Scott @PeterParkerPWNZ
Pro Jersey Mikes eater, and all around try-hard. Mustang Lover and #TeamFat ambassador. Chicago, IL Joined May 2012-
Tweets9K
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Followers518
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Following111
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Likes7K
Just found a tick in my mustache, summer officially sucks.
gender studies gf and stoner bf
Neighbors looked at me like I was crazy for shoveling yesterday at like 10 when our HOA people will come out and do it for us. Now it’s 12 hours later and no one ever came and they are outside shoveling it all in order to get out. :)
See bought me an Air Frier for Christmas. I can’t wait to talk about this all the time and tell people how amazing it is. I finally made it.
Gmail is shitting the bed right now and this is gonna be a clusterfuck to deal with in the AM.
Des logged into my Hulu profile last night just to make sure I wasn’t getting ahead of her in Superstore because she’s sick and “didn’t trust me not to watch it without her”. God I love this woman
If I was a conspiracy theorist I would be in fucking heaven right now with all the shit going on lately.
Went to bed at 1, and had to be up at 6:45. I need a nap later tonight otherwise I’m in trouble,
Now THIS is marketing I can get behind #SendNoodsNotNudes
So thankful for the friends and family I have. Luckily I was able to get everything set up, hooked up, and put together tonight. I could not be more lucky.
Move in day today, hope all goes well. #FingersCrossed
Me every single weekend.
LMAOOOO damn.
To people who wear your mask inside your car, why...? Passed like 4 people on the highway yesterday that were all wearing them inside their cars. On the highway.
Some of you never got decked in the face with a Socker Bopper from your older siblings as a kid and it shows.
Hearts @Valiant_Hearts
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Donald Trump as soon as Elon Musk bought Twitter: #twittersold
My toxic trait is ordering 30$ worth of food when I’m hungover and eating maybe 6$ worth
Babe are you okay? You’ve hardly touched your Arbys curly fry 80 proof vodka :/
Was recognized for all my hard work today at UPS along side some of my coworkers 🙏🏼 place is tough but it’s for a reason 🔑
can't wait for school plays again so we can get more moments like when my friend played Peter Pan
@PeterParkerPWNZ At least you didn’t find it on your butthole
Mahalo @EA and @knockoutcity for the dope care package! I’m so excited to jump into the world of competitive dodgeball, y’all ain’t ready for my curveball 😉
This might be the funniest thing I’ve ever seen
@Waswere_RS I don't know but I still would use a spoon for sticky rice.
I'm happy for the person who finally managed to sell his Dharok's axe after 10 years
I know it’s only Monday but I already have the urge to slam 10 margaritas