Sam Avery @sam__avery
Ranting from the binfire of life. Back on tour in 2025. Watch my 2023 special 'Role Model' on YouTube now. linktr.ee/samaverycomedy TOUR DATES / FULL SPECIALS ⬇️ Joined July 2009-
Tweets35K
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Followers27K
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Following2K
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Likes14K
Woke up feeling weird. Strange sensation in my stomach. Was it something I ate? Did I catch a bug? Poured myself a coffee and realised that, for the first time in a long time, I’m EXCITED ABOUT AN EVERTON MATCH! UTFT 💙
Forget Monday, announce it now. Election tomorrow. Get the bastards gone before Antiques Roadshow.
Forget Monday, announce it now. Election tomorrow. Get the bastards gone before Antiques Roadshow.
‘Near future’ is so subjective. The universe is 13.7 billion years old so this could be after we’re all dead, they’ve won another 50 titles and the 777 takeover of Everton is almost complete.
‘Near future’ is so subjective. The universe is 13.7 billion years old so this could be after we’re all dead, they’ve won another 50 titles and the 777 takeover of Everton is almost complete.
Sam Avery retweeted
The Kings of Goodison On this day in 1915 Everton became Champions Technically, they would hold the trophy (ish) for the next five years Read More Here: tinyurl.com/4fz5k8ux
Ancelotti will wear a trackie for the Champions League final now. Just watch.
Sam Avery retweeted
.@sam__avery on tonight's Merseyside Derby Watch the full show - youtu.be/6M8PEIezcBs
Sam Avery retweeted
Are Claw Machines Fixed!? Watch the latest 1878 FM Podcast @PED7 @lamb_matty @sam__avery youtu.be/6M8PEIezcBs
Sam Avery retweeted
I didn’t think we’d last beyond a few months, now we’re heading into Year 5 with some HUGE slices of comic book & movie history to get into
I didn’t think we’d last beyond a few months, now we’re heading into Year 5 with some HUGE slices of comic book & movie history to get into
Forest offering straighteners to everyone while the landlord ushers them out the alehouse.
Forest offering straighteners to everyone while the landlord ushers them out the alehouse. https://t.co/s5rtQA7i8F
I’m enjoying Twitter / X. I seem to have found a bunch of Tory-hating, dissatisfied, rabble-rousing, lefty wisecrackers and I feel right at home.
1. Emotive language 2. False victim narrative 3. Mild threat Donald Trump could’ve written this.
1. Emotive language 2. False victim narrative 3. Mild threat Donald Trump could’ve written this.
Sam Avery retweeted
Calling all Toffees! While you’re celebrating your win over Forest then get your tickets for as little as £2 for this signed shirt. #Everton #UTFT @Lea_EFC @TonyBellew @Getintothis @Haywaphi17 @speedomick @sam__avery @missyellisx @CBobblers1878 @johnmerro1 @dixiedeansboots
Calling all Toffees! While you’re celebrating your win over Forest then get your tickets for as little as £2 for this signed shirt. #Everton #UTFT @Lea_EFC @TonyBellew @Getintothis @Haywaphi17 @speedomick @sam__avery @missyellisx @CBobblers1878 @johnmerro1 @dixiedeansboots
My face when I think of this match. Stuck on a train. Come on Everton.
Sam Avery retweeted
What is Smart Water?? Watch the latest 1878 FM Podcast on YouTube or listen wherever you get your podcasts! 🎙️ @PED7 @davidvitty @sam__avery youtu.be/9JzGJAqkYWo
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6K Followers 872 Following Comedian. Content creator. Linguistic discriminator. By replying to my tweets you consent to the possibility of being publicly ridiculed.
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9K Followers 988 Following If you can’t handle me at my worst, then you probably shouldn’t be a doorman at a Wetherspoons. Come see my new tour show 👇
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243 Followers 113 Following London based comedian jumping on the Twitter thing cos I've been told I should use this medium to tell jokes, don't think it'll last!
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1K Followers 608 Following Professor. Director of Research. Views are my own. he/him #disability #embodiment #sociology #criticalpedagogy #qualitative #BlackLivesMatter
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Sarah Gee 💙 🇪�.. @SarahABGee
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Kyle Matous @kylematous
625 Followers 4K Following UVA ‘07. Former House Rules staff and Hill COS. ONE alum. Go Hoos, mainly.
Sean Moran @seanmorancomedy
366 Followers 1K Following Comedian, parent, napper. https://t.co/pOuqdvhiCp
Jonathan Harvey @JOJEHARVEY
34K Followers 3K Following I’ve got all me own teeth. More available than you think. Agent: Michael McCoy @ITG_Ltd
Paul McGowan @PaulMcG99253953
2K Followers 1K Following Fuck the tories is implied but may have to express it from time to time.
@sam__avery Sam, that was the worst 1-0 win ever, yet it feels so good, the next fee days of your tour, you should just come on to “I guess that’s why they cal it the blues” and fucking walk off, it all sound 🔵⚪️
It’s great @Everton are safe. BUT We will never forget how the @premierleague tried to sacrifice one of England’s oldest and greatest clubs. I will have more to say on this soon.
@sam__avery My son wasn’t born he was born June the following year obvs celebrated too much that time
@sam__avery Prince Andrew’s never been sound mate☝️
@sam__avery I know but just enjoying a bit of harmless banter 😜👍
@sam__avery Last time Everton won a derby was Wednesday pal 👍🏼
Merseyside Media Queen @GiuliaBould liked one of my tweets earlier so I’ll be spending the build up to today’s game doing a bit of fanboying lads. ✊🏻💙
@sam__avery 😂😂😂 All true, except Ashley Young, who was 37.
@sam__avery Don’t think Randy Andy was ever sound if we’re going to be honest about it 😉
@sam__avery Is that the iPad that came out 10 months before the 2010 victor?
@sam__avery Snickers were marathons , starbursts were opal fruits and Savile had just received his knighthood 👀
@sam__avery The Morgan Constant. A reference point for variations in cuntery.
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