Tim Hawkins @timhawkinscomic
Spring Tour on sale now! New podcast episodes out every Monday! linktr.ee/timhawkins St. Louis, MO Joined May 2009-
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I think we can all agree they owe him royalties
New podcast episode is out! Join us as we realize our authentic selves are probably wrong and need help! timhawkins.net/#podcast
Peoria & Harrisburg! Get tickets now before they're gone! timhawkins.net
Join us as we discuss getting stoned & much more on this week's podcast episode! timhawkins.net/#podcast
It's important to ask questions
Anyone else raised Baptist? 🙋♂️
New podcast episode is up featuring our thoughts on the Super Bowl, Garth Brooks, John Mayer & more! timhawkins.net/#podcast
More sold out shows! If you're thinking about coming to one of these other dates, get tickets now! timhawkins.net
Somehow this song from over a decade ago still holds up... Listen to the full thing on Spotify or Apple Music! lnk.to/thegovernmentc…
St. Louis! Tickets just went live for my show on April 11. Tickets: etix.com/ticket/p/53215… Thrive VIP Experience Passes: etix.com/ticket/p/59686…
Time to go get a new friend...
More sold out shows 🎉 Get your tickets now! timhawkins.net
My eyeball is loose! Our new podcast episode is OUT NOW! timhawkins.net/#podcast
God Bless You Chick-Fil-A 🥲
It's good for ventilation! Check out the latest episode of our podcast & and catch up on previous episodes here: timhawkins.net/#podcast
Just added shows in Peoria, IL & Cedar Rapids, IA! Get tickets now because this tour is selling out! timhawkins.net
Let's talk about rumble strips...
More sold out shows & a few others that are close! Get tickets now & I'll see ya soon: timhawkins.net
Watch out for the silent ones...
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Steven Crowder is a monster - change my mind.
During the first and only debate between Pennsylvania Senate candidates Democrat John Fetterman and Republican Mehmet Oz, the pair shared fiery exchanges on abortion rights, the economy and character. @costareports breaks down why it was "reflective of the state of politics."
Don’t wait you get your @timhawkinscomic Live In Concert tickets! 🎟 - awakeningevents.com
Secured @timhawkinscomic tickets for my birthday weekend in May #LetsGoooooo
Trying to be funny on the internet
So @Mary_Schrank made this tribute video to one of my newer bits, and it made me laugh. And of course, she has way more instagram followers than I do. Oh well. Thanks, Mary!
I'm only half serious. I did end up owning all of their albums but 16-year-old me had a Discman that could read CD-Rs and that was that. x.com/ichikakihara/s…
My God. Watch this.
"I was in agony. Naked. So ugly. I wish that picture wasn’t taken." Phan Thị Kim Phúc’s life changed forever when she became known as “the napalm girl” in a Pulitzer Prize-winning photograph. She offers her Brief But Spectacular take on forgiveness and that girl in the picture.
BREAKING: the judge in the #ProtectJamesYounger case has ruled that the father will have a say over medical decisions, including the "transition" of his son. This is the best outcome we could hope for in a horrible situation all around. I think our outcry made a real difference.
“I’ll be home for Christmas 🎶” Great “You can count on me..🎶” Cool because I... “.....if only in my dreams🎶” Wait a minute. You said we could COULD COUNT ON YOU. Are you coming home or not??
One of my favorites from @timhawkinscomic.
Okay...maybe this is why I'm on the naughty list. #12TimsOfChristmas
You did the right thing
Went to a potential lover’s house last night for the first time. He had a DVD collection. It was extensive. I scanned it for a good 5 minutes. He didn’t have Joe Dirt. I immediately gathered my shit, walked out, deleted his number and never looked back. @DavidSpade
@ronnie_gale The goat @timhawkinscomic has this one covered! youtu.be/aHGbKuZzq3E
@timhawkinscomic LOVE everything you do! Merry Christmas to you and your family :)
Anyone else feel this way when they are in line for @ChickfilA? 🎶🐮 @timhawkinscomic
.@UKFootball's kicker's name is Chance Poore. That is the most unfortunate name for a kicker since Chris Blewitt. #GoVols
Our home schooler dressed up as a home schooler tonight for Halloween. @timhawkinscomic should be proud of him for reppin
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