Mike Vabner @MichaelVabner
New York City Joined October 2019-
Tweets111
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Followers962
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Following930
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Likes15K
@lyft's newest service has been officially announced. This is going to change the entire rideshare game
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Had to pull my son out of Donda Academy this morning. Heartbroken for him, he had already bought his tux for senior prom
Mike Vabner retweeted
To answer the most obvious question, yes, I did pick up what was left of the beer and chug it.
An audience member threw a full beer at @Ariel_Comedy’s head mid-set and it was not fun in any way shape or form but she closed it out like a fucking champ and that’s the only kind of actual brave I’ve ever seen a comedian be
This is why unlike most kids I actually encouraged my parents to get divorced. I couldn’t let my dad’s marriage imperil his legacy as an accountant
@PamNotAnderson That’s a great lineup, congrats!
@meleesadposts One match on Corneria emits 1,184 times more CO2 than the average American
Wearing three shirts and a blazer you got from the courthouse lost and found bin is peak disheveled alcoholic fashion from Steve Bannon
@TheMattKaye “Sorry we helped take away your basic human rights, we’re going to transfer some airline miles your way and call it even?”
People often tell me that my biggest issue is that I lack confidence and I’m horrible with confrontation. It's the most diplomatic way someone can call you a pussy.
Deshaun Watson making history as the only QB with a sexual assault settlement rate higher than pass completion percentage
Plaintiffs attorney announces 20 of 24 civil lawsuits alleging sexual misconduct by Browns QB Deshaun Watson have been settled.
My dad is so bad with computers he is actually able to do things I didn't even know were possible.
Politics aside its insane that they expect us to put a stamp that big on our envelopes
First Lady Jill Biden participates in the unveiling of a new postage stamp honoring former First Lady Nancy Reagan.
I'm deeply outraged math textbooks are being banned now and not when I was forced to learn how to find the area of parallelogram
Florida has rejected 42 math textbooks, saying they used "prohibited topics or unsolicited strategies." The state did not specify which content was objectionable, but Gov. Ron DeSantis on Monday criticized the presence of “social and emotional learning." nyti.ms/3MflZPa
Kurt Cobain’s daughter is dating Tony Hawk’s son. If they had a kid, the only way they’d be able to rebel is by working at H&R Block.
The ship will be replaced in 30 years by the USS Sanctity of Life
The U.S. Navy will name a new ship after the late Supreme Court Justice Ruth Bader Ginsburg. The ship will join a class of vessels named after those who have fought for civil and human rights, including Harvey Milk, Robert F. Kennedy and Sojourner Truth. nyti.ms/3tTOM5j
Texas culture is living within a 5 min drive of a hooters, a gun range and a trampoline park
H&M sanctioning Russia is a critical blow to Putin's strategic reserve of skinny jeans
My friend suggested Panda Express as an option for Chinese food, which is like marinating a Slim Jim and calling it a steak dinner.
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