Totally Not a Witch @reducedbryce
This is just a dumpster fire that is occasionally fed with the coal of afterthoughts. Pasadena Joined July 2011-
Tweets1K
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Followers49
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Following59
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Likes538
@TMobileHelp Why can’t I buy a new phone from Apple for my partner on our T-Mobile account? All phones are owned/paid, no overdue balance, and I’ve been a customer for 8+ years. All devices are available for upgrade. Apple Store tells me to contact carrier for “denying upgrade”
It shouldn’t have taken me this long to realize Hipsters are practically modern Flappers of the 21st century.
@Malcontent79 fr, that kid had like 3!
The first person to discover butter must have been like, “Oh crap I just ruined the families milk!” and then probably pretended they made it on purpose when someone tried it on their pancakes.
Guys, working out is a scam. Your laundry like doubles and you live longer, effectively tripling your laundry.
The state needs to introduce a buyback program for Keurig machines similar to the assault rifle buyback.
I want to be able to look at life’s challenges the way my cat looks at me when I clean up his vomit. Confidently indifferent while lounging comfortably in the corner.
My name isn’t, and never was, John Jacob Jingleheimer Schmidt. I only said it was because that’s what the cool kids at camp were doing too.
Crazy that you can’t spell “cancel culture” without “uncut cell care”
Ever feel like you’d love to have a podcast but you don’t have a good mic or anything to say?
Let me put it on Twitter too cause this needs the attention
@RepMTG @RepMarieNewman Fixed it
I’m not sure why it took until the middle of March for me to realize I don’t appreciate being judged by some old, chubby white dude trying to outshine Jesus on his birthday.
@Mickey_Cloudz I don’t know what this means but I feel both honored and offended
@Mickey_Cloudz My understanding is they aren’t fking anyone. Was I mistaken?
@SquareEnix @tombraider I just realized it’s a play on words! #SquareEnixPresents
I finally got a hair cut after all of this quarantine and was able to donate it to Locks of Its-the-Thought-That-Counts
@ApolloNano nano_11m6iay8hrrymn5qei8ykydwryqmehjd7bom6mbh88cqngnrcuq6ui5bboih
Shewlau @shewlau8262
52 Followers 6K Following
JaneMurray @Fgc4D38kpq6kQX
70 Followers 7K Following
MERCY📊 @Mercy_btc_trade
84 Followers 878 Following Over a million successful trades💻 forex expert💱 expert crypto tradeEarn $22,500 weekly📥Dm for more info 8 years trading experience trusted manager📈📉
eebahn @eebahn
31 Followers 159 Following
dcuatt @dcuatt
603 Followers 3K Following Sr. Environment Artist at @UnbrokenStudios personal account -- mostly memes, opinions are from ME and ME ONLY
PhantasMal @Malcontent79
635 Followers 432 Following Artist, multi-disciplinary. No autofollow but always fav pet pics. Strong believer in compassion. He/him https://t.co/fiWtnVYsco
Amanda Hansen @SalamandaMonkey
162 Followers 1K Following
bonnie burke @bonnierabbit148
2 Followers 12 Following
chris davy @thetoffa
78 Followers 322 Following English bloke now residing in California - been put out to pasture so now pretending to be a writer. check out my soon to be two novels https://t.co/flnrkbwmFz
Jeremy Stacey @DrumPianoStudio
27 Followers 1K Following Providing quality instruction in Drum Set, Piano, Music Theory, Marching & Orchestral Percussion
Mariela Ramirez @Mariela_Ram_25
19 Followers 148 Following Mas vale una pregunta pendeja que un pendejo que no pregunta.
Alex Guerra @LotsOfData
28 Followers 760 Following
Toast_Sapper (he/him) @Toast_Sapper
2K Followers 5K Following Just a regular toast trying to get by. (he/him/you there!/Earthling/hominid/mammal/animal/lifeform/entity/noun/non-vacuum/cluster of mass) Toast works too.
