Boomer @LowVelocity
Stop. Push it. Joined March 2008-
Tweets4K
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Followers93
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Following82
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Likes3
Boomer retweeted
The extent to which I don't speak Chinese is ridiculous. I seriously don't understand the language one bit.
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Boomer retweeted
the universe will take care of me as long as i show mercy and patience with all living things *loud Incorrect buzzer sound*
Boomer retweeted
This moment from the new Steve Martin documentary where he’s remembering John Candy…damn man.
Boomer retweeted
new rule of thumb .... when you choose a twitter profile pic, be sure to ask yourself "what will it look like as the hero image on a tabloid story"
Boomer retweeted
was going to try milkbones home neutering kit but theres lots of 1 star reviews saying like "I accidentally lasered my dogs entire penis off
Boomer retweeted
me: Get up to anything fun this weekend? So sunny! work wife: omg I know! Daniel and I did a hike 🙄 then went to this cute little cocktail bar. You should take your next date there😉 coworker whos had the same wet hacking cough for 19 months: Don’t worry i’m not contagious
Boomer retweeted
Peace Kids should never die of starvation.
Boomer retweeted
lately I've been starting my days by going on a walk before I do anything else. it fucking sucks
Boomer retweeted
people are posting their favorite memories of Joe Leiberman so i guess I'll share mine: it is from today when he fell and died.
Boomer retweeted
right now biden is getting shot up with the most delicately balanced cocktail of drugs ever conceived
Boomer retweeted
It had to be crazy when General Tso's tossed those chicken chunks in the wok for the first time. His troops prolly couldn't believe it...
Boomer retweeted
I SAID LITTLE DEUCE COUPE YOU FUCKS
Boomer retweeted
Biden must be shitting himself. Also he's probably nervous about the election results
Boomer retweeted
Overnight Oats sounds like the name of a racehorse who sucks
Boomer retweeted
All the grizzled old guys at the docks keep hissing and doing the sign of the cross at the mysterious crate we’re loading on my ship and saying stuff like “God be with you.” Probably fine
Boomer retweeted
if the commercials arent good this year i will eat shit and make myself sick. im not fucking around any more
Boomer retweeted
The Wario of my Wario is my Mario
Boomer retweeted
One of the greatest roasts in the history of television
Boomer retweeted
what is your favourite moment from an interview?
Boomer retweeted
im developing a new type of service dog that can detect when you're about to have diarrhea and then it will go into the bathroom and just flush the toilet every 90 seconds for you while you fire out the worst sludge of your life
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