Periwinkle Jones @peachesanscream
Former blue check. The study of bios is called biology. #selfisolating since 1983. instagram.com/the_poole_hous… Plumstead, England Joined July 2009-
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Following2K
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There's nothing more annoying than accidentally clicking an item on Vinted & it changing your whole algorithm. "We saw you liked looking at a hideous jumper! Here's more hideous jumpers! You like that? You like that, huh? You like that more than stuff in your saved searches?"
Had to say goodbye to an old friend today- the knickers I was wearing when I gave birth to my firstborn After 7+ years of faithful service the elastic haemorrhaged in Poundland causing them to fall to the floor. They're survived by 2/5 of their packmates & a ratty dressing gown
I dumped my first boyfriend for wearing running tights and fingerless gloves. No regrets.
I dumped my first boyfriend for wearing running tights and fingerless gloves. No regrets.
Obviously haven’t learnt my lesson: wore turquoise dungarees today and my three year old asked me ‘why are you dressed like a hospital doctor’ 😭😭
Don’t know why but my husband using the defrost setting on the microwave gives me the ick Just put it in on 5 minutes on high, like a man
Nothing better than the feeling of pretending to be asleep in the car so that you get carried inside at the end of your journey. Totally worth the 1* Uber rating.
Question of the week: is there a stranger that you ever think about or won’t forget ? Be it for good, bad or funny reasons?
guy wearing a Ferrari baseball cap and jacket walking towards the Ferrari merchandise shop only to find out it had recently closed down, to the amusement of his pals
guy wearing a Ferrari baseball cap and jacket walking towards the Ferrari merchandise shop only to find out it had recently closed down, to the amusement of his pals
@peachesanscream I was once chatting to another parent in the park. Whilst we were talking, she pulled a huge bag of rocket out of her handbag and started eating like a bag of crisps, in huge handfuls
Science lesson and we were being tested on the periodic table, my teacher pointed and I shouted “copper!”…then a policeman walked in. Major scenes. Will never forget.
Science lesson and we were being tested on the periodic table, my teacher pointed and I shouted “copper!”…then a policeman walked in. Major scenes. Will never forget.
The man in a Rolls Royce Silver Ghost beside whom I pulled up at a stoplight and when I asked “is that a Rolls Royce Silver Ghost” he instead opened his glove box and replied “May I offer you some Grey Poupon”
The man in a Rolls Royce Silver Ghost beside whom I pulled up at a stoplight and when I asked “is that a Rolls Royce Silver Ghost” he instead opened his glove box and replied “May I offer you some Grey Poupon”
The man walking away from a supermarket checkout eating a massive block of cheese like a Mars bar and nodding to himself
The man walking away from a supermarket checkout eating a massive block of cheese like a Mars bar and nodding to himself
@peachesanscream Really angry looking but tiny old man who grabbed my shoulder once when I was walking through town and told me to "look at the size of the moon" the moon did look fucking massive and me him and another guy he had grabbed just stood looking at it for a bit and all went on our way.
I have no ideas why this thread has suddenly reactivated but these stories are probably one of my favourite things on Twitter
I have no ideas why this thread has suddenly reactivated but these stories are probably one of my favourite things on Twitter
@peachesanscream Kids are brutal. Earlier on my daughter gave a scathing review of the fashion choices of a boy in her class: “he dresses like someone’s uncle who’s also a zookeeper”
We’re currently fostering the world’s most criminal cat and this is a thread of his various exploits over the last month.
Moose Allain Ꙭ @MooseAllain
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My friends are staying in a hotel that has a wine wall and even though I am, for now at least, not drinking, I'm convinced I'm going to make a great landlord. Also, Steve is going to make a great pub dog.
Hi I’m in this picture and you posted without my consent can you please take it down
A very happy Friday to everyone except the guy with the rucksack at King’s Cross, who went out of his way to bump into me on a largely deserted concourse. That, or my secret invisibility skills are especially well-honed today…
Forever screaming that 2020 babies were unphased by the global situation. It was the 2016-17 and older babies who lost the playdates and went to the store for the first time in 2 years as a 5yo and had no clue how to behave in public
Delighted to pick up a Helping The Community award for the Friends Of Northwood Recreation Ground from @Hillingdon Council. This recognition means a great deal for our amazing group of volunteers - and I dearly hope it inspires others to get involved. #HillingdonCommunityAwards
what if you had a boyfriend (imagine) who was doing the marathon and you went to meet him at the end and you saw him cobbling towards you, shivering in this little tin foil shawl and you got the ick
@disappoptimism Have cheered on the marathon runners the odd year, and let’s just say I have seen enough bleeding nipples to last a lifetime
Bloke I used to work with in the city literally shit himself as he crossed the finishing line in crippling agony; over the next 5 days some of his toenails dropped off & his girlfriend who was waiting for him at the finishing line stopped returning his texts
what if you had a boyfriend (imagine) who was doing the marathon and you went to meet him at the end and you saw him cobbling towards you, shivering in this little tin foil shawl and you got the ick
Thank you to the Mumsnet poster who absolutely gets what I was trying to do with No One Talks About This Stuff ❤️
Having spent all weekend spring cleaning the kitchen, I will say that nobody ever actually finishes a jar of chutney and nobody really likes it. Let's stop pretending to be homesteaders in 1870, and cancel f***ing chutney.
Those old bints think “free childcare” means free childcare. For reference: it’s a handful of free hours that makes our monthly bill £1400 instead of £1800 for one child.
@peachesanscream Microwaves only need 1 button, which adds 1 minute every time you press it
And I would do it again in a heartbeat. He did absolutely nothing to me but it could have easily turned bad.
The other day my husband did the nursery run while I had a lay in. I came downstairs to a commotion: he’d seen a man beating a woman (his own wife) in the street so brought her home. She was with us a few hours & the police called. I’m not religious but pray for her every day
4 year old has done a poo that won’t flush. Just a giant toddler turd blocking the u bend. 7 attempts and counting.
Jokes from 1995. What did Michael Jackson say to Pamela Anderson? You are not alone. I am plastic too #TOTP
The Gays would answer this question rather differently.
There is a fascinating theological discussion going on over on TikTok. Ladies, would you rather be stuck in a forest with a man or a bear?
Every year for the last few of her life, you made my profoundly (physically and mentally) disabled sister go through a review to see whether she'd got less disabled or needed less care. You give not a sh*t about vulnerable people.
We’ve seen a worrying trend in our welfare system. More and more people are being written off work unnecessarily, and spending is growing at an unsustainable rate. So we’re doing something about it whilst protecting the most vulnerable among us.