Huey @gooeyhuey
I specialize in terrible life choices Singapore Joined April 2011-
Tweets3K
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Followers2K
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Following2K
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Likes9K
Keep sex education in schools, don’t assume all kids have a creepy uncle to teach them.
My ideal date ends with me crying into a bucket of fried chicken because damn I love fried chicken.
If you can't beat them, judge them.
I can't wait to come up with another New Year's resolution to give up on.
There should be a day between Sunday and Monday for people to lie down and deal with their emotions.
I get my best recipe ideas when people are telling me about their diets.
Home is wherever I can shout "What the fuck?" instead of mouthing it silently.
Of course I've thought about where I would hide a dead body. I've been married.
I've got 99 problems on a list in my fanny pack. Oh, 100 problems.
Is it wrong to think that cheesecake is more dateable than most people?
I'd be worried about Ebola if I actually went out to meet people.
I can't get the newest update for my life to install.
I don't understand how trapdoors could ever go out of fashion.
To see someone's true colors, hit him with Draw 4 in a game of Uno.
Don't think I ever recovered from the trauma of that one time I woke up early for a run.
Some of us claim to be looking for love when we're actually looking for help.
Cherish your friends, for they help draw attention from you when running from the police.
Marcmywords @Marcmywords2
55K Followers 50K Following Tweeting Live From The Capital Of The Who Dat Nation. https://t.co/92vEozoAvo
Michelle says "Dance .. @RageMichelle
41K Followers 41K Following I am the short, female, old, Samuel L Jackson of Twitter. Only not rich or famous. Also, I can't act. I'm just good at saying motherfucker.![I must get back to whatever it is I do [stairlift spokesmodel] Casual user of https://t.co/4dKNoN1h4O](https://pbs.twimg.com/profile_images/1609498422804881409/EFubIHTU.jpg)
Mustard baby @HRTSMRT
6K Followers 3K Following I must get back to whatever it is I do [stairlift spokesmodel] Casual user of https://t.co/4dKNoN1h4O
John Lyon @JohnLyonTweets
18K Followers 9K Following This mind intentionally left blank. https://t.co/n3wD8D0ICA
Lathepey @lathepey40312
53 Followers 1K Following I live alone now and enjoy business, traveling, shopping, food and music. I have a calm personality and I hope we can be friends.
sgboii @_albirexboii
110 Followers 3K Following
Melvin of York @MelvinofYork
18K Followers 4K Following sometimes I convince myself that the world is merely an elaborate video game and the player controlling me is a total noob
Sonder @sonder_lust
6 Followers 92 Following Ideas that speak for the feelings we struggle to express.
Invisible Sharks @InvisibleSharks
490 Followers 554 Following A collective of cartilage and teeth bound together by wool.
PDGILBERT @PaulDGilbert
2K Followers 5K Following , Lost Files, Chronicles, Giant Rat of Sumatra' 'The Annals, Unholy Trinity, Four Handed Game, Illumination, Treasure of the Poison King, Tales of Darkness
MAD Security @MADSecurityLLC
2K Followers 3K Following MAD Security is a premier provider of information and cybersecurity solutions that combine technology, managed security services, support, and training.
SEOBoosting @SEOBoosting
11K Followers 13K Following Monthly #SEO services for businesses, startups, and entrepreneurs. Hire us @ https://t.co/3eW473AAYZ
StevenNguyen @Steavenonline
63 Followers 2K Following
HOPE Bathurst @HOPEBathurst
35 Followers 133 Following Hope Volleyball is a non-for profit, event management organization that raises funds for community-based charities and has fun doing so!
Hidden Tectonic @HiddenTectonic
161 Followers 1K Following
Megan N. Delossantos @Megan_Recipes
1K Followers 2K Following I wish share with you my favorite recipes.
totallynotweeaboo @incrediblemr_d1
34 Followers 386 Following perhaps its time to venture back into the darkness with cheetos and anime
Robbi Roberts @riya_mahajanz17
2K Followers 2K Following We can't plan life. All we can do is be available for it.
