Totally Not a Witch @reducedbryce
This is just a dumpster fire that is occasionally fed with the coal of afterthoughts. Pasadena Joined July 2011-
Tweets1K
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Followers49
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Following59
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Likes538
@TMobileHelp Why can’t I buy a new phone from Apple for my partner on our T-Mobile account? All phones are owned/paid, no overdue balance, and I’ve been a customer for 8+ years. All devices are available for upgrade. Apple Store tells me to contact carrier for “denying upgrade”
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It shouldn’t have taken me this long to realize Hipsters are practically modern Flappers of the 21st century.
@Malcontent79 fr, that kid had like 3!
The first person to discover butter must have been like, “Oh crap I just ruined the families milk!” and then probably pretended they made it on purpose when someone tried it on their pancakes.
Guys, working out is a scam. Your laundry like doubles and you live longer, effectively tripling your laundry.
Totally Not a Witch retweeted
The state needs to introduce a buyback program for Keurig machines similar to the assault rifle buyback.
I want to be able to look at life’s challenges the way my cat looks at me when I clean up his vomit. Confidently indifferent while lounging comfortably in the corner.
My name isn’t, and never was, John Jacob Jingleheimer Schmidt. I only said it was because that’s what the cool kids at camp were doing too.
Crazy that you can’t spell “cancel culture” without “uncut cell care”
Ever feel like you’d love to have a podcast but you don’t have a good mic or anything to say?
Totally Not a Witch retweeted
Let me put it on Twitter too cause this needs the attention
@RepMTG @RepMarieNewman Fixed it
I’m not sure why it took until the middle of March for me to realize I don’t appreciate being judged by some old, chubby white dude trying to outshine Jesus on his birthday.
@Mickey_Cloudz I don’t know what this means but I feel both honored and offended
@Mickey_Cloudz My understanding is they aren’t fking anyone. Was I mistaken?
@SquareEnix @tombraider I just realized it’s a play on words! #SquareEnixPresents
I finally got a hair cut after all of this quarantine and was able to donate it to Locks of Its-the-Thought-That-Counts
@ApolloNano nano_11m6iay8hrrymn5qei8ykydwryqmehjd7bom6mbh88cqngnrcuq6ui5bboih
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MERCY📊 @Mercy_btc_trade
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eebahn @eebahn
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dcuatt @dcuatt
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PhantasMal @Malcontent79
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bonnie burke @bonnierabbit148
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chris davy @thetoffa
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Alex Guerra @LotsOfData
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Toast_Sapper (he/him) @Toast_Sapper
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Chris Oliver @ChrisWoodOliver
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Evening Worship @PPC @EveningWorship
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Eddie Daniels @EddieCoinsJr
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Comedian Sally Mullin... @SallyMullins1
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Yin Comedy @YinComedy
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Carol Saulsbury @CaSauls
252 Followers 1K Following I read, therefore I am. Urban Native with relentless curiosity and wide-ranging love of music.
aaaarrrrgggghhhh @CaptainObtuse
2K Followers 2K Following Your uncle molests collies. This is my other account.
🪷Bobbie Oliver Ama... @thebobbieoliver
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MK @petsandkids91
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PPC @PasadenaPres
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Cody Johnston @drmistercody
255K Followers 4K Following Retweets are endorphins. Host/creator of @SomeMoreNews and one half of @TheHotShapes.
Toast_Sapper (he/him) @Toast_Sapper
2K Followers 5K Following Just a regular toast trying to get by. (he/him/you there!/Earthling/hominid/mammal/animal/lifeform/entity/noun/non-vacuum/cluster of mass) Toast works too.
ellory smith @ellorysmith
65K Followers 1K Following 3x Emmy nominated writer who is always looking for corporate work
OnlyMostlyIrish @OnlyMostlyIrish
198 Followers 973 Following What I lack in desirable human qualities, I make up for in self-deprecating sarcasm and the ability to remember the occasional knock knock joke!
eebahn @eebahn
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Jim Gaffigan @JimGaffigan
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Sen. Bernie Sanders @SenSanders
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Festive Owl @TheFestiveOwl
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Joe Biden Insult Bot @BidenInsultBot
95K Followers 13 Following Tweet anything at me, Jack. I'll show you where to put it, ya two-timing eggman. Powered by @TheDailyShow
#aideTweet BOT @aidetweetbot
956 Followers 1 Following I watch what @RealDonaldTrump tweets and I try to determine if an Aide or DT actually wrote it. About: https://t.co/rHkkgcRIIY
Judy Chu @RepJudyChu
78K Followers 40K Following Proudly representing California's 28th District in the U.S. House of Representatives. @WaysMeansCmte. @HouseBudgetDems. @USProgressives. Chair Emerita @CAPAC.
SimpsonsQOTD @SimpsQuotesOTD
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rmn @russelneiss
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Alex Guerra @LotsOfData
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Jeremy Stacey @DrumPianoStudio
27 Followers 1K Following Providing quality instruction in Drum Set, Piano, Music Theory, Marching & Orchestral Percussion
dcuatt @dcuatt
603 Followers 3K Following Sr. Environment Artist at @UnbrokenStudios personal account -- mostly memes, opinions are from ME and ME ONLY
C Nicholson @seesailer
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PhantasMal @Malcontent79
635 Followers 432 Following Artist, multi-disciplinary. No autofollow but always fav pet pics. Strong believer in compassion. He/him https://t.co/fiWtnVYsco
bonnie burke @bonnierabbit148
2 Followers 12 Following
chris davy @thetoffa
78 Followers 322 Following English bloke now residing in California - been put out to pasture so now pretending to be a writer. check out my soon to be two novels https://t.co/flnrkbwmFz
Chris Oliver @ChrisWoodOliver
892 Followers 681 Following Stand Up Comic, Writer, English Teacher and Co-Proprietor of @TaoComedyStudio with @thebobbieoliver
WillJH @WillJH
78 Followers 237 Following
Pablo N Bread @S_E_PabsNBread
168 Followers 303 Following Sausage, Egg, Pabs 'n' Bread. @PabloGSerski & @Breadery using technology.
stephen taylor @furiousbox
42 Followers 165 Following
Nick Ursuy @PintoHHs
74 Followers 463 Following
Eddie Daniels @EddieCoinsJr
772 Followers 849 Following I thought I closed this account, but it’s still here; so I guess you may as well follow it. I’ll tweet again some day. #comedy #chat #chill
TheBrawdCast @TheBrawdCast
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