Aaron Hertzog @aaronhertzog
comedian. writer. friend. @friendshipbuds linktr.ee/aaronhertzog Los Angeles, CA Joined September 2008-
Tweets7K
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Followers2K
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Following1K
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https://t.co/pwcIhwoONU
why did people stop saying “gun to my head” and start saying “water gun to my head”? go ahead, put a water gun to my head, it’s not gonna force me to action. I am not afraid of wet. super soak me, I do not care.
https://t.co/CYWw2pHJFJ
My own personal last two minute report from last night's Sixers Knicks game: Three (3) "What the fuck!"'s Two (2) Text Messages reading "This is fucking nuts!" Two (2) "Are you fucking kidding me?"'s One (1) "What is going on?" One (1) "That's not good." One (1) Upset stomach
i cant even imagine the disaster this miscategorization has caused
For a guy whose favorite songs are all about not wasting your life I sure am a guy who’s wasting his life.
Look, I don’t want to get too “inside baseball” but…a little ball of cork surrounded by a bunch of black rubber and string.
Tomorrow night in Los Angeles, California, USA. @_andrewjohnston @_RobertSchultz @rayjay3k @TimothyPlatt
Bring back the "what if people from the '60s were in the '90s" trend in movies but with the '90s and today. Ok, goodbye.
This is the best joke in the history of television.
If you haven't created deadly gas at least once in your life I seriously doubt your dedication to the cleanliness of your home.
Nuts! My little toes also do not touch the ground and are essentially useless flaps and I always blamed that on my lack of athleticism.
Nuts! My little toes also do not touch the ground and are essentially useless flaps and I always blamed that on my lack of athleticism.
Michael Rainey @mikerainey82
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Blake Wexler 🫵 @BlakeWexler
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Chris Estrada - Texas.. @ChrisEstrada85
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J. D. Nelson @madverse
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DrewBrew @Drew_Brew24
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McKeever @JohnnyMcKeever
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Shane Gillis @Shanemgillis
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Megan Gailey @megangailey
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ellory smith @ellorysmith
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Laurie Kilmartin @anylaurie16
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Mike Abrusci @mikeabrusci
8K Followers 724 Following God’s Perfect Man™️. Listen to @ALittleTimePod. Sign up for my newsletter below ⬇️⬇️⬇️
Style tips, by Gnocch.. @jonnydelco
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John F Kensil @johnkensil
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Mikey Gleason ⇧ @mikeygleason
614 Followers 675 Following Writer/Director. NYU Alum. Native son of DE. 1/3 of the @LayoffKids. Sometimes I make TV shows & movies.
Stable Tim @TimothyPlatt
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Follow Through @followthrough
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playoff paint @nba_paint
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No Dunks @NoDunksInc
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The Citywide Special @citywide_pod
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Tee @Teemair
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tara mcgorry @terrormcgorry
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Stretch Four @StretchFourCast
8 Followers 4 Following Hoops. Hip-Hop. Culture. Life. From @keenanawillis and @aaronhertzog https://t.co/OteCruqdjl
90’s Hip Hop Raised.. @ilovehiphop_88
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MT. CARMEL AREA RED T.. @GOBIGRED19
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transgender roman roy @endsbetter
1K Followers 998 Following you know I don't know what ensconced means
shirts that go hard @shirtsthtgohard
1.4M Followers 610 Following 20% off your first purchase, use code 'FIRST'! DM for credit! I tag original creators whenever possible. Designs I sell are my own. We’re @/goodshirts on IG!
Ngl Knicks fans, if a paralyzed man wearing sketchers dropped 50 on me.. I’d cry too
Hey, folks! I just got added to the @NetflixIsAJoke festival in Los Angeles! I'll be playing some truly horrible video games with some truly amazing guests. Seriously, check out below. And that's just the lineup so far. 2:00 pm, Sat, May 4th and Sun, May 5th at The Egyptian.
Just asked Nic Batum about his game-clinching block of Tyler Herro in the final seconds of the game. He told me that just a minute earlier, assistant coaches showed him the exact play Miami ended up running for Herro, and he was prepared for it. Pretty impressive.
Batum blocks Tyler Herro's three and Oubre grabs the rebound. Maxey is going to the line with a chance to make it a two-score game. THE NIC BATUM GAME.
did y’all know that @netw3rk and i wrote a movie together called MIGUEL WANTS TO FIGHT it came out during the strike so we didn’t do any press or anything for it it’s on HULU literally right now do you wanna write another movie together @netw3rk Y or N
@netw3rk @SheaSerrano is watched Miguel Wants to Fight last night and it’s wonderful! So charming and very much the humor and heart I’d expect from you too, definitely hope y’all keep teaming up to put stuff to on the screen
in honor of the new vampire weekend album
I can’t survive this many people thinking this is brilliant. It’s making me smaller every time like Pennywise
whoever came up with this shot needs a raise
Say what you will about OJ but nobody interrupted Game 5 of the 1994 NBA Finals quite like him
Thank you for service *reads name again* Seymour Weiner
Everyday this site presents me with someone I’ve never heard of who has 300 thousand followers who I then block.
Having a debate rn with my wife if anyone would like to chime in here. She got tix to an event that I wouldn't want to go to. I was saying okay, I'll take you. She is saying she is taking me because she paid. If the taking part is the credit who gets it in this situation?
People keep wondering if there's going to be a 4th film in the Before series. I guess everyone forgot there is one where Julie Delpy's character died and Ethan Hawke turned to a life of crime
@aaronhertzog Aaron FYI This is from a show called the Sopranos
Love the NFL Combine! How big is that boy? How fast is that lad? Which kid can shuffle best??
4/4
You should have 4 hot sauces in your fridge Cholula or Valentina A southern surely hot sauce An Asian style hot sauce And one X factor AND YES In your fridge, you do not go through hot sauce as fast as a restaurant
I GOT A NEW WEEKLY🏀 POD I'm hosting w/ NBA legend @JohnWall premiering TODAY: youtube.com/watch?v=x4PuiB… Excited to talk the league w/ John and get insight from someone who was just in it. Also, ours is different because instead of a white sidekick, I'm Filipino 😎 Check it out!
Influential figures born on this day
Imagine auditioning for a kid role in the ‘90s and this mfer walks in the room. I’d leave. Why waste my time waiting around to be told they gave it to Korsmo? It’s a wrap.
Unpopular opinion: the best thing young people can do early in their careers is to break their arm and in a freak stroke of luck upon recovery find they are able pitch a baseball so hard they end up starting for the Chicago Cubs
What if we kissed in the Honey Bucket?
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