Patrick Anderson @pimlius
Exactly equal to the sum of my tweets. Burbank, California Joined March 2011-
Tweets40K
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Followers438
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Following481
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Likes24K
The Berenstain Bears and the HIPAA Violation
If anyone out there is looking to get rid of evidence of a crime or other wrongdoing feel free to DM me. For a small fee I will hand the evidence to my toddler and tell him it’s the Roku remote and you will never have to worry about it again.
One of the darkly amusing things about being older than 40 is that with each passing year the previously affirming “Life begins at 40!” gradually morphs into a bleak reminder that you are now squandering the life that began at 40 on top of the actual life that began at birth.
Taylor Swift’s next album title
Taylor Swift’s next album title
What Pete Holmes is doing here seems like the exact opposite of stand up comedy
What Pete Holmes is doing here seems like the exact opposite of stand up comedy
Life hack: if you are about to sneeze, put the cup of coffee down
There are two types of people in this world — those that diligently replace the lid of the “hummus quartet” container so that the labeled quadrant on the lid properly lines up with the indicated variety of hummus in the container beneath it, and sociopaths.
Man the original Thomas the Tank Engine gets pretty dark. This is a sweet little story about Trevor the traction engine who is essentially on death row, waiting in the scrap yard to be broken up and melted down because he’s outdated.
Looking at a car and saying “nice wheels” is an example of synecdoche except when the person saying it is 2 years old.
RIP Daniel Dennett but also the person who wrote this obituary is clearly not a hard determinist
The radio station playing “You Oughta Know” right after “Take on Me” is proof the playlist is being generated by an AI. No human being would choose that transition. It requires a robot’s soul.
Is this how you do topical memes
I’m reading one of Michael Connelly’s Harry Bosch novels and came across this oddity in a scene where Bosch is talking to the widow of another cop. Is this an editing error or is Detective Bosch now inexplicably holding two mugs of coffee?
Blippi is what you would get if an AI were asked to recreate Pee-wee Herman
[my wife does today’s NYT Connections puzzle better and faster than me] Me: “Maybe I see TOO MANY connections”
I rewatched the music video for “Gangnam Style” tonight and you know what? Great song, great music video.
southpaw @nycsouthpaw
257K Followers 7K Following Writer, lawyer, Dodger fan, idealist, hater. nycsouthpaw18 at gmail. RTs = endorsement or scorn. Insta / bluesky / threads same handle.
Stephen Fishbach @stephenfishbach
62K Followers 996 Following 2x Survivor loser. Pushcart Prize-winning writer. Host of the Paraphrase podcast. Your retweets of me are endorsements.
Professor Darren Hutc.. @dissentingj
22K Followers 19K Following BA: Penn; JD: Yale. Emory University School of Law. John Lewis Chair in Civil Rights & Social Justice. Google Scholar: https://t.co/hTH4qwVIBr 2 Black Labs Dad
SeeSo Stan @ShutUpTim
2K Followers 601 Following 3rd Comp Beast. 3rd Sister (officially) https://t.co/vaXd9CDjBF
Sad Liberal @Sad_Liberal
11 Followers 512 Following I think that we have entered Early Dystopia. Meanwhile, I am waiting for a personal flying machine. #KAD
betty patricia @JulieLe68869622
455 Followers 3K Following
Linda Bennett @LindaBennett063
5 Followers 86 Following
Pam @yusayur32168879
4 Followers 691 Following
Patrick Stevenson @_PatStevenson_
107 Followers 335 Following
ElonMusk @kay123012311
26 Followers 378 Following CEO, and Chief Designer of Spacex CEO and product architect of Tesla, Inc. Founder of The Boring Company Co-founder of Neuralink, OpenAl
^ Olivia Johansson ^ @oliviajohassonS
2K Followers 3K Following I'm just being me, I've had and still have many times of failure, but I'm much better than I was before, thank you God. IG - oleiolivajhson
Laura Helmuth @laurahelmuth
53K Followers 8K Following Editor in chief @SciAm. @laurahelmuth.bsky.social @[email protected] @ScienceWriters @washingtonpost @NatGeo @Slate @SmithsonianMag @NewsFromScience
Suzann Thompson @textilefusion
1K Followers 1K Following Author, crocheter, knitter, art maker, Comanche County TX Democratic Party Chair, family gal, @CtrKnitCrochet social media team leader, she/her.
