jear desus @___l1nds3y___
brb running my brain under some cold water my couch Joined November 2013-
Tweets16K
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Followers1K
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Following1K
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Likes185K
non americans don’t realize how small the united states really is
“the horrors persist but so do we” actually the horrors are kind of lapping me right now
my mom will do laps around the kitchen island while watching a tv show on her tablet with headphones (she also might be crazy)
my mom will do laps around the kitchen island while watching a tv show on her tablet with headphones (she also might be crazy)
If you wear cowboy clothes are you technically ranch dressing
already did a thing today and currently doing another thing. how am i capable of doing this
i wonder why people don't take me seriously at work but then i remember i wear jeans, graphic t shirts, vans & a flannel to a corporate 9-5
im T I R E D of slander against guards scanning the water your kid is more safe w his "head bobs" than other lifeguards who just stand there
im T I R E D of slander against guards scanning the water your kid is more safe w his "head bobs" than other lifeguards who just stand there
Absolutely cannot be arsed with pub/kid/dog discourse but I do feel strongly that more pubs should have a large tabby cat that sleeps on the bar and opens one eye with disdain as you approach.
Microdose retirement by doing nothing for two days in a row.
My phone been on silent for the past decade.
impatiently waiting for warmer mornings where i can have my tea on the back porch with my kindle
me living through 9/11, 2 historic recessions, a pandemic, inflation and now world war 3
finding carter
ordered a baconator meal on doordash and got no baconator
bout to have the best sleep of my life
Five year plan? I just wake up every day and see what the vibes are.
All meetings should happen at 11am. This is the best and only time for a meeting. Anything before that is unreasonable, too early. Then it's lunch. Between 2 and 4 is just a lull. After 5 it's offensive.
Not only is it not Friday, it's not even Thursday.
alexis @LexiStevens7
415 Followers 337 Following
Turd Ferguson @nrevoGcM_naeS
474 Followers 533 Following “oh goooood for yooou” - Christian Bale, 2009
c★rter @carteraudrey444
586 Followers 200 Following reinventing myself - sometimes this shit gets messy
kris @kristo_kell
366 Followers 867 Following he/him • SVC 20’ • SVC 21’ (again) • phd dropout • dumbass
carleybug 🌷🪿 @carleyciampoli
512 Followers 439 Following just a teenage girl her in mid twenties. 🫶🏻 be loud about things that are important to you!!
NikiaBurnard @BurnardNik46278
7 Followers 627 Following
Ashley Beenken (Taylo.. @AshleyBeenken
2K Followers 2K Following CCU Alum || Wannabe NFL analyst || Stat geek || Probably tweeting about the @Ravens, @orioles, @gamecockfb, or @taylorswift13 #RavensFlock #Birdland
Inell Plahs @IPlahs29660
77 Followers 5K Following
Brenda Amigo @BreAmigo
51 Followers 5K Following
Leo Jarocki @JarockiLeo80025
35 Followers 5K Following
Maxine Jorinscay @JorinscayM42234
89 Followers 5K Following
Kayla Washam @was_kayl
46 Followers 5K Following
Meave Adelstein @AdelsteinM36257
93 Followers 5K Following
Mickey Schimke @MickeySchimk
27 Followers 5K Following
Georgette Bertella @GeorgetteB15231
67 Followers 5K Following
Carmen Wettach @CarmeWetta
42 Followers 5K Following
Elodia Lorton @ElodiaLort83225
48 Followers 5K Following
Kaylene Hysquierdo @KHysquierd73985
61 Followers 5K Following
Gabriella Giagni @GabriellaGiag
55 Followers 5K Following
Shante Shidel @ShanteShid65117
71 Followers 5K Following
Tenesha Pettaway @PettaTenesh
37 Followers 5K Following
Tiny Sutter @sutter_sutt
81 Followers 5K Following
Aizah Pollutro @AizahPollu
86 Followers 5K Following
Sophia Meehl @meehl_me
80 Followers 5K Following
Alexandra Lenherr @AlexandraL61735
91 Followers 5K Following
Hadley Starns @hadl_starn
61 Followers 5K Following
Angel Sturm @an_sturm
34 Followers 5K Following
Jamie Inocencio @jam_inocenc
74 Followers 5K Following
Herman Dolce, Jr @Haitiani_ceo
