Missy Martinez @MissyXMartinez
Internet Manatee. I write articles with my flippers. Hell-A Joined December 2010-
Tweets120K
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If you played this game growing up, it’s time to use a stronger exfoliant
It’s Friday which means it’s time to share your WINS OF THE WEEK! Did you finally take those clothes to Goodwill? Did you get a big raise at work? Did you make it ‘official’ with the person you’ve been seeing? Share your wins of the week—BIG OR SMALL!
Every bank can be a sperm bank if you’re brave enough
Miss Moo just got a shot at the vet and then she curb stomped me
Getting kicked out of the aquarium for staring at the octopus tentacles a little too long
Medically accurate image of fallopian tubes
If you owned these, it’s time to lotion your hands before bed
Each day, the Skarsgard family divide themselves into a new one. There are 35 iterations of them now
Asking my sleep paralysis demon if he’s mad at me
Let’s fucking goooo!!!
You just *know* Bellsprout is an absolute freak with that mouth
My new @HustlerMag article is up! I had the honor of interviewing @RealAnaAndrews @HottSummerRayne @Lila_lovelyxxx @kendra_kox about their BBLS! Give it a read and get ready to appreciate their enhanced rear ends! hustlermagazine.com/articles/bbl-b…
Rare sighting of a manatee out of water
Me when my Uber cancels
Me when my Uber cancels
Women saying they’re having a ‘girls night’ is code for us all sitting around and farting in shoeboxes
while you were studying the blade i was studying the blade. we went to blade school together
Ancestry can *technically* be a dating site if you’re lonely enough
It’s Friday and that means it’s time to share your WINS OF THE WEEK! Did you not need an extension to file your taxes? Did you stand up for yourself even though it was hard? Did you talk your way out of a speeding ticket? Share your wins of the week—BIG OR SMALL!
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Fernando Yapuchura @Fher900426
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Dana Vespoli @danavespoli
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1K Followers 639 Following 18+ NSFW- New Account! model & actress, content creator, ENM, petrol head, exhibitionist, switchy, cat and dog mom, TTS, Professional bookings for LV&LA, $5 OF
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13K Followers 53 Following (Former) Team principal for @HaasF1Team. Will not tolerate door smashing of any kind. Main role in Netflix’ “Drive to Survive”.
DeMarco Morgan @DeMarcoReports
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Victoria Beckham @victoriabeckham
11.4M Followers 56 Following The official Twitter page for Victoria Beckham
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1.0M Followers 168K Following GREATEST OF ALL TIME TEEN MOM • AUTHENTIC 🗽 COMEDY TOUR SOON🎤 FOR HUMANITY @nytimes Best Selling Author🌟Mental Health Advocate #SAFE , J.D LAW. O.G
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2000s @PopCulture2000s
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The R @MrAnalizeHer
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Neets McKean @NeetsMcKean
19K Followers 19K Following Voice Over Creative, Writer. X Sister of Neets McKream and DarkNeets. Campaigned for Obama, Clinton and Kerry. No DM’s 🌊
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18K Followers 4K Following Professional stay at home wife, amateur pornstar, and occasional Hotwife enthusiast. Swinger LS babe, and I like plants. 🌿
Mistress Lenora 💋 .. @PantherInPearls
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20K Followers 400 Following 🐈⬛ Your Ready-To-Pop Preggo Kitten 🪩 All bellies are fake ⭐️ Custom Videos 🎬 Pregnancy/Inflation/Expansion/Blueberry/Vore and More!
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35K Followers 4K Following Been Making Bongs From Vintage Vases Since 2020✨ Everything Available On My Website & Follow Along On Instagram: https://t.co/EgabDSKM3W
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Alexa in Philly @alexaeasonxo
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dude at the bar just asked me what i thought about this year’s draft class and i said buddy i’m wearing a britney spears shirt and i just ordered six green tea shots i have no thoughts on the subject
@Modelo_Tyme Shout outs to @MissyXMartinez for accompanying me
My todo fit for evo
hbd to the person on here who i called my sister. i miss u more than u know & wish we spent more time getting hotpot & standing in the rain lol. hope u r watching down on all of us & really wish we had more pics together lol. all the love @sayasongx ❤️ u wouldve been 38 today imy
I did the same thing with a drifter once. Can I be VP?
South Dakota Gov. Kristi Noem appears to have confirmed that she killed a family puppy that infuriated her by being “untrainable,” and she claims it only proves how “politically incorrect” she is. trib.al/wOcWZBs
frasier looking at megaton
don’t care + didn’t ask + uncrushable pigeon
@MissyXMartinez @HustlerMag if you ever branch out to other industries, i was caught doing software engineering in a public coffee shop. no one got in trouble though
Update, I am going to reveal the one from the comments soon but I also made this one: PRACTICE CHICKENS It's too big but that's okay. It was practice.
Baby made the LA TIMES!! Come see my show in LOS ANGELES May 2nd @TheComedyStore
@MissyXMartinez @YuckyTom came here to say hot rod. i tell all the ladies "cool beans"
@MissyXMartinez .. we hear great things about anti-bacterial sprays
@MissyXMartinez @OKWildlifeDept Ma’am. TEETH. 😳😬 Yeouch.
Bram Stoker sounds like the coolest fucking surfer I’ve ever heard of
@MissyXMartinez Thaaaanks I love it! They’re my favorite favorite animal so it makes me happy🥰
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