Profanisaurus @VProfanisaurus
Tweeting profane words and expressions from the Profanisaurus. UNOFFICIAL. PARODY. The Bigg Market Joined January 2013-
Tweets2K
-
Followers21K
-
Following11K
-
Likes828
Vin Diesel: 1. n. prop. Gravel-voiced, bald actor who always wears sunglasses. 2. n. Happy Shopper wine costing less than £2, and which leaves one gravel-voiced, bald and wearing sunglasses. Screwtop.
tea strainer: n. A bowel movement that is forcibly withheld during teabreak so that one can have a tom tit and get paid for the pleasure. Time and a turd, taking one on the company's time.
M & S turd: euph. A shite which is worthy of special attention due to its exceptional quality. “This is not just a turd, this is a five-day matured, chicken vindaloo with garlic naan and eight bottles of Cobra turd.”
R Kelly weather: n. A chill in the air during the summer. When the temperature is "dipping into the teens". From the singer's alleged, though we must stress completely unproven, penchant for cooling meteorological conditions.
nangerine: adj. The characteristic orange skin tone of biddies who over-winter in Tenerife.
drop shot: n. An expertly executed hockle, neatly nutmegged between the thighs, the rim of the shit-pan and the Autotrader while sat on the shitter.
mid-loaf crisis: n. Anything that spoils the enjoyment of a good tom tit, eg. A doorbell or telephone ringing, a dawning realisation that there is no bumwad, or a policeman approaching the shop doorway.
virgin poo: n. The first turd laid at work after the cleaning lady has scrubbed the rim.
gentle giant: n. A shit so big that it brings tears to your eyes, but which gently kisses you on the cheek just before it leaves. A French lodger.
greggings: n. The seemingly standard lower-body attire of ladies about town who have, one might infer, a penchant for pies.
coke zero: n. Bacon powder that contains little or no genuine sniff.
owner operator: n. A lorry driver who sheds his load wherever the fancy takes him.
meat and two veg: n. A gentleman's undercarriage. A pork sausage and a couple of love spuds.
plasterer's radio: sim. Descriptive of a lucky lady who is heavily adorned with jelly jewellery. Frequently found on Japanese and American cyber-scud.
chin: v. To successfully belabour in a bout of fisticuffs. 'I could fucking chin him, easy.'
fubes: n. 13 amp, usually ginger, pubes. Contraction of fusewire + pubes.
Greggs tie: n. The vertical pasty-flake mess that adorns the front of your shirt, jumper or vest following the swift and careless consumption of a prolish comestible.
tea chicken: n. Game played by severely hungover flatmates, whereby they all sit immobile waiting for the first one to bottle it and offer to put the kettle on.
bum lungs: n. Additional, apparently rectally situated, breathing apparatus which allows members of the fairer sex to speak for extended periods of time without pausing for breath.
Andy Dawson @profanityswan
51K Followers 2K Following Participant in @AthleticoMince @TFTimeMachine and @unseriousdarts. My life is well within its usual frame.
barney farmer @barneyfarmer
24K Followers 13K Following Yūgen appreciation society. Writes Drunken bakers etc for Viz. Wrote this https://t.co/EkFvmRP7kD this https://t.co/wh1hmG5V8R and that https://t.co/K4H7zE1TgG so…
𝗧𝘄𝗼𝗽 𝗧... @TwopTwips
144K Followers 3K Following Please listen to my awful music by following ‘The Rocket House’ on yer usual music platforms.
Rich Oliver @bigpapablu
6K Followers 2K Following INSTA: richoliver4738 being hilarious from Cambodia and SE Asia on Insta. Giz a follow if you fancy Instagram richoliver4738. I make myself laugh. Up to you
Visit Wakefield™ @Visit_Wakefield
7K Followers 1K Following Welcome to Wakefield: We're a city not a town! Not official tourist info. @ben_doughnut @Moosical_Yoof. We're on the Blue place now-Would recommend joining us.
WallsendMag @pubester
3K Followers 2K Following NUFC, Vespa, Belgian beer(s). Once shouted "How man! McManaman, man!" at Steve McManaman, man!
Sir Graham Lister @Graham_Lister
3K Followers 3K Following I have held high office: the highest in the land. I know doctors, dentists, and architects. I speak from a position of moral and political authority here Reeves
whodeani @whodeani
148 Followers 216 Following Playing hard to want... Musician/Producer/Songwriter, Voiceover Artist... future app developer.
Abigail Kemp @Abbywkemp
834 Followers 1K Following Production editor @PA. Author of 60 Years Of Coronation Street & Street Of Lies interactive novel. Co-author 60 Years Of University Challenge. Ex-MEN. Own views
ConcreteCowboy @iconcretecowboy
26K Followers 1K Following Dad-type rough around the edges. The Dad you didn't have but always wanted. Call me Dad or Sir to show respect.
