Sandford Police @Sandford_Police
England’s smallest Police Farce, committed to catching crinimals & a swan. Don’t report crime. Emergency? Yes📞999 | No📞101 (PARODY/SATIRE) #TheGreaterGood linktr.ee/sandford_police Sandford, United Kingdom Joined February 2017-
Tweets25K
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Followers163K
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Following2K
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Likes30K
A reminder that your right to enjoy your day without disruption or being threatened etc is less important than others rights to enjoy mainly peaceful #Protests Please educate yourself
We are shooketh to read this analysis as no one has ever mentioned this might be the case
We are shooketh to read this analysis as no one has ever mentioned this might be the case
Officers from the Safer Cycling Unit appeal for information A pedal cycle was ridden without Due Care and Attention for other road users and forced a private hire vehicle to drive on the wrong side of the road
Officers have investigated an incident where a cycle was stolen, however there was insufficient information to identify any suspect
Urgent appeal for a lost #FridayFeeling If you have any information that could assist us please get in contact
NEW: Latest crime figures from @ONS … Some deeply disturbing stats in the police recorded data: Shoplifting up 37% to a record high Gun crime up 9% Knife crime up 7% Robbery up 13% All figures for 2023 in England and Wales compared with 2022. Only @Sandford_Police…
Ok let’s talk about desensitisation…👀 I don’t know how many sudden deaths I’ve been to. I can’t tell you how many dead bodies I’ve seen. That’s not a normal thing to say is it? (⚠️ Health warning for the rest of this post. ⚠️) But that’s my job. As a Response Cop and now…
Our Sandford Police Federation stand shoulder to shoulder with our colleagues as we seek information that will probably not be forthcoming as, well, this is the National Fed (who might be stuck on a gravy train)
Our Sandford Police Federation stand shoulder to shoulder with our colleagues as we seek information that will probably not be forthcoming as, well, this is the National Fed (who might be stuck on a gravy train)
Following reports of a loose dragon being seen officers were deployed to manage local crowds of English 🏴 people
We are experiencing a high number of calls this morning to our emergency line Please do not have any emergencies If you do need a policing response, then that’s a bit of bad luck. We will be with you at some point, hopefully
Policing is very simple You do you best you can with the limited information you have available and you will be both right and wrong at the same time Damned if you do, damned if you don’t That’s why we don’t bother anymore, sod the lot of you
If we see you driving along looking down at your crotch area we will presume you are looking at your phone, having a wank, or both!
Happy #NationalTeaDay to all that celebrate this ancient Chinese tradition of drinking boiled leaves
You can buy us coffee or a cornetto of you like ko-fi.com/sandford/goal?…
Happy 420 day to all those who celebrate this ancient pagan tradition #420day
Not saying it’s caused the current problems, but we can time the decline of @metpoliceuk to when PC Nicholas Angel was transferred on promotion to Sgt and moved to Sandford
We are a parody account and we make less detrimental impact on policing than the actual @metpoliceuk What, the fuck, is going on 🤷🏻♂️
Traffic Sgt said our unmarked car needed some maintenance work done Can anyone see a problem?
RAF_Luton @RAF_Luton
147K Followers 27 Following The assumed Official Twitter account of the world's most mysterious & secret (and fictitious) military base. (Parody/Satire Account)
Stansaid Airport @StansaidAirport
52K Followers 6K Following 00 Days 00 Hours 00 Mins & 52 Seconds since last near miss. Parody.
Brick Cop©️ @Brick_Cop
44K Followers 4K Following Response Cop and Londoner. Building the world of Policing in #Lego 🚨 For Custom Minifigure Enquiries DM Me 📲 #BrickCop #ThinBlueLine Insta: @brick_cop 🇬🇧
UK Cop Humour @UKCopHumour
92K Followers 736 Following Simply trying to show the human side of our fantastic Police Officers & raise a bit of money for good causes whilst we're at it! RT's are not an endorsement.
TheMoustacheCop @CopMoustache
20K Followers 6K Following Retired, love it, came back, now passing the knowledge on “It’s our job to shine the light of justice into the darkest corners of criminality”
Sam Sparkes 💙🚔 @samsparkes999
38K Followers 7K Following Personal X account. I’m mum, Traffic Cop. FLC/FLO. TRiM Practitioner. I am human behind the uniform. Try to make others smile. Don’t report incidents here.
