Nate Patel @natepatelmedia

Deep thinker. Joke slinger. Aspiring right testicle donor. United Kingdom Joined April 2024

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Nate Patel @natepatelmedia

10 hours ago

I wrote a book about every time my penis almost got a full on boner. It’s the truest semi-autobiographical anyone’s ever wrote.

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Nate Patel @natepatelmedia

a day ago

They say Jack The Ripper might’ve had kids. Imagine finding out you were related to Jack The Ripper. I mean, they say the truth hurts. But that’s really gotta feel like - a slash round the throat…

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Nate Patel @natepatelmedia

4 days ago

New Delhi, India’s pollution level is crazy. It’s got to be one of the few places on Earth where going for a jog is actually bad for you.

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Nate Patel @natepatelmedia

5 days ago

Gave rom-com Anyone But You a go in theatre. The only entertaining thing about watching that movie was everyone considering the possibility that me and my friend were gay.

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Nate Patel @natepatelmedia

5 days ago

The AI craze is real. Was at McDonalds. Guy in front ordered a burger. Cashier asked if he wanted fries with that. Guy asked if it came with AI. Come on, dude…

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Nate Patel @natepatelmedia

6 days ago

The state of schools are appalling. Pulled out a pen from my cramped, messy locker. And the entire school collapsed.

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Nate Patel @natepatelmedia

a week ago

Saw on the news a Deliveroo driver bit a guy’s finger off while giving him his food. Fair play. Nothing on Deliveroo for cannibals.

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Nate Patel @natepatelmedia

a week ago

Saw a cemetery car park sign that said “Park your car at your own risk.” I guess the dead still steal…

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Nate Patel @natepatelmedia

a week ago

Went to a funeral, came back home, and discovered a hole in the ass of my trousers. How's your day going?

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Nate Patel @natepatelmedia

2 weeks ago

I’m new to this whole social media thing. So X is for humans? And SpaceX is for aliens?

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Nate Patel @natepatelmedia

2 weeks ago

Okay, the jig’s up. “X” is two “X’s” away from being turned into an adult site. But that was the plan all along. Wasn’t it, @elonmusk? I just wanted to say: genius.

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My grandmother, who I care for, said to better my skincare routine. I told her I don’t have time. She said to drop anything that doesn’t add value to my life and make time. I no longer care for my grandmother.