You can learn so much about a person by: 1. How they react when something unexpected happens or they don’t get their way. 2. How they speak about people when they’re not around. 3. How they behave when they’re stressed or uncomfortable. 4. How they respond when you share how you feel. 5. What they do when you don’t agree with them.
@Theholisticpsyc Please be careful with making judgements based on reactions to unexpected events when there is a possibility that autism is a factor.
@Theholisticpsyc I would also add (half-seriously) how they treat service workers
@Theholisticpsyc What if in all five instances the person is negative (not abusive but just negative), what do you conclude?
@Theholisticpsyc Pay attention to how people handle unexpected situations, disagreements, and moments of vulnerability. It's in those places that their authentic self emerges from the shadows.
@Theholisticpsyc Would love to see a thread more in depth about this!!
@Theholisticpsyc How they choose to comfort you when you are down Says a lot about someone’s emotional availability and openness. Also how they feel about/react to children and animals.
@Theholisticpsyc If you only spend time with someone in one context, you'll be surprised when you see them in a different context.
Here's what I see as the underlying dynamics: 1. Mentally inflexible people get angry when life doesn't go their way or they don't get what they want. 2. Unhappy people gossip to feel significant and also to judge others. 3. With enough stress, even the most calm person can become impatient or angry. 4. People who feel threatened by feelings can get defensive and angry when you express a feeling as in, "I feel sad when..." 5. Insecure people seek agreement, and if you disagree with them, they are likely to become defensive and get angry.