Man vs Baby @mattcoyney
‘Man vs Baby’ is Matt Coyne, author of 2 x Sunday Times bestselling books. Contributor to GQ, Private Eye, The Guardian & the existence of a small human. linktr.ee/manvsbaby Sheffield, England Joined February 2016-
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My favourite thing about the Rwanda plan.. For every asylum seeker sent, a Rwandan national will be sent the other way. I’m not saying it’s a scheme created by buffoons but.., you could fly in from Rwanda, claim asylum, and be sent back to Rwanda.. to be swapped for yourself.😂
Just a reminder that, if the Rwanda flights ever get off the ground, it will Cost 1.8 million quid in taxpayers money for EACH asylum seeker sent. The state of this country under these clowns, give me five hundred quid and a plane ticket and I’LL go.
Had a sportier, more active Sunday morning than usual, participating in The #LondonMarathon ✊🏻 I didn't run, but I did have to dodge a shitload of runners to get into the McDonald's just off of Tower Bridge. By the time I sat down to my Sausage Mcmuffin I was fucked.
This is shameless.. but this is also the cheapest I’ve seen Frank and Red so far! 16% OFF.. (for now at least.. Amaz0n is nuts, it could be three hundred quid or 40p tomorrow, it’s like everything is priced up by whoever does the middle aisle in Lidl, but after a 2-day bender.)
My favourite 3 star reviews of Frank and Red: “I adore this book, only giving it 3 stars though as I haven’t finished it yet”🤷🏻♂️ “My book of the year! but arrived late and cover was ruined by a sticker ⭐️⭐️⭐️.”
What AI ‘creatives’ fail to recognise is that the knowledge that a piece of art or writing is created in this way renders it pointless. To anybody with a soul, this ‘art’, not born of human experience and emotion, is just bleeps and boops.
Just been offered a job to use my writing skills to train an AI to be a better writer. Jesus wept. What do I do at the end of the contract, just walk into a wood chipper?
LONG overdue. It is utterly insane that in English law if you hit someone you can be arrested for assault. …unless that person is your son or daughter, one third your size and unable to defend themselves.
There’s arrogance, and then there’s sh*tting the bed so badly at your job that you last 44 days and then writing a book about how great you are.
You know how parents say they would jump in front of a speeding car or take a bullet for their child? Thankfully, most of us never face this test in real life. ..But a sausage just exploded in our air-fryer and I instantly jumped behind my child, and a little bit pissed my pants.
Huge milestone for Frank and Red! Thank you SO much AGAIN for all the love. Every kind message, comment and review means the 🌎!
The post office scandal should raise manslaughter charges. They knew. No way a load of sub postmasters suddenly opted for a life of crime. But admitting that would’ve cost a lot of money. They ruined people and drove some to take their own lives… for money. Manslaughter.
So, are we all agreed that anybody who was born into money, never had to worry about money, and literally has the word money in their name.. has no right to bollock on about ‘hustling’.
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@mattcoyney Genuine question how did you arrive at that figure?
@mattcoyney Just the thought that a government of a country in the middle of a cost of living crisis is prepared to spend that outrageous amount of money to send ONE person away makes me sick. They should be using the money to help people with difficulties instead. It makes me so angry.
Looking forward to finding out which books are on the shortlist. I’m going to try to read them all. Which ones are you hoping will be in the final 6?
We are on the final countdown! Join us on Wednesday 24th April at 8am BST as we unveil the 2024 #WomensPrize for Fiction shortlist. Which books from the longlist are you hoping to see? Let us know in the comments!
Someone left a dead body in a rather visible place…
@BigBeardyBooks @DjangoWexler Just started The Last Devil to Die by @richardosman and have a lovely signed copy of Frank and Red by @mattcoyney waiting on the wings.
We’ve done shooting!! (I won 😁)
I HAVE FOUND MY BOOKMARK. IT'S A FRIDAY MIRACLE!
I’ve had the loveliest day with my oldest nephew ❤️ He helped me with some laptop stuff and my delayed train compensation that I couldn’t do the other day. And helped with my curtain rail dilemmas! Bloody love him!
@mattcoyney @KingBobIIV Bit harsh on photoshop.
@mattcoyney I got a 5 star review once that read: (drum roll...) 'Good condition' . Oh.
Been invited to a very exciting book event in London - my first ever!!- for a book I adore. Keep everything crossed my lovely mother can babysit Jacky Boy ❤️🤞🏻🤞🏻🤞🏻🤞🏻
I had a wonderful chat with my editor @ailahahmed this morning about what has mattered most to me so far as an author & it truly has been reader responses to #TheListofSuspiciousThings. Every day I get a message, post or a what’s app, & it means everything. #booktwitter
@mattcoyney Oh dear :( 3 stars for each half perhaps? and of course you personally put on all the stickers.............
@Bibliotreasures @OrendaBooks @costanzacasati @writer_suzy @jennieg_author @mattcoyney @panmacmillan @HutchHeinemann @thebobpalmer @MichaelJBooks So funny, I hope there is a series with those two solving crimes and being rude to each other.
6.30am start on an ambulance calls for coffee! And I got my free reusable cup 😄 Have a good day folks! ☕️
@mattcoyney Somebody had put her books in the science fiction and fantasy section of a London bookstore 🤣
@mattcoyney Your book has passed round my friends. They love it. (Sorry if that hasn't helped sales)
@mattcoyney There is not one justifiable excuse for striking a child ever. Plain and simply it’s abuse and it causes immense mental health damage.
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