GuyAdvisor @GuyAdvisor
I'm shocking like Stephen Hawking, got a pair like Voltaire. Consider me your personal advisor. Come along with me and live life like a true guy's guy. favstar.fm/users/GuyAdvis… Your Mom's moist cooter Joined July 2011-
Tweets7K
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Followers8K
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Following8K
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Likes36K
I was at the casino playing craps with Amber Heard. I was rolling 7s and she dropped a deuce.
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But not your English tutor.
@southernsass81 Can I just get the discipline part without the long-term commitment?
@BrahmaGreg @southernsass81 Lighten up, Francis.
Viagra is basically weed that only gets your dick high.
When something was supposedly pointless, my grandfather would say it was "about as useful as tits on a hammer." Maybe it was just a lack of imagination, but that would be the most useful damn hammer I ever knew.
Maybe instead of another stimulus check, the government can just start handing out new livers. #QuarantineLife
@jgcrawfish @nachosarah You're a ballchinian?
I made a Fleshlight out of Legos and now my dick is perfectly square.
After seeing the ridiculous @andersoncooper interview with @realMikeLindell, I honestly can't believe I ever stuck my dick in #MyPillow
Ordering a White Claw at the pub is the equivalent of going to a whorehouse and asking for a handjob from the 80 year-old woman who washes the sheets.
This will make a lovely epitaph on your grave.
@AOC I just went to a crowded Red Robin and I'm 30. It was delicious, and I took my sweet time eating my meal. Because this is America. And I'll do what I want.
@realkatiejow @AOC This will make a lovely epitaph on your grave.
Restaurants are closed. It's only a matter of time before all the millennials starve to death.
Looks like Corona finally figured out how to keep everyone from drinking Guinness in pubs on St. Patrick's Day. I'll bet anything this all clears up just in time for Cinco de Mayo.
The #superbowl Pre-game show on @foxsports found @seanhannity fellating @realDonaldTrump on national television and calling it an interview, then cutting to @danandshay for a terrible song about tequila and @pitbull's token mysogyny in an effort to make it all go down more easily
I've been eating a lot of corn starch because I've heard it's good for thickening your sauce.
Linkedin is pretty much the worst dating app ever.
I spent four years in a sensory deprivation chamber. Damn autocorrect. I wrote "marriage."
Tony P. @Tbone7219
52K Followers 18K Following
Verifried Drunk™®�... @VerifiedDrunk
26K Followers 2K Following The later the tweet, the drunker I am. it/that/drunk
Shane @shanethevein
17K Followers 3K Following I don't care about politics, especially yours. Padres fan. Crodie lover. I block trolls. Born in Hawaii, lives in Texas via Cali, Arizona, and Baltimore.
C’est La Vie @Robert_Beau
54K Followers 47K Following Real Deal ~ Part Time Penis Model ~ Full Time Asshole
Ivsy @Ivsy01
37K Followers 8K Following drinking slurpees in front of 7-eleven with @The_Getawaygirl My thoughts in a box. my tweets 🤦♀️ https://t.co/0g8VMFzt2k
Just Call Me Frank™... @JustCallMeFrank
14K Followers 5K Following Nightmare with legs | Creator, writer, sayer of things and stuff. Mostly things | My YouTube channel: https://t.co/XlCXxMHyH0
Rusty @GayDeceiver
7K Followers 8K Following Cali expat living in the South. Loved by Dog, Servant to Cat. Happy with guy. I do NOT have a problem with glitter, you do.