Wagner Chairs @posturechairs
64 Followers 626 Following Suffering from Spinal Discomfort, Back Ache, Shoulder Pain, Bad Back, Seating Discomfort, Lower Back Pain, Get Orthopedic chairs for Correct Posture. Ergonomic.
Women Bag @storewomenbag
143 Followers 598 Following
Nick Sodaro @9023e513607c41e
15 Followers 103 Following
Barbara Schaefer @BarbaraSchaefe8
20 Followers 81 Following
Santiago Pinto @santipinto44
229 Followers 1K Following
Master Gracey @mastergracey
685 Followers 680 Following “Participation trophies for Jedi, there are not.”-Lego Yoda
Ashley p @17ashpri99
697 Followers 1K Following https://t.co/LmYanhvDli I tweet really lame things that I think are great
Richard Welsh @richardwelsh
13K Followers 14K Following 8 miniature donkeys, 1 rescued dog, and 1 cat in the Ozark's of Arkansas. I'll follow you, from where the next great idea will come, ya'never know
Batman @Liittle_Bacon
498 Followers 811 Following
Bhupal Adhikari @AdhikariBhupal
110 Followers 1K Following
Iseeoddpeople @Imsohoppy
12K Followers 12K Following https://t.co/tS6K8FZzTE OEA 👻🚨the Michael Jordan of the Word Hunt🌻
Kai Nakelo @BoaTomasi
289 Followers 2K Following
willian leoardo @WillianMazz
13 Followers 106 Following
RafterManChild @kevinbry
3K Followers 4K Following 90% of the time I'm tweeting naked. Axe slinger @redwitchjohnny. Pizza-Fuzz-Beer-Repeat Suspicious of penguins.
Vee Worried About Our.. @vixy_vee
5K Followers 5K Following Writer, artist, soul-stealing photographer, puns & politics. Cleavage soothes the savage beast.
alexis cruech @alexiscruech
163 Followers 677 Following Un esquizofrenico social... viviendo una realidad que me llena más que la que el mundo me da... Dueño de Agartha Group Militante Republicano
Theresa Hambrice @thhambrice
2K Followers 3K Following Somewhere in Alabama https://t.co/AhCbXclp8F%
S.A.D. @dav1stated
278 Followers 569 Following
Marcmywords @Marcmywords2
55K Followers 50K Following Tweeting Live From The Capital Of The Who Dat Nation. https://t.co/92vEozoAvo
Michelle says "Dance .. @RageMichelle
41K Followers 41K Following I am the short, female, old, Samuel L Jackson of Twitter. Only not rich or famous. Also, I can't act. I'm just good at saying motherfucker.
Mustard baby @HRTSMRT
6K Followers 3K Following I must get back to whatever it is I do [stairlift spokesmodel] Casual user of https://t.co/4dKNoN1h4O
John Lyon @JohnLyonTweets
18K Followers 9K Following This mind intentionally left blank. https://t.co/n3wD8D0ICA
Darla @ddsmidt
38K Followers 13K Following I don't take any of this nonsense too seriously. Here's some links to my tweets: https://t.co/GSnadPOMAS
Cat From Nowhere @kv8
17K Followers 10K Following omnipresent in absentia, perchance frittering my time away on twitter. ok fine, X. .•| sui juris |•.
The Ciscokidder @TheCiscoKidder
36K Followers 12K Following 99% jokes, 100% Stay home dad, atheist, BLM, feminist, pro LGBTQ+ and left af. https://t.co/HpCbHaktUa
Karen Chee @karencheee
111K Followers 1K Following comedian & writer! @LateNightSeth @waitwait etc etc 👩🏻💻 she/hers
Calaquende @Calaquende
1K Followers 250 Following Somewhere in between trying to live my life and trying to run away from it.
ellie schnitt! @holy_schnitt
556K Followers 593 Following (e)girl next door• https://t.co/jHrUCSZWSj• podcaster!! • she/her • IG: ellie_schnitt • business inquiries: @unitedtalent [email protected]
sweatpants cher🔸 @House_Feminist
32K Followers 633 Following • unverified account • orca sympathizer • she/her • 🔴 alt @thot_feminist
mike ginn @shutupmikeginn
209K Followers 1K Following
Melvin of York @MelvinofYork
18K Followers 4K Following sometimes I convince myself that the world is merely an elaborate video game and the player controlling me is a total noob
dan mentos @DanMentos
88K Followers 652 Following
sarah schauer 🦂 @sarahschauer
548K Followers 711 Following you win some, you lose most . 🏳️🌈 she/they, lesbian.
