Shayla🧴🐼 @SerenaShayla
Describe myself in a single emoji?🧴 yourmom.com Hawaii ➡️ TX ➡️ WA ⬇️ Austin Joined September 2018-
Tweets495
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Followers20
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Following190
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Likes1K
You watch basketball - I watch this youtu.be/r-uSWAJd9GE?si…
As I was stopped at a traffic light today a guy who was holding a sign about needing money for diapers came over to my car window, pointed at my cleavage, and did the chef’s kiss motion 🫥
America isn’t brave enough to release a Kids Bop version of Purple Hearts
“Better to beg for forgiveness than ask for permission” could be one of the rapiest sayings ever concocted.
Walking all over New Orleans with friends is the best way to end my 2023
May you be surrounded by friends who not only remember your birthday but also make you laugh in the ER
Your new special is fantastic and the line about hugging people built like @kumailn is _one_ of my favorite parts of the whole thing, @peteholmes
I had no idea I would relate so fiercely to Matthew McConaughey’s character in the first season of True Detective
Only the real ones will get this but will Milk Baby return in season 3 of #TheRighteousGemstones
See y’all tomorrow night 🩶
I just screamed
The Oscars are in a month and oooo boy do some white people have opinions on Everything Everywhere All At Once
It’s 2023 and you can’t quote Detroiters OR I Think You should Leave? Grow up.
Jessica ▪️💦�.. @Juicieca
952 Followers 2K Following (she/her) #Detroiters #ITYSL #AbolishthePolice #BLM #FreePalestine #De2️⃣roit & pet pics. Trying to convince any 📺 network possible to renew Detroiters 🤞
Napcore Influencer @SortaBad
62K Followers 799 Following @sortaokaytbh if we are pals. Solana + Metis + Avax ecosystem maxi
olde tom’s apotheca.. @otacandles
784 Followers 127 Following new jersey candle company owned by @yuckytom and beloved by all
oll @dulcetry
9K Followers 669 Following
Jonathan Tranel @Tranelj
93 Followers 169 Following
Ron @theonetrueron
322 Followers 63 Following Born on the bayou. Living in the PNW. #Saints ⚜️ #WhoDat ❤️@amywithlemon
Nelley @shanizzlehizzle
12 Followers 101 Following My ultimate goal is to write my memoir using only animated gifs.
amywithlemon @amywithlemon
497 Followers 507 Following here’s the thing: i don’t regret being me. | @theonetrueron @jesusofNaz316 | #WA #LA #adhd #autism #deaf 🌈🧠 | hyperfixating myself into legend since ‘77™️
Tara Tranel @TaraTranel
386 Followers 316 Following “Your only true obligation is to the voice of your own soul.”
Libbytotheloo @LibbytotheLoo
51 Followers 52 Following I can't even. I work a wonderful, crazy job trumped only by the wonderful, crazy people I love.
AmySedarisRocks.com @amysedarisrocks
4K Followers 9 Following News feed for https://t.co/1N3mgOyWOH.
Becca O'Neal 🍒 @becca_oneal
26K Followers 8K Following comedian. writer. she/her 💞 becca.v.oneal@gmail
esther povitsky @littleesther
94K Followers 1K Following inanimate object / my stand up special HOT FOR MY NAME is streaming on youtube / see my stand up live: chicago, nyc, boston, detroit:
Brian Simpson @bscomedian
20K Followers 522 Following
Shane Gillis @Shanemgillis
450K Followers 835 Following Matt and Shane’s secret podcast : Gilly & Keeves
Sam Morril @sammorril
215K Followers 931 Following Stand-up Comic. Knicks fan. See me in your city: https://t.co/NGdY2cYtXP
Andre Braugher @AndreBraugher
205K Followers 12 Following Watch @nbcbrooklyn99 on Thursdays at 8/7c, I act on that. Instagram: AndreBraugher
Some Good News @somegoodnews
204K Followers 90 Following Your source for good news stories from around the world. Share your good news story using the hashtag #somegoodnews
Elizabeth Hackett @LizHackett
87K Followers 1K Following Screenwriter. Redhead. Frequent eater of toast.
ristolable @ristolable
29K Followers 951 Following
Andrew Schulz 👑HEZ.. @andrewschulz
542K Followers 800 Following My New Special INFAMOUS is on YOUTUBE now! https://t.co/8bTQktu1yr
Matthew Wingard @MFWingard
143 Followers 492 Following
Maria Bamford @mariabamfoo
215K Followers 773 Following Stand-Up Comedy Since the 1900s 📚 Pre-Order Scott's & My Graphic Novel 📚 Tour Dates on website! Want to come to a show but No $? Ariamaamfordba@gmail
nathan fielder @nathanfielder
548K Followers 238 Following
Nate Bargatze @natebargatze
184K Followers 1K Following New special, Hello World on Prime Video. Or check out my Netflix specials. Come see me on tour. Also @natelandpodcast
KŪ PROJECT @thekuproject
482 Followers 81 Following by Daniel Aipa / Helping others stand Kū #livekū
Pete Holmes @peteholmes
396K Followers 1K Following Comedian. HBO's Crashing. The Pete Holmes Show. You Made It Weird podcast. Badman. He/him. For ad inquiries [email protected]
Mr. T @MrT
367K Followers 21 Following Footballer, Wrestler, Soldier, Bouncer, Bodyguard & actor. Professional Pitier Of Fools. Instagram: @officialipitythefool
Electric Mayhem @ElectricMayhem
97K Followers 107 Following We am, is, are, and be The Electric Mayhem! All episodes of #TheMuppetsMayhem are now streaming only on Disney+!
