Samalamadingdong @Samalways
the last mastodon. Seattle Joined May 2012-
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NEXT ROBERT REDFORD MOVIE IDEAS -GUY FALLS IN LOVE WITH GIRL FOR 2 MAYBE 3 HOURS -BORING HEIST -MY LIFE IN ORANGE
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NEXT RON HOWARD MOVIE IDEAS: -HOW WE PUT SALT ON SALTINES -THE PEOPLE BEHIND LIFE CEREALS -ASPHYXIATION, THE DAVID CARRADINE STORY
The factory farm cow says MOOOAOAOAARTRKFUCKCUFUCKCUFKC OUCH OIUCH STOP PLEEEEZE FUCKCUCKC
In this country if u say lizards wove space time continuum and the universe is in a giant toad I would say yeah ok that's your belief!nohate
I am going to work and by "going" I mean smoking weed and "work" I mean the couch
How bout you put your debit card where your butthole is
Haters gonna hate and darth vaders gonna wear a helmet n chase you through the galaxy
When you're eating Craft meat and diet gravy with potato light.
Aw tweet tweet goddamn aww tweet tweet mo fu aaaahs
The first rule of game of thrones is we don't talk about game of thrones. Spoilers kill.
This planet is turning into Mars really fuckin quick
will someone please ask Jeb Bush if he plans to rig this election too?
Put a handful of dog food in a bag of chex mix and see if the drunks notice.
@Camerandom naw I was catering at the met market though and I'd smoke big blunts in the park on my 30
The factory farm cow says,"Mooooarrrrehhhhsddsfddkillmeejshshsjshshsjdhshsg"
You don't see spiders using plastic webs do you? They don't ever complain about weather or catch more flies than they need. Spiders are good
I've only used cornstarch on my but crack #realtalk
All of my fondest memories are of playing video games
Tausma @TausmaUN_u
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Aubrey13 @Aubrey131098618
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Theysmeast @theysmeast43916
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HouseOfBricksComedy @HOBComedy
352 Followers 2K Following Free comedy show at Pine Box Rock Shop the second Friday of every month at 8:00pm. Hosted by Gideon Hambright, Michael Good and Brandon Ream.
Amalia✨ @amaliatown
912 Followers 2K Following Half of @BookClubSEA, occasional irl streamer. Fluent in banter, conversational in all dialects of geek. Chop-busting is my love language. twitch/IG:@amaliatown
Rachel Hill @HaHaRachelHill
5K Followers 2K Following Writer, Comedian, Snake oil sales. Ask me about loyalty rewards & punch cards I use for free coffee. Will follow back if you make me feel special. ❄️
Couth Buzzard Comedy @CouthBuzzComedy
185 Followers 116 Following Couth Buzzard and Comedy Womb present the Couth Buzzard Comedy Show. The Comedy Womb promotes a safer environment for audiences and comics.
Khan Je @sajid52069
116 Followers 574 Following
Robert Mukarani @RobertMukarani
53 Followers 310 Following
Johnny Depp Cousin @DeppJeremy
144 Followers 1K Following I'm the thoughtful one and I like beaches and cheese and things of those nature. i have a best friend named Justin and I also give life advice for free.
Huggy Cris @ElCrisRod
460 Followers 613 Following I ain't choose to joke, jokin' chose me. Comic. Beer snob. Creator/Host of beer comedy podcast Hoppy Hour
The Magic Box @magicboxcomedy
283 Followers 1K Following A sometimes stand-up comedy revue hosted by @lucia_fasano @barbara_holm and @LewisTweetsGood. Beloved by all.
Rusty Vandeleigh @RustyVandeleigh
117 Followers 1K Following I am the Trailer park Ambassador of the World!!!
Columbia City Comedy @ColumbiaCitySho
492 Followers 1K Following Bringing you great comedy at a beautiful and historic Rock & Roll Theater. Co-Produced by Daryl Coxy @MoreCoxy & Mona Concepcion @kirida
The Comedy Nest @ComedyNestSEA
684 Followers 357 Following A womxn focused but not womxn exclusive stand up comedy open mic/showcase in Seattle at the Rendezvous every Tues @ 8. Sign up Sun [email protected]
John Hills @HISSPIRIT
21K Followers 46K Following
Joshua Selle @JoshuaSelle
114 Followers 558 Following 100 pounds of Love, 100 pounds of Power, some extra added weight.
Napoleon Dolemite @ARobComedy
727 Followers 784 Following Comedy Wizard King of the Zings Bookings: [email protected]
Tom Wolfe @tomwolfecomedy
117 Followers 404 Following Funny Fat ignorant brillant. Michigan native but currently resides in seattle. Comedian/writer/ booking: [email protected]
Sherwin Shayegan @sherpiggy
48 Followers 2K Following
jonnyrotten @JonathanRotten
500 Followers 4K Following
Robbie Schroeder @RobWSchroeder
512 Followers 605 Following Instagram: RobbieSchro • he/him • https://t.co/JOVCTKu3zk
Andy Miller @Andymiller425
2K Followers 232 Following
Think Tank @ThinkTankShowNY
83 Followers 80 Following A weekly comedy showcase featuring New York's best up and coming comedians. Hosted by @evanjokes
Ryan Casey @OhRyanCasey
536 Followers 616 Following sentient sub sandwich. jabber jaw (he/him) @gamegamepasspod podcast, radioLARP
Bogart's Showcase @BogartsShowcase
56 Followers 120 Following Bogart's Comedy Show is a free Stand-Up Comedy showcase featuring the best and most original talent in the Northwest.
Allison Lizotte @allison_lizotte
403 Followers 307 Following If there is a problem, yo, I'll solve it, check out the hook while my DJ revolves it.
jrl @jrla0000
136 Followers 285 Following
Evan Morrison @ClassicEvan
16 Followers 56 Following
Little Irish Jay @LittleIrishJay
69 Followers 206 Following I am wicked awesome. I crush pussy. I love Boston. I am 100% Irish. fucking fakkkk
Vote Sean for God-Kin... @seanriccio
871 Followers 1K Following A 'comedian'. Leftist power bottom. Pretty much world famous.
rustycomic @rustycomic
330 Followers 857 Following Rusty is a comic who will ensure you laugh yourself guilty and walk away grinning. A Washington native he is sure to rock your safe little world.
Danielle KL Gregoire @zerotofunny
465 Followers 211 Following Storyteller. Comedian. Founder and former producer of the Comedy Womb. Current producer of Seattle's Moth storySLAM.
Ask Albert @ask_albert
21 Followers 113 Following The new hit TV show solving your problems every second of the day! Tweet us your problems for a shoutout :)
mike baskett @BaskettCase18
136 Followers 272 Following
Punchline Shows @PunchlineShows
330 Followers 695 Following FREE Comedy Shows at Jai Thai on Broadway in The Heart of Seattle's Capitol Hill Neighborhood Every Tuesday, Friday, and Sunday.
Vote Sean for God-Kin... @seanriccio
871 Followers 1K Following A 'comedian'. Leftist power bottom. Pretty much world famous.
SportsCenter @SportsCenter
42.0M Followers 690 Following Sign up for ESPN! https://t.co/DgtvQmNHp0 Questions about your subscription? https://t.co/qNSh3Hnwsz
Allison Lizotte @allison_lizotte
403 Followers 307 Following If there is a problem, yo, I'll solve it, check out the hook while my DJ revolves it.
FRANCE 24 English @France24_en
469K Followers 1K Following 🌍 The French international news channel live 24/7 from Paris - Follow us for top stories on #business, #politics and #sports - 🔴 Breaking Alerts: @BreakingF24
Shannon K @ShannonKoyano
273 Followers 131 Following
Tiny Starks @MrJeremyHorn
1K Followers 562 Following I was homecoming king in high school. My therapist calls this 'my peak'. I currently live with your mom and her cats whom she refers to as her real children.
jrl @jrla0000
136 Followers 285 Following
Magwood @davonmagwood
31K Followers 15K Following Dad. Hotdog Enthusiast. Retired Skateboard Guy. Democratic Candidate for Pa 55.
Morgan Scott Preston @MorganSPreston
270 Followers 673 Following Standup Comedian, Actor, Writer, Photographer
Think Tank @ThinkTankShowNY
83 Followers 80 Following A weekly comedy showcase featuring New York's best up and coming comedians. Hosted by @evanjokes
Lord Thotty @carterthefly
854 Followers 728 Following lord thotty the westseattle thot lord lord thotty papi flacco moreno the the master of the friendzone purse #thraxxhouse legend
YUNG PILLZ @YungPillz_2600
106 Followers 38 Following We$t Bracken! Its Yung Pillz #YungOutlawCEO #MollyMan n bitch dnt call my fone unless u tryna get dis paper #2600Block *fuckwitme* #IG: @YungPillz
B Real ™ @B_Real
262K Followers 2K Following Member of Cypress Hill and host of “The Dr Greenthumb Show”https://t.co/Y0Q745awH9
Dustin Kern @ilikestarz
19 Followers 61 Following
Phil Fox @LikeTheAnimal
497 Followers 344 Following Funny guy. Juggler. Hair enthusiast. I'm world class at nothing but being myself.
TheComedyUnderground @Com_Underground
842 Followers 119 Following Seattle's heritage comedy club - comedy 7 nights a week!
BILL BELLAMY @BILLBELLAMY
289K Followers 1K Following The Official Bill Bellamy Tweet Spot! A Fun Place To Get Your Laugh On!!
Rodger Lizaola @RodgerComedy
758 Followers 2K Following New album I am not a Robot available on all digital platforms link to iTunes https://t.co/hjmv3dw0zc. So follow me on things. https://t.co/Ao0mbmYgjO
Hari Kondabolu @harikondabolu
115K Followers 611 Following Comic from Queens, living in Brooklyn. New special “Vacation Baby” now available for FREE on YouTube: https://t.co/c8PW0dtsQo
Huggy Cris @ElCrisRod
460 Followers 613 Following I ain't choose to joke, jokin' chose me. Comic. Beer snob. Creator/Host of beer comedy podcast Hoppy Hour
Kermet Apio @kermetapio
1K Followers 638 Following Comedian, Dad, Husband, Amateur Philanthropist, Player To Be Named Later, Club Card Member, Apologist.
Mike Birbiglia @birbigs
547K Followers 1K Following My new standup special, The Old Man & The Pool, is available on Netflix. Currently on tour in a city near you.
Brandon Wardell @BRANDONWARDELL
505K Followers 2K Following Mr Brandon / https://t.co/gE4iteC3Ib • mailing list / shows: https://t.co/P4fJq8GIqQ
Rosalie Gale @ugly_sauce
502 Followers 152 Following I'm an ex-stand up comedian, waterproof Shower Art maker, bridge playing blogger who is currently obsessed with German board games and cheeky embroidery.
t.j. miller @nottjmiller
253K Followers 961 Following Like a raccoon with a blueprint. Died in 2010 of an AVM. “The Crowd Sorcerer Tour”- tickets on my website. Have you seen Gorburger? Look it up.
Chris D'Elia @chrisdelia
805K Followers 815 Following Twitter is free. You want good shit, pay for it. https://t.co/AVTBrxfbC4
Todd Barry @toddbarry
272K Followers 1K Following YouTube: DOMESTIC SHORTHAIR Netflix: SPICY HONEY Prime: THE CROWD WORK TOUR Book: THANK YOU FOR COMING TO HATTIESBURG https://t.co/AgBudWd5Ff
mike baskett @BaskettCase18
136 Followers 272 Following
listen fat tuesday�... @OhDuarte
2K Followers 2K Following Sunshine goth. Gramsci/her. Accidental Iraq Army Vet, 04-05. I sleep in jeans & follow the 🌹. #m4a #cancelstudentdebt #nomorewar
tommy toiletman, atto... @tveite
3K Followers 2K Following i am a real life lawyer and right now i'm very busy working on an important case
Emmett Montgomery @emmettfungomery
2K Followers 2K Following I make jokes and stories and puppets and stuff and sound my decembers exploring the fun cosmic nightmare of Christmas as the “santanist” Sugar Plum Gary
Xung Lam @xunglam
2K Followers 2K Following My name is pronounced Sung. I am a comedian from Seattle.
ʞɔiwbɿɒH ꙅiɿʜ... @hardwick
2.1M Followers 677 Following Stand-upper, Zombie Therapist, Ball Dropper, Ravenclaw, @Nerdist Inventor and ID10T
whyarewehere @abirdisadino
164 Followers 691 Following
Daniel Isherwood @DanielIsherwood
292 Followers 536 Following Comedian. Just trying to do good and stay hydrated. He/him.
Jim Gaffigan @JimGaffigan
2.6M Followers 3K Following Male Model. “Live from Old Forester: The Bourbon Set” https://t.co/wvEONXI5na https://t.co/39GfjGbHaW
Elizabeth Pilcher @Eliz_Pilcher
1K Followers 2K Following USC Grad | Writing Nerd | Donut Aficionado
Maria Bamford @mariabamfoo
188K Followers 698 Following Handcrafted Stand-Up Comedy Since the 1900’s ✈️ I'M ON TOUR!
Zakarius Wells @CoachZWells
997 Followers 406 Following Father, USAF, Author #NBH #IAJ 1 John 4:4 #BTWD #TMC🏁 #KB24💜💛 #DCW
Jackie Sechler @JackieSechler
87 Followers 132 Following Jewish. Historian, Comedian. Harry Potter junkie.
jazaloo 💘💌 @Jazaloo
834 Followers 2K Following hi, I have a masters degree in law. e-delinquent 🌸✨(she/her) Leftist politics, sex positivity, all things cute.
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