Jaimie Milburn @jmilbz
Figuring it out, making jokes, & probably embarrassing myself in the process. Toronto Joined January 2009-
Tweets18K
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Followers328
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Following304
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Likes3K
But actually
Staying at a 5-star safari camp this weekend has made me realize I don’t need a man, I need a hot water bottle placed in my bed every night.
I know I’ve seen hundreds of them, but I still don’t believe that zebras are real.
I’m in Kenya sipping red wine on a couch with a dear friend while watching Girls5eva and sometimes life is magical and weird.
Five year plan? I just wake up every day and see what the vibes are.
When will y’all stop selling out shitty men’s shows? 🙃
Following my plastic surgeon on IG means him posting pictures of the breast reconstruction conference he’s at and it makes me feel a lot better, tbh.
I’m just a baby who’s stomach always hurts because of the medicine she’s on and now she can’t eat mountains of chocolate like on every other holiday.
I don’t know what a hot cross bun is, but I don’t think I’d like it.
I refuse to truly grow up until my last baby tooth falls out.
Happy one year to the day that my boxing gym opened and I signed up for my first training session in the wake of my then-boyfriend saying something super shitty 🙃🥊
How much crying is too much crying when watching Somebody Feed Phil?
Earlier this week I finished watching 268 episodes of the Real Housewives of Beverly Hills in 2 months, and the thing that’s been haunting me is how Kyle gets her Shark Flexstyle to work wherever she is in the world.
i am not a strong independent woman. i am entirely dependent on my Little Treats. i am a strong little treat dependent woman
all i ask for in a partner is that they have generational wealth
alesia. @alssiax
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"you shouldn't let your cat jump on the counter" my cat could take out a loan in my name if he wanted to
You get to pick one thing to be good at every week - working out, cooking, no screens, kicking ass at work, clean house. If you try to pick two things, you get sent to the back of the line and get no things.
Well I just did some research and holy shit it is quite literally the size of a bottle of wine
I swear by journaling but this is hilarious.
journaling was the most useless thing I ever attempted. Not only am I still suffering but now there's evidence 😒
well we need to have a long conversation about the prophecy. like…to be a hopeless romantic who feels like love never chooses them? to beg and scream at the sky for one person who doesn’t leave? devastating to relate to a song like this but here I am!!!!
“i was born in the wrong generation!” not me, if i couldn’t google a restaurant menu days in advance then i would die
Toronto!! One last reminder that I’m screening HAROLD AND MAUDE tonight at @innistownhall. This is a mask-mandatory event and free masks will be available from MaskBlocToronto. Hope to see you there ☔️🌼 eventbrite.ca/e/masked-at-th…
✌️days til THE TORTURED POETS DEPARTMENT
life is so enjoyable when you have trips planned, packages on the way, dates with friends/lover, hobbies.
just had my first green beans of the season we are so back!!!
me: dating is hard me on a date: why would a bull even be in a china shop to begin with
they should invent a love that doesn’t end in grief
Reboots are SO much fun, but it’s so disheartening every time I see studios give them the green light. There are so many writers with fully stacked scripts in their arsenal ready to tell their unique stories. When will we start taking a chance on them?
Next week! Harold & Maude rules, and this is a safe, responsible, and accessible way to check it out in the big screen!
Can’t wait to watch a classic while keeping each other safe 🌻😷 🎟️ tinyurl.com/haroldmaudeTO
Leo has been waiting for the day all winter