PUNS @ThePunnyWorld
Follow for the most hilarious puns and dad jokes! Not affiliated with any of my tweets. facebook.com/lamehumor Joined May 2014-
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Followers659K
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I'm trying to remember what the French word for white is... But my mind keeps going blanc.
People think grass don't be wet in the morning. But it dew.
My girlfriend broke up with me when she found out I only had 9 toes. She was lack toes intolerant.
My fiance and I wanted to get married at the public library But they told us it was all booked up
Why are skeletons so calm? Nothing gets under their skin.
Why do fish always know how much they weigh? Because they have their own scales
I was walking in the jungle and saw a lizard on his hind legs telling jokes. I turned to a local tribesman and said "That lizards really funny." The tribesman replied, "That's not a lizard. He's a stand up chameleon."
What superhero loves being out in the sun? Cap-tan America
I asked my friend Nick, if he had 5 cents I could borrow. But he was Nicholas.
I used to think I had a Japanese friend. But it was just my Imagine Asian.
For her birthday, I took my wife to an orchard and we stood there looking at the trees for half an hour. Not the Apple Watch she was expecting apparently.
A man goes to a zoo, but the only animal in the entire zoo is a dog. It was a shih tzu.
An English man, a Spaniard, a Frenchman, and a German go to a club. The guy on stage asks if they can see him. They said: “Yes. Oui. Si. Ja.”
I was arguing with a guy in the pub who said he was a big pop star in the 80s. I didn't believe him but he was adamant...
I've just had a stack of toilet paper rolls fall on me in the supermarket... I'm ok though, just soft tissue damage.
Ever since I began sharing puns, my followers have doubled in sighs.
Lance is an uncommon name nowadays. But in medieval times people were named Lance a lot.
Alex | For The Dad @forthedad_
642 Followers 1K Following Dad Joke Champion. Trophy Husband. 4x Dad of the Year. Click the link for merch ⬇️
Obong Brown @obongbrown
425 Followers 732 Following Kuyperian | Statesman | Diplomat | Brand & Product Strategy, Communications and Management
gill @intobeibei
331 Followers 773 Following a fan account; Bea de Leon | Chocomucho Flying Titans | ADMU | Creamline Cool Smashers | 💜💙🤍💗
Josie Moyer @latitude13
1K Followers 171 Following I'm like a ko'ko' bird: grounded, indigenous, and rarely seen in person
Pablo Escobooty🐉 @ankaili_
289 Followers 128 Following just like the avengers, she's got an iron deficiency ♡
Seema Golchha @entrepunner
462 Followers 144 Following Ventriloquist | Comedian | Punner | Marvelous Mr Maisel story | contact [email protected] | Instagram seema_golchha
Peter Paican @PeterPaican
623 Followers 625 Following Jesus is Sovereign. Husband | Photography | Graphics | Music | Film | All things Digital Art. Team Member at @AgandyStudios
Todd Lawrence @ToddLaw40406270
0 Followers 38 Following
RequiemNeeded @AllySomeone360
19 Followers 84 Following
tony (nsfw) @antoniusbonius
9 Followers 86 Following i 🧡 garfield and i draw gay sex 😻 / tony / 🏳️⚧️🏳️🌈🇰🇷 🇺🇲/ he/him / ftm + taken 🔞
Marc Hovanessian @Hov0116
1 Followers 50 Following
Jeffreysliitleboy @Jeffreythe3rdd
3 Followers 393 Following BABYBOYMINISTER 🧸 ||Web 3|| music||YouTube 🇳🇬🪐🌴
ejaga nathan @ejaga3399
0 Followers 143 Following
JMcC, Resister @DrMac85
18K Followers 15K Following Dog Lover #SayNoToTheocraticOligarchy #VoteBlue FlightCrew @TonyHQ1985 @AhmedBaba_ @jackieResister Kindness Matters DMs=Block
Fay-Marie Johnson @Shaybae_23
0 Followers 9 Following
BlogMarkBlog @blogmarkblog
274 Followers 174 Following Hi. I'm Mark. 🏳️🌈 Happily Retired \ Married to Shane \ Doggy Daddy \ Orioles fan \ Tennis \ Maine
Meade Barnes @BarnesMead60434
1 Followers 24 Following
Abubakar Abdulhameed @slimmmlol
2 Followers 18 Following
Luyando Mwiinga @mwiinga77532
2 Followers 115 Following
Celloh JR @CellohJr
6 Followers 77 Following
Emmanuel Still staff @StaffStill7797
2 Followers 206 Following
Mattitude1209 @Mattitude2012
115 Followers 54 Following
cindy malloo @cimpleelyrics
0 Followers 15 Following
UlyssesAI @Ulysses_AI
0 Followers 110 Following
Ananya Singh @AnanyaSingh91
112 Followers 872 Following