Harry Tangye @Ex_arv_sgt
50K Followers 3K Following Former Police Sgt 30 yrs | ARV Armed Response Sgt | Fatal Investigator | VIP Protection | Firearms Tactics Advisor l Public Speaker & Best Selling Author ⤵️
Nick Adderley @NorthantsChief
48K Followers 8K Following Chief Constable for Northamptonshire Police. Please do not use Twitter to report crimes or incidents. Use 101 for non emergency calls or 999 in an emergency.
Constable Chaos @ConstableChaos
26K Followers 2K Following The artist formerly known as Chaos ... Retired and living the dream in The Lakes eeeek 😱😱 ... Will continue to fight the thin blue lines corner 👍
TC🌳 @WoodlandNomad
11K Followers 2K Following Lover of books, bikes, barbells, kettlebells & whiskey. Data over ideology. At peace amongst the trees. #TreeClub 🌳
Moody_Driver©️™�.. @N0TINSERVICE
11K Followers 6K Following *Making bus driving sexy since 2004* *Self appointed CEO of #legclub 😂😉* *Happily Married and doing what I'm told ☺*
JJ @JJSharpers
15K Followers 3K Following ❤️Unapologetically loved up Wife & Mama ❤️✝️👱🏼♂️👩🏼 #Wife 💙 👶🏼👦🏼👦🏼👦🏼 #BoyMama 🩵🌎🩷🫶🏻⭐️ 👮🏼♀️@blueminds_wg 💙 @bleepkind 🏃🏼♀️
Chris Hobbs @obbsie
16K Followers 4K Following Ret Met cop 30+ years. Loves football, Jamaica, IOW & DJ’ing (friend/charities). Worked in Jamaica; trustee of small Jamaican kids charity. Police 'commentator'
Jonny G 🇺🇦 @dontforgetchaos
8K Followers 6K Following Bald tattooed metalhead who takes photos. Occasional Buddhist. Mostly caffeine fuelled irritability musings. Lots of me & my dog. Show me State 11. #PTSD
ACC Jay 💙💙 @ShortArmOfLaw
14K Followers 11K Following unofficial police ambassador👮🏻♂️ 🚔 @UK_COPS fundraiser. BBC Make A Difference Winner 🥇 #adhd #autistic #spd #dyslexic #StaySafe 💙💙
That’s Labour Innit.. @UKLabour_Innit
13K Followers 12K Following Exposing the Dangers, Lies & Hypocrisy of The Labour Party #TheEnemyWithin #NeverLabour #BLM #Hamas #ShariaLaw #NeverTrustLabour #LabourHypocrites #LabourParty
The Trojan Medic @TheTrojanMedic
6K Followers 2K Following Police Firearms Officer, ARV, OFC, Medic and Pre Hospital Trauma / D13 Instructor. All views are my own. Ring 999 or 101 to report a crime.
PC Tom Van Der Wee @PCTomVanDerWee
20K Followers 5K Following Police Constable on the Sussex Roads Policing Unit. Call 101 to report crime or incidents. In an emergency ring 999. Account not monitored 24/7.
Jeanette. Indy Scot. .. @LadyJinty
8K Followers 7K Following Socialist. SNP member. “If music be the food of love - play on." Celtic. Books. Punk. TransAllyScot🏳️⚧️🏳️🌈All opinions my Granny’s. She/Her.
