Zach Zimmerman @zzdoublezz
comedian, author -- the new yorker, late late show, vulture comic to watch, 🌸 SPRING TOUR 🌸 on sale now linktr.ee/zzdoublezz Brooklyn, NY Joined February 2009-
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cast me as scooby so I can reverse-explain why every time I make love I announce “it’s scooby time!!!!” before I give head
cast me as scooby so I can reverse-explain why every time I make love I announce “it’s scooby time!!!!” before I give head
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FOUR TICKETS TO CHALLENGERS PLEASE
FOUR TICKETS TO CHALLENGERS PLEASE
cast me as scooby you cowards
cast me as scooby you cowards
Zach Zimmerman retweeted
It’s the one year anniversary of the worst thing that’s ever happened to me
Happy one-year anniversary to my book! If you want someone to send you a nice message every few days for the rest of your life, I recommend publishing a book!
Zach Zimmerman retweeted
A nasty & quick-witted read off between two butch queens. I live.
A nasty & quick-witted read off between two butch queens. I live.
Day 6 of my @feeldCo being unusable due to technical issues and not my personality 😊
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Drew Barrymore interviews everybody like they have coke and she doesn’t have any money.
one of the most pathetic parts of deleting old photos: seeing how many times you went to snooze your alarm but accidentally took a screenshot instead
Like father like daughter 😌
I’m single if you need a wife and step mother. Hello. My god.
Like father like daughter 😌
Meal prepping some cheeseburgers for this week
i can think of 1 instance where a rape joke is funny
There are 0 instances when rape jokes are funny or acceptable. ZERO.
our time has come 🌭
30-40 hotdog vendors stormed Coachella after a fence toppled over
@zzdoublezz I will never look at fire escapes the same again. Happy book anniversary. 📕
Somebody said I look like “Gay Tupac” 🥴
It’s the one year anniversary of the worst thing that’s ever happened to me
@zzdoublezz Sigh...they grow up so fast.
Gosh this is so true. In fact Jerry Seinfeld has a 17-point list of rules to make comedy funny again. Google “Jerry Seinfeld 17” to learn more
i’m sure the challengers score is great if you’re not trying to WATCH A MOVIE during it
Had an accident yesterday (I’m fine). I call the cops immediately. The gentleman that caused it was speaking with me fine but when the cops got there all of a sudden he didn’t speak English. So I switched to Spanish then it was 😧. Like cmon man don’t play on my face now
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