Conversations with my OCD @ocdsmh
Anonymous 37yo OCD fighter, husband and father. Diagnosed at 13yo. Tweeting conversations with my #ocd. Sometimes funny, sometimes sad, sometimes both. East Coast, USA Joined January 2022-
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ocd: it's your fault if anyone falls down the stairs me: why? ocd: because they might not know or remember to be careful unless you tell them me: so i'm supposed to stand by the staircase and tell everyone to be careful? in perpetuity? ocd: yes
me: that was a nice thanksgiving! ocd: sure, i guess. but did you spend the optimal amount of time with each member of your family? me: i didn't bother calculating... ocd: start calculating. you might find that thanksgiving was deeply suboptimal.
ocd: choose that emoji wisely. me: this simple smiley seems pretty harmless... ocd: too harmless, perhaps. a smiley that a serial killer would use, perhaps. me: you know, i'll just hop on the phone to avoid any misunderstandings.
ocd: you know how you feel physically uncomfortable right now? me: yeah, i'm hoping to feel better tomorrow ocd: have you considered that you might just be in pain for the rest of your life? me: i hadn't ocd: well, food for thought
ocd: you're never listening to people... me: true. i'm often lost in ocd-triggered rumination, so sometimes i can't focus on what people are saying. ocd: ...therefore everyone thinks you're a piece of shit who never listens. me: i'm not sure that's an appropriate conclusion.
ocd: i'm bored. know what that means? me: oh no... ocd: yup. let's fill that space with an onslaught of anxieties. me: can't we just be bored for once?
ocd: let's start each day with an uncountable set of anxieties that blend together into a general malaise! me: so that's one option. but what if we started the day feeling positive and energized? ocd: have you seen our list of anxieties? you and your loved ones might die today!
ocd: pick that eye crust out of your eye me: who cares? ocd: it just feels wrong to leave it in there me: but seriously, who cares? ocd: look, it's either me or the eye crust. one of us needs to go. me: ...then obviously i'll keep the eye crust ocd: that backfired
ocd: omg you have a doctor appointment coming up me: your point? ocd: the doctor might tell you that you're dying! me: the doctor might also hand me a floppy disk with a photo of his dog dressed as a hot dog ocd: that seems unlikely me: ...as does your example ocd: touché
ocd: let's plan the future me: what about enjoying the present? ocd: fuck the present me: interesting priorities
me: i don't want to care what anyone thinks about me ocd: but you must care! otherwise what's stopping you from running naked through the streets? me: that's the first thing i'll do once i stop caring what people think? run naked in the street? why? ocd: or through the airport
ocd: time travel me: ? ocd: time travel would eliminate all uncertainty! me: what happens if knowing the future changes the future? ocd: better eliminate free will as well me: we'd know the future but have no free will, buried alive in a life forced upon us? ocd: ya
ocd: don't walk over to the contaminated corner of the room me: what makes it "contaminated"? ocd: funny you should ask, i actually don't remember! me: ...so when will it be "decontaminated"? ocd: i guess never
ocd: you're a loser me: that's not true, and it's not even something i've ever believed, so what's your angle? ocd: you've always been a loser and you always will be a loser me: hmm. when you say it enough times, it does start to feel real. maybe i am a loser... ocd: :P
ocd: your life will never be the same after today me: duh ocd: but it's your fault: you sent a poorly worded email that will ruin everything me: my stupid email is fully responsible for the evolution of my life going forward? ocd: no. yes. i don't know. go wash your hands.
ocd: you're very anxious this morning me: yes...thanks to you... ocd: well, your son is watching. he sees you panicking. it'll ruin your relationship with him. me: cool. you know, that makes me more anxious, not less. ocd: guess that's why they call me an anxiety disorder!
ocd: you made the wrong decision, and now your life is ruined. there's only one thing to do now. me: acceptance? ocd: lol! no. just convince yourself that the choice was not actually wrong. me: but what if it was wrong? ocd: then the cognitive dissonance will destroy you.