Lucy @Jinglucyy25
674 Followers 900 Following Not a bot, not looking to build a following, just want to learn and have fun.
i0asqyjfq8 @q39kw7tbxq
0 Followers 346 Following If you want to make friends, you can contact me anytime TG：https://t.co/oxGLIv1EMD WS：https://t.co/s63XINcgWB
Seedy Marie @MarieSeedy7215
9 Followers 668 Following
Trinity Zinsli @trinit_zins
39 Followers 5K Following
lsabella @lsabella14152
55 Followers 1K Following Success is not final, failure is not fatal: It is the courage to continue that counts.
Lilliana Gorn @GorLillia
53 Followers 5K Following
the tribal clown @ruega_por_ella
724 Followers 377 Following Escuchela, la ciudad respirando. #lakeshow #raidernation #dodgerland
Eva Mily @radeto15
93 Followers 367 Following I’ll get over it, I just need to tweet about it first.
Linda Dawson @LindaDawso65944
87 Followers 4K Following
JOSIAH @JOSIAH706748771
107 Followers 911 Following
Shelley Eleanor @ShelleyEleanor2
45 Followers 312 Following #Bitcoin $ | @BitcoinMagazine Pro | Senior Analyst @UTXOmgmt| Co-Founder https://t.co/6PBriRFuP0 United Kingdom @BitcoinMagazinePro.com
Deon Kim @DeonKim115562
8 Followers 617 Following
nancie m @nanciem12
258 Followers 896 Following
hatchetwound @sometimescrazi
321 Followers 2K Following undercover right winger living in Peoples Republic of Seattle
bite-sized IR @ir_bites_
8 Followers 11 Following for people who are insufferable enough to like international politics but don't have the attention span to learn anything about it
Journeyman Tweeter @Coast_L_Elite
13 Followers 107 Following I know a lot about cycling and golf, and very little about anything else. Seeking enlightenment. He/him.
VergieVallin @VallinVerg2476
42 Followers 2K Following
Peter Lewis @plewis67
928 Followers 2K Following finance & tech: https://t.co/3odw4NeJYY other writing: https://t.co/lxGEydlgK5
Yves Saint Laurent is.. @YSL2damnhigh
176 Followers 351 Following Views are absolutely those of my employer. Openly black. BLM | ACAB | he/him
Gladys Cruz @CruzGladys88557
83 Followers 3K Following
Tanete @Tanete349108
88 Followers 1K Following I live alone now and enjoy business, traveling, shopping, food and music. I have a calm personality and I hope we can be friends.
Jeffmai @jeffmaimd
0 Followers 2K Following
Aimee Adamson @AimeeiuAdamson
43 Followers 1K Following Gathered on the site of girls from all US states 😈 Ready for a 1 on 1 meeting Some have naked profile photos! Watching this https://t.co/i9wo6Ml31Q
Heidi @heidi_shaver51
159 Followers 3K Following
LeonardBohmker @LBohmker7194
60 Followers 2K Following
Phyllis @phyllis_anglin2
226 Followers 3K Following
Sandy Hubbard @HubbardSan64185
71 Followers 3K Following
Asher Price @asherprice
3K Followers 1K Following Austin reporter @axios, frmr @statesman journo. My books: Earl Campbell: Yards After Contact; Year of the Dunk; The Great Texas Wind Rush. [email protected]
Wheacke @wheacke95380
2 Followers 1K Following
MIDNIGHT _ RIDERS @kimcoleman0
123 Followers 332 Following Love family | God | America, 🚀Podcast - The Benny Show🎥 | Proudly A Fan Account.
Barthelemy de Chassen.. @chasseneuz
114 Followers 80 Following Lawyer for rats. Tweets are not legal advice or solicitation to provide legal service. Consult a lawyer licensed to represent your species in your jurisdiction.