💙 Is There Somethi... @CamusOverEasy
17K Followers 15K Following I'm the only person in the world who has been given the finger by Jimmy Piersall at DC Stadium and Rickey Henderson at Memorial Stadium. 凡人
Colin Gubbins @RitleySammich
11K Followers 6K Following Ministry of Ungentlemanly & Irregular Warfare - cardboard sports cards - #NAFO - NoleNation -
Repir @Repir8469
53 Followers 2K Following
Michelle @MrsCheshireLady
101 Followers 98 Following Author of roller coaster travel biography Sun-kissed and Sidetracked available on Amazon now. Buy it, or miss out 😜, link below https://t.co/o7wtW5GWIO
Regan Kuphal @KuphalRega51410
55 Followers 1K Following
Thorxe @ThorxevCj
103 Followers 3K Following
Toathy @ToathyIpH
17 Followers 559 Following
Alina Ha @sand_vvitch
704 Followers 6K Following I am here to help your beautiful soul to remind you of who you are,to guide and support you on your journey and to help you raise vour consciousness ∞
Tommy Johnson @justme16683
28 Followers 681 Following
Mrs. Snarky Pants @Ris622
2K Followers 4K Following It doesn't matter how much antibacterial soap you use - the shame doesn't scrub off. Lawyer by trade, Batman when summoned.
Jo Lox @JoLox0285143356
34 Followers 2K Following
R B @rajatanilbehl
0 Followers 108 Following
Dainel Alex @alex_dainel
12 Followers 53 Following
Timothy Wilkinson @ReasonablyNumbM
28 Followers 447 Following Don’t waste your time commenting libtards! I don’t check 🤷♂️Constitutionalist, Midwestern, White male. Wanted dead or alive by Liberals 🤷♂️
Andrew Milbourn @AndrewROI
1K Followers 3K Following WISDOM - that’s is all, oh and a bit of fun stuff and quite a lot of WHU
Duke @frknsty00
20 Followers 528 Following
john milligan @jmilligan49
14 Followers 119 Following
Upney's Missfitzs @UpneyBump
519 Followers 4K Following Born in London's East-End & been supporting The Hammers since I was 7 days old. Now retired, Very Tyred
Almond Milf @AlmondMilf1500
6 Followers 126 Following
Martin Olivos @Martinnyc__1
1 Followers 138 Following
Jeff Young @jsy226
35 Followers 348 Following Retired Navy Supply Corps @navysupplycorps, Industrial Readiness Support Manager @DLAMIL and full-time Dad & Husband. Hobbies: traveling, woodworking, tennis
Magnificent Bastard @irolands1
2K Followers 2K Following Some motherfucker stole my old account....... eh?
Melanie A Higgs @melanie_higgs
1 Followers 68 Following
Kemang Samkelo? @godwin_llale
341 Followers 4K Following There's no better time than the time am living in now.
David williams @Davidwi51252321
10 Followers 66 Following
Holli @H974069291
8 Followers 292 Following
Body by Wegovy @DeadManSkipping
766 Followers 961 Following Anti-social Social Anarchist. It's okay to not follow me; most people don't.
Books by Brooklands @BrooklandsNM
690 Followers 5K Following We publish elegant limited edition books, you can see our current available publications at: https://t.co/zOYa3kcQQo #Books
Mud Dog @Hikenfool71
1K Followers 2K Following Navy Vet🔺Investor 🔺Fitness / Hiking🔺Oil Painter 🏕️ 🌲 🇺🇸
Brock @Brock21020082
0 Followers 158 Following
Crazy Kat💤 @KatheeO2
1K Followers 4K Following Single malt, multiple personality, special reserve, extra (im)matured... loves laughing. A lot. My pets are crazy by osmosis