London Republic @LondonRepublic1
2K Followers 5K Following Supporter of #DemocraticSocialism, #LondonIndependence/#Londependence and the establishment of a Independent #LondonCityState (that includes the #HomeCounties)
Phil Rowe @PhilRowe1905
14 Followers 40 Following
LADY FRANCESCA🌿⚖.. @FranInWV
741 Followers 5K Following 🎶ADD ME ON SNAPCHAT & IG:/queenB5k📲🛰📡 Music🎼🪬#1 Researcher👩🏻🔬🌱Designer👠Head of Psychology👩🏻🏫Lisa Simpson👩🏼🎤Scientist🥸🌐🎭🪩♠️ MJ-12🦄🔥🚀🌝
Samantha Mary D'Espos.. @Smd3802
618 Followers 5K Following 🔞 Age: 28 🔞 ------- Stop the spread, get a jab instead. Minors, please get a juice box and get out. ------ 9/11 survivor Main account for @KaiHopeSL
David C. @NordNorn
657 Followers 994 Following Full-Time Cat Employee. History Nut. Tea Connoisseur. Very Fitness. Much Satire. Such Nerd. #StreetArt #Architecture = PogChamp. Be Excellent To Each Other 🖖
Miranda @Brendan_Dorrian
4 Followers 772 Following My hobbies are golf, travel, food, and photography. I am looking for a mature, steady and sincere man in this area. If suitable, I would like to be with him.
Marvin not paranoid @And_Dow
2K Followers 3K Following Yes it is a Hawker Typhoon, Always with the negative waves, Moriarty. A quote from Maggie 'You may have to fight a battle more than once to win it' how true.
Sara Haboubi @SaraHaboubi1
14K Followers 5K Following Anti-Woke. Old fashioned 🦕 Woman. Mother. Stop #Agenda2030
Non Playable Characte.. @THAT_NPC_4
172 Followers 584 Following Just an NPC. bassist and guitarist of the hit band that doesn't exist!
Kaidyn B🦀✈️ Th.. @TheKaidynB
634 Followers 2K Following Proverbs 27:17 Team Hufflepuff hky #22 💛🦡🏒#IStandWithMattPetgrave #ArmUkraineNow #PuckBunny #IStandWithIsrael #NeckGuardsNow #FDT
Abe McAuley @AbeMcauley67696
11 Followers 8 Following
ExH @xexlxhx
147 Followers 193 Following
Danger mouse @Dangerm89123919
176 Followers 160 Following
Don Qixpel @DonQixpel
402 Followers 3K Following 1 = one (& sound); 2 = to, too, two, etc.; 3 = three/th; 4 = for, four; 5 = five/sh; 6 = six/uh; 7 = 'l'/'eye' sound; 8 = ate, eight, etc.; 9 = nine/ng; q = qu
Tom Rees @tomrees_11
72 Followers 308 Following
Mark 🇬🇧 🇺�.. @TheBossnME
2K Followers 4K Following **NO DM's UNLESS WE KNOW EACH OTHER** Owned by The Boss 🐈⬛ I care too much 🤔 Nature, photography, cycling, aircraft, and cats 🥰 Enigmatic 👍
Brian @BrianMillar96
158 Followers 950 Following proud husband and dad of five. RAF veteran. Just here to spread dad jokes, with the occasional drunken rant thrown in.
Kevin Brady @BradyKev
2 Followers 192 Following
isla @islaxhpes
0 Followers 45 Following
Claire @Imdaewen
10 Followers 55 Following
Kenny Gray @KennyGr61411855
2K Followers 5K Following 🐭🐭Surgical Product Specialist, supporter of Rangers Football Club,dislike (most) conspiracy theorists, Scottish, British and just a bit tired🐭🐭
Joshua Breeze @bree9293
1 Followers 78 Following
Ayala Associates @ayalaassociates
5 Followers 52 Following Tax time can be trying for anyone. Let the experts at Ayala and Associates handle it all. Our Certified Public Accoun
1552 @No1552
2K Followers 3K Following Ex Job, likes a flutter. Not really a “people person”. The only thing we leave behind for others are memories, try to make sure they’re good ones.
