TheOtherJoan @devilnamedjoan
There is no “I” in team, but there are 2 in martini... and two martinis in me! 🍸👸🏼🍸 Buckle up Buttercup, the other Joan is here Las Vegas, NV Joined January 2020-
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"You think it's boring, but that's what I want." Me: ...🤣... "...and I mean that from the bottom of my heart." - some Virgo I know #quoteoftheday #Virgos #Grinch
You thought 2020 was bad? Just wait until you realize 1991 is about to be sooo 30 years ago. #NewsFlash
Leaders who have hidden in a bunker and gassed their own citizens include Saddam Hussein, Adolf Hitler and Donald Trump
Your reminder that tear gas is a chemical weapon banned in war.
I SURE DID, FUCKER. #TrumpLiedPeopleDied
West Virginia... is that like the back vagina? #askingforafriend
If April showers bring May flowers... Does April snow bring May blow? ☃️ #askingforafriend #whitegirlproblems
Afternoon special with Keifer Sutherland and Cougher Grace. There's a whole lot of coughing goin' on, and it's not the 'rona 🌬 #SaturdayVibes #420allmonth #AyeCorona
I've been hitting every 420 this month like Caitlyn Jenner hits innocent bystanders. #BuckleUp #420allmonth #
That she is me! 🍸👸🏼🛁 #QuaranQueen #QuarantiniMe #QuarantineQlub
That she is me! 🍸👸🏼🛁 #QuaranQueen #QuarantiniMe #QuarantineQlub
Since they decided to postpone the Olympics, does that make 2020-21 a special Olympics?
Please do not take medical advice from a man who looked directly at a solar eclipse.
There is a global pandemic and Americans literally only care about their own asshole. #ToiletPaperPanic #COVID19 #AmericaStrong
You know what’s a good way to practice social distancing? Drinking alone. 🍸 #Cheers #Quarantini #StayHome
Welcome to your new Joan. Joans are brought to you by the makers of light, darkness and everything. You have been warned 😈 #GoodBadPlace #Version2.9000
I don’t have a lot of regrets in life but getting into stand up comedy is definitely one of them.
Some ask #WWJD? My question is, 'What would Spock do?' 🖖 #logical #trek #humanproblems
Happy VD day! Cheers to America getting treatment and a prescription for that... #valentinesdaygift #TodayImFeeling
So these kids shared their latest drink, "The Hulk" ... Allegedly it's Hennessy plus Hypnotic that turns green when mixed 🤢 Let's just call this bath salts in a shot. #HappyVD #JoansJokes
So how much did the @NFL pay J-Lo to work a stripper pole.. at age 50... performing songs from 20 years ago? I guess if your demographic is over 40 year old men, well done 🤷🏼♀️ #SuperBowl2020
Gaia @Gaia10565616024
2 Followers 180 Following
Mali Hurren @hurren_ma
42 Followers 5K Following
Bronwen Griblin @BGriblin66
48 Followers 5K Following
Aleisha Segoviano @AleishSegovian
78 Followers 5K Following
Irene Sukovaty @IreneSukov76805
98 Followers 5K Following
Darci Pago @DarciPago76987
36 Followers 5K Following
Adeline Wentzel @wentzel73185
55 Followers 5K Following
Ailish Spranger @AilishSpra23674
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Yolonda Decos @deco_yolon
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Laurena Happ @LaurenaH35293
7 Followers 3K Following
Mozella Mackstutis @MozellaMac46793
39 Followers 5K Following
Margit Deike @MargiMargit
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Mariam Heugel @maria_heug
43 Followers 5K Following
Andi Rossiter @rossit_a
31 Followers 5K Following
Gay Daw @daw_gay71597
38 Followers 5K Following
Evelina Schabot @eveli_schabo
82 Followers 5K Following
Dona Maria Tamales @DonaMarias
1K Followers 2K Following Serving you the best tamales, margaritas & Mexican food in Las Vegas since 1980! #VegasBorn #VegasStrong
Deepika Agrawal @Deepika46707672
26 Followers 226 Following |boss lady| |self obsessed| |Messed up| |Fucked up🖕🏻| Motherfucker and bitches stay away
IMMIX Productions - N.. @immix_nv
2K Followers 5K Following We solve challenges using our proprietary, creative development process. #3DAnimation #VisualSimulations #VirtualReality #AugmentedReality #WEB #VR #AR #XR #MR
VegasLifeToday @vegaslifetoday
27K Followers 27K Following Keeping our friends informed about everything that's happening in Las Vegas
C Trekkie @CLMomma
41 Followers 40 Following
charles duncan @duncanreporting
1K Followers 972 Following Recovering newspaper guy reporting on NC for Spectrum News 1. Past @mcclatchy @newsobserver @caycompass. Send tips and complaints to [email protected].