Наталья Пар.. @smartalek180
4K Followers 5K Following Если вы хотите высоко подняться, пользуйтесь собственными ногами! Не позволяйте нести себя, не садитесь на чужие плечи и головы! #GodSaveAmerica #GOPDelendaEst
southpaw @nycsouthpaw
257K Followers 7K Following Writer, lawyer, Dodger fan, idealist, hater. nycsouthpaw18 at gmail. RTs = endorsement or scorn. Insta / bluesky / threads same handle.
b-boy bouiebaisse @jbouie
457K Followers 1K Following My name is Jamelle Bouie. @nytopinion columnist. Co-host of @UnclearPod. Upgrade your grey matter, ‘cuz one day it may matter.
Stephen Fishbach @stephenfishbach
62K Followers 996 Following 2x Survivor loser. Pushcart Prize-winning writer. Host of the Paraphrase podcast. Your retweets of me are endorsements.
Public Counsel @PublicCounsel
5K Followers 1K Following We defend our communities, shape just policy, and advance civil rights through legal services, action and advocacy. #JusticeForAll
Professor Darren Hutc.. @dissentingj
22K Followers 19K Following BA: Penn; JD: Yale. Emory University School of Law. John Lewis Chair in Civil Rights & Social Justice. Google Scholar: https://t.co/hTH4qwVIBr 2 Black Labs Dad
Hollywood Burbank ✈.. @fly_BUR
14K Followers 519 Following Official Twitter of Hollywood Burbank Airport (BUR). Info on social media policy: https://t.co/Qxyq2uIFud — MAIN: 818.840.8840 // AFTER-HOURS: 818.840.8830
Burbank Fire Departme.. @BurbankFire
5K Followers 18 Following This is the official Twitter account of the City of Burbank’s Fire Department. For terms and conditions, please visit: https://t.co/TTlkiOpbx8
BurbankWaterAndPower @BurbankH2OPower
3K Followers 468 Following BWP serves 45,000 households and 6,000 businesses with water and electricity.
YourChildhoodMemories @YourChildhoodM
261 Followers 85 Following It’s the first week of summer. You just got home from playing at the park with your friends. Pizza rolls are in the oven and Toonami is on the tv. Life is good.
Nostalgia @NostalgiaFolder
734K Followers 170 Following Posting nostalgic images and videos. dm for submissions #nostalgia #nostalgic
NY Vintage Micros @NYVintageMicros
181 Followers 81 Following Preserving vintage micro computers with a focus on vintage computing entertainment and computer history evangelism.
roger bennett @rogbennett
254K Followers 2K Following A million podcasts on @MenInBlazers (Tweets sent may be used on Men In Blazers worldwide) & HBO's #BandOfBrothers Pod Appearances: [email protected]
Sierra On-Line Univer.. @SierraOnLineUni
4K Followers 2K Following Sierra On-Line was an American video game developer and publisher. Founded in 1979 by Ken and Roberta Williams.
Republic of Slowjamas.. @slowjamastan
5K Followers 153 Following The United Territories of The Sovereign Nation of The People’s Republic of Slowjamastan. A landlocked country with an area of 11.07 acres, surrounded by CA, USA
Retro Dream @Retroldies
805 Followers 30 Following Artistic shots of retro computers and games. Real stuff not emulation. 8/16 bit machines of the 80s: Amstrad, Apple, Atari, Commodore, IBM, MSX, NES, Sega...
Ahmed Fouad Alkhatib @afalkhatib
40K Followers 1K Following Proud American from Gaza City; pro-Palestine, pro-peace, anti-Hamas; lost 31 family members in the war; Nonresident Senior Fellow @ACMideast; views are my own
scott burt @scottburtknx
3K Followers 422 Following Aviator. Traffic Reporter KNX News 97.1, Los Angeles. Born in KC, LA is home. All pics my own, unless specified. GO CHIEFS!