Susan @susan92135
762 Followers 2K Following
Alan FRASER @apoliticaleye
857 Followers 4K Following Normally in focus and capturing the undeniable reality of the moment.
Steve Perkins @Perky_43
2K Followers 2K Following • Food & Drink Advocate • Wildlife • Dogs • Peloton Wanker • Don't Take Life Too Seriously • Stop/It • Former Met & Herts Constable LSGCM 2000-2023
Paul Evans @pevans68
37 Followers 35 Following
James Buttler | Crick.. @cricket_badger
16K Followers 6K Following @james_buttler | sports journalist | broadcaster | commentator🏏🎾⚽️ | director @SBM_Podcasts | @YorksPodStudios | #LUFC | ambassador: @NBCCCIC
Tiana @TianaAnder17881
0 Followers 45 Following 🎶🎧oasis, blur, pulp , arctic monkeys, Jarvis Cocker, sex pistols, 🎸🏳️🌈
Govind Dhar @Govind_Dhar
2K Followers 4K Following Editor, https://t.co/Pz3LvuSpTq. Formerly @RobbReportIn, The Ceylon Chronicle. @BBC @Slate @CNTravellerME @TravelLeisure @WSJIndia @GQIndia @RollingStoneIn @BazaarIndia
Blatant Sockpuppet @BlatantSockPupt
1K Followers 3K Following Coiner of neologisms, spoiler of women. Follow me or be puppeted.
Univalent Foundation .. @mrshanksglasgow
55 Followers 370 Following
Four Hour Body @fat_boy_slims
10 Followers 62 Following 43 year old male, 6'3 hovering around 17 stone and taking serious steps to recover shape and self esteem!
Nicola Pickford @pickford_nicola
14 Followers 2K Following
backwatermel @backwatermel
2 Followers 517 Following
Samy Register @RegisterSa4685
4 Followers 91 Following
Andrew Lynch @Teamlynchy
66 Followers 284 Following
🌹Charlotte 😊�.. @CharlotteS98194
2K Followers 8K Following 🌹Centre left, hates Tories, supporting Starmer as we need Tories out, Zionist 🇮🇱 I❤️ History, Law & Politics. General Election now! KS4PM. I defend lawyers🎗
Reece @_rtpatel
2 Followers 67 Following
Philip Taylor @PhilTayl
198 Followers 911 Following Northern Irish engineer living in the Midlands. Football, MotoGP, Formula 1 fan.
THFC1978 @SPURS1978
3 Followers 1K Following
Heuristics @Heuristics61778
0 Followers 300 Following
RAF_Luton @RAF_Luton
147K Followers 27 Following The assumed Official Twitter account of the world's most mysterious & secret (and fictitious) military base. (Parody/Satire Account)
Stansaid Airport @StansaidAirport
52K Followers 6K Following 00 Days 00 Hours 00 Mins & 52 Seconds since last near miss. Parody.
Brick Cop©️ @Brick_Cop
44K Followers 4K Following Response Cop and Londoner. Building the world of Policing in #Lego 🚨 For Custom Minifigure Enquiries DM Me 📲 #BrickCop #ThinBlueLine Insta: @brick_cop 🇬🇧
UK Cop Humour @UKCopHumour
92K Followers 736 Following Simply trying to show the human side of our fantastic Police Officers & raise a bit of money for good causes whilst we're at it! RT's are not an endorsement.
TheMoustacheCop @CopMoustache
20K Followers 6K Following Retired, love it, came back, now passing the knowledge on “It’s our job to shine the light of justice into the darkest corners of criminality”
Sam Sparkes 💙🚔 @samsparkes999
38K Followers 7K Following Personal X account. I’m mum, Traffic Cop. FLC/FLO. TRiM Practitioner. I am human behind the uniform. Try to make others smile. Don’t report incidents here.
Harry Tangye @Ex_arv_sgt
50K Followers 3K Following Former Police Sgt 30 yrs | ARV Armed Response Sgt | Fatal Investigator | VIP Protection | Firearms Tactics Advisor l Public Speaker & Best Selling Author ⤵️
Lynne Owens @DameLynneOwens
48K Followers 8K Following Deputy Commissioner @metpoliceuk. Previous Director General @NCA_UK. Deputy Lieutenant in support of @SLieutenancy #breastcancer
Nick Adderley @NorthantsChief
48K Followers 8K Following Chief Constable for Northamptonshire Police. Please do not use Twitter to report crimes or incidents. Use 101 for non emergency calls or 999 in an emergency.
