Fake Mr. Kelce @captbeardguy
Not actually Jason Kelce. English teacher, actor, girl dad. Lifelong suffering 5/5 Philadelphia fan. Eagerly awaiting death and pancakes. We are. Joined July 2009-
Tweets83K
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Fake Mr. Kelce retweeted
If you're wondering why the MLB dot com play-by-play data for this game is frozen, it's because Alec Bohm just broke the dude's computer with a foul ball
Lmao I rewound to watch the Marsh homer and missed Nick’s
Fake Mr. Kelce retweeted
This really the Lito Sheppard and Sheldon Brown draft. Alot of yall too young to know.
Fake Mr. Kelce retweeted
the draft is an incredible experiment because they give the bad teams high picks to create parity and then they do stuff like "draft bo nix" and then literally every defensive player in the draft falls to the playoff teams
Fake Mr. Kelce retweeted
Still can't believe it.
Fake Mr. Kelce retweeted
Joe Biden gets some of Da Bomb on his tongue and vaporizes like someone opened the Ark.
Seems miserable
Just might have to give my kiddos some extra credit after how well today went for Philly
Fake Mr. Kelce retweeted
Phillies Win Sixers Win Embiid drops 50pts Eagles extend AJ Brown’s contract Eagles draft Quinyon Mitchell
Fake Mr. Kelce retweeted
when Howie signs him we will tailgate his arrival at novacare
when Howie signs him we will tailgate his arrival at novacare
Good pick by the Jets. This will help Rodgers last until the second quarter of their first home game.
Drake Maye looks like he was built in a lab to be a Patriot QB
Fake Mr. Kelce retweeted
*has no maternity leave and pays more than her mortgage in daycare costs* “Amy when you gonna have a second child???”
*has no maternity leave and pays more than her mortgage in daycare costs* “Amy when you gonna have a second child???”
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Malachi @BandmanMalachi3
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Supply Good Brands LL.. @sgbrandsllc
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derek guy @dieworkwear
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So what is with all of Howie's trades? This isn't a great draft class. With NIL, more kids stayed in school. That means next year's class should be better and deeper. Having extra picks in 2025 makes a lot of sense.
Kruk's completely perplexed "what?" is so great.
Doc Rivers on Damian Lillard: “I think it's his Achilles again... In the overtime, he literally said, 'I'll be the decoy. I just can't go as far as explosion.'” (via @eric_nehm)
I love this 😂 This question was clearly hoping to induce some stereotypical, sappy story of struggle and triumph and sis basically said, “oh the flight over was easy, love”
Hardest I’ve laughed in weeks.
The reflexive, meta one-liners that used to come out of the mouths of bit-part bystanders now come from the protagonists. It was always more fun when the heroes weren't in on the joke.
Can’t stop imitating this guy. Movies need to go back to having bewildered extras
Dugout reactions when you go back to back >>>
I’m sorry but this is the greatest tv pitch I’ve ever heard and we should all be angry it’s not happening
David Cross and Bob Odenkirk were meant to star in a docu-style comedy about rival cult gurus manipulating the minds of their deluded followers. The series got scrapped as the analytics & marketing department didn’t get it. (Source: variety.com/2024/tv/news/d…)
It’s Phillies after dark roll call time. Like if you’re staying up to watch. Let’s start this series off with a win please, Phillies! 👀⚾️ Go Phils! Boo Padres.
If you're wondering why the MLB dot com play-by-play data for this game is frozen, it's because Alec Bohm just broke the dude's computer with a foul ball
Okay but what if DUNE was a comedy? Fan trailer by yours truly.
Perhaps this is sacrilege, but: The Schwarber homer in the 2022 NLCS was almost the Barry Bonds homer in the 2002 World Series but with better cameras
Bryce Harper just absolutely walloped one out to right field at Petco and it's a good reminder that the Kyle Schwarber bomb there in the 2022 NLCS was one of the most bonkers homers we've seen in a while
Of course it was McLane. Dickhead.
What an outrageous question in Cooper DeJean’s Introductory Press Conference 😭 #Eagles
Cooper De Jean after a few weeks in Philly.
If the Eagles want me to shotgun a beer tonight they’ll draft Cooper DeJean
.@brandongraham55's pick announcement for @cdejean23 was immaculate 😂
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