LA City Emergency Man.. @ReadyLA
38K Followers 558 Following Emergency Management Dept. (EMD) CITY of Los Angeles. Call 911 for emergencies / Emergency alerts: @NotifyLA / [email protected] (not checked 24/7).
LA QuakeBot @earthquakesLA
503K Followers 6 Following I am a robot that tells you about earthquakes in Los Angeles as they happen. Built by @billsnitzer. Data is from the USGS. Get prepared: http://t.co/VtCEbuw6KH
Ami Dar @AmiDar
28K Followers 2K Following Husband, father, brother. Started https://t.co/CiUtaFU4uH. Freedom and dignity for all.
A Cambridge Diary @acambridgediary
53K Followers 74 Following The original Cambridge Diary. 5,000 continuous daily pictures of #cambridge New book 'Town & Gown' available now at https://t.co/JmfzBlMROL
I Think You Should Pa.. @ITYSLKids
6K Followers 231 Following ITYSL content with an occasional focus on parenting. If this goes well, they’ll let me into the Jump Junkies Stunt Crew
Market Urbanism @MarketUrbanism
50K Followers 1K Following Tweets by @smithsj / smithsj at gmail dot com
LAPD PIO @LAPDPIO
4K Followers 29 Following Los Angeles Police Department Media Relations Division l Not monitored 24/7 l Call 911 for an emergency
In Bed With The Right @InBedRightPod
864 Followers 126 Following A podcast about how conservatives see sex and gender, and how they keep fucking things up for the rest of us. Hosted by @adriandaub and @moiradonegan.
NWS Los Angeles @NWSLosAngeles
145K Followers 805 Following Official Twitter account for the National Weather Service Los Angeles. Details: https://t.co/XR2JbmS8pl
Little Lost Angeles H.. @littlelostla
502 Followers 197 Following Save the Viper Room! Sign and share the petition! (I also build scale models of places LA has lost.)
Brian Jordan Alvarez @brianjoralvarez
109K Followers 1K Following actor: Will & Grace, M3GAN, English Teacher (upcoming)
Actual Names @ActualNames1
89K Followers 3K Following Purveyor of the finest in luxury silly names from genealogical and other sources.
PupScanLA @PupscanLA
41K Followers 575 Following Tweeting about Pursuits in LA and Posting Breaking News in LA, Tracking Media Helicopters, Dispatcher/Stinger For @TrafficNewsLA
Steve Vladeck @steve_vladeck
216K Followers 3K Following @ksvesq’s husband; father of daughters; C.A. Wright Chair in Federal Courts @UTexasLaw; #SCOTUS nerd @CNN; NYT bestseller: https://t.co/FmqTSPSMH3; #LGM
If Books Could Kill @IfBooksPod
47K Followers 2 Following The airport bestsellers that captured our hearts and ruined our minds. Every two weeks from @RottenInDenmark and @The_Law_Boy
Mark Hamill @MarkHamill
5.1M Followers 2K Following Believe in yourself! Work hard, never give up & anything's possible! OR: Kick back, relax & aim low: You'll never be disappointed...😜 I IGNORE ALL DMs!
Surprised Eel Histori.. @greenleejw
36K Followers 270 Following Surprised historian, not surprised eels. Doctor of Medieval History. Talkin' 'bout eels, maps, my kids & my dog. Maps on commission: https://t.co/ZmGIhKXK52
Zillow Gone Wild 🏡 @zillowgonewild
619K Followers 10 Following join the zillionaires 🏡. email me wild homes: [email protected]. Subscribe to the Zillow Gone Wild newsletter to never miss a wild home 👇
A-hole Ghost @hole_ghost
354 Followers 2K Following Ghost of an A-hole who predicts things. "Being right too soon is socially unacceptable."--Robert A. Heinlein
Brian Douglas @BrianDouglasKNX
3K Followers 735 Following Traffic and Breaking News Reporter, Afternoon Anchor, Airborne Reporter for KNX News 97.1 FM Audacy Los Angeles and Dad to Jack and husband to Jenn!
