Matt Bellassai @MattBellassai
gay and overwhelmed. author of EVERYTHING IS AWFUL the book. come see me tell jokes on tour. he/him linktr.ee/mattbellassai New York City Joined January 2011-
Tweets23K
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Followers330K
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Following779
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Likes13K
unfortunately i need a man who texts me so much i get sick of him
well it happened to me (i ate all the treats i got for myself too quickly and now it’s time for another and i am treatless)
what if i started a parenting advice vlog as a gay without children? just letting everyone know what they’re doing wrong etc.
seeing a beautiful man with a mullet and a fat ass in the airport can actually be so healing to the spirit
the last tissue in the box should be embarrassed with itself, looking all raggedy and yellow like that, ending the box on a completely sour note
normalize telling pilots they did a bad job after a bumpy flight
my well being is actually entirely dependent on whether i have someone to flirt with or not
so jealous of comedians who made it their thing to sit on stage. standing for a whole hour? truly one of the worst parts of the job
i’m gonna look directly at the eclipse just to spite the haters
if any handsome man wants to let me curl up on his lap and let me recount the 600 page book on Queen Elizabeth I i just finished, just lmk
my favorite genre of tiktok is ‘woman who turns her hot european husband into a laughingstock’
still thinking about how i went to the times square raising canes in december and they had the original buddy the elf costume on display for some reason?????
for my mental health, i’ve decided not to acknowledge the existence of any hot people today
with every relisten of Cowboy Carter, i get dangerously closer to planning a barn wedding with mason jar lights and hay bales for seats
traitors australia season 2…….. a level of utter stupidity unseen on television perhaps ever before
nothing more humbling than posting a thirst trap for a single person’s attention and then they don’t engage with it. like guess i’ll fill my coat pockets with rocks and wade into a river?
it’s so unnatural seeing Beyoncé meeting fans. it’s like seeing jesus at the mall
“you still liking it out in new york?” - my extended family every time i see them after living in new york for 11 years
honoring jesus’s triumph over evil (?) by testing my stomach’s strength against a tray of deviled eggs
Brett S. Vergara @BrettSVergara
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Dylan Hafer @thedylanhafer
8K Followers 683 Following director of entertainment @betchesluvthis @bravobybetches ✨ he/him
Veronica 💁🏻�.. @VeronicaRuckh
17K Followers 478 Following Internet has-been. Greedy bisexual. Occasional funny person. Views are Kris Jenner’s.
Awkward Girl @AwkGrlPrblms
52K Followers 467 Following I'm like Cady Heron meets Taylor Swift, but without the musical talent or ex-boyfriends. [email protected]
evrrybody loves kelli @NYC_Blonde
59K Followers 186 Following kelli but forever nyc blonde 🗽 painfully average looking with a great sense of humor ✨
auntunicorn @auntunicorn
1K Followers 741 Following Treat people with kindness and look for the positive in the world. If you can’t change else, you can always change your way of looking at things. 💜
🍌ηα∂ine🍓�.. @Nadine_E82
1K Followers 388 Following Flowers are treated delicately, they are viewed as beautiful no matter their size, shape and color--treat yourself like this! she/her
🍆🍆🍆💦🚂�.. @tress30
497 Followers 2K Following Back on my bullshit. She/Her. estrella30 on AO3 https://t.co/RgUdRbBOok
Kristen @mskrst3n
701 Followers 1K Following harry styles, *nsync, 90’s r&b, ny giants, karma & sarcasm. you can’t take a joke? please see yourself out. this is why windshields are bigger than rear views.
Cassie Niespodziewans.. @chasspod
528 Followers 690 Following Chicago is my boyfriend. ZouZou is my dog. 1989. she/her
betty @bettyalavandero
1K Followers 483 Following social media specialist @ 📦 // @uofsc alum latina // i watch a lot of movies, eat a lot of Thai food, and read a lot of books // she-her
~ @taurusenergy444
52 Followers 133 Following
Joshua Huffman @joshiehuff
8 Followers 18 Following
Bradley Talbert @bradley832
15 Followers 47 Following
Zack Maddox @zzmadd1410
3 Followers 43 Following
James @bman1010101
273 Followers 3K Following
A @letsgorangers84
1 Followers 167 Following
Caroline @CarolineEmilyxx
705 Followers 3K Following ATLANTA! #spanko 💜DM for content collaboration especially SPANKING💞 #contentcollab #spanking #discipline
Jimmara Bonds @JimmaraB
8 Followers 85 Following
SANDY “DreamCatcher.. @dream072315
36 Followers 464 Following
matt☭ @ElonIsNaziScum
58 Followers 661 Following Elon suspended my account just because I told the Nazi to go shoot himself so I had to start a new one he/him
Azeez hammed @Azeezha74241180
10 Followers 135 Following
VN CHON TECH @vn_chon82248
13 Followers 97 Following
Juan Carlos ★ @jcgy
1K Followers 991 Following Duele más caerle mal a un perrito que a una persona. La 🍕 sabe mejor al día siguiente. Lost in translation.
