Chris Warner @cwarn89
Writer of screenplays, children’s books, and sports columns. I just had to explain to my daughter what a rotary phone is. https://t.co/wJYDFlgJ9e Joined February 2013-
Tweets9K
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Followers296
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Following1K
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Likes30K
This low-key might be the biggest Patriots hype piece of the summer.
What did Gilliam learn about playing fullback in New England while watching old James Develin highlights with Josh McDaniels? “That you could be anywhere,” he laughed. “You could be in the backfield. You could be at tight end. You could be split out. You could be anywhere.”
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@Travon Basic rule of pranking: the reveal should take away a bad thing, not a good thing.
Chris Warner retweeted
If only Dr. Fauci had talked about heroin helping him get through school and boasted about snorting cocaine off toilet seats, then MAGA could have accepted him to look after the health of their children.
@justin_halpern Halfway through and slowing down because I don’t want to finish it. Such consistent, real, funny characters, esp. Lila and Dix.
Chris Warner retweeted
Chris Warner retweeted
Turns out that food companies were only checking their food because the government told them to which is exactly why we need government regulations
Nice piece on Maye from Chris here.
FOXBOROUGH -- On the first day of on-field workouts at Patriots training camp, Drake Maye came out firing. bostonglobe.com/2026/07/25/spo…
Is it Squirrel Girl? That would be awesome!
Destin Daniel Cretton Believes Secrecy Around Sadie Sink’s Role Makes ‘Spider-Man: Brand New Day’ a Better Movie hollywoodreporter.com/movies/movie-f…
Quick reminder that there are over 500K college athletes in the US, with fewer than 10 who have come out as trans. That’s two thousandths of one percent. Ravaging!
Trump: "We had transgender for everybody. Men in women's sports came ravaging through our cities."
Upset with myself for feeling even the tiniest bit of surprise.
Financial disclosures show that Susan Collins was taking checks from some of the men named in Epstein Files. meidasnews.com/news/more-dona…
@jerrythornton I’m more concerned about my triskaidekaphobia. It’s all good!
Amazing how we just keep moving on to whatever goddamn new thing.
Did we ever figure out if Mitch McConnell is alive?
@DDayFilms Just give me “Wabbit Season” and I’ll be okay.
Even during wildfire season, this tool makes living in Canada seem sweet.
Sen. Rick Scott: "The minimum we ought to work is seven days a week"
Chris Warner retweeted
Bobby Jr. promising 250 million cases of exploding diarrhea to commemorate the semiquincentennial.
@mikewichter Couldn’t be alleged ball tampering - that’s four games.
@HarrisPeskin @Ukrainolution @TheRickWilson “People say I shouldn’t run. Well, people are stupid.” #Colbert4Senate
“Behold! Your nightmare come to li—ZOUNDS!!”
Chris Warner retweeted
the only data center that should be funded is the fucking library.
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