Doug Smith @LATDoug
1K Followers 17 Following Rode a horse up Mt. Whitney, 1964; rode a D4, Wasco, 1966; rode an R69 to NY, 1969; rode an Osprey to Baghdad, 2008; ride a Sportster to LA, every day: L2RR2L.
Cory. @CoryxKenshin
2.1M Followers 234 Following Just trying to live in God's image.. https://t.co/daF7UfyZhg
Adam Newman @Adam_Newman
10K Followers 487 Following Comedian with specials on YouTube, Comedy Central, and Amazon. PuzzyBoyz Pod. Not very active on Twitter.
Michael Connelly @Connellybooks
89K Followers 714 Following Harry Bosch, Mickey Haller, Renée Ballard, Jack McEvoy... This is the official Twitter account for author Michael Connelly, run by his social media manager.
Health Nerd @GidMK
81K Followers 2K Following https://t.co/hkLzdpoOQd Epidemiologist. Writer (Slate, TIME, etc). ' Research fellow at @UoW Host of @senscipod Email [email protected] he/him
Richard Winton @LAcrimes
20K Followers 3K Following LA Times crime/investigative writer. Pulitzer winner. Tweets are mine. [email protected]
Three Year Letterman @3YearLetterman
461K Followers 1K Following Youth Football Coaching Legend, Die-hard Georgia Fan, Three-Year High School Football Letterman, Showstopping Little League Umpire, Region Champion (3-way tie)
make up a guy @makeupaguy
159K Followers 9 Following im the guy who makes up guys ♡ please send me submissions in DMs♡ I dont do promotions♡
Horror4Kids @horror4kids
93K Followers 2K Following A Spooky Place For Kids Of ALL Ages To Celebrate ALL Things Horror. 👻 For Promotional/Business Inquiries Please Contact: [email protected]
Karl Mill @karl_mill
114 Followers 298 Following Attorney for Nonprofits, Mill Law Center (https://t.co/A8ws1151JD) he/him For better or worse, tweets are only my own views
A new King rises. "Boy, 13, finds 'holy grail' Lego octopus piece from sea spillage in 1997" news.sky.com/story/boy-13-f…
May it be a light to you in dark places, when all other lights go out.
Frances Cowcock England, Yorkshire, Bishop's Transcripts, 1547-1957
Mario Kart Wii came out 16 years ago today in the US.
For most of my adult life I relied on public transportation. It’s a hardship but possible in a big city. Running late is factored in to every trip; however, there is no worse violation by a driver/ operator of public transport than to run AHEAD of schedule. It’s unacceptable.
How do you turn something as basic as "Lockheed Martin supplies Israel" into something from the wall of John Nash's shed.
Understandable, you’re just a NYTimes reporter. Columbia students made a handy map for you though.
Among developed countries, women have fewer kids in countries where people are more likely to believe that moms shouldn’t work.
"(Muskrats) help the world come to life, even if we don’t readily notice them doing so; their diminishment would reverberate far beyond them." A @9brandon/@hakaimagazine feature on semiaquatic rodents accompanied by @Sarah_Gilman art?! Clickclickclick. hakaimagazine.com/features/the-m…
Caleb Williams? I thought Chicago was going to draft a bear. I really thought that. #NFLdraft
Inflation only seems high because the BLS isn't considering the increased quality of cocaine.
Charles Macpenis Massachusetts, Boston Tax Records, 1822-1918 #incompatible
James Limpcock Father England Births and Christenings, 1538-1975
@ITYSL_memes I went to the website but they’re all sold out. I guess the fact that there is a website is enough to convince me they’re real though
But you gotta give. Otherwise it goes dark.
These ‘pee stain denim’ designer jeans have an eye-popping price tag: ‘Why would anyone wear this?’ trib.al/ygVyrWf
imagine if ur girl’s Weird Friend lived in the ceiling
I generally Monitor My Environment by sound and live in a loft above our living room/kitchen without walls and when Jen’s fiancé would do stuff down there “alone” I’d always be commenting on it or asking what he was doing if I couldn’t tell by ear and he was like “😐”
@NostalgiaFolder Me when the ice cream was gone.
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