ocd: that ceiling fan might fall on your head me: no it won't ocd: just google it to be sure me: fine. i'm googling it to prove to you that ceiling fans never, ever fall... me: ...damnit ocd: lol. all bad things can and do happen.
ocd: what if you're attracted to dogs? me: come again? i think i misheard you. ocd: what if you're attracted to dogs? me: i feel very confident in saying that i'm not attracted to dogs. ocd: but you do find them cute, yes? me: yeah... ocd: i rest my case me: what case?!
ocd: someone said something about you that can be interpreted negatively me: oh ocd: here's what we're gonna do. we're gonna imagine them saying that thing every single day, over and over again. we're gonna learn what they said like it's a venerated biblical verse. me: dang
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a serious topic: people need to learn the difference between intrusive thoughts and impulsive thoughts. intrusive thoughts are not screaming the word penis in a crowded area, that’s an impulsive thought. intrusive thoughts are intrusive for a reason and are actual unwanted 1/3
//as someone with OCD + intrusive thoughts, here's a very simplified explanation: Impulsive thought: "I should give myself bangs." Intrusive thought: "I should take a knife and [REDACTED] my entire family and then myself." There's a big difference.
a serious topic: people need to learn the difference between intrusive thoughts and impulsive thoughts. intrusive thoughts are not screaming the word penis in a crowded area, that’s an impulsive thought. intrusive thoughts are intrusive for a reason and are actual unwanted 1/3
I was diagnosed with OCD after realizing I've been living with it for years -- and I got through some of the hardest therapy of my life to get through to the other side.
The year-end best-of lists are terrorizing at the best of times (& these are not those), so as per annual tradition, please let me know what YOU accomplished this year that made you proud or happy, or that was hard or challenging in ways that you want to acknowledge.
thoughts that exist just to make you feel like a horrible person. OCD is serious and not something to joke around about. if it wasn’t for the internet and learning other people struggle with intrusive thoughts i wouldn’t be able to live with myself. 2/3
i fucking hate OCD can i please eat a chicken nugget without imagining a handful of chicks being blended in a blender alive ????????💀🤣
Being officially diagnosed by my therapist as OCD after so long is so relieving. It feels like validation of my experiences.
We had to leave Quinnie overnight at the kitty ER. It’s a long story, but the short version is that I screwed something up and made her sick. She will probably be fine - but I feel terrible. Jesus, what’s the point of OCD if it doesn’t keep you from making stupid mistakes?
I hate having an OCD brain because why are you obsessing about that? Chill out.
i hate how we went from 2016 “omg i’m so ocd” to 2022 tiktok “the intrusive thoughts won” can y’all leave mental disorders tf alone
personally, it’s extremely embarrassing having OCD. i’ve had to hide it for YEARS because of the stigma around it and how no one takes it seriously. diminishing mental illness isn’t funny and it needs to stop.
@ocdsmh i actually do this hahah. ‘the bathroom floor might be wet, be careful on the stairs, do you need some new flip flops?!’ 🤡
When I got diagnosed with (mild) OCD the first thing I did was call up my ex bc she always complained that I was too obsessive and compulsive and I thought it was important for her to know that she just hates the mentally ill
The holidays can be excruciating for people struggling with depression, anxiety, OCD, or other types of mental illness. I know because I’ve been there before. Do everything you can to stay patient and be kind to yourself. You are not alone ❤️
@ocdsmh serial killers communicate only via tictok; you’re all good
The holidays can be really tough for folks with #OCD (or any other mental illness). Show yourself grace and compassion if you have an uptick in symptoms over the next month. Things can and will get better.
Our application to support public funding for #deepbrainstimulation for severe #OCD in Australia msac.gov.au/internet/msac/… Twitter friends: economic analyses of DBS for OCD? I know these ones: doi.org/10.1016/j.brs.… doi.org/10.1097%2FMD.0… Any others?
@sensorystories_ Also fun fact: Only in 2013 was it recognized that OCD, ADHD, & autism, were not differential diagnoses. One body can hold all 3 of these at the same time. Both my husband & oldest daughter do.
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