Constable Chaos @ConstableChaos
26K Followers 2K Following The artist formerly known as Chaos ... Retired and living the dream in The Lakes eeeek 😱😱 ... Will continue to fight the thin blue lines corner 👍
TC🌳 @WoodlandNomad
11K Followers 2K Following Lover of books, bikes, barbells, kettlebells & whiskey. Data over ideology. At peace amongst the trees. #TreeClub 🌳
Moody_Driver©️™�.. @N0TINSERVICE
11K Followers 6K Following *Making bus driving sexy since 2004* *Self appointed CEO of #legclub 😂😉* *Happily Married and doing what I'm told ☺*
JJ @JJSharpers
15K Followers 3K Following ❤️Unapologetically loved up Wife & Mama ❤️✝️👱🏼♂️👩🏼 #Wife 💙 👶🏼👦🏼👦🏼👦🏼 #BoyMama 🩵🌎🩷🫶🏻⭐️ 👮🏼♀️@blueminds_wg 💙 @bleepkind 🏃🏼♀️
Chris Hobbs @obbsie
16K Followers 4K Following Ret Met cop 30+ years. Loves football, Jamaica, IOW & DJ’ing (friend/charities). Worked in Jamaica; trustee of small Jamaican kids charity. Police 'commentator'
John Sutherland @policecommander
47K Followers 4K Following Retired Copper. Husband. Dad. Believer in Hope. Writes a bit too. 'The Fallen' from @Orionbooks is out now. Contact: [email protected]
Raj Kohli @RajSKohliexcop
19K Followers 4K Following Former MPS and Hampshire and IOW police officer. 31 years a public servant and enjoyed every minute of it - even the hard times.
Jonny G 🇺🇦 @dontforgetchaos
8K Followers 6K Following Bald tattooed metalhead who takes photos. Occasional Buddhist. Mostly caffeine fuelled irritability musings. Lots of me & my dog. Show me State 11. #PTSD
COPS @UK_COPS
26K Followers 2K Following Care Of Police Survivors (COPS) is the UK charity supporting families of police officers who have lost their lives on duty. COPS & The COPS logo are Reg. TM
Steve Perkins @Perky_43
2K Followers 2K Following • Food & Drink Advocate • Wildlife • Dogs • Peloton Wanker • Don't Take Life Too Seriously • Stop/It • Former Met & Herts Constable LSGCM 2000-2023
Gareth Williams. @history99917180
3K Followers 2K Following Previously worked for the Queen. Mature student - History. Premier league wheelchair rugby player at Northampton Saints. And I beat Cancer.
Andrew Fox @Mr_Andrew_Fox
58K Followers 6K Following Former airborne soldier. Posts in a personal capacity. 🏴
Russ Cook @hardestgeezer
354K Followers 185 Following The first person ever to run the full length of Africa @huel @perfecttednrg @hoka CHARITY FUNDRAISER⬇️
Tom Gaymor 🎙️ @TomGaymor
18K Followers 848 Following Commentator @SkySportsF1 INDYCAR / F1TV / @bbc5live / @Eurosport_UK / @btsport / Trustee @FlintHouseRehab / Ambassador @DIVERTLondon / @The_NFRSA / @lrpduk
michael @bisping
1.0M Followers 1K Following
Chief Superintendent .. @gordonmccreadie
4K Followers 2K Following Chief Superintendent in @policescotland. Local Policing Commander - Renfrewshire & Inverclyde Division. Specialist Firearms Commander. Not for reporting crime.
The Chaos Collective @DxntForgetChaxs
176 Followers 72 Following Urban Streetwear For A Jilted Generation coming soon. Welcome To The Jungle Punk.
Helen @hjwakerley
19K Followers 957 Following 🙆🏼♀️🙅🏼♀️💁🏼♀️Automotive adventures; London and elsewhere, often accompanied by a pair of naughty floofs. Always Check The Car Park #ACTCP
Hannah Barron @HannahBarron96_
221K Followers 73 Following 27 "The Catfish Girl" #GetBit #IAM1STPHORM • Huntin' • Fishin' • Noodlin' • Bowfishin' •
Queensland Police @QldPolice
249K Followers 337 Following Official Twitter account of the Queensland Police Service, Australia. Do not report crime here. Emergency: Triple Zero (000). Non Urgent: Policelink online
Lee Broadbent @leembroad
4K Followers 1K Following Personal tweets on policing, local/national politics, food, cooking, cocktails & other stuff. retweets/likes not endorsements
RPD Sable 💙 @PD_Sable
1K Followers 1K Following Retired Police Dog. RT are not an endorsement from me. Spurs through and through #COYS #TTID 🇺🇦 🇺🇦
Sam Hosier @AutoInfatuation
5K Followers 957 Following 33, Father, Husband, 🐶 Dad, ❤️☕️, Managing Director & PSV Transport Manager. BMW M760Li, 2x VIP Spec EVM 516 CDI Sprinters & a Mercedes ML420 CDI Sport.