Sophia john @Sophiaj99224732
10 Followers 105 Following
Dona Maria Tamales @DonaMarias
1K Followers 2K Following Serving you the best tamales, margaritas & Mexican food in Las Vegas since 1980! #VegasBorn #VegasStrong
Matt Oswalt @MattOswaltVA
352K Followers 1K Following I'm a triple threat; writer, photographer, arsonist
Nancy Pelosi @SpeakerPelosi
8.1M Followers 471 Following Representative for CA-11, fighting for the people of San Francisco. 52nd Speaker of the House. Wife, mother, grandmother, dark chocolate connoisseur.
Elizabeth Warren @ewarren
5.8M Followers 560 Following U.S. Senator, former teacher. Wife, mom (Amelia, Alex, Bailey, @CFPB), grandmother, and Okie. She/her. Official campaign account.
Aziz Ansari @azizansari
9.5M Followers 0 Following Pasta lover. I don't tweet much. My new Netflix series Master of None is now streaming on Netflix. I wrote a book called Modern Romance.
reggie watts @reggiewatts
228K Followers 452 Following In the absence of truth there is confusion; the essence of truth!
Mike Rosenstein @MikeRosenstein
13K Followers 481 Following Producer of Have a Good Trip and The Eric Andre Show
Comedy Bang Bang @ComedyBangBang
137K Followers 1K Following Comedy Bang! Bang! is a podcast with episodes every Monday on @earwolf and a TV show from @IFC. Hosted by @scottaukerman
The Lonely Island @thelonelyisland
776K Followers 983 Following Andy Samberg, Akiva Schaffer, Jorma Taccone. Snapchat: tliboys
Mr. Bob Odenkirk @mrbobodenkirk
1.2M Followers 84 Following Mr. Show, Better Call Saul, Nobody, then there's this, my favoritest thing: ZILOT, a book of silly poems I writ with my kids. OCTOBER 10 in stores for all!!
Will Forte @OrvilleIV
199K Followers 1K Following
AmyPoehlerSmartGirls @smrtgrls
228K Followers 3K Following Founded by Amy Poehler and Meredith Walker (@meredeetch), APSG is dedicated to helping young people cultivate their authentic selves.
Oh Hello @ohhelloshow
18K Followers 185 Following Oh, Hello: the P'dcast is gonna top the charts immediately
John Mulaney @mulaney
1.4M Followers 1 Following “John Mulaney Presents: Everybody’s in LA” coming to @Netflix on May 3
Jim Gaffigan @JimGaffigan
3.0M Followers 3K Following Male Model. BARELY ALIVE TOUR all new material. My first wife is @jeanniegaffigan. https://t.co/39GfjGbHaW
Michael Ian Black @michaelianblack
1.8M Followers 821 Following This is the real, official account for 2x Super Bowl champ and 9 NFL vet Michael Ian Black. All others are fake. There are no others :(
Lady Gaga @ladygaga
83.3M Followers 112K Following JAZZ & PIANO 🎺🎼 JUNE 19 - JULY 6 | HAUS LABS 💄 @hauslabs | THE CHROMATICA BALL ⚔️💓 | JOKER: FOLIE À DEUX 🃏 OCTOBER 4
Tony Bennett @itstonybennett
170K Followers 113 Following The Full Tony Bennett Catalog: https://t.co/htTnjPinkl New album Love For Sale out now: https://t.co/lpprYXY7jS
Cheech Marin @CheechMarin
161K Followers 780 Following Half of the hilariously irreverent duo Cheech and Chong, Cheech is an actor, director, comedian, author, and Chicano art collector.