TinaTurner @tinaturner
137K Followers 12 Following The Queen of Rock ‘n’ Roll. https://t.co/oOz5FjusnF
Ramit Sethi @ramit
289K Followers 757 Following Host of @netflix "How to Get Rich" & the I Will Teach You To Be Rich podcast. Get my new money insights every Saturday 👉🏾 https://t.co/4ICLQHXj8x
matt @mattxiv
413K Followers 154 Following queer jew w very long nails, host of a bit fruity, he/they
Shawntay Dalon @ShawntayDalon
2K Followers 805 Following John3:16. Let’s Work! ✊🏽 #JusticeForJelaniDay Wanna help me make my film? : https://t.co/7O8pKvIYvo More active on Insta.😉 CHRISSY @detroiters.
Brandon Wardell @BRANDONWARDELL
570K Followers 2K Following The Brandon Jamel Show on podcast apps/YouTube • https://t.co/gE4iteC3Ib • tour: https://t.co/FEVM6TvL1f
Atsuko Okatsuka @AtsukoComedy
79K Followers 3K Following My @HBO special "The Intruder" out now! See me live on tour👇
Youngmi MAYER 💜 @ymmayer
43K Followers 763 Following writing a bio.. embarrassing. pre-order my book 👇🏼
sheng wang @shengwangtime
14K Followers 1K Following SWEET AND JUICY now streaming on NETFLIX shows, merch + email list 👉 https://t.co/1qrtMj4eUk
olde tom’s apotheca.. @otacandles
784 Followers 127 Following new jersey candle company owned by @yuckytom and beloved by all
Miss Michelle Buteau @MichelleButeau
57K Followers 3K Following ✨Just type my name in the search engine on Netflix boo✨
David Chappelle @DaveChappelle
1.1M Followers 21 Following
Patton Oswalt @pattonoswalt
4.5M Followers 5K Following Head over to https://t.co/RxSAvjPK2W for tour dates, comics & whatever else I’m working on. I like making stuff. IG, Threads & BlueSky: @pattonoswalt
David Spade @DavidSpade
2.8M Followers 60 Following This is the real, official David Spade. Any other accounts are fake.
Phil Wang // Insta: @.. @PhilNWang
177K Followers 1K Following I’m on tour 🎟️ Book: 'Sidesplitter' Netflix special: ‘Philly Philly Wang Wang’ Insta: wangpix // Podcast: @thebudpod
Ronny Chieng @ronnychieng
162K Followers 2K Following StandUp | Correspondent on @TheDailyShow | Speakeasy on @netflix | @marvel @ShangChi | https://t.co/VkQKVBS4E8
Brett Boham @breyyyattt
3K Followers 235 Following Co-Founder @ForeverDogTeam Host @MoviesBabyyyyy @WeekendBergman Producer @DoubleThreatPod @BestShow4Life @TheUnderculture @ThreeSwingsPod (he/him)
Dylan Adler @DylanAdler6
40K Followers 2K Following If Yzma was Asian. Writer on @latelateshow @Dylanadler_ on insta He/Him
Janelle James, moody .. @janellejcomedy
155K Followers 2K Following Foul-Mouthed Comedian. Principal @AbbottElemABC I've done some things 🇻🇮 🇻🇮 Reps: CAA
Craig Robinson @MrCraigRobinson
510K Followers 59 Following It's your boy....Daryl, Matheson, Bouncer, Hot Tub, .MPEG, etc.pandas have huge teeth, bite force of a lion, gigantic sharp claws, and the strength of any other bear. yet they choose to be silly. the power in that.
one of my favorite bands in the history of music is about to go on tho so it’s fine
Women: men will literally live in a hole instead of going to therapy Therapy men: it’s a personal boundary of mine that I need my dick sucked and when you say you don’t want to it brings up a lot of trauma for me, every time you don’t suck my dick my body keeps the score
need kate winslet to crush my windpipe with the heel of her palm
trans day of visibility and easter falling on the same day this year
boots purr
No one warned me about the secret boss level of parenting in which you have to parent your own parents
Sometimes I wish I had cleavage so people wouldn't look me in the eyes
Women are legally allowed to commit a little murder today
"Can you delete that photo of me? It looks EXACTLY the way I look in real life." -People
I love women because they are either thinking about skincare or death
Imagine if any other religion had a commercial for their religion during the Super Bowl or like ever.
I’d rather see the entire Wicked movie than watch another one of those Jesus ads
Imagine your dick pic being leaked and you’re sitting criss-cross applesauce
My mind… *sighs*
@FellatioAlger I’m genuinely embarrassed to admit I’ve never thought about this
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