Fozzie Bear @FozzieBear
Here I am, Fozzie Bear, to tell you jokes both old and rare! Disney.com/TheMuppets Hollywood, CA Joined May 2015-
Tweets2K
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Following105
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I'm having trouble deciding what to wear for #StPatricksDay this weekend. You might say I'm stuck between a shamrock and a hard place! Ahhhh! Hopefully I'm lucky with laughs today. #WockaWocka!
What do you get when you cross a rubber chicken with a leprechaun? A clucky fella! Ahhhh! This one will make you laugh clover and clover again.
Wanna hear a joke I can only tell today? Here goes: What'd the tuba player say to his friend who asked him to go to dinner? "I'd love to, but I have to March 1st." Ahhhh! #WockaWocka!
I know most people think taking a nice Sunday drive is relaxing, but when I get home I'm exhausted! Ahhhhh! Get it? I think that joke is steer-ific! #WockaWocka!
Did you know #ValentinesDay is on Wednesday? If you didn't, you should probably get a date book... and a date! Ahhhh! Oh, I need a date too... better make it a double! #WockaWocka!
My friend Chuckie thinks our ventriloquism act is too smart, but I disagree. Guess it's 'cause I'm no dummy... and he is! Ahhhh! His performance is a little wooden, too. #WockaWocka!
I think bananas are definitely the funniest fruit. There's just something a-PEEL-ing about them, don't you think? Ahhhh! Hope you SPLIT your sides laughing at this! #WockaWocka! 🍌🍌🍌
How lucky am I to be surrounded by friends who love to make people laugh as much as I do? There's nothing better than our hi-larious hi-jinks!
What do you get when you cross a bear with a pine tree? A furry fir! Ahhhh! This joke is pretty evergreen, don't you think? #WockaWocka!
Why are hat jokes funnier when you make them up on the spot? Because they're off the dome! Ahhhhh! What better way to CAP off this gag than with a #WockaWocka?
Did you hear about the newspaper that ran a whole edition about thin paper sheets? Yeah, it was a Tissue Issue! Ahhhhh! This joke is nothing to sneeze at. #WockaWocka!
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You know him from @TheMuppets as the un-bear-ably funny jokester. Watch what happens when Fozzie Bear meets his comedic match in the form of one of @Disneyland’s most comical cast members: the Jungle Cruise skipper! bit.ly/2Xk6wct
@KermitTheFrog @Rizzo @MissPiggy @DisneyD23 @IAMKEVBISH @FozzieBear I heard he made it big by inventing the thumb drive… Or maybe THAT was Blind Pew. Either way, one of them is doing choreography in Vegas… or maybe it was Reno? #D23MuppetMayhem
@Rizzo @GonzotheGreat @MissPiggy @DisneyD23 @IAMKEVBISH No, @FozzieBear doesn't really have a man living in his finger. Mr. Bimbo moved out after we finished making the movie. Fozzie likes to say he lives in the Fingerlakes now, but I'm not sure what Mr. Bimbo is up to now. #D23MuppetMayhem
Leave comedy to the bears. Especially @FozzieBear from @TheMuppets!
They say never meet your heroes; they are wrong.
Can't say this is a dream come true because I was never foolish enough to think something like this could ever happen. When part of me doubts I deserve such an honor, I remind myself that someone got a "Star" for just one crappy reality show. #BeyondGr8ful 🙏 x.com/variety/status…
Exclusive: Mark @HamillHimself will receive a star on the Hollywood Walk of Fame on March 8 bit.ly/2CySAuT | Via @wofstargirl
@FozzieBear It depends on where the rip is, @FozzieBear.
UH HI HOW DO I GET TICKETS??? Do you have a blocka blocka set aside? x.com/fozziebear/sta…
@FozzieBear @BlomquistRich you're the best, Fozzie!
@FozzieBear I made a couple calls for you. ;) I mean YOU'RE A LEGEND YOU SHOULD BE VERIFIED. Also I knew you'd be amazing on our show! :D
@FozzieBear IS COMING ON @midnight. I love you so much, Fozzie!!! #WockaWockaWocka #KermitFlail x.com/fozziebear/sta…
We couldn't bear Twitter without you any longer, @fozziejokes! Welcome to the party!
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