121 Followers 2K Following Business Funding Coach Funded 💲1️⃣0️⃣0️⃣ Million Dollars 👇🏿 CLICK THE LINK
Lola-rose Zidzik @zidz_r
38 Followers 5K Following
Kayoshia Hardy @KayoshiaHardy
84 Followers 174 Following
Kerri Lynn @scary_kerri98
18 Followers 34 Following locked out of the old one bc of 2FA rip to an era of shit posting
Judith @morelli10judith
99 Followers 3K Following
Sara Mintken @SarMintk
40 Followers 5K Following
Isadora Demosthenes @IsadoraDem69188
34 Followers 5K Following
Merrilee Hiemstra @MerrileeHi64495
49 Followers 5K Following
Annika Shankle @ShankleAnn71714
39 Followers 5K Following
Ameera Joline @jol_ame
39 Followers 4K Following
Jean Defina @DefinaJe
33 Followers 4K Following
Amy Bellettiere @bellettier34645
44 Followers 5K Following
Aarvi Watton @WattAarv
47 Followers 5K Following
Edna Demetree @demetree63245
61 Followers 5K Following
Markita Pagni @MarkitaPag26907
33 Followers 5K Following
Zainab Dornbusch @ZDornbusc
54 Followers 5K Following
Madison Mikkelsen @MikkelseMadi
84 Followers 5K Following
Goldie Saleado @gold_salea
46 Followers 5K Following
alexis @LexiStevens7
415 Followers 337 Following
Turd Ferguson @nrevoGcM_naeS
474 Followers 533 Following “oh goooood for yooou” - Christian Bale, 2009
Mike Tomlin @CoachTomlin
483K Followers 50 Following Official Account of the Head Coach of the Pittsburgh Steelers
c★rter @carteraudrey444
586 Followers 200 Following reinventing myself - sometimes this shit gets messy
kris @kristo_kell
366 Followers 867 Following he/him • SVC 20’ • SVC 21’ (again) • phd dropout • dumbass
Katie Harwick @kharwick18
911 Followers 579 Following get jazzy (she/her) #letsgopens | #herewego | #letsgobucs | #differenthere
Jake McCaulley @jake_mccaulley
395 Followers 356 Following
Jake Herron @jakeherron51
3K Followers 911 Following Associate Director of Recruiting Content: @WVUfootball @caitszakal💛
SVC Bearcats @SVC_Bearcats
6K Followers 199 Following The official X account of the Saint Vincent College Bearcats, proud member of @ncaadiii, @PAC_Athletics and @ECACSports.
kendall ☻ @kendall_lee99
325 Followers 522 Following
Kerri Lynn @scary_kerri98
18 Followers 34 Following locked out of the old one bc of 2FA rip to an era of shit posting
Bigpuffer @BigPuffer
245K Followers 553 Following Extremely Professional Twitch Streamer. Youtuber. Go Panthers! Business Email - [email protected]
ElasticDroid @ElasticDroid
143K Followers 495 Following Cut Grass, and Eat Ass | [email protected] | | https://t.co/4cCsj6T8Rm
PierceTheSkies @PierceTheSkies_
1K Followers 285 Following Tall Pretty boy who makes dark shitty rap. Avi: @lukabooga
Grizzy @SoGrizzy
743K Followers 584 Following Professional Goofball | https://t.co/b1lQVjm2Lx | business email: [email protected]
Matt @ItsBlarg
234K Followers 747 Following Youtuber guy, co-host of @goonspc, and enjoyer of many things [email protected] for business inquiries
Oklahoma Department o.. @OKWildlifeDept
247K Followers 1K Following We manage & protect fish & wildlife, along with their habitats, while also growing a community of hunters & anglers, partnering with those who love the outdoors
Pezzy @Pezzy__
117K Followers 367 Following do the hahas | Twitch: https://t.co/2YZJnVnNxJ | Business Email: [email protected]
SMii7Y 🥛 @SMii7Y
1.2M Followers 680 Following 🥛 Professional Milkbag 🥛 "Content" Creator | Business Inquiries - [email protected]
Zachary Frew @RyseMySon
71 Followers 227 Following
tyler @tyler02020202
121K Followers 1K Following
no context memes @weirddalle
1.7M Followers 461 Following memes and weird ai generations | dm for promo | @hardaipics | follow my IG
~𝒮𝓎𝒹𝓃ℯ�.. @Sditillio
33 Followers 113 Following
Drew Afualo @DrewAfualo
380K Followers 318 Following it really just be like that sometimes 📧: [email protected] 7.9M on Tiktok
Nico @Molnar_2356
192 Followers 377 Following There is no Process without Trust as there is no Trust without the Process
ej 🧡✨🏳️�.. @EJPlayss
4K Followers 660 Following he/they | 29 | Gaymer/Playwright/Gremlin/Survior-Watcher | YT and Twitch Partner | biz: [email protected]
Kaelynn Behrens @kaebehrens
8 Followers 39 Following
sage🌿 @autumnfrogacnh
2K Followers 3K Following the one with a tea addiction☕️🫖🧋|| mental health matters || you matter ||searching for moots✨ || 22 🤍