Leanne Carr @theleaway
93K Followers 614 Following #1 https://t.co/DUkC5rQbs9 Fitness Streamer ▪️ Ex Police Inspector▪️ Partnered with @glytchenergy @kickstreaming
Ideological Office fo.. @PoliceEradicate
738 Followers 71 Following Latest News from IOPE. If you want to undermine our policing system message us (PARODY)
Rosie Holt @RosieisaHolt
305K Followers 3K Following See me on stage! https://t.co/48MElLDOpd • I’ve a POD https://t.co/4QtF1s4A6N • Buy me ☕️: https://t.co/RVOCBrYEbj • Rep: @schapmantalent
Nerine Skinner @nerineskinner
6K Followers 2K Following Comedian/BGT Semi-Finalist. Runner up Funny Women ‘23. Live Shows ➡️ https://t.co/0vb4cYemoj Buy me a Kofi ☕️➡️ https://t.co/wIuW0ybCSG
Sicarius McGrath @smcgrath90
4K Followers 5K Following Previously involved in Organised Crime. Now advocating gang / violence reduction & offender rehabilitation.
Joe Bangles CBE MP @JoeBangles11
33K Followers 22K Following Secretary For Cheese British Cheese Ambassador
Onion Weigher 𓄽 �.. @onionweigher
59K Followers 5K Following § 1032. Onion weigher - An onion weigher is appointed who is neither directly nor indirectly involved in the sale or distribution of onions.
Inspector Gadget @InspGadgetBlogs
3K Followers 133 Following Author 'Peverting The Course Of Justice' | Former British soldier | Tweets criminal justice & military stuff | #BlueLivesMatter
Santa Decides @SantaDecides
422K Followers 4K Following I exist and so does my wife. Turn on notis to be on the nicer list!
Crime Net @TRIGGERHAPPYV1
791K Followers 69 Following Crime Caught On Camera💥| Viewer Discretion Is Advised | Turn Notifications On
CyclingMikey the Unsp.. @MikeyCycling
32K Followers 3K Following The Find Out Fairy - reported 1,793 drivers since 2019. 2,344 penalty points, £143,593 in fines (not all results). YouTube: https://t.co/yK9ecQgqP8
Stan Collymore @StanCollymore
896K Followers 819 Following Former @LFC @AVFCOfficial @LCFC @NFFC @England footballer. Football broadcaster. Mental Health Advocate. Enquiries [email protected]
Computer Knowledge @ComputerrBooks
434K Followers 20 Following Learn Daily Advance Computer Tips & Knowledge 💻📚
Wealth Mentor @wealthmentor10
41K Followers 63 Following Empowering financial growth through education. Unlock wisdom, build wealth. Follow for transformative insights.
Dale Stark @DaleStarkA10
80K Followers 492 Following Retired USAF A-10 Pilot, Current Rancher, Hunter, Outdoorsman.
Chris Pollitt 🚘 @ThePollitt
35K Followers 863 Following Automotive word wrangler and video presenter. Buys and fixes cars that should go in the bin, really. Enquiries: [email protected]
Lawrence Whittaker @ListerLawrence
26K Followers 861 Following Owner of Britain’s oldest racing car manufacturer @ListerCars / CEO of the UK’s #1 car warranty firm @Warrantywise / Part-Time Farmer / Full-Time Car Enthusiast
Heather @veedubhev
2K Followers 842 Following Always try to do the right thing,don’t always succeed. Mostly here & there but I’ll always be there... Talks about Edy and @AutoFestHW too much. Typo queen & 🔧
Out of Context Human .. @NoContextHumans
4.0M Followers 247 Following The ORIGINAL Out of Context Human Race page! Subscribe to us for $1!↗️ No Copyright intended - DM for credit/removal
Angry People in Local.. @angrypiln
66K Followers 175 Following Angry People in Local Newspapers - Weird news - Bizarre headlines - Wild animals and ghosts which are actually cats - Bonkers billboards.