Anthony’s Bar & Gri... @AnthonyGri10669
2K Followers 5K Following I was the whining stranger, a fool in love with time to kill.
The Flying Teapot @33bruscar
66 Followers 143 Following
KRCEcological 🇺�... @EcologicalKrc
832 Followers 1K Following Comp Dir. Mostly conserv-focussed sci projects in Ire on threat’d sp/hab esp marine. Ongoing div projects on Otters, bogs (WAN), inverts, migrant birds etc
RichardLeslie 👨... @richard_leslie1
165 Followers 131 Following Dad,serial linguist, Fremdsprachenlehrer-Prof de langues vivantes views my own #DigiLearnScot🏴
Paulofrutini @PaulTopham
82 Followers 279 Following The other Saracens fan, England, sometimes Cricket. Full time Liger wrangler and Daily Doggo Adventurer. My views are mine and mine alone.
Matthew Murphy @matthewjmurphy
77 Followers 1K Following
Mark Johnson @MarkMelon
899 Followers 3K Following 33% of The Twisted Melons, Musician, Peacenik, Renaissance Man, Kintyreman.
Simon Costello @CostelloSimon
62 Followers 843 Following All your choices in life have led you to read this bio,Hi🤙
ACope @ACope14961474
1 Followers 160 Following
Simon Anstey @simonanstey
18 Followers 72 Following
Karl-Heinz Rubberknic... @ovy27
37 Followers 289 Following Opinions. They're like you. Nobody likes them. Yes, you!
ExRay-Tango, Ex-Ray A... @tomsredfiesta
202 Followers 640 Following Another Police Escapee hoping to do well at driving trains. Rugby and Netball fan.
James Flack @jimflack
83 Followers 437 Following
Keith Fenwick @keithfenwick69
126 Followers 359 Following Technical Director at GJD Manufacturing Ltd, MG car enthusiast, F1, WEC and BTCC. Very amateur photographer 📸
Darran Lightbody @DarranLightbody
306 Followers 777 Following
Jubjub @Jubjub032
0 Followers 4 Following
Mark Sadiq @MarkSadiq2
0 Followers 2 Following
Jim TIB @jimmy_tib
361 Followers 1K Following We haven't got long, so enjoy your little corner of the world while you can.
Jack Union @JackUnion1707
42 Followers 886 Following
Barry @deerdance555
20 Followers 254 Following
Andy Pring @Pringmeister
11 Followers 100 Following
Wyrd Warrior @wyrdwarrior111
2K Followers 2K Following Peaty patriot. Health, astrology, antiquity & esoteric enjoyer. Gardener. Restore Britain!
David Gallagher @dg_bandol
159 Followers 571 Following Chief Exec @ Gallagher Pharmacy. Practising lawyer. formerly Co-Founder @TCBioPharm. Board Member @KillieTrust Views my own.
Billy B @Billb123456
6 Followers 16 Following
The Ram @TheRamRCC
106 Followers 153 Following New bar opening soon. Stay tuned for further updates.....
Matt Brown 🇪🇺 �... @DJNIPS
125 Followers 368 Following
Craig Nimbley @Nimblecraig
24 Followers 331 Following If I could find my mind now, I guess I’ll just leave.
KKKate Fieldhouse @KkkateF
0 Followers 6 Following
Vaughan Lewis @VaughanLewis1
2K Followers 1K Following 20+ years in betting. Retirement home for slow racehorses and greyhounds. Views on gambling policy (on substack), racing and melon. Free tips worth every penny
Stuart Brown @Stujbro85
0 Followers 22 Following
Tim Williams @timwilliams168
18 Followers 180 Following
T Vogel @tvogel400
94 Followers 1K Following
Don @systemcrash99
6 Followers 637 Following
Alberto Kuranga ⚔�... @StanceNice27053
2 Followers 71 Following Proud curator of the 73rd largest collection of ring binders in the South Yorkshire area. No folders, I'm not a deviant.
Viz Comic @vizcomic
294K Followers 2K Following We're calling it a day here. We've gone to https://t.co/FxBTAXFxSq if you fancy it.
Balderdash @notDcfcBoss
36K Followers 752 Following I placed my onions on the floor, under the window by the door, the layers of nuance caught their eyes, the day I won The Turner Prize.
Andy Dawson @profanityswan
51K Followers 2K Following Participant in @AthleticoMince @TFTimeMachine and @unseriousdarts. My life is well within its usual frame.
barney farmer @barneyfarmer
24K Followers 13K Following Yūgen appreciation society. Writes Drunken bakers etc for Viz. Wrote this https://t.co/EkFvmRP7kD this https://t.co/wh1hmG5V8R and that https://t.co/K4H7zE1TgG so…
𝗧𝘄𝗼𝗽 𝗧... @TwopTwips
144K Followers 3K Following Please listen to my awful music by following ‘The Rocket House’ on yer usual music platforms.