George Ameyedowo @GAmeyedowo
33 Followers 206 Following Hi I am George from circle Accra and what make me special is how I take good cure of my self
Muja @Slim_Shenzy
909 Followers 489 Following I take absolutely nothing for granted; and so I spend my life in utter triviality.
Euan Charles @euancharles
747 Followers 4K Following
Thomas.Sih @ThomasSih1
8 Followers 132 Following
[email protected]... @abuadelll777
4 Followers 60 Following
Lumpy Loads @Lumpy_Loads
192 Followers 6K Following
NCHikingTi @hiking_nc
14 Followers 164 Following
Tony P. @Tbone7219
52K Followers 18K Following
Verifried Drunk™®�... @VerifiedDrunk
26K Followers 2K Following The later the tweet, the drunker I am. it/that/drunk
Craving @calluptome
15K Followers 4K Following 🐐 ♑️ cinephile; horror, pitbull/staffy grrl, @jaymianajones is my wifey & I won’t play w/ u at all- https://t.co/1QIGZn5LoD
Shane @shanethevein
17K Followers 3K Following I don't care about politics, especially yours. Padres fan. Crodie lover. I block trolls. Born in Hawaii, lives in Texas via Cali, Arizona, and Baltimore.
Matt Oswalt @MattOswaltVA
300K Followers 890 Following I'm a triple threat; writer, photographer, arsonist
Sir Michael @Michael1979
217K Followers 1K Following Maker of @SturdyPodcast and How to (Almost) Make Friends on the Internet. Persecuted for wearing jean shorts to my grandad's funeral https://t.co/C0gsnmxKIS
C’est La Vie @Robert_Beau
54K Followers 47K Following Real Deal ~ Part Time Penis Model ~ Full Time Asshole
Ivsy @Ivsy01
37K Followers 8K Following drinking slurpees in front of 7-eleven with @The_Getawaygirl My thoughts in a box. my tweets 🤦♀️ https://t.co/0g8VMFzt2k
Just Call Me Frank™... @JustCallMeFrank
14K Followers 5K Following Nightmare with legs | Creator, writer, sayer of things and stuff. Mostly things | My YouTube channel: https://t.co/XlCXxMHyH0
Angie Davis ❤️’... @AngieDavisHaha
16K Followers 4K Following I'll always be the jester,in a world that idolizes the princess.Goodnight @davidduchovny girl. Comic of Twitter tour @TweetComedians ,knows how to make a salad.
Scott Linnen @ScottLinnen
15K Followers 2K Following Hamburger Helper. Because a severed hand told me to.
Rusty @GayDeceiver
7K Followers 8K Following Cali expat living in the South. Loved by Dog, Servant to Cat. Happy with guy. I do NOT have a problem with glitter, you do.
Travon Free @Travon
120K Followers 4K Following Writer/Director/Comedian. Oscar and Emmy(s) winner. Black bi popular demand. 🏳️🌈🏁 Two Distant Strangers. BS High. 38 At The Garden. Daily Show(formerly).
Chase Mitchell @ChaseMit
82K Followers 3K Following I write for TV and pick up my dog’s shit with a little bag.
Body by Wegovy @DeadManSkipping
766 Followers 961 Following Anti-social Social Anarchist. It's okay to not follow me; most people don't.
Rebecca @rebeccaabrook
13K Followers 816 Following avid shitposter 🖤 I don’t stir the pot, I jump in and splash about
Lyle Press @impopsy
843 Followers 951 Following I have a total irreverence for anything connected with society except that which makes the roads safer and the beer stronger - Brendan Behan
Darla the Darling @DarlaTheDarling
8K Followers 5K Following Common sense coupled connoisseur of constitutional law and comedic content. I comment on crapola. I cuss.
Lizzie Spivak @Spivaklady
512 Followers 2K Following Most people think I look Italian. And since my mom was actually Protestant, I'm not actually Jewish at all.
DONTJIMMYMEJULZ @DONTJIMMYMEJULZ
22K Followers 21K Following Hi! If you're new to twitter please enjoy wasting countless hours of your life here. And don't worry, that empty feeling is perfectly normal.
Vasculitis Vixen™ @MistookMistake
6K Followers 1K Following When I'm not busy losing 15lbs. so I can fit behind my fridge to get an M&M, I'm tweeting jokes, writing a book, & speaking about my cause: beating Vasculitis.