ZUBY: @ZubyMusic
1.2M Followers 4K Following Rapper. Author. Public Speaker. Coach. Host of 'Real Talk with Zuby' podcast. 'Strong Advice' fitness eBook - https://t.co/jZuDYSwVKR
greg @greg16676935420
803K Followers 525 Following im greg I like football and stocks and my birthday im from kentuckey. I'm a investor. I like to golf at the golf course @gregmultiverse • subscribe for $1 ⤴️
James Blunt @JamesBlunt
2.2M Followers 100 Following Cockney rhyming slang for the good stuff; Proof that one song is all you need. New album "Who We Used To Be" out now. On tour in 2024.
PotatoDog @Trash_Scientist
598 Followers 594 Following my name is nicholas. i work in an NHS blood sciences lab by day and sleep by night. pan enby. @digiital_demons is my better half 💍♥️
Elon Musk @elonmusk
181.3M Followers 584 Following
Sandford Council @SandfordCouncil
476 Followers 1 Following The best council in Britain. devoted to make sure our people aren't zombies. (parody)
CCTV IDIOTS @cctvidiots
3.2M Followers 26 Following Exposing idiots behavior from all over the world caught on camera.Ok let’s talk about desensitisation…👀 I don’t know how many sudden deaths I’ve been to. I can’t tell you how many dead bodies I’ve seen. That’s not a normal thing to say is it? (⚠️ Health warning for the rest of this post. ⚠️) But that’s my job. As a Response Cop and now…
@Sandford_Police @YorkshireTea They should have to buy Yorkshire tea for at least a decade, or face a prison sentence 😏
@Old__Crusty @Sandford_Police x.com/n00dles71/stat…
@markandcharlie @theJeremyVine @MikeyCycling How is this one for a "distracted" driver! Driving past London Cannon Street at peak hour with pedestrians crossing everywhere while watching p0rn and spanking the monkey. We have to share the roads with these people FFS!
@Sandford_Police From one admin to another, do better.
@Sandford_Police @HelenTheeWalt @metpoliceuk What happens when they transfer Sgt Angle!
@Sandford_Police @Joey7Barton 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣 I’m slow to the uptake 🥴Deserves a follow 👍
@Sandford_Police @FionaMc28352288 @Joey7Barton You've earned this one right here 🤣
@Sandford_Police 😂 Might get me invited to a dinner gala with PSU though 👀
Today is my 4 year anniversary of using Twitter/X. On day 1, I was single, drunk and asked Lord Alan "Sugartits" if he had a favourite cheese. 4 years later, 3.5 years sober, married with a beautiful daughter and wonderful step-daughter and many close twitter friends. Blessed.
@Sandford_Police @SoVeryBritish This is when, a few years ago, my son reached the peak of his policing career
@Sandford_Police @elonmusk Keep it in 2015 Elon 😅
@Sandford_Police Difficult to drive when you’re also eating a cornetto.
@Sandford_Police @HagertyUK @Hagerty @JasonCammisa Sorry to ruin your cuppa with utter bobins.
@Sandford_Police @SandfordCouncil Almost as safe as Edinburgh's cycle lane no where.
This is from an interaction I had yesterday morning after the Frenchies "board meeting" My video isn't aimed at large breed dog owners. It's aimed at every dog owner, from a pomeranian to a great dane who chose to let their dogs run over to all and sundry. It's all too common…
@Sandford_Police @BritishBull78 @Lordflashh3art I prefer the SMEAR test approach: - S “should go, depending on what else is more interesting” M “might turn up at some point” E for “expecting us would be a mistake” A "anxiously confused" R “really we are not even going to call you back or deal with your nonsense”
@Sandford_Police @Lordflashh3art If only other police forces took this approach
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