cats being weird litt.. @weirdlilguys
2.1M Followers 25 Following wlg fan club 🐈 dm for submissions + credit! • IG: @ catsbeingweirdlittleguys • partnerships: [email protected] • MERCH 👇👇
Mayor Mori @MayorMori
19K Followers 776 Following Cozy Gamer • YouTube Partner • Animal Crossing Card Collector • https://t.co/qz87d6AxNp • Patreon: https://t.co/MoqMLbaeXH • Insta: @MayorMori
Katie 🌿 @KatieCozyway
5K Followers 578 Following 🌿 she / her, 31 🌲 @YouTubeGaming partner 🍃 cozy games with a dash of chaos ✉️ business inquiries ➜ [email protected]
eva 🌻 @colmicrossing
75 Followers 82 Following (she/her)• 25 • eng | esp • just arrived to lesbos • acnh and acnhtwt • looking for acnh moots •
𝔤𝔦𝔤𝔦 ❤�.. @scarycrossing
350 Followers 441 Following 🖤 she/her - cute & creepy - 420 friendly - NSFW +18 🎮 Currently playing: DiabloIV, 7 Days to Die & Oxenfree II
Lex Play 🪴 @lexplayyy
37K Followers 1K Following Lex Play on YouTube | she/her | 25 | EpicPartner code lexplayyy {pfp & banner by monofoxx}
Will Jackson @wjackson1242
28 Followers 86 Following
Jj.Estep @jj_estep
172 Followers 437 Following as a wise man once said, ow I can feel my alcohol poisoning
Brandon Lucas @BrandonLucas02
249 Followers 378 Following Shoulda wrote this in Latin | sc: brandonlucas23 | SVC 20 | Cactus Jack 🌵|
archduchessabilify @stillnot_lauren
453 Followers 594 Following “mall people they come & go; small people they just don’t know.” she/her, they/them is fine.
Isabelle @animalcrossing
1.5M Followers 3 Following Welcome to Animal Crossing: New Horizons! Learn more about the Deserted Island Getaway Package from Isabelle!
Liminal Spaces @SpaceLiminalBot
1.3M Followers 1 Following Trip on the verge of reality || if you want any content removed, please dm @artumouza || OP sources on @LiminalLinks
she looks like she's about to tell nick jonas the seven things she hates about him
Miley Cyrus debuts new long brown hair with bangs ✨
y'all ever delete a friend request and they send it again like bro i said no😭
Sometimes a "hey" can be the start to 3 years of trauma so l just don't reply
The waters haven’t been safe since Americans found out a group of fish is called a school
A Dead dolphin with multiple bullet holes was found in Louisiana. The Feds are offering a $20,000 reward for information leading to a conviction
You know it’s payday when they call it by name and surname, not just “wine” 🙄
Start the paperwork for an Audi RS3
After taking a huge sip, what's next?
Women: Just try not to be a piece of shit. And maybe smell good? Men: Oh, so we have to be 6’5? We have to make $500k a year? We have to have been D1 athletes? Have 6-pack abs? Women: Just be normal. We’re negotiable on the smelling good. Men: Women don’t know what they want!
i don’t want hugs or drugs i just want financial stability.
A first grader told me his grandmother has lots of tattoos on her face. (Me-picturing Granny Post Malone) What kind of tattoos, I asked. Smile tattoos, he said. After more talking, I realized he meant wrinkles, but I’m going to call them smile tattoos from now on.
Don’t ever get excited if your kid likes a new food. They won’t like it tomorrow.
Last week I got really high and tried to order a pack of 50 little plastic spiders because "its cheaper now, cus Halloween wouldn't expect it in April" but instead I ordered 50 packs of 200 and now have 10,000 little plastic spiders sitting in a box in my living room.
My mental health has improved greatly over the last week. No, I’m not taking medication, I just stopped reading the comments on Facebook.
The G in LGBT is short for Guy who… erm, how shall I put this… prefers the company of men
West Nile Virus Is Good, Most Mosquitos Say
Very much talking to myself.
Not to brag, but I finished an entire book in one sitting. I’m going to need some new crayons.
reading this and suddenly realizing that the survey ranks new york so low because it is not possible to walk to the statue of liberty
this is the most unserious methodology I have ever seen
I'm thinking of putting my will to live in a bag of rice overnight.
That community note be kicking yall asses
Gotta vote Trump to save TikTok. What a year this is going to be.
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