Coa @joincoa

We are so excited to share that Coa cofounder @dremilyanhalt has a book coming out with @PutnamBooks this spring! FLEX YOUR FEELINGS is a blueprint for building the 7 traits of emotional fitness. You can preorder the book now through this link: amzn.to/4hjLAqc

The behaviors we adopt as children to protect ourselves from unhealthy environments become the behaviors that, as adults, drive our relationships to dysfunctional places. It’s hard to change these behaviors until you understand them. Have self-compassion while you do the work.

11 magic therapy phrases that are useful for every conversation (and why they work): As a therapist, I've learned to listen differently. Rather than jumping horizontally across topics, I try to dig down vertically to get to the (sometimes uncomfortable but deeply important) stuff the hides beneath the surface. I've picked up a few phrases along the way that help with this, and I've found that they're useful far beyond therapy. Use these with your friends, partner, teammates, and even with yourself: 1) 🗯 Can you say more about that? When it comes to emotional conversation, the first thing a person says to you is generally not what they need you to know. This phrase shows that you're present, interested, and ready to learn more. 2) 👂🏻 I think what I’m hearing is... It's amazing how often I reflect what I think I'm hearing to someone, and it turns out I got it wrong! This phrase ensures you're on the same page and hearing what needs to be heard. 3) 🤔 What would it mean to you if... The meaning we make of something affects us much more than the thing itself. This phrase invites a person to wonder with you - to look inward and think about what meaning they ascribe to a particular thing. 4) 💕 I imagine you might be feeling... It's powerful to help someone name what they're feeling, and to show that you understand (and are open to) the emotional communication. This phrase also leaves room for them to say, no actually I think what I'm feeling is... 5) ❓ Does that resonate with you? This is a great way to check in about whether or not your thoughts or advice have truly landed. It also communicates that you're willing and ready to hear if you got it wrong. 6) 🤫 [long pause to make space for more] Silence is the most powerful conversation tool I know. You'll be amazed at what a person will share with you if you give them a bit of extra space & time to reflect and expand on what they've said. 7) 👥 You’re not alone in this. This one might sound simple or trite, but we are so good at convincing ourselves that we ARE alone in our experiences and emotions. This simple reminder can make a true world of difference. 8) 👇 What's the question beneath the question? Sometimes it's clear that there is more to what someone is asking. This phrase helps dig down a layer deeper. 9) 💍 I’m not married to this idea but is it possible that... We tend to be defensive when we perceive that answers or advice are being TOLD to us rather than offered. This is a great way to offer your thoughts tentatively. 10) 🧠 What do you make of that? I use this phrase as an invitation to reflect on why a particular thing might be. Understanding the why can unlock our ability to figure out what should happen next. 11) ✨ [nod in support without interrupting] It can really throw off our flow when we're interrupted (even with affirmations). Show that you're present with body language instead of words. Follow me @dremilyanhalt for more emotional fitness and psych concepts simplified. And if these phrases were helpful, retweet to support your community!

On love and grief ❤️‍🔥

Your responsibility: 💕 being decently kind 🛋 working on yourself 🤝 doing what you say you’ll do 🗣 learning & voicing your needs Not your responsibility: 🔧 fixing people 💡 having it all figured out 🤩 being liked by everyone 🤖 denying your feelings for others’ comfort

The assumptions you make about other people’s intentions will tell you everything about how you’ve been treated in your most vulnerable moments.

The 7 Essential Traits of Emotionally Fit Leaders buff.ly/3E7rZY8

On the Review, Dr. Anhalt, the co-founder of @joincoa unpacks a founder’s guide to self-awareness. review.firstround.com/the-art-of-sel…

So excited to see @dremilyanhalt @joincoa back in @firstround exploring the importance of self-awareness for founders. 💪

First Round @firstround

3 years ago

There are a slew of traits that set high-impact founders apart from the pack. But psychologist (& founder herself) @dremilyanhalt argues that the very same traits that make founders successful can also sneakily hold them back. New on the Review ⬇️ review.firstround.com/the-art-of-sel…

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So excited to share my first LinkedIn Learning Course on building stronger work relationships. You can check it out for free for the next 24 hours with this link. Let me know what you think! linkedin.com/learning/skill…

When your kid brings home a report card with six A’s and one C, instead of pointing to the C and asking, “What happened here?” start with, “Wow! What made it possible for you to get these A’s?” This will shift how they relate to their strengths and struggles for years to come.

Everything does not always have to be “for the best.” It’s ok if a painful experience didn’t make you stronger. It’s ok if you’re angry about a trauma, and not grateful for how it shaped you. Sometimes things are just shitty. And that’s ok. Surviving is enough.

The question is not why the addiction, but why the pain. - Gabor Maté

love these conversation starters ⬇️⬇️⬇️ @joincoa x @askDiem

Diem @askDiem

3 years ago

Today, Coa's kicking off 3 conversations in Diem on all things confidence! ❤️‍🔥 @joincoa x @askdiem A few thought starters:

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@katekiewel @dunn @elonmusk Healthy founders healthy returns 💪❤️ joincoa.com

One important hallmark of mental health and emotional development is the ability to exist in the grey. This is tough for everyone - black and white thinking is so much more straightforward and comfortable - but the truths of life almost always live somewhere in the middle.

Join our Wellness Workshop, hosted by @joincoa today at 1pm ET. Have questions about mental health benefits and the logistics around choosing which are best for your organization and implementing them? Get answers: hubs.ly/Q01Nzch00 #employeewellness #humanresources

She’s an expert in setting boundaries. Are you? @joincoa, says we tend to feel guilty and apologize when it’s not needed and say, “Sorry." She leads the #PBWC2023 conversation on emotional fitness at #Engage.

Depression is a tricky motherf*cker with a selective memory and a very convincing voice. If you’re having a tough time right now, reach out to a therapist or trusted loved one who can remind you that this is not how you’ve always felt, and it’s not how you’ll always feel.

@ChaseLarabee @iamshackelford Thanks, Chase! Check out our classes here: joincoa.com