Tommy Chong @tommychong
578K Followers 2K Following Comedian, Actor, Writer, Director, Activist, Musician, Dancer and occasionally smokes a little bit of pot, man. #tommychongscannabis
Andy Richter @AndyRichter
1.0M Followers 2K Following @richtercommaandy on Instagram and Threads, Podcast: The Three Questions. And new Sirius XM Call-in show, link below for callers
marc maron @marcmaron
879K Followers 507 Following I am a comic, actor, feral cat wrangler, writer & host of WTF the podcast.
Eddie Izzard @eddieizzard
4.2M Followers 583 Following Performing William Shakespeare's Hamlet New York (Jan - Apr), Chicago (Apr - May) & London (May - Jun) 2024 Tickets at: https://t.co/U6EPmbmysu
David Juskow @DaveJuskow
2K Followers 411 Following I like fast cars and fast women. What the. . . Who wrote that? For more comic brilliance like this - subscribe to my Patreon Page. 😉
eddie pepitone @eddiepepitone
91K Followers 2K Following PATREON: https://t.co/dm05RJF6Af / APOCALYPSE SOON Podcast: https://t.co/S6IV0RCzYA / FOR THE MASSES Special: https://t.co/x7GkqTeRYn
Carlton Cuse @CarltonCuse
65K Followers 213 Following Creator, writer, showrunner, director. Projects include: LOCKE & KEY, JACK RYAN, LOST, BATES MOTEL and frequent hand washing. Instagram: carltoncuse
Andy Kindler @AndyKindler
135K Followers 7K Following A Comedium. Mort on #BobsBurgers Podcast: @thought_spiral with @JElvisWeinstein https://t.co/DLxHtjMc5n #FOT he/him
Joan Rivers @Joan_Rivers
1.6M Followers 448 Following
Greg Fitzsimmons @GregFitzShow
87K Followers 328 Following Fitzdog Radio, Childish and Sunday Papers podcasts every week!
Orny Adams @Ornyadams
439K Followers 262 Following Comedian. Stand up special “MORE THAN LOUD” on Youtube. Podcast “What’s Wrong with Orny Adams”. All links below.
Neil Patrick Harris @ActuallyNPH
24.4M Followers 167 Following Husband, father, random sayer of stuff. ALSO click the link below if you want to level up in Awesometown (or subscribe to exclusive content from yours truly).
Todd Glass @ToddGlass
130K Followers 1K Following The Principal from Ten Year Old Tom on HBO Max. Show dates on my website.👇🏻
Our animated ZOOLANDER SUPERMODEL is now available on @cbsallaccess !!! Starring Ben Stiller, Owen Wilson, Jerry Stiller, Christine Taylor, Nick Kroll, Patton Oswalt, Kim Kardashian, Katy Perry, Tim Gunn. Directed by Aaron Augenblick. Written by Colton + Aboud. #zoolander
I SURE DID, FUCKER. #TrumpLiedPeopleDied
.@kathygriffin advocates for someone to stab @realDonaldTrump with syringe full of air. Air embolisms, caused by air getting into the bloodstream, can be fatal. washex.am/2zy0NnF
Watch this guy make a 70-STEP TRICK SHOT with a Rube Goldberg machine he made in his backyard! peewee.com/2020/05/27/thi…
Let's taco'bout tacos #SaturdayFeeling #LasVegasEats
MILLENIAL LIFECYCLE 0-10: problematic cartoons 10: see 3,000 people die live TV 10-20: be told we will change the world 20: graduate into recession w/ historical debt 20-30: scratch & crawl for stability 30: pandemic 30-40: scratch & crawl for stability 40: climate, bye
Happy National Puppy Day! Please note that Dr. Armond is available for Zoom appointments only until further notice.
Now that I’m spending so much time cooking in a home kitchen (we are crashing at a friends house) I’m just gonna say it....white people kitchens are full of useless junk. Nothing is functional. Dull knives, spices from 1995, broken appliances....no wonder there is so much booze
Has any network other than Fox News ever lobbied so hard to kill off their main demographic?
Please do not take medical advice from a man who looked directly at a solar eclipse.
This quarantine is really fattening my curves, if ya know what I mean
I don’t have a lot of regrets in life but getting into stand up comedy is definitely one of them.
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