Amanda Whitlow @yourredheadfren
0 Followers 5 Following
VIP Preferred @vip_preferred
47K Followers 4K Following e-check provider for casinos and interactive gaming sites across North America. Find a location near you. ⬇️ 21+ #vippreferred #vipmobility @pavilionpayment
Jose Coronado @JoseCor63773190
756 Followers 5K Following Hola amigos bienvenido a nuestra amistad dios me los bendiga diariamente
A thinker, Disruptor .. @mansursuleiman
344 Followers 3K Following Sustainable Investment & Finance Consultant, PPP, Infrasructure
Adam B. @penguinz
107 Followers 159 Following This thing is some kind of hourglass... it's mesmerizing, but at the same time, you are possibly letting time slip away.
Rashidah @r_bashir
144 Followers 1K Following influencer marketing, social media, editorial & aud dev @discoveryid and @travelchannel | crocheter in training | #HoyaSaxa 🎾🏂
Ryzakill @ryanwllms99
682 Followers 2K Following
NKCChief @NKCChief
749 Followers 2K Following Business Owner. Outdoor Enthusiast. Chiefs STM. Longhorn Football Apologist. Food Snob. Northlander
💖💡 🥰💖MrsP.. @mtheaven2012
797 Followers 2K Following I choose healing. I choose the Light. I choose love. I choose peace.
Christ Jayson @christ_ben010
60 Followers 465 Following Welcome to my world🇺🇸🌏Writer ✍️, Novelist📚, Entrepreneur😄, and Social Activist. I love Music 🎶 and Movies🎬. Open for conversation🗣 and Collaboration💯.
mmk.365 @mmk365_
126 Followers 836 Following Made this account in error. I use this account to follow news, https://t.co/1iyPewKh8p're welcome to follow me at Mmk_247. #resist
ÉTICO HACKER @ETIC0HACKER
126 Followers 1K Following CERTIFIED ETHICAL HACKER AVAILABLE FOR HIRE DM NOW! telegram chat https://t.co/lZbIlGBC6C OR Facebook https://t.co/sbisXVtWvF
Dani Sloane @im_dani_sloane
4 Followers 28 Following Don't tell anyone but I'm a very naughty girl 😘
este @Meaveslays
11 Followers 54 Following
Alidou Yogo @alido85307
81 Followers 1K Following
Laura Rene Marks-True.. @Reallaurtrueman
436 Followers 1K Following Official Laura Rene Marks-Trueman on X. Manager for Lillee Jean @officialLilleeJ and THIS is my ONLY official account.
Automotive @Automotivede_
109 Followers 497 Following Welcome, we present to you in this magazine everything new in the world of cars #Automotive
Scott Cisneros @Cisneros80Aztec
5 Followers 68 Following
Meaghan McKeon @meej007
166 Followers 814 Following Producer. New Yorker. Welcome to the 90’s Mr. Banks. she//her.
Draco Titillandus @DracoTitill
140 Followers 3K Following I started with my girlfriend a new Harry Potter podcast come and join: Spotify: https://t.co/NPdN8Racjn
Halle @Halle425636502
0 Followers 41 Following
Mary K Yacob @yacob_mary_1968
13 Followers 166 Following
ᴊᴀʀᴠɪs ★ @kushirejarvis
851 Followers 6K Following Songwriter • Music Producer | 23 | Obsessively curious.
Jesse David Fox @JesseDavidFox
14K Followers 1K Following @GoodOnepodcast creator/host. COMEDY BOOK out now! Please buy!
Tom Smyth @Tom_Smyth_
2K Followers 985 Following headline contributor @theonion, @reductress | writing in @vulture, @thecut, @latimes, @teenvogue, @mcsweeneys, @newyorker, and fan letters to Ina Garten
Dan White @atdanwhite
155K Followers 2K Following comedy writer | reps: Framework Entertainment | I perform weekly on @improvisdead
Jake Williamson @jakewilliamson4
24K Followers 2K Following Making a difference for LGBT+ in sport⚽️🏃🏽♂️🏳️🌈Ambassador @stonewalluk Fitness/dog/running content! Online training📚 @jakewrunning Pro Hyrox Athlete
the sleepiest girl in.. @soyjoseuseche
2K Followers 1K Following bailando | GLAAD LIST 2022 Select | reps: Trent Hubbard, @echolakeent (literary/talent), DGRW (talent)
Amelia Dimoldenberg @ameliadimz
318K Followers 1K Following CEO of Chicken Shop Date and very serious journalist
mkb @MatthewKBegbie
9K Followers 399 Following visiting if not in hell 📍 tv writer/ playwright/ secret third thing currently: @elsbethcbs formerly: @gossipgirl #schmigadoon
james @jms_tny
6K Followers 629 Following
Bobby @B_McC2
32K Followers 3K Following Ohio State fan. Sometimes NSFW. Living my life one day & one Mariah Carey song at a time. Shorter in real life.