John Hopkins @hopkins636
220 Followers 781 Following
Steve Forester @Forestersteven
287 Followers 452 Following
Andy White @andyfwhite
6K Followers 6K Following Regular guy with a regular life. https://t.co/wZDfsmXUVO
☘️Sheila Maloney�... @shewitsch
11K Followers 9K Following There’s no limit to the amount of eye rolling that may occur. https://t.co/9ipfbY3uZ2.
Nick Doucette @Nowaveforms
17 Followers 156 Following
Elisa @elisa_212007
512 Followers 670 Following I'd like to eventually retire into a highly controversial political career.
faren @faren75849734
28 Followers 88 Following
Alana Waterman @happylowus27
490 Followers 46 Following Flights to Europe 50$, Asia 60$, and more. http://t.co/QWr3mJfQZV
Tara Hansen @TaraReaHansen
77 Followers 370 Following
Maritza López @futieton
10K Followers 2K Following Producer, Graphics for Studio 71’s So Bad It’s Good with Ryan Bailey podcast 👩🏽💻🎨 https://t.co/pCNdBbDdLq
Tiffany Roberson @Troberson9
7 Followers 30 Following
Joshua Dougherty @Dracman420
162 Followers 4K Following Hello, my name is Inigo Montoya. You killed my father, prepare to die.
Insight @insightcentral
2K Followers 2K Following Expand Your Mind. Therapist Elisabeth Goldberg. Contributing expert @Shape @CNN @ElleDecor
Nurse Babs @BabsGreenEyes
524 Followers 964 Following Yes, I'm a nurse. No, I don't want to look at it. #NSNG
Benny Boy @Camel_Crushin
17K Followers 7K Following
Kate’s Fate @katvonwitt
16K Followers 2K Following I’m like the Sun. You should probably just soak up everything. https://t.co/xKoBJkkSh2
mark @TheCatWhisprer
45K Followers 2K Following Nobody wrote 'stay cool' in my yearbook, the only signer was my math teacher Mr. Johansson and he just wrote 'Mr. Johansson' | @OrlandoMagic stan | SavedbyGrace
ess bee fritz @RandomAntics
6K Followers 713 Following Elevating the inane. Mundanity in spades, and the savings are passed on to you!
Ylykthis @Offshorebuoy
137 Followers 1K Following
Submityourgf @Submityourgirl
372 Followers 75 Following 18+ content. helping you share your wife and girlfriends by posting the pics you send me [email protected] or snapchat me @ sexy69_xxx
David W🅰️de @davidwades
350 Followers 395 Following I've been known to pick some guitar and drink til I can't see, reverse kegal instructor. epitaph: back up, you're crushing my penis
Mr J in the UK @mrjintheuk
36K Followers 26K Following Time to be a twit on twitter. I think I can achieve a fairly high level of competence in that...
Mel @ingodwetryst
25K Followers 5K Following This page is where you can keep up with my latest MintStar offerings because it's not good for anything fun anymore! That's on 🦋 https://t.co/TilTXYgk3L
ßīffÿÑîppè®ç�... @NiffyBipps
45 Followers 99 Following
Johnny Taylor, Jr. @hipsterocracy
119K Followers 97K Following “Bummin’ With the Devil” available on @tubi now! Comedian, Actor, Writer for @realpunknews. Co-host of the AEW-some Pod (link in bio).
Clorox Jello Shots(Mi... @CloroxJelloShot
410 Followers 4K Following Twitch Streamer, wannabe sim racer, obvious asshole, I sometimes do wrestling videos, sub to A Stiff Receipt on YouTube and TikTok, I A M B L E A C H
Kristin Shepherd @FeetahShepherd
6 Followers 88 Following
jeremy @jt4409
9 Followers 136 Following
sam @ShootThePlant
71 Followers 435 Following
ProbablyNotThough @justforlurks1
2K Followers 216 Following
SheOverAnalyzes @SheOverAnalyzes
9K Followers 2K Following Give me a minute, I need to overanalyze what you just said. https://t.co/2JwBK7A5OxYou might like
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