Dad School @DadSchool

Aspiring author, home dad, ex-accountant, autistic, and 'disgusting ape', according to my wife. Joined August 2018

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Dad School @DadSchool

7 years ago

@threetimedaddy Also, happy birthday.

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Dad School @DadSchool

7 years ago

@threetimedaddy x.com/DadSchool/stat…

Dad School @DadSchool

7 years ago

Me at 21: I'll never be boring! Me at 31: - Owns a kneeling pad for gardening - Enjoys conversations about flooring - Regularly uses the word 'almanac'

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Dad School @DadSchool

7 years ago

Just so you know, the little one said he has a baby in his tummy, and the baby is a spider.

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Dad School @DadSchool

7 years ago

When you go on holiday and forget to use up the bread...

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Dad School @DadSchool

7 years ago

Working in #retail is just apologising to customers for problems they create until you clock out.

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Dad School @DadSchool

7 years ago

@RDawnHutchinson I know what it's like! Just tell yourself you started in the middle.

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Dad School @DadSchool

7 years ago

This rat does not know when to stop!

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Dad School @DadSchool

7 years ago

I dream in silence on a lazy sea Of perfect glass, a never ending pane. I can't but trace your well-formed memory; In breathless whisper I betray your name. #amwriting #poetry

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Dad School @DadSchool

7 years ago

When you're scrolling through someone's tl and accidentally like a tweet from several years ago... #overkeen

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Dad School @DadSchool

7 years ago

@Pickinguptoys I was called Giggles, but only because I spent a school year on and off of strong pain medication and it sent me a bit loopy.

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Dad School @DadSchool

7 years ago

An actual quotation from my 3yo: "Hooray, salad then reading!" This is it, I've cracked #parenting, right?

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@icescream43 I had a bad convo at work today - an old man (80ish? told me he was doing the shopping cos his wife is ill and in and out of hospital, "but that should all end soon." I didn't have the courage to ask if he meant that as good news or bad news. #RetailLife #Retail

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Dad School @DadSchool

7 years ago

Found out in a 45-second convo with a stranger that: She needs to diet She hates her mother Its OK, her mother won't be alive much longer Her teenage son is vile Her teenage son got someone pregnant #Retail workers are not your friends, stop talking to me about these things!

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Dad School @DadSchool

7 years ago

@icescream43 Thank you! All customers need to be like you.

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Dad School @DadSchool

7 years ago

Technically true for any month but OK.

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Dad School @DadSchool

7 years ago

@EmmaDixon_EU @BootstrapCook I've always treated veggie roasts as an excuse to have every side - stuffing, Yorkshires, bread/apple sauce, honey roast carrots...

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Dad School @DadSchool

7 years ago

KILL IT WITH FIRE

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Dad School @DadSchool

7 years ago

He held the cup out; she ignored it. At length, he put it down. "Where are your friends?" she asked. "Gone," he replied. He could sense more questions lined up behind her lips, ones he'd rather not answer, so cut in. "Well, if we're stuck here, what's your story?" #writeaskew

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Dad School @DadSchool

7 years ago

@thelaceylondon "Don't worry, it won't attack unprovo..."

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Dad School @DadSchool

7 years ago

@Hopcatchy @erbearmoynihan I've just woken up from literature yoghurt - each yoghurt is a story, and as you eat it you get a whole book of narration, emotion, action etc. instantly downloaded into your head as a flavour. I dreamt I was in a yoghurt library illicitly and was eat-reading one.