parsley, sage, rosema.. @tiredgaynomad
8K Followers 1K Following “Old man yells at cloud” meme, but make it sexy
Jake Nevins @jhnevins
4K Followers 1K Following digital editor @interviewmag // writing in @nytmag @newyorker @nybooks @thebafflermag @nymag
matt @mattxiv
411K Followers 154 Following queer jew w very long nails, host of a bit fruity, he/they
ryan @OhItsRyan
8K Followers 2K Following Crippling anxiety but make it fashion. | Video person @voxmedia | opinions are my own | NYC 📍
Matt vs. the relentle.. @mcs_phd
4K Followers 2K Following Patent law, chemistry, amateur astrophotography | DC | homosexual 🏳️🌈 | views are my own
scott @toadlikesquab
2K Followers 412 Following
ashley ray🍦ice cre.. @theashleyray
64K Followers 3K Following tv writer/comedian/host of @tvisaypod. [email protected] reps: brillstein
Orrin 🫨 @orrinbroseph
34K Followers 3K Following The snack that smiles back. IG-orrinyougladididntsaybanana
Zach @ZachNewYork
2K Followers 483 Following Hailing from the House of New York, twitter child of @JakeNewYork
pretty WOAHman @prettyWOAHman
6K Followers 920 Following 6 ft tall, 12 feet wide. indifferent to pronouns, as long as you’re talking about me. OnlyFans coming soon..
silly billy @badboybmar
15K Followers 3K Following most smartest in my family | digital media advertising | NYC | 🏳️🌈 | he/him | silly 🪿
Miss Michelle Buteau @MichelleButeau
57K Followers 3K Following ✨Just type my name in the search engine on Netflix boo✨
nell mescal @nellmescal_
19K Followers 228 Following Killing Time & Warm Body out now 🤗My Debut Ep Can I Miss It For A Minute out 3rd of May🧚🏼✨ [email protected]📧
zach silberberg @zachsilberberg
53K Followers 4K Following tv in new york. no views my own. my birthday is this year
coleman spilde @colemanjspilde
3K Followers 764 Following entertainment critic @thedailybeast ⌨️ | co-host of ‘didn’t i kill you?’ 💌 | known annoyance/lover 💖 ig: colemanspilde #blacktranslivesmatter
it’s chewsday @harrytuesday
21K Followers 162 Following “but you know, it’s chewsday. it’s chewsday right? yeah it’s chewsday” - grammy award winner harry styles (2020)
NYT Wirecutter @wirecutter
132K Followers 822 Following We’ve been personally testing and reviewing products since 2011 to help you shop smartly. When you buy through our links, we may earn a commission.
Jordan Tannahill @TannahillJordan
6K Followers 862 Following Playwright, novelist, author of The Listeners and Liminal. The Listeners adaptation forthcoming on @BBCOne
we need a regular iced coffee line like we have for TSA pre check
*taps the sign*
If he didn’t have a big d*ck not one of you 🚬 would give him a second look in the street I’m so tired
This hat is calling out to me like the green goblin mask
me: what should i dooooo nyt cooking: beany leeky greens with greeky rampy beans
Trish? At Christmas? Forget it! She gets everybody a gift.
Pecker: I recognize the name, but... Prosecutor: She was your assistent? Trish? Pecker: Yes. I only called her Trish. Prosecutor: Not remembering the name of your assistance, that's not going to go over well. What about Mr. Trump: Pecker: He's there, blue suit
i'm having my mom pick me up actually
you just arrived at the party. which cup are you grabbing😭?
back up a little my god...
This guy would’ve loved Twitter.
I can't stop laughing at this image
Just stormed out of “Cats” with my sons Bairon & Tannis because of how much the Judi Dench cat licks her own asshole. Once I’d understand, but she acts like the thing is a goddamn buffet. Tannis is still crying
Legendary tenor Luciano Pavarotti kept secret stashes of pasta to snack on while performing trib.al/EKgBASs
Streaming consolidation cannot come quickly enough.
whenever i eat a brownie i just pretend it’s half of an even bigger brownie. look at me, only eating half a brownie. health goddess. wellness queen. walking chickpea.
@MattBellassai in some ways tho I would enjoy (just to see it) going back to the studio system era where teams controlled everything like puppeteers.… very toxic but kinda fun for the people in control and no one else! Imagine how simple it would be if everything was Truman Showed wow
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