Chris Oliver @ChrisWoodOliver
892 Followers 681 Following Stand Up Comic, Writer, English Teacher and Co-Proprietor of @TaoComedyStudio with @thebobbieoliver
Pablo N Bread @S_E_PabsNBread
168 Followers 303 Following Sausage, Egg, Pabs 'n' Bread. @PabloGSerski & @Breadery using technology.
WillJH @WillJH
78 Followers 237 Following
OnlyMostlyIrish @OnlyMostlyIrish
198 Followers 973 Following What I lack in desirable human qualities, I make up for in self-deprecating sarcasm and the ability to remember the occasional knock knock joke!
stephen taylor @furiousbox
42 Followers 165 Following
Wake Up, Badwolf! @BadWolfBeepBeep
95 Followers 179 Following
Evening Worship @PPC @EveningWorship
40 Followers 263 Following We are a community of worship, service, laughter, and friendship. All are welcome! We invite you to join us Sunday nights at 7pm in Freeman Chapel at PPC.
Eric Hahn @Hahneric
3K Followers 2K Following Pretty gay. Comedian. Writer. Big “closer friends with my friends’ moms than with my friends”-type energy.
Eddie Daniels @EddieCoinsJr
772 Followers 849 Following I thought I closed this account, but it’s still here; so I guess you may as well follow it. I’ll tweet again some day. #comedy #chat #chill
TheBrawdCast @TheBrawdCast
5K Followers 4K Following
Allison Gadberry @ahalfielife
42 Followers 148 Following
jenniemcenany @jenniemcenany
35 Followers 223 Following
Nick Ursuy @PintoHHs
74 Followers 463 Following
JeffKazComedy @JeffKazanjian
970 Followers 2K Following Comedy Writer. Creator of Big Momma Earth. https://t.co/3mrpZICh1U…
Comedian Sally Mullin... @SallyMullins1
20K Followers 5K Following Comedy, porn and cat rescue. Yes, you can have it all!
Yin Comedy @YinComedy
810 Followers 1K Following Comedy could use a little more Yin with its Yang. Supporting women on the mic. We love our comedy brothers! Run by @thebobbieoliver @taocomedystudio
Carol Saulsbury @CaSauls
252 Followers 1K Following I read, therefore I am. Urban Native with relentless curiosity and wide-ranging love of music.
aaaarrrrgggghhhh @CaptainObtuse
2K Followers 2K Following Your uncle molests collies. This is my other account.
🪷Bobbie Oliver Ama... @thebobbieoliver
8K Followers 4K Following #RiotGrrrl Comedian from Athens, GA . Author of https://t.co/Mz3A2NIXkS I own @TaoComedyStudio in LA w/ @chriswoodoliver + @laughriotgrrrls she/her/grrrl
Jeremy Stacey @JStaceyMusic
21 Followers 107 Following Film, Television, & Videogame Composer Drummer, Percussionist, & Educator [email protected]
miss julie @missjulie
217 Followers 468 Following
MK @petsandkids91
139 Followers 231 Following MK. California Grown. Snake breeder. Pittie owner. Crazy Cat Lady. Mama-Saraus.
PPC @PasadenaPres
80 Followers 241 Following We are a tri-lingual, multicultural congregation in Pasadena, CA.
Maria Bamford @mariabamfoo
188K Followers 700 Following Handcrafted Stand-Up Comedy Since the 1900’s ✈️ I'M ON TOUR!
rachel wolfson @wolfiecomedy
37K Followers 4K Following inquiries: [email protected] #jackasstwt @jackass @wolfiedms @rwinterrupted
Dr. Glaucomflecken @DGlaucomflecken
687K Followers 429 Following Ophthalmologist. Comedian. Speaker. Tiktok. Contact: [email protected] Bluesky: https://t.co/XXBQPt82Qg
Ken Klippenstein @kenklippenstein
572K Followers 4K Following Independent journalist. Join my newsletter: https://t.co/NnMpNEOP2K👈 Signal: 202-510-1268
Kate Willett @katewillett
61K Followers 4K Following Comedian, Author, Podcaster (NETFLIX, Colbert) - "a perfect blend of smart and filthy" - SF Weekly - TOUR DATES on my website. New comedy special out now!
Cody Johnston @drmistercody
255K Followers 4K Following Retweets are endorphins. Host/creator of @SomeMoreNews and one half of @TheHotShapes.
