Tally @parksandtally
Integrity is choosing your thoughts and actions based on values rather than personal gain. California, USA Joined December 2014-
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I promise you, a loyal person will not become disloyal and betray you when they are angry with you. The truth is, people who choose to betray you when you do something that upsets them rather than tell you so you can apologize and change your behavior are not loyal to begin with.
Never underestimate a cycle breaker. Not only did they face years of generational trauma, but they stood in the face of that trauma and said “This ends with me.” This is brave. This is powerful. This comes at a significant cost. Never underestimate a cycle breaker.
May you attract the people who appreciate you, respect you, heal with you, grow with you, evolve with you, support you when you feel helpless and alone, reassure you when you overthink, make you feel safe when you feel insecure, and love you on the days you don't feel loveable.
Blog: "When patients w/ complex or chronic medical situations are treated poorly by medical professionals— behavior that might include condescension, gaslighting, or neglect— seeking health care can turn into a complex traumatic stressor." useyourdamnskills.com/2023/11/30/wha…
When something this painful is brought to your attention, you have a choice: to look away, or to ask - how can I help? Each of us will have opportunities, whatever our line of work or walk in life is, to make that choice, to choose to help.#loveslwayswins
People can't succeed if we don't give them the chance and the faith! I believe in you #lovealwayswins
When the absence of a Negative Does Not Make a Positive: in relationships this is often the case especially when trauma has already harmed a person’s ability to connect and feel safe . #lovealwayswins
We can't overcome shame alone. Because shame isn't a fault in our brain, something gone wrong in our wiring. It's a response to a rejecting world. And the answer to that is empathy. #lovealwayswins #beingseen #beingheard #beingsafe
What if the story we were told about how we're only lovable or valuable as long as we're attractive to or can do something for someone is actually bullsh*t? What if we're worthy & lovable right now-- no accomplishment or transformation required? Because guess what.
When we feel heard and understood, our emotional defenses begin to lower. #loveslwayswins
I am repeatedly astounded by the traumatic toll of NOT being seen, understood, and believed. I want to remind you: YOUR pain, suffering, and loss is REAL even if people are minimizing it or trying to quantify it in relation to another’s pain. I believe you. I believe you. I…
The real trauma happened earlier - when you first knew that you were alone.
The essence of empathy is the ability to stand in another's shoes, feel what it's like there, and to care about making it better if it hurts. #lovealwayswins
There are few words that capture the pain of what it means to walk away from what’s familiar because it’s hurting you, while trusting what’s next will bring peace. It’s lonely to lose who you know. It’s brave to want more. On your toughest days, may your bravery help you be.
I don’t know who needs to hear this from a neuropsychologist but in the midst of traumatic events (and arguably always), letting your kids know they are loved and safe is exponentially MORE important than making sure they finish their homework.
Positive thinking doesn't always lead to peak performance, but negative thinking almost always leads to poor performance.
When someone on the outside begins to root for you, you start to root for yourself. When you start to care about where your life is headed, you begin to make choices that reflect that. #lovealwayswins
Make no mistake: any trauma survivor you see discussing their struggle in public has had previous experiences of not being heard, not being believed, &/or being punished for disclosing their pain. Continuing to speak their truth after all that is an act of unbelievable courage.
It’s tragic how many people feel like they have to prove that they are good people when the driving force behind that shame is not because of things they’ve done but because of things that were done to them. This is the lasting impact of trauma to an innocent soul.
NAIA Hoops Report @NAIAHoopsReport
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April is child abuse awareness month. What survivors hear: "You're stronger now because of the abuse." "I bet your abusers were abused too." "Now you can help others who were abused." What they need to hear: "That was not supposed to happen. Are you ok?"
Big pharma doesn't care about you. They want to prescribe a profitable pill for brain fog, depression, anxiety, and overthinking. As a therapist, I'm tired of it. A thread on somatic psychology (and the healing power of your body):
Trauma is misunderstood. We all have a version. Subtle or severe. Take a look:
It was wonderful to connect with @megappelgate from @unsilenced_now this week. They do incredible work and everyone should follow along and advocate for justice for the survivors of institutional abuse….and worse, it came under the disguise of #therapy. #RevengeOfTheClients
I'm glad that my story as a survivor of the #TroubledTeenIndustry, specifically of Tranquility Bay in #Jamaica, is being heard. These American-run facilities abroad must be closed. #AtlantisLeadershipAcademy should not be allowed to reopen. jamaica-gleaner.com/article/lead-s…
Because of what I went through in the #TroubledTeenIndustry, when I heard that seven American boys asked if I would attend their court hearing in Jamaica after being saved from #AtlantisLeadershipAcademy due to horrific abuse allegations including being violently beaten, whipped,…
We are proud of our own Michael McFarland as he represents the family of Cody Fleischman in a complicated international matter surrounding allegations of #childabuse at #AtlantisLeadershipAcademy. We are working with authorities to get Cody safely back on U.S. soil.
Not all hurt people, hurt people. Some remember how much it cost them and couldn’t imagine putting someone else through that.
It would be easier to remove an abuser from your life if they were cruel all the time, but they generally are not. They can be kind and caring towards you. Loving. Generous. It seems real. They can be nice for weeks, months. The abuse always starts again. What’s happening?…
As survivors of childhood trauma, many of us have no point of reference to understand 'normal'. Trauma is our normal.
Authentic love is a commitment to learn each other, to get through conflict, and to choose each other even when it’s hard.
As a psychiatrist working in a tertiary care psychiatric hospital for almost 30 years, I have seen hundreds of patients who have been convinced that they should end their lives. They truly believed there was no hope. Almost all of them found their way to a better place.…
Kids can’t name abuse in homes where it’s the norm. Stop this bullshit about “why didn’t you tell someone” when all they’ve ever known is they don’t have the right to ask for help and if they do they’ll pay a further price.
People judge decisions survivors make as if they should know better. I can't stress this enough, when you are in survival mode with a traumatized mind & body you aren't making decisions to change your life & stop the madness around you. You are making decisions to get by.
@EssentialMastry Absolutely! Bad communication or no communication means a lot of assumptions, stories, and expectations.
@MindHealthMaker Well said. No communication, only assumptions, stories, and expectations. Hard to build deep connections.
@mindandglory Spot on! See what they do, not what they say they'll do. Actions tell all.
Trauma survivors don't need to be reminded that it is our responsibility to work our recovery. We do often need to be reminded that not everything is our fault & not everyone is our responsibility.
Instead of trigonometry maybe we should have all learned how to regulate our nervous systems….and write a check, and do our taxes. Just a thought. -Dr. Jen