manager @NocturneMag. she/her
Morgan Wagle @MorganWagle
192 Followers 369 Following Writer of fantasy/horror. Co-editor of @NocturneMag She/her
Hannah Kludy @KludyHannah
492 Followers 1K Following Marketing by day, fiction & poetry writer by night. Work recently featured in @LogicNeuro @sledgehammerlit and @varietypack2. Edits for @NocturneMag. she/her
Nocturne Horror Liter.. @NocturneMag
2K Followers 1K Following We're that creepy new neighbor you're curious about. Interested in all things horror. Check out our website below! Subs closed, Issue 4 out Halloween 2024!
William M. McIntosh @moonliteciabata
491 Followers 857 Following Writer of drivel. Work @ Maudlin House, The /tƐmz/ Review, BarBar Lit, Night Picnic, The Lowestoft Chronicle, Roi Fainéant, Your Impossible Voice and others.
dewey beach fc @shulsolari
539 Followers 938 Following like a hand carved from a shell | I run @newmundopress | order "en un auto arteriado" at https://t.co/rN6grrmzzK | NYC - BsAs
Drew Dickerson @DrewLDickerson
969 Followers 1K Following criticism at @nplusonemag, @theavclub, @the_point_mag, Verso books blog
we gotta get more people on lithium
One thing about I find disorienting about media culture at the moment is that everyone seems to be simultaneously sucking up *and* talking shit. It used to be you had brown nosers and haters. Now everyone is some unstable and freakish combination of the two.
hey dude. that was a great riff, sorry everyone was talking over you. but don't worry, I'm gonna recreate the conditions necessary to get that riff off again. just be ready, k?
leave it up to harvard students to come up with a 26-syllable chant
“Harvard University we know what side you’re on. Remember South Africa, remember Vietnam.”
there’s two paths for the mumblecore generation: direct Barbie or run an illegal VHS rental shop out of the back of a pizza restaurant
Here’s Joe Swanberg with his traveling black market VHS rental store that the city of Chicago keeps trying to shut down
We need Psy to release a new dance pop banger and then our reversion back to 2014 will be complete.
I can’t stop thinking about this mug
Just started working for a European nonprofit they said I’ll start with 35 days annual leave
[taking you aside after your joke flops] You're almost out of the friend group
Often the works auteur critics call masterpieces are ones that seem to reveal the contempt of the director for the audience. (1963)
It's always been called gaslamping babe. What are you talking about
sex is great but have you ever said “put that away” when a man pulled out his wallet
Bored Riot Cops Break Up Calculus Class bit.ly/3WvhTe4
I have nothing but ill will and pure unadulterated hate for this man. I welcome the day he is no longer on this Earth. 12 album-length diss tracks incoming.
I’m hereby formally announcing my beef with @TonyHoWasHere. He knows what he did (being too good a friend)
this is so funny when you realize matt damon has no reason to be at the met gala except that jlo is co chairing and presumably bringing ben
Matt Damon & Luciana Barroso are on the way
Me (slightly louder): I said the last time Drake was under this much fire, it, it was from the, the Spanish Armada! Hot girl: No I heard you, I just found it contrived and sweaty.
i've never seen twin peaks i'm saving it for marriage
Alarming levels of Los Angeles on this sign
Correct.
a thing i love about a girl in any medium with a fuck ass bob is that girl will KEEP the BOB. Decades. Generations. once a fuck ass bob, always a fuck ass bob
Trends for United States
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