Toast_Sapper (he/him) @Toast_Sapper
2K Followers 5K Following Just a regular toast trying to get by. (he/him/you there!/Earthling/hominid/mammal/animal/lifeform/entity/noun/non-vacuum/cluster of mass) Toast works too.
ellory smith @ellorysmith
65K Followers 1K Following 3x Emmy nominated writer who is always looking for corporate work
OnlyMostlyIrish @OnlyMostlyIrish
198 Followers 973 Following What I lack in desirable human qualities, I make up for in self-deprecating sarcasm and the ability to remember the occasional knock knock joke!
eebahn @eebahn
31 Followers 159 Following
Jim Gaffigan @JimGaffigan
2.6M Followers 3K Following Male Model. “Live from Old Forester: The Bourbon Set” https://t.co/wvEONXI5na https://t.co/39GfjGbHaW
Sen. Bernie Sanders @SenSanders
11.6M Followers 2K Following Sen. Sanders of Vermont, Ranking Member of U.S. Senate Committee on Health, Education, Labor & Pensions, longest-serving independent in congressional history.
Festive Owl @TheFestiveOwl
94K Followers 100 Following Stay in the know. Get festival news, rumors, lineups, giveaways + more directly in your inbox with the Owl newsletter 👉 link in bio.
Joe Biden Insult Bot @BidenInsultBot
95K Followers 13 Following Tweet anything at me, Jack. I'll show you where to put it, ya two-timing eggman. Powered by @TheDailyShow
#aideTweet BOT @aidetweetbot
956 Followers 1 Following I watch what @RealDonaldTrump tweets and I try to determine if an Aide or DT actually wrote it. About: https://t.co/rHkkgcRIIY
Judy Chu @RepJudyChu
78K Followers 40K Following Proudly representing California's 28th District in the U.S. House of Representatives. @WaysMeansCmte. @HouseBudgetDems. @USProgressives. Chair Emerita @CAPAC.
SimpsonsQOTD @SimpsQuotesOTD
495K Followers 1 Following
rmn @russelneiss
73K Followers 0 Following
Alex Guerra @LotsOfData
28 Followers 760 Following
Jeremy Stacey @DrumPianoStudio
27 Followers 1K Following Providing quality instruction in Drum Set, Piano, Music Theory, Marching & Orchestral Percussion
dcuatt @dcuatt
603 Followers 3K Following Sr. Environment Artist at @UnbrokenStudios personal account -- mostly memes, opinions are from ME and ME ONLY
C Nicholson @seesailer
3 Followers 0 Following
PhantasMal @Malcontent79
635 Followers 432 Following Artist, multi-disciplinary. No autofollow but always fav pet pics. Strong believer in compassion. He/him https://t.co/fiWtnVYsco
bonnie burke @bonnierabbit148
2 Followers 12 Following
chris davy @thetoffa
78 Followers 322 Following English bloke now residing in California - been put out to pasture so now pretending to be a writer. check out my soon to be two novels https://t.co/flnrkbwmFz
Chris Oliver @ChrisWoodOliver
892 Followers 681 Following Stand Up Comic, Writer, English Teacher and Co-Proprietor of @TaoComedyStudio with @thebobbieoliver
WillJH @WillJH
78 Followers 237 Following
Pablo N Bread @S_E_PabsNBread
168 Followers 303 Following Sausage, Egg, Pabs 'n' Bread. @PabloGSerski & @Breadery using technology.
stephen taylor @furiousbox
42 Followers 165 Following
Nick Ursuy @PintoHHs
74 Followers 463 Following
Eddie Daniels @EddieCoinsJr
772 Followers 849 Following I thought I closed this account, but it’s still here; so I guess you may as well follow it. I’ll tweet again some day. #comedy #chat #chill
TheBrawdCast @TheBrawdCast
5K Followers 4K Following
Allison Gadberry @ahalfielife
42 Followers 148 Following
jenniemcenany @jenniemcenany
35 Followers 223 Following
JeffKazComedy @JeffKazanjian
970 Followers 2K Following Comedy Writer. Creator of Big Momma Earth. https://t.co/3mrpZICh1U…


