Stuart Phiri @GambimaruOne
2 Followers 41 Following
Micah Myrick @myrickb30
43 Followers 192 Following 33 army infantry veteran loves the outdoors my wife the second amendment and the Constitution of the United States of America
Strawberry Shortcake @be77ysh0rtcake
0 Followers 7 Following
DanaAldington @2O96x867bASF2
56 Followers 806 Following
jake ciha @jakemciha
20 Followers 132 Following
Sameeran Prasanna Jay.. @jsprasanna628
1 Followers 83 Following
بنجارہ @hsbkhn
2K Followers 752 Following Burger | Youthia | ill-informed | Fitna | Fasadi | Dehshatgard
Nicholas Cardoza @NicholasCardoz6
13 Followers 69 Following
Meer @Meer7637
0 Followers 2 Following
Shravandoodekemil.c @Shravandoo2122
0 Followers 5 Following
Asia Redmon @Lmaooo_Asiaa
0 Followers 5 Following
Offmarketbrokr @offmarketbrokr
17 Followers 62 Following CRE broker • 15+ years exp • off market deals • debt & equity • access to LP's with 1 Billion + of equity to deploy into CRE • NY'er who fled to Miami pre Covid
Tomás Lucas @tomaslu.. @tomaslucas_
242 Followers 1K Following Lo único que es eterno: el cambio. Arnold Schoenberg
Kavash Benard @BenardKava32440
10 Followers 93 Following
furtherinfurtherup@pr.. @furtherinf93791
0 Followers 21 Following
Nuno Ribeiro @nribeiro
168 Followers 401 Following (INFJ-T) PhD in Computer Science by Univ. of York in Multimedia/A.I. MSc/Grad in Eletrotechnics Engineering; Piano/Violin player; Insane SciFi enthusiast.
Dale Earnhardt Jr. @DaleJr
2.5M Followers 455 Following @NASCAR analyst. Co-owner @DirtyMoMedia @FilterTime @HighRockVodka @JRMotorsports @CARSTour @WhiskyRiver. @iRacing devotee.
Jeff Gordon @JeffGordonWeb
1.2M Followers 3K Following Vice Chairman @TeamHendrick, 4-Time @NASCAR 🏆, @JeffGordon4Cure, @HendrickCars, @JeffGordonSales, proud husband & father.
Elon Musk @elonmusk
181.3M Followers 584 Following
PunHub @PunHubOnline
265K Followers 554 Following Bringing you HD original puns and dad jokes. Over 2M followers across platforms 🔥 ✉️ [email protected] Pre-order our book below! 📚⬇️
jack @jack
6.5M Followers 5K Following #bitcoin and chill. #nostr: npub1sg6plzptd64u62a878hep2kev88swjh3tw00gjsfl8f237lmu63q0uf63m3,026 years from today, life will either be really good or really bad. It's 5050.
The sky was looking ominous so I asked Siri, “Surely, it’s not going to rain today?” And she replied, “Yes it is, and don’t call me Shirley.” That was when I realized I’d left my phone on Airplane mode.
I went to a psychic. I knocked on her front door. She yelled: "Who is it?" So l left.
For me, the urge to sing “The Lion Sleeps Tonight” is always just a whim away... ...a whim away, a whim away, a whim away, a whim away.
My father and I were leaving our hotel room in Iraq and he almost forgot his suitcase. I said “don’t forget your Baghdad.”
It was so cold yesterday my computer froze… It was my own fault though, I left too many windows open.
I told a joke on a zoom meeting but nobody laughed. Turns out I’m not even remotely funny.
A priest, a pastor and a rabbit entered a clinic to donate blood. The nurse asked the rabbit: “what’s your blood type?” “I’m probably a type O”, said the rabbit.
I was really confused when my printer started playing music. Turns out the paper was jamming.
What will Tesla name their electric lawnmower? E-Lawn
Why do the French eat snails? Because they don't like fast food.
I made a huge mistake challenging Death to a pillow fight… I was not prepared for the reaper cushions.
Anyone who ever worked at Twitter… Is now either an ex-employee or an X employee.
I asked my boss for a raise because 3 companies are after me. He asked me which ones? I replied: gas, water and electric
Socrates: To do is to be Plato: To be is to do Scooby: Do be do
Why haven’t aliens visited our solar system yet? They looked at the reviews… Only 1 star.
Robin: “The Batmobile isn’t starting!” Batman: “Did you charge the battery?” Robin: “What the hell is a tery?”
What do you call a snake that's exactly 3.14 metres long? A πthon.
I just realized that the word “seven” has ‘even’ in it. That’s odd.
Sylvester Stallone says he wants to make a movie about classical music. He says, “I will be Beethoven.” Jean Claude Van Damme says, “I’ll be Mozart.” Arnold Schwarzenegger said, “C’mon guys, don’t make me…”
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