Tweet Review @Tweets_Review
Drive taxi. Review tweets. Like Roger and Ebert. Have balloons. whitehouse.gov/rogerandebert Joined June 2014-
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Tweet Review retweeted
Me: Why do I feel a constant, low-grade panic? It’s like my blood is carbonated. Also me: Yum yum let’s turn on twitter and see who’s yellin
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Tweet Review retweeted
happy birthday to this horrible bigot who I want to impress on some website because I'm a spineless enabler of hatred
Tweet Review retweeted
"I can't believe we're selling this house. So many memories. Man, if walls could talk..." WALL: "I saw you vacuum up your kid's hamster."
i like this version better @BeardSpice
Tweet Review retweeted
"I don't understand moths," I say as I finish off another beer. "why do they gravitate to what kills them?" I stand. "anyone need another?"
Tweet Review retweeted
happy birthday to my friend, Lyle ClipArt
Is this @davedittell tweet about the user twitter @Home_Halfway stay tuned 7/10 thank still have passenger near midtown thank
Tweet Review retweeted
The first rule of Twitter Plagiarists Club is steal things with plausible deniability like stale puns and pedestrian formats such as this
Tweet Review retweeted
@shadygrenade at least you handed him THE BEST
Tweet Review retweeted
HOW TO MAKE $1 MILLION 1) Call Charles Barkley 2) Put in Space Jam 3) Convince him to bet $100k on Monstars 4) Repeat 10x
Tweet Review retweeted
Sometimes, during the movie previews, I'll turn to the stranger sitting next to me and whisper, "We should really go see that together."
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