Rich Oliver @bigpapablu
6K Followers 2K Following INSTA: richoliver4738 being hilarious from Cambodia and SE Asia on Insta. Giz a follow if you fancy Instagram richoliver4738. I make myself laugh. Up to you
Davey Jones @DHBJones
9K Followers 775 Following Viz cartoonist. There is no such thing as too many cups of tea.
Kent Tayler @taylertoons
6K Followers 7K Following Cartoonist, family man and nerd. Seen in @PrivateEyeNews @vizcomic and many more. Signed prints at the link below 👇🏻
WallsendMag @pubester
3K Followers 2K Following NUFC, Vespa, Belgian beer(s). Once shouted "How man! McManaman, man!" at Steve McManaman, man!
Adam @adamf2384
1K Followers 290 Following
Sir Graham Lister @Graham_Lister
3K Followers 3K Following I have held high office: the highest in the land. I know doctors, dentists, and architects. I speak from a position of moral and political authority here Reeves
Mattso @M4ttso
2K Followers 301 Following Two interesting facts about me. 1) My knob is the same length as two Argos pens 2)I'm banned from Argos.
𝗗𝗝 𝗦𝘂𝘁... @DJSutcliffe
263 Followers 1K Following Views are my own, Don’t like them? Leave! 🚨No Liability accepted🚨 I do NOT support the UK PM’s views! Him and his whole party can fuck right off!
Paul Blades @pkb252
24 Followers 551 Following Marine Superintendent for EMC. Husband, Father & proud @durhamcricket @Boro supporter. (A cheeky @SpursOfficial follower too).
Dalton Chenko @DaltonChenko
192 Followers 706 Following
Tyrone White @TbonetyWhite
83 Followers 205 Following
Dj Foulkes-Williams @general_fw
243 Followers 602 Following Wife, Son, Family, Friends, Music, Food, Forest these are my main interests!!
Barry Skelton @baza40
55 Followers 475 Following
Gwillo 🇪🇺 @Gwillothecat
289 Followers 634 Following Barbecue ninja and beer guru. Spursy. #legacyfan. https://t.co/4pd0ig9h8S
Andy Walker @andywacka
122 Followers 212 Following Renewables Surveyor, Daddy to an ever-growing son
Rich Brown @rbr1979
462 Followers 1K Following cyclist ׀ boarder ׀ triathlete ׀ musician ׀ damned good cook
RST Ruffy D @Ruffdawg
161 Followers 295 Following Supreme Overlord of @resetaberdeen Your friendly neighbourhood fighting game community.
Rob Williams @robwill11
850 Followers 47 Following
Richard Thomas @thomasrs1981
394 Followers 1K Following
mondoking85 @mondoking85
28 Followers 923 Following
Alex @Alex_Mac83
253 Followers 326 Following Are you of legal drinking age? On minimum wage? Well, welcome in
FPL Chris Bell @csbell80
1K Followers 3K Following The official account of a guy that loves SOUTHAMPTON FC ⭐🔴⚪😇🔴⚪⭐ #saintsfc #Fantasypremierleague #fantasybundesliga
admwilk @admwilk
9 Followers 124 Following
Rob Walsh @rhpw
246 Followers 990 Following Can it you nit! (Beauregard, 1971). Sociology, cycling, football, food. #UTI #IFS
Markus Eichhorn @markus_eichhorn
5K Followers 3K Following Don't follow me here! Find me on BlueSky. I am still the same forest ecologist @UCC & author of Natural Systems textbook. This account is inactive.
Lard Buttie @BasilBrook
122 Followers 472 Following As stupid as I look. Loves Disco, Funk, Soul and House. HTAFC fan so used to the occasional highs and frequent lows of life. See no, Hear no, Speak no.
Thomas Mark @iambangaverage
50 Followers 1K Following
communishy @JacquesisHungry
586 Followers 4K Following For the earth to live, capitalism must die. Freedom for all oppressed peoples. Free Palestine! Studying PPE @openuniversity. he/they.
Alex @Alexs1mmo
72 Followers 353 Following
Alex the Guiri @AlexTheGuiri
1K Followers 4K Following I get out of bed at half past ten, phone up a friend who’s a party animal…
Lord Steerforth @Lord_Steerforth
1K Followers 1K Following Failed prototype. I am scheduled to be decommissioned in the near future.










