Aparna Nancherla 🇵.. @aparnapkin
522K Followers 3K Following comedian person mostly here to feel bad. UNRELIABLE NARRATOR now out from @vikingbooks
James @CaucasianJames
1.4M Followers 789 Following i’m going to be the first nurse to make it to the nba
linc @lincnotfound
17K Followers 399 Following just a dude with a photoshop subscription and adderall addiction
Kevin Farzad @KevinFarzad
90K Followers 253 Following i make songs with @suresuremusic @valleyboytweet and others. i make little jokes on websites
Caitlin @caithuls
17K Followers 2K Following Art, code, comedy. I live in South Carolina and in my head
jo @whatsJo
48K Followers 968 Following b-side. I eat popsicles for breakfast. Trial ft error. 🤖rights. crusha bit, lil bit✨
Jelo @marclooshdzn
7K Followers 985 Following
Master Gracey @mastergracey
685 Followers 680 Following “Participation trophies for Jedi, there are not.”-Lego Yoda
Ashley p @17ashpri99
697 Followers 1K Following https://t.co/LmYanhvDli I tweet really lame things that I think are great
Richard Welsh @richardwelsh
13K Followers 14K Following 8 miniature donkeys, 1 rescued dog, and 1 cat in the Ozark's of Arkansas. I'll follow you, from where the next great idea will come, ya'never know
🀄 Chris 🇿🇦 @cbotha82
1K Followers 699 Following I am a philosophical entertainer, a coincidence of opposites, a wild card in the pack & a rascal 報復性熬夜
Batman @Liittle_Bacon
498 Followers 811 Following
Bhupal Adhikari @AdhikariBhupal
110 Followers 1K Following
Iseeoddpeople @Imsohoppy
12K Followers 12K Following https://t.co/tS6K8FZzTE OEA 👻🚨the Michael Jordan of the Word Hunt🌻
willian leoardo @WillianMazz
13 Followers 106 Following
RafterManChild @kevinbry
3K Followers 4K Following 90% of the time I'm tweeting naked. Axe slinger @redwitchjohnny. Pizza-Fuzz-Beer-Repeat Suspicious of penguins.
Vee Worried About Our.. @vixy_vee
5K Followers 5K Following Writer, artist, soul-stealing photographer, puns & politics. Cleavage soothes the savage beast.
g00phy @g00phy
326 Followers 1K Following
S.A.D. @dav1stated
278 Followers 569 Following
The hardest part of quitting cold turkey was that I was only two years away from my pension.
#FF @matsmoustache @Hueyhere @lama911 @anbrll00 @Boogbenghazi @LarryUlibarri @cleve66 @mastergracey
Bubble Butts lose their flavor after five minutes.
(Looks dog in the eyes) "This is where the heeling begins."
I thought a dude ranch was a really manly salad dressing.
A picture is worth a thousand words, but they don't have to be good ones.
Don't take it and other third-person pronouns seriously.
Women love bad boys and men love bad cholesterol.
Kim K. had her eyebrows bleached this week. She was going to bleach her asshole too, but it turns out Kanye is allergic to hair dye.
Maybe the reason why Bing isn't very popular is people don't want to use a search engine named after a crooner from the 1940's.
Still trying to figure out the connection between honouring our fallen soldiers and half price mattress sales.
Doritos flavored Mountain Dew sounds like the after effects of a 14 year old with a bad stomach virus.
I don't want to sound like a prude, but the only fisting I get excited about is getting the last dozen Pringles out of the can.
That Molotov guy must have been one